Teaching a toddler to communicate needs

I have a 26 MO & He has been communicating a little. He just started
saying Diaper when he needs a change. Even if just wet.

The one thing that drives us both nuts is when he grunts when he wants
down from his high chair after eating. We have been trying to teach
him "All done", but at the moment he shows no interest in saying it,
although I believe he might know what it means because he is pretty
smart.

We ask him many many times in a sing-y voice
"Are you finished, Are you all done?
"Saaay... All done"

Besides leaving him in his chair till he says it, does anybody have
some good ideas as to how to help him along with saying it?


Denise, Brian & Wyatt (May 31, 02)

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...
A true friend will be sitting next to you saying,
"Damn...that was fun!"

Denise~* wrote in
:


I have a 26 MO & He has been communicating a little. He
just started saying Diaper when he needs a change. Even if
just wet.

The one thing that drives us both nuts is when he grunts
when he wants down from his high chair after eating.
We ask him many many times in a sing-y voice
"Are you finished, Are you all done?
"Saaay... All done"

Besides leaving him in his chair till he says it, does
anybody have some good ideas as to how to help him along
with saying it?

how verbal is he? have you tried teaching him the signs for
all done? at that age most of my son's communication was in
sign language.
i think leaving him in the chair until he says 'all done' is
mean, but i think you were joking anyway. just keep repeating
the 'all done. get down.' every time you take him out & he'll
catch on.
lee

With Bonnie I dont give her what she wants until she asks for it. Grunting
is not an answer.. though how much does he say? We have been working on
please. thank you/ up / down for a while along with Juice/ water(water also
seems to mean milk) and cheese.. though sometimes cheese means please

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Xavier due 10/17/04
"Denise~*" wrote in message
...

I have a 26 MO & He has been communicating a little. He just started
saying Diaper when he needs a change. Even if just wet.

The one thing that drives us both nuts is when he grunts when he wants
down from his high chair after eating. We have been trying to teach
him "All done", but at the moment he shows no interest in saying it,
although I believe he might know what it means because he is pretty
smart.

We ask him many many times in a sing-y voice
"Are you finished, Are you all done?
"Saaay... All done"

Besides leaving him in his chair till he says it, does anybody have
some good ideas as to how to help him along with saying it?


Denise, Brian & Wyatt (May 31, 02)

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...
A true friend will be sitting next to you saying,
"Damn...that was fun!"

On Thu, 29 Jul 2004 17:20:57 -0500, "Tori M."
wrote:

With Bonnie I dont give her what she wants until she asks for it. Grunting
is not an answer.. though how much does he say? We have been working on
please. thank you/ up / down for a while along with Juice/ water(water also
seems to mean milk) and cheese.. though sometimes cheese means please

Tori

So far, he communicates with these words: Thank you, hot, juice,
water, milk, night-night, diaper, bath (I might be forgetting a few).

He can identify & say _many_ objects & body parts. I could start
listing them, but I know I'd leave some out. He really knows alot of
words.

He understands many commands and sometimes suprises me at what he
actually will understand & do after being asked nicely.


Denise, Brian & Wyatt (May 31, 02)

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...
A true friend will be sitting next to you saying,
"Damn...that was fun!"

On 29 Jul 2004 22:19:59 GMT, enigma wrote:

how verbal is he?

I responded to the other post with this answer.

have you tried teaching him the signs for
all done? at that age most of my son's communication was in
sign language.

I don't know enough sign language to teach him, unfortunately.
Iv'e heard it's easier, but I'd rather he learn words anyhow.

i think leaving him in the chair until he says 'all done' is
mean, but i think you were joking anyway.

Yes, that was sarcasm. I have a friend who suggested it & does it
with her children. A couple times we have left him in his chair for a
while, but not for a long time. Maybe 10-15 minutes after he is
(visually) done eating just to see if he will say "all done" after us
asking him every few minutes if he is done. He never says it so take
him down, all the while telling him how to say "all done" and why.

just keep repeating
the 'all done. get down.' every time you take him out & he'll
catch on.
lee

I was just hoping on some other ideas other than this.
He's such a smart boy. I just wish he would learn this one.


Denise, Brian & Wyatt (May 31, 02)

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...
A true friend will be sitting next to you saying,
"Damn...that was fun!"

"Denise~*" wrote in message
...

I have a 26 MO & He has been communicating a little. He just started
saying Diaper when he needs a change. Even if just wet.

The one thing that drives us both nuts is when he grunts when he wants
down from his high chair after eating. We have been trying to teach
him "All done", but at the moment he shows no interest in saying it,
although I believe he might know what it means because he is pretty
smart.

We ask him many many times in a sing-y voice
"Are you finished, Are you all done?
"Saaay... All done"

Besides leaving him in his chair till he says it, does anybody have
some good ideas as to how to help him along with saying it?


Denise, Brian & Wyatt (May 31, 02)


This may sound goofy, but maybe he doesn't understand or want to say "All
done". Is this something you and your husband say at the end of a meal? I
found that most kids learn through modeling and mimicking. So, if I ask a
toddler if he's done at the end of a meal, and then I say something like
"I'm done with my meal" and then clean up the table on a regular basis,
eventually he says something that remotely sounds like "done" to signal the
end of his meal. Saying two words "all done" may just be beyond your son
for now.

At least that's the way it seems to be going with DS (but he's only 14
months old). At the end of a meal, we ask if he's done and if he wants to
get down. Lately, he been saying either "dow" or "done". I'm leaning toward
"dow" - he doesn't have an "N" sound yet.

Jeanne

"Denise~*" wrote in message

We ask him many many times in a sing-y voice
"Are you finished, Are you all done?
"Saaay... All done"


My son didn't speak at all until past 2.5years. I spoke to him constantly so
it was a bit frustrating for me too. Once he started to speak in
phrases/sentences, we were blown away. It was as if he was saving all the
advanced words until he was ready and they all came spilling out of him.

Instead of trying to get him to say "all done" can you get him to say
"down"? While pointing to the floor, say to him: "do you want to get DOWN?
Down? OK."

Since he's most likely indicating he wants to get down (rather than telling
you he's all done), you can lift him all the while saying "down now". I
think "done" is harder to say than "down" for a toddler.

On Thu, 29 Jul 2004 20:01:14 -0400, "Bruce Bridgman and Jeanne Yang"
wrote:

This may sound goofy, but maybe he doesn't understand or want to say "All
done". Is this something you and your husband say at the end of a meal? I
found that most kids learn through modeling and mimicking. So, if I ask a
toddler if he's done at the end of a meal, and then I say something like
"I'm done with my meal" and then clean up the table on a regular basis,
eventually he says something that remotely sounds like "done" to signal the
end of his meal. Saying two words "all done" may just be beyond your son
for now.

At least that's the way it seems to be going with DS (but he's only 14
months old). At the end of a meal, we ask if he's done and if he wants to
get down. Lately, he been saying either "dow" or "done". I'm leaning toward
"dow" - he doesn't have an "N" sound yet.

I have a feeling the want aspect might be a part of it, or maybe just
not knowing. Based on the responses I'm seeing, it looks like it will
be a while before he gets it.


Denise, Brian & Wyatt (May 31, 02)

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...
A true friend will be sitting next to you saying,
"Damn...that was fun!"

Denise~* wrote in :
[snip]
Yes, that was sarcasm.**I*have*a*friend*who*suggested*it*&*does* it
with her children.**A*couple*times*we*have*left*him*in*his* chair*for*a
while, but not for a long time.**Maybe*10-15*minutes*after*he*is
(visually) done eating just to see if he will say "all done" after us
asking him every few minutes if he is done.**He*never*says*it*so*take
him down, all the while telling him how to say "all done" and why.

just keep repeating
the 'all done. get down.' every time you take him out & he'll
catch on.
lee

I was just hoping on some other ideas other than this.
He's such a smart boy.**I*just*wish*he*would*learn*this*one.

If he has *never* said it, it probably hasn't clicked with him that it
is something you want him to say. He might be thinking it is what
*you* say when he is finished. This is especially true if he does not
often hear other children say "all done" at the end of the meal.

Your friends method would work once he has learnt to say the phrase.
However I think saying "all done" is a bit of a cute toddler trick, rather
then genuine politeness. Over here (UK), the polite way would be to say
"please may I get down", and if I was going to insist on them saying
anything it would be a version of that. If you insist on him saying
"all done" now, you will have to re-teach him to say the appropriate
phrase when he is older.

(I know a toddler saying "please may I get down" isn't genuine politeness
either, but it is modeling the appropriate phrase for when he is older.
A teenager saying "all done" and expecting to be excused would be seen as
incredibly rude.)

Does he have any gesture that means he has finished? Or does he seem
content to say there? What I did with my kids in similar situations
is I would say the phrase I wanted them to say, and then act as if
they had said it.

So the conversation might go-
Me: Oh, you've finished. What do we say when we have finished? Oh
yes, we say please may I get down.
Pause to gove kid a chance to say it.
Me, regardless of what they said: Certainly, you can get down.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

Denise~* wrote:

So far, he communicates with these words: Thank you, hot, juice,
water, milk, night-night, diaper, bath (I might be forgetting a few).

He can identify & say _many_ objects & body parts. I could start
listing them, but I know I'd leave some out. He really knows alot of
words.

Those are primarily concrete words/phrases he's using himself though, and I
don't think it's surprising that they're directly related to something that has
JUST happened (Thank you), something that's about to happen (night-night) or
something he wants (juice).

"All done" is more abstract -- it takes awhile to learn to read your body to
decide whether you're "all done". Even adults sometimes have that difficulty!
We may even be "all done" with actually eating and lingering over conversation.

I think the "down" suggestion that someone offered has better chance of success
-- it's a more concrete term that looks ahead to what he wants now rather than
trying to articulate a more vague concept.

And it has practical usage, too -- when he's being carried.

He understands many commands and sometimes suprises me at what he
actually will understand & do after being asked nicely.

Not surprising to me, though -- I've worked in our 2 YO Sunday school room for
several years. Babies/toddlers who don't have a lot of ability to articulate
soak up what they hear and see so much more than we adults often realize! I've
always thought taking the time to actually talk with 2s as people (i.e., asking
them nicely & "marketing" the desired action as one that's also desirable to
the toddler!) is much more likely to result in cooperation than simply framing
a command and setting up a battle of wills!

Lori G.
MIlwaukee, WI