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6 month old - cosleeping to crib?
Hello everyone...
Our 6 month old boy (our first and only so far) has been cosleeping with us since he was born back in May. We have a crib but he hasn't used it one bit. He needs to be in bed or in our arms (mine - i'm the daddy by the way) to take naps. We are moving into our first house this weekend coming and he'll have his own room (in an apartment now). We want to start some good sleeping habits , not only because i snore (which he might be used to anyway, but i do wonder if it makes him sleep less soundly) but we want him to start to learn self worth or what-have-you , you know, confidence and all that. We're going to have to do it eventually, we don't want him sleeping with us past 1 year. Is now the time to do it as far as the "best" time, meaning, now is a less difficult time compared to 9, 12 months? He can't sit himself up on his own yet, so of course he can't stand on his own either. We LOVE him sleeping with us, but really it does need to end at somepoint. Thanks! Paul & Nancy |
#2
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6 month old - cosleeping to crib?
On Nov 26, 4:08�pm, Psalm Nuclei wrote:
Hello everyone... Our 6 month old boy (our first and only so far) has been cosleeping with us since he was born back in May. We have a crib but he hasn't used it one bit. He needs to be in bed or in our arms (mine - i'm the daddy by the way) to take naps. We are moving into our first house this weekend coming and he'll have his own room (in an apartment now). We want to start some good sleeping habits , not only because i snore (which he might be used to anyway, but i do wonder if it makes him sleep less soundly) but we want him to start to learn self worth or what-have-you , you know, confidence and all that. We're going to have to do it eventually, we don't want him sleeping with us past 1 year. Is now the time to do it as far as the "best" time, meaning, now is a less difficult time compared to 9, 12 months? He can't sit himself up on his own yet, so of course he can't stand on his own either. We LOVE him sleeping with us, but really it does need to end at somepoint. Thanks! Paul & Nancy I've heard many different techniques, but we placed our baby's crib right next to our bed (with rales on both sides still and up) and he has been a great sleeper. He would just peek over the side bumper pad at me each morning and smile. Such a breeze really. He prefers being read to, rocked, and placed into his crib with a musical aquarium mobile thing attached to the side and playing, and he is now just over 2 years old. He doesn't like it stone silent. He has had his own room now, the same room since we moved our bed out and he was used to his room, since before the age of 1. I can't imagine suffering through transition for years such as some people I know have done all the way through with even a 6-y/o. All of my kids slept in their own cribs, have never been left to cry it out, have joined us in our beds on bad- dream nights or thunderstorm nights, etc., and we've never had any sleep issues. I believe the sooner they learn to fall asleep, fall back to sleep, etc. on their own, the better. The older they get, the more they can communicate they don't want to do it alone, because they won't know how, and the more it tugs at your heart, even if you are unable to do the family bed thing, That doesn't mean I advocate plopping them down and leaving the room while they scream their heads off, just that they can and do get used to being placed down very drowsy and finishing off drifting to sleep on their own with proper techniques. On the other hand, some kids just won't -- it's a crap shoot IMO. lol. |
#3
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6 month old - cosleeping to crib?
Psalm Nuclei wrote:
Hello everyone... Our 6 month old boy (our first and only so far) has been cosleeping with us since he was born back in May. We have a crib but he hasn't used it one bit. He needs to be in bed or in our arms (mine - i'm the daddy by the way) to take naps. We are moving into our first house this weekend coming and he'll have his own room (in an apartment now). We want to start some good sleeping habits , not only because i snore (which he might be used to anyway, but i do wonder if it makes him sleep less soundly) but we want him to start to learn self worth or what-have-you , you know, confidence and all that. I don't think that co-sleeping in any way undermines any of those things. That said, you don't have to appeal to any of those things to stop co-sleeping. If you want to be done with it by a year, that's your choice and no other justification needed. We're going to have to do it eventually, we don't want him sleeping with us past 1 year. Is now the time to do it as far as the "best" time, meaning, now is a less difficult time compared to 9, 12 months? Yes, if you want to do it, now is generally a pretty good window of opportunity for most kids (no guarantee with any specific kid, though ;-) ). Best wishes, Ericka |
#4
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6 month old - cosleeping to crib?
Psalm Nuclei wrote:
Hello everyone... Our 6 month old boy (our first and only so far) has been cosleeping with us since he was born back in May. We have a crib but he hasn't used it one bit. He needs to be in bed or in our arms (mine - i'm the daddy by the way) to take naps. We are moving into our first house this weekend coming and he'll have his own room (in an apartment now). We want to start some good sleeping habits , not only because i snore (which he might be used to anyway, but i do wonder if it makes him sleep less soundly) but we want him to start to learn self worth or what-have-you , you know, confidence and all that. We're going to have to do it eventually, we don't want him sleeping with us past 1 year. Is now the time to do it as far as the "best" time, meaning, now is a less difficult time compared to 9, 12 months? He can't sit himself up on his own yet, so of course he can't stand on his own either. We LOVE him sleeping with us, but really it does need to end at somepoint. All our children transitioned from their large mobile bassinette to their cot at around 5 or 6 months of age although they still came into our bed for cuddles if they needed to until they no longer wanted to. So I think moving might be a very good time to change their default sleeping place to their cot/crib and begin that transition. If he seems to be having a bit of trouble settling in you could try having bedding in his room to use to keep him company or just bring him back to your bed for a few minutes of reassurance. I suggest you don't keep him in with you all night unless he's not well while your transitioning him to his own sleeping place. |
#5
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6 month old - cosleeping to crib?
Psalm Nuclei wrote:
Hello everyone... Our 6 month old boy (our first and only so far) has been cosleeping with us since he was born back in May. We have a crib but he hasn't used it one bit. He needs to be in bed or in our arms (mine - i'm the daddy by the way) to take naps. We are moving into our first house this weekend coming and he'll have his own room (in an apartment now). We want to start some good sleeping habits , not only because i snore (which he might be used to anyway, but i do wonder if it makes him sleep less soundly) but we want him to start to learn self worth or what-have-you , you know, confidence and all that. He'll learn that just fine regardless of where he's sleeping. Anthropological evidence tells us that in lots of societies where bedsharing is normal, children actually become more independent more quickly than we would expect in this society. (See http://tinyurl.com/2nn5lr.) I would recommend basing your decisions on what you're happy with at each stage, not on an idea that you need to do things a certain way with his sleeping to get him to learn confidence. The way children learn confidence is by having parents who are loving and caring for and gently nudging them to try new things while always being there for them and sympathising when they do feel nervous about something. As for sleeping arrangements, just do whatever's working for you as a family at each stage. We're going to have to do it eventually, we don't want him sleeping with us past 1 year. Is now the time to do it as far as the "best" time, meaning, now is a less difficult time compared to 9, 12 months? Probably best to avoid 9 months, since this is apparently a typical sort of age for a child's sleep patterns to regress temporarily (and then sort themselves out fairly spontanteously). Other than that, I don't know if there's a right or a wrong age, but one thing to bear in mind is that transitioning to a crib *and* a separate room *and* having the upheaval of a house move all in one go is quite a bit of change. So it might be best to leave it a few weeks and/or do the move by stages so that he goes into his cot first and then into his own room a bit later. He can't sit himself up on his own yet, so of course he can't stand on his own either. Which is probably a practical advantage. ;-) We LOVE him sleeping with us, but really it does need to end at somepoint. Quite. End it at whatever point you're unhappy about having him sleep with you. BTW, in terms of how to do it, I found a method described in Tracey Hogg's 'The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems' was quite useful. Basically, after a bedtime routine you put the baby into the cot while he's still drowsy rather than asleep. Then, if he cries, you pick him up for a cuddle and then put him back down again. (There are slight variations depending on age - at this age she recommends holding him for a few minutes to calm him before putting him down, but for older babies she recommends putting them down immediately after picking him up, so they literally go up and then back down again.) Keep doing this until the baby falls asleep. It should hopefully take less and less time each night. I found this method useful for transitioning my son (who was just over a year old at the time). That way he wasn't left on his own crying when he was getting used to the cot. I did find I then had to do a further transition when I left him alone to cry for a few minutes at a time, because, having got used to his cot, he was fighting sleep more and more and refusing to settle, and I really had to walk out of the room to give him the message that it was bedtime. But the method of picking him up and then putting him down again was really useful for the *initial* transfer and getting him used to the cot, though you have to be prepared for a lot of crying the first time and maybe the first few times you try it. All the best, Sarah -- http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com "That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell |
#6
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6 month old - cosleeping to crib?
"Psalm Nuclei" wrote in message ... Hello everyone... Our 6 month old boy (our first and only so far) has been cosleeping with us since he was born back in May. We have a crib but he hasn't used it one bit. He needs to be in bed or in our arms (mine - i'm the daddy by the way) to take naps. We are moving into our first house this weekend coming and he'll have his own room (in an apartment now). We want to start some good sleeping habits , not only because i snore (which he might be used to anyway, but i do wonder if it makes him sleep less soundly) but we want him to start to learn self worth or what-have-you , you know, confidence and all that. I, personally, believe that developing good sleep habits is very important. When Mom and Dad are not availble to sleep with a child, they still should be able to get their sleep needs met. Not getting enough sleep is a big problem for school systems. That said, I don't think a 6mo is going to learn self worth and confidence by sleeping in a crib. Whatever your reasons, there are any number of books on the subject. I would recommend a trip to your local library. We're going to have to do it eventually, we don't want him sleeping with us past 1 year. Is now the time to do it as far as the "best" time, meaning, now is a less difficult time compared to 9, 12 months? He can't sit himself up on his own yet, so of course he can't stand on his own either. We LOVE him sleeping with us, but really it does need to end at somepoint. Some people choose to have it end when the child is ready. But that could see you cosleeping for years to come. Thanks! Paul & Nancy |
#7
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6 month old - cosleeping to crib?
Well thanks for the info everyone.
DW and I had a nice talk last night and we decided to continue cosleeping with our baby. She likes it, I like it, he loves it, and really, that's all that matters - his happiness. |
#8
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6 month old - cosleeping to crib?
On Nov 27, 11:58 am, Psalm Nuclei wrote:
Well thanks for the info everyone. DW and I had a nice talk last night and we decided to continue cosleeping with our baby. She likes it, I like it, he loves it, and really, that's all that matters - his happiness. You have the right to set your priorities that way, but I think parents should consider the happiness of everyone, including themselves, when making decisions. Parents need not be martyrs. Unhappiness of parents may affect how they interact with their children, and kids themselves will be happier in the long run if they realize that other people do not view their happiness as the only or even primary consideration. |
#9
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6 month old - cosleeping to crib?
On Tue, 27 Nov 2007 08:58:04 -0800 (PST), Psalm Nuclei
wrote: Well thanks for the info everyone. DW and I had a nice talk last night and we decided to continue cosleeping with our baby. She likes it, I like it, he loves it, and really, that's all that matters - his happiness. Sounds great for your family, and that is what is important. I love co-sleeping with my kidlets :-) Nan |
#10
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6 month old - cosleeping to crib?
Beliavsky wrote: On Nov 27, 11:58 am, Psalm Nuclei wrote: Well thanks for the info everyone. DW and I had a nice talk last night and we decided to continue cosleeping with our baby. She likes it, I like it, he loves it, and really, that's all that matters - his happiness. You have the right to set your priorities that way, but I think parents should consider the happiness of everyone, including themselves, when making decisions. Parents need not be martyrs. Unhappiness of parents may affect how they interact with their children, and kids themselves will be happier in the long run if they realize that other people do not view their happiness as the only or even primary consideration. There's nothing in the previous post to indicate that the parents are being martyrs - it sounds like co-sleeping suits everyone. Clisby |
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