Mummy vibes and sleep needed!

Hi all

I am so so tired. I thought I'd been tired over the last few weeks, but now
I'm exhausted. Kieran just seems to be sleep phobic, and I need advice!

Jessica was a perfect baby to get to sleep, and I think this is partly my
fault for not getting him straight into a routine. Well, kind of. He now
naturally wants to go to bed about 8pm and sleeps really well. I go to bed
at about 10-11pm and he wakes up at midnight. I'm now so tired that I take
him into my bed to feed, and then put him back in his crib, next to the bed.
Then he realises he's not in my bed and wakes throughout the night until I
just end up falling asleep with him in my bed. I don't like doing this as I
have narcolepsy, and I'm scared of being a risk.

The only thing that settles him is being breastfed. I can't give him formula
as it constipates him, and he screams all night, and expressed bottles make
him gassy as he's a guzzler. Back when I still have extra strength, I'd try
and keep him awake longer so as to feed him more and fill him right up, but
it didn't make any difference. I'm also shattered as I'm just feeding
constantly.If anything, he's getting worse, he did at least used to sleep
until 04.30. i've tried waking him earlier for feeds, but he just gets
unsettled and goes back to the constant waking. Even when he's in my bed
with me, he'll feed all night.

During the day is just as bad. He's always been a clingy baby, but he will
at least go to other people for 15-20 minutes at a time, but there's no way
I can leave him with DH during the weekend days as he screams the house down
until I get up. He takes very limited naps during the day unless I'm holding
him - even in the car and pram he doesn't sleep well. When Jessica goes for
a 2 hour nap in the afternoon, he'll maybe sleep in his crib for about 30
mins, and then wake me up and I end up falling asleep with him again.

I know that my narcolepsy causes excessive daytime sleepiness (EDS) anyway,
and I'm aware that the whole condition is worsening, but I can't carry on
like this. If I'd had just one night's sleep lately, I'd be able to give
myself advice, but I can't. If DH gets him during the night, I end up having
to get up as he screams til he gets me.I know I'm making it worse by taking
him into my bed, but I'm so tired that I just need to grab sleep where I
can.

Please, mummies, tell me you went through this, came through the otherside,
and that you have a magic sleeping wand that I can borrow!

Lucy - apologies if any of this makes no sense, I corrected as many mistakes
as I could!