Advice

"patriciaboley" wrote in message
news:5mTec.28608$xn4.52378@attbi_s51...
Hi, I am new here, and have a 6 year old son who is having some problems
at
school with behaving, listening to his teacher, and being nice to the
other
kids. When the school year first started, he was doing just fine in this
area, but over the past couple of months, it has just really gone
downhill. [snip] He lost his grandpa last month, who he was very close
to. I think that may be part of it, but the problems started before that.

From your later post, it appears that the problems did start about when his
grandpa got sick. Poor kid. Is he the verbal type? Have you guys sat down
recently and talked about the grandad and his loss? Maybe you could do some
osrt of memorial project about him (e.g., a collage of photos and favorite
grandpa sayings), for some closure. Is he grouchier than he used to be at
home as well? Besides the grandfather situation, what else may have changed
at school? Are the boys clique-y? Does he have friends there? Is he bored?
My son was great in K for about the first half of the year, when it was all
new and exciting and he knew he had to prove himself. But, eventually, out
of pure boredom, he started acting out: bugging the kids at his table,
plotting stuff at recess, etc. It worked for us to come down hard, along
with his teacher. She sent home a *daily* notice of his cooperation in
certain areas, which we tied in to certain privileges and rewards, and that
did the trick very quickly. (But school boredom remained an issue for him --
he was just maintaining better control -- and we took him out of school at
the end of that year.) But he didn't have this emotional issue going on that
your son does. Well, good luck!

Is he the verbal type? Have you guys sat down
recently and talked about the grandad and his loss? Maybe you could do
some
osrt of memorial project about him (e.g., a collage of photos and favorite
grandpa sayings), for some closure.

He is pretty verbal, but I think with this situation he can't quite figure
out how to express himself. The only thing he ever says about it is "My
Grandpa died" and then he changes the subject. I don't want to push too
much, but we do talk about our memories. We explained to all of the
grandkids that Grandpa's spirit went to heaven and his body went to a bed in
the ground to sleep forever. Mackenzie went to the visitation and fununeral
both, and at the visitation, put a picture of himself in with Grandpa.

Is he grouchier than he used to be at
home as well? Besides the grandfather situation, what else may have
changed
at school? Are the boys clique-y? Does he have friends there? Is he bored?

He has been a little more unruly at home too, so it's not just at school.
We learned at the beginning of the school year that how he behaves depends
on who he is playing with. There are a couple of boys in his class that if
he plays with them, they all tend to get into more trouble. The teacher is
good about separating them in the classroom, not sitting them next to each
other, etc. However that isn't possible at lunch time and recess. I think
boredom is an issue as well, and we are working n that. I get off of work at
2:30 everyday, so when I pick him up I make sure to talk to his teacher to
see how his day went, what problems came up, etc., so I can address them at
home. Today was the second green day in a row, so maybe we are getting
through this. I am sure that this isn't the end of the problems, as I am
sure this isn't going to be a quick fix thing, but it's a step in the right
direction.

My son was great in K for about the first half of the year, when it was
all
new and exciting and he knew he had to prove himself. But, eventually, out
of pure boredom, he started acting out: bugging the kids at his table,
plotting stuff at recess, etc. It worked for us to come down hard, along
with his teacher. She sent home a *daily* notice of his cooperation in
certain areas, which we tied in to certain privileges and rewards, and
that
did the trick very quickly. (But school boredom remained an issue for
him --
he was just maintaining better control -- and we took him out of school at
the end of that year.) But he didn't have this emotional issue going on
that
your son does. Well, good luck!