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#11
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What do you say...
My mom's pat answer was something on the "right now, one is giving me a
bad day; it will change soon." That's a good one. Stephanie Jake and Ryan 9/3/99 |
#12
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What do you say...
Well, I try to remember that people don't mean any harm when they say these
kinds of things, and that helps me not to get so irritated. I know that's easier said than done, though. That being said, when people try to label them or ask me who's "the good one" and who's "the bad one" I usually say "Well, it depends on their mood." It's not terribly clever, but it usually shuts them up. ) Tori Mommy to Lauren & Madison 4/4/01 |
#13
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What do you say...
Well, I try to remember that people don't mean any harm when they say these
kinds of things, and that helps me not to get so irritated. I know that's easier said than done, though. That being said, when people try to label them or ask me who's "the good one" and who's "the bad one" I usually say "Well, it depends on their mood." It's not terribly clever, but it usually shuts them up. ) Tori Mommy to Lauren & Madison 4/4/01 |
#14
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What do you say...
I don't really understand why it is a problem to be asked which is "louder",
"quieter" or "dominant", "blah blah", because to my mind the OP answered her own question here -- a question like that doesn't conflict with what the OP said (each baby "simply has a different style"). Well, yes, and that different style could well be quieter, louder, more dominant ..... whatever the person is asking. I have one who is more sensitive, one more whine-y and one more strident and it wouldn't bother me to admit that to a stranger. OTOH, all three are perfectionists (hate to get things wrong), etc. So I'd just answer the truth -- just like any siblings, one is or isn't fussier generally OR they are both the same overall but act differently at different times. I think people understand that perfectly well. Having said that -- I have never been asked which of mine was good/bad so I don't have a practiced answer BUT it obviously is a stupid or even offensive question. Still I think I would answer it simply -- "Which is the evil one? ha ha Well, none of them of course, they're all great kids, but if you mean which one is more difficult, well that just depends on the moment." Probably laughing hysterically as I answer, to show how silly it is. --Janet Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96) and Holly (4/4/01) "telmgren" wrote in message . com... Well, I try to remember that people don't mean any harm when they say these kinds of things, and that helps me not to get so irritated. I know that's easier said than done, though. That being said, when people try to label them or ask me who's "the good one" and who's "the bad one" I usually say "Well, it depends on their mood." It's not terribly clever, but it usually shuts them up. ) Tori Mommy to Lauren & Madison 4/4/01 |
#15
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What do you say...
I don't really understand why it is a problem to be asked which is "louder",
"quieter" or "dominant", "blah blah", because to my mind the OP answered her own question here -- a question like that doesn't conflict with what the OP said (each baby "simply has a different style"). Well, yes, and that different style could well be quieter, louder, more dominant ..... whatever the person is asking. I have one who is more sensitive, one more whine-y and one more strident and it wouldn't bother me to admit that to a stranger. OTOH, all three are perfectionists (hate to get things wrong), etc. So I'd just answer the truth -- just like any siblings, one is or isn't fussier generally OR they are both the same overall but act differently at different times. I think people understand that perfectly well. Having said that -- I have never been asked which of mine was good/bad so I don't have a practiced answer BUT it obviously is a stupid or even offensive question. Still I think I would answer it simply -- "Which is the evil one? ha ha Well, none of them of course, they're all great kids, but if you mean which one is more difficult, well that just depends on the moment." Probably laughing hysterically as I answer, to show how silly it is. --Janet Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96) and Holly (4/4/01) "telmgren" wrote in message . com... Well, I try to remember that people don't mean any harm when they say these kinds of things, and that helps me not to get so irritated. I know that's easier said than done, though. That being said, when people try to label them or ask me who's "the good one" and who's "the bad one" I usually say "Well, it depends on their mood." It's not terribly clever, but it usually shuts them up. ) Tori Mommy to Lauren & Madison 4/4/01 |
#16
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What do you say...
"Marie" wrote in message ...when people try to "label" your twins as "the good one" and "the demanding one," or terms to that effect? Like others I just say they change all the time. But on a similar note... /start rant One of my girls has a medical problem and I was reading her notes the other day at an appointment and noticed in her profile they had labelled her a non-identical twin. That really irked me. Why could they not just call her a fraternal twin, do they equally call identical twins non-fraternal twins? No, they don't. Your either identical or non-identical, a sneech with stars or without. Hump as if being identical is the only way to reference multiples..../rant over -- Andrea If I can't be a good example, then I'll just have to be a horrible warning. |
#17
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What do you say...
"Marie" wrote in message ...when people try to "label" your twins as "the good one" and "the demanding one," or terms to that effect? Like others I just say they change all the time. But on a similar note... /start rant One of my girls has a medical problem and I was reading her notes the other day at an appointment and noticed in her profile they had labelled her a non-identical twin. That really irked me. Why could they not just call her a fraternal twin, do they equally call identical twins non-fraternal twins? No, they don't. Your either identical or non-identical, a sneech with stars or without. Hump as if being identical is the only way to reference multiples..../rant over -- Andrea If I can't be a good example, then I'll just have to be a horrible warning. |
#18
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What do you say...
Andrea writes:
One of my girls has a medical problem and I was reading her notes the other day at an appointment and noticed in her profile they had labelled her a non-identical twin. That really irked me. Why could they not just call her a fraternal twin, do they equally call identical twins non-fraternal twins? I think identical/non-identical is common medical terminology. Admittedly, monozygotic/dizygotic is more "scientific" (and avoids the implication that "identical" twins are exactly the same), but those don't really roll off most people's tongues. I think the medical community avoids the term "fraternal" because its primary meaning is "brotherly" or "friendly" ("fraternal" comes from the Latin term for "brother"), so it's rather an odd usage (i.e., twins that aren't "fraternal" can still be brothers, or friendly). It's hardly the only case whether the colloquial term ("fraternal") is different from the common medical usage ("non-identical"). David desJardins |
#19
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What do you say...
Andrea writes:
One of my girls has a medical problem and I was reading her notes the other day at an appointment and noticed in her profile they had labelled her a non-identical twin. That really irked me. Why could they not just call her a fraternal twin, do they equally call identical twins non-fraternal twins? I think identical/non-identical is common medical terminology. Admittedly, monozygotic/dizygotic is more "scientific" (and avoids the implication that "identical" twins are exactly the same), but those don't really roll off most people's tongues. I think the medical community avoids the term "fraternal" because its primary meaning is "brotherly" or "friendly" ("fraternal" comes from the Latin term for "brother"), so it's rather an odd usage (i.e., twins that aren't "fraternal" can still be brothers, or friendly). It's hardly the only case whether the colloquial term ("fraternal") is different from the common medical usage ("non-identical"). David desJardins |
#20
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What do you say...
"David desJardins" wrote in message ... Andrea writes: One of my girls has a medical problem and I was reading her notes the other day at an appointment and noticed in her profile they had labelled her a non-identical twin. That really irked me. Why could they not just call her a fraternal twin, do they equally call identical twins non-fraternal twins? I think identical/non-identical is common medical terminology. Admittedly, monozygotic/dizygotic is more "scientific" (and avoids the implication that "identical" twins are exactly the same), but those don't really roll off most people's tongues. I think the medical community avoids the term "fraternal" because its primary meaning is "brotherly" or "friendly" ("fraternal" comes from the Latin term for "brother"), so it's rather an odd usage (i.e., twins that aren't "fraternal" can still be brothers, or friendly). I agree--fraternal, in these PC days, is not gender-inclusive. Interestingly, I ran into this a while ago: someone in the shopping mall was admiring the kidlets. We had already covered the "are they twins?" and the fact that they are two boys when we got to the next standard question, "are they identical?" I said, "no, they're fraternal." The woman says "Of course, you said they were boys didn't you." She walked away, leaving me thinking "what did she think I would have said if they were girls?" Marie It's hardly the only case whether the colloquial term ("fraternal") is different from the common medical usage ("non-identical"). David desJardins |
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