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A question about unwed parenthood



 
 
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  #1  
Old September 23rd 04, 10:25 PM
Werebat
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Default A question about unwed parenthood


Question:

A couple have been living together for nearly a year, in the woman's
house. He earns about $50,000 per year, and she earns about $150,000
per year.

Though unmarried, they choose to have a child together.

Soon after the birth of the child, they go to family court to put it in
legal writing that each parent has 50/50 joint physical and legal
custody of the child.

Assume this goes through (will it?)

Ten years later, they dissolve their relationship. Since the house
doesn't belong to him, the man moves out.

Are there now grounds for a change in custody, if the woman sues for it?
How can the man protect himself from this?

- Ron ^*^

  #2  
Old September 23rd 04, 11:00 PM
The DaveŠ
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Default

Werebat wrote:
Soon after the birth of the child, they go to family court to put it
in legal writing that each parent has 50/50 joint physical and legal
custody of the child.

Assume this goes through (will it?)


I'm not clear why the family court would even get involved. There's no
divorce or other split that would necessitate CS.

--
If Illinois is the "Land of Lincoln", what were they before the Civil
War?
  #3  
Old September 23rd 04, 11:49 PM
Gini
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Default

In article YaH4d.45$Ok.21@okepread04, Werebat says...


Question:

A couple have been living together for nearly a year, in the woman's
house. He earns about $50,000 per year, and she earns about $150,000
per year.

Though unmarried, they choose to have a child together.

Soon after the birth of the child, they go to family court to put it in
legal writing that each parent has 50/50 joint physical and legal
custody of the child.

Assume this goes through (will it?)

Ten years later, they dissolve their relationship. Since the house
doesn't belong to him, the man moves out.

Are there now grounds for a change in custody, if the woman sues for it?
How can the man protect himself from this?

- Ron ^*^

====
Ya gonna be a daddy again, Ron? These are matters of state law but are subject
to the mood of the judge (that day). You will have to check your statutes.
====
====

  #4  
Old September 24th 04, 02:05 AM
Werebat
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Posts: n/a
Default



Gini wrote:
In article YaH4d.45$Ok.21@okepread04, Werebat says...


Question:

A couple have been living together for nearly a year, in the woman's
house. He earns about $50,000 per year, and she earns about $150,000
per year.

Though unmarried, they choose to have a child together.

Soon after the birth of the child, they go to family court to put it in
legal writing that each parent has 50/50 joint physical and legal
custody of the child.

Assume this goes through (will it?)

Ten years later, they dissolve their relationship. Since the house
doesn't belong to him, the man moves out.

Are there now grounds for a change in custody, if the woman sues for it?
How can the man protect himself from this?

- Ron ^*^


====
Ya gonna be a daddy again, Ron? These are matters of state law but are subject
to the mood of the judge (that day). You will have to check your statutes.
====


I'm only considering it because this woman is so exceptional. She knows
I'm posting here and has repeated many times that she doesn't want a
child unless I'm sure I want one too, and feel reasonably "safe" doing
so. She's also recommended I see a local lawyer about my options and
best bets for protecting myself. Otherwise she says she'd be happy
staying together and not having any kids.

Looks like I'm off to see a lawyer (again). Funny how they always win,
isn't it?

The irony is that I think she's a good egg, and I won't have to worry...
I've got no pressure to have a child, but the truth is I really would
like another, if it's with this woman. She's certainly not the Welfare
type, at any rate (understatement).

- Ron ^*^

  #5  
Old September 24th 04, 02:08 AM
Werebat
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Posts: n/a
Default



The DaveŠ wrote:

Werebat wrote:
Soon after the birth of the child, they go to family court to put it
in legal writing that each parent has 50/50 joint physical and legal
custody of the child.

Assume this goes through (will it?)



I'm not clear why the family court would even get involved. There's no
divorce or other split that would necessitate CS.


I'm told it's difficult to alter a custody decision once it's been put
in place... As such I'd rather have 50/50 joint physical and legal on
legal paper while things are going swimmingly between the two of us,
just in case something unexpected happens.

My hope is that if we split years later, it would already be on paper
that we have 50/50 joint physical and legal, and that that would be
difficult to change.

Since she makes more money than I do, and likely always will, that will
leave me in a secure position financially (by that I mean I won't be
forking over any of my money to her, not that I'd expect a court to
award me one cent of a woman's money).

- Ron ^*^

  #6  
Old September 24th 04, 03:06 AM
Tippy
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Default



--
Tippy
"Werebat" wrote in message
news:mpK4d.334469$Oi.78373@fed1read04...


Gini wrote:
In article YaH4d.45$Ok.21@okepread04, Werebat says...


Question:

A couple have been living together for nearly a year, in the woman's
house. He earns about $50,000 per year, and she earns about $150,000
per year.

Though unmarried, they choose to have a child together.

Soon after the birth of the child, they go to family court to put it in
legal writing that each parent has 50/50 joint physical and legal
custody of the child.

Assume this goes through (will it?)

Ten years later, they dissolve their relationship. Since the house
doesn't belong to him, the man moves out.

Are there now grounds for a change in custody, if the woman sues for it?
How can the man protect himself from this?

- Ron ^*^


====
Ya gonna be a daddy again, Ron? These are matters of state law but are

subject
to the mood of the judge (that day). You will have to check your

statutes.
====


I'm only considering it because this woman is so exceptional. She knows
I'm posting here and has repeated many times that she doesn't want a
child unless I'm sure I want one too, and feel reasonably "safe" doing
so. She's also recommended I see a local lawyer about my options and
best bets for protecting myself. Otherwise she says she'd be happy
staying together and not having any kids.

Looks like I'm off to see a lawyer (again). Funny how they always win,
isn't it?

The irony is that I think she's a good egg, and I won't have to worry...
I've got no pressure to have a child, but the truth is I really would
like another, if it's with this woman. She's certainly not the Welfare
type, at any rate (understatement).

- Ron ^*^


Ron -- I suggest both of you need to protect yourselves-- legally.
Attitudes change, people change, circumstances change.

Remember also that marriage conveys certain rights (we all know about the
disadvantages) that neither of you will have. Since you plan on spending
eternity together, you should take her up on the advice and it's good for
her to to see an attorney,too, even if you both go together. You need to
know what will happen in the event one or both you die, or get disabled, or
whatever.



  #7  
Old September 24th 04, 03:13 AM
dadslawyer
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Posts: n/a
Default

Read section on unwed fathers rights in the Guide to Fathers Rights
available at fathers-rights.com
"Werebat" wrote in message
news:YaH4d.45$Ok.21@okepread04...

Question:

A couple have been living together for nearly a year, in the woman's
house. He earns about $50,000 per year, and she earns about $150,000 per
year.

Though unmarried, they choose to have a child together.

Soon after the birth of the child, they go to family court to put it in
legal writing that each parent has 50/50 joint physical and legal custody
of the child.

Assume this goes through (will it?)

Ten years later, they dissolve their relationship. Since the house
doesn't belong to him, the man moves out.

Are there now grounds for a change in custody, if the woman sues for it?
How can the man protect himself from this?

- Ron ^*^



  #8  
Old September 24th 04, 03:04 PM
Suzanna
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Posts: n/a
Default

snip

Werebat wrote:
Soon after the birth of the child, they go to family court to put it
in legal writing that each parent has 50/50 joint physical and legal
custody of the child.

Assume this goes through (will it?)



I'm not clear why the family court would even get involved. There's no
divorce or other split that would necessitate CS.


I don't think Family Court would get involved either. Just draw up the
document with a lawyer. Then, if a split happens, there's a legal
document to show in Family Court.


I'm told it's difficult to alter a custody decision once it's been put
in place... As such I'd rather have 50/50 joint physical and legal on
legal paper while things are going swimmingly between the two of us,
just in case something unexpected happens.


Custody decisions get altered all the time, even ones decided by a
judge or mediator.


snip

Since she makes more money than I do, and likely always will, that will
leave me in a secure position financially (by that I mean I won't be
forking over any of my money to her, not that I'd expect a court to
award me one cent of a woman's money).


The gender makes no difference. If she makes more money than you, then
she may just have to fork some over. I would expect no less. I know
plenty of women who pay their exes, and willingly. But then again, I'm
talking about educated women, not gutter trash that some men seem to
hold dear.

Let the flames begain!!!!
  #9  
Old September 24th 04, 04:47 PM
The DaveŠ
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Posts: n/a
Default

dadslawyer wrote:
Read section on unwed fathers rights in the Guide to Fathers Rights
available at fathers-rights.com


You left off the other part... "Have your VISA/MasterCard Ready!
Or send check or money order to:"

When you post and direct people, it would be courteous to at least
mention that payment is expected for this information.

--
If Illinois is the "Land of Lincoln", what were they before the Civil
War?
  #10  
Old September 24th 04, 06:13 PM
Gini
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

In article , Suzanna says...

snip

Werebat wrote:
Soon after the birth of the child, they go to family court to put it
in legal writing that each parent has 50/50 joint physical and legal
custody of the child.

Assume this goes through (will it?)


I'm not clear why the family court would even get involved. There's no
divorce or other split that would necessitate CS.


I don't think Family Court would get involved either. Just draw up the
document with a lawyer. Then, if a split happens, there's a legal
document to show in Family Court.

====
The document isn't "legal" for custody/support matters unless approved by a
judge.
====
====

 




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