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do people not like holding their babies?



 
 
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  #11  
Old September 9th 03, 05:27 AM
Dawn Lawson
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Default do people not like holding their babies?



Nevermind wrote:
You see these people for, what, 15 mins of their day, during which
time they are not holding their babies, and you assume they don't
*like* to hold their babies? This is one of those problems that you
need to remind yourself there's "not enough information" to figure
out.


I worked in a place where there were LOTS of babies and it was noticable
and shocking how MANY people would not take their babies out of the
carseat or stroller no matter what. To the point that we were known to
comment to those rare moms who DID take their babes out that it was nice
to see them respond to their infants.

20lbs isnt' that heavy, imo. I carry DS (19lb 11oz) in backpack or
sling for long long periods of time on walks, visits to events, etc. I
detest strollers from the point of view of the user AND the poor
unfortunate person trying to navigate AROUND one of those monstrous
blockages.

Given the number of items available to make picking up one's child less
"necessary" and the frequency with whch I see MANY of them in one house,
I have to assume the average parent spends very little time holding
their infant. Many places (homes)I've been, the parent has shuttled the
baby from carseat to bouncer to swing to playmat to crib and back, only
holding them long enough to transfer them.

Although the question may be "loaded" it certainly seems a valid
question if you look about and notice how very very few people really DO
hold their infants/children for any appreciable length of time. and
really, those that reply that they use a stroller or seat say they do so
because they do NOT like holding their baby during a meal or to go for
walks, or whatever. (Not to say they don't like their baby)

Dawn

  #12  
Old September 9th 03, 08:25 AM
Anne Rogers
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Default do people not like holding their babies?

You see these people for, what, 15 mins of their day, during which
time they are not holding their babies, and you assume they don't
*like* to hold their babies? This is one of those problems that you
need to remind yourself there's "not enough information" to figure
out.


oh dear, I didn't mean to open a can of worms, or criticise these people,
of course I have no idea what these people are like the rest of the day,
it just struck me later that it was odd and I shared it, people did
eventually pick their babies up when they got unhappy, but it made me
think, did I prevent my son from being unhappy by letting him look around
and see the surroundings yet be safe in my arms, just a thought...

at home he does get put down, we have a bouncy chair and he goes in that
whilst I do chores etc. chatting to him whilst I do it, inventing games to
play whilst folding washing etc. I love taking him out places where I can
sit him on my knee and play/let him be sociable. But I do use a stroller,
when walking is required, I like to use a carrier/sling, but I have a bad
back and if I know I'm going to be buying anything the stroller makes an
excellent trolley.

  #13  
Old September 9th 03, 11:59 AM
Jacqui
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Default do people not like holding their babies?

Dawn Lawson wibbled

Although the question may be "loaded" it certainly seems a valid
question if you look about and notice how very very few people
really DO hold their infants/children for any appreciable length
of time. and really, those that reply that they use a stroller or
seat say they do so because they do NOT like holding their baby
during a meal or to go for walks, or whatever. (Not to say they
don't like their baby)


I don't like holding the baby during some meals. I am clumsy and the
prospect of dropping hot melted cheese on him, for instance, is
unpleasantly likely. Babies burn more easily than adults.

I'll happily hold him during a cold meal, or something I'm not likely
to spill, and for great chunks of the day otherwise (he's on my lap
right now) but I will not have him on my lap in a restaurant (ever had
a waiter drop a hot meal in your lap? I have) or during certain meals
at home. If he needs to be picked up, my meal can always be reheated,
but I'm not risking burning him just because putting him in the bouncy
chair might be seen as 'unattached'.

Jac
  #14  
Old September 9th 03, 02:07 PM
Sue
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Default do people not like holding their babies?

Anonymommmy wrote in message
What DH and I think is strange is "very old" children, like maybe 5
years old or older, in strollers. It seems as if maybe people don't
want to have to deal with the 5-year-old's free will so they confine
the child in the stroller for the parent's convenience. Does this
seem weird to anyone else? What do people who have (or have had) a
preschooler/school age child think about this?


Uh, perhaps the child is tired of walking and they are in the stroller for a
break. Even though children are able to walk, they do get tired and very
quickly. Especially at the zoo or an amusement park. Having a place that
they can rest for a bit is probably what these older children are doing. We
usually use a wagon when we will be walking for long periods of time, but
for the most part I don't think it is weird to see a bigger child in a
stroller.
--
Sue
mom to three girls


  #15  
Old September 9th 03, 03:09 PM
Bruce and Jeanne
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Default do people not like holding their babies?

Anonymommmy wrote:

What DH and I think is strange is "very old" children, like maybe 5
years old or older, in strollers. It seems as if maybe people don't
want to have to deal with the 5-year-old's free will so they confine
the child in the stroller for the parent's convenience. Does this
seem weird to anyone else? What do people who have (or have had) a
preschooler/school age child think about this?


Sure it may seem weird but I'd rather seem weird to a stranger than
carry my 45 lb (or more) child for an half hour or so and kill my back.

Jeanne


  #16  
Old September 9th 03, 03:21 PM
Anne Rogers
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Default do people not like holding their babies?

I didn't think I was an attachment parent, but now I'm
probably thinking compared to average I am, he's sociable cos people
socialise with him!


What about all the other kids that are sociable too, but have spent time in
a carseat or stroller?


there's a flaw in every theory

  #17  
Old September 9th 03, 03:28 PM
Nikki
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Default do people not like holding their babies?

Anonymommmy wrote:

What DH and I think is strange is "very old" children, like maybe 5
years old or older, in strollers. It seems as if maybe people don't
want to have to deal with the 5-year-old's free will so they confine
the child in the stroller for the parent's convenience. Does this
seem weird to anyone else? What do people who have (or have had) a
preschooler/school age child think about this?


IME children want to walk and be free of the stroller up through the age of
two. Then they suddenly get very tired and want to be carried everywhere
again ;-) Not easy so a stroller works nicely for the pokey or tired older
child, especially if the trip requires a lot of walking.

I don't know if I live in a weird place or if other people do but I just do
not see babies left to cry in car seats, I don't see kids in strollers when
they don't want to be, I've never had a negative comment when breastfeeding
in public. If a child is happy then I don't see a problem. Lots of babies
*prefer* sitting in a carseat or stroller versus being juggled around in
mothers arms.

My first was in my arms 24/7. Not even dad would do. I carried him
constantly at home and when we were out. He cried in the car seat during
the ride, he cried at home if I sat him down for 10 seconds. So when I had
number two I carried him (without a car seat) when we were out. He was such
a crab when we were out. I finally got a car seat because he fell asleep in
the car and I hated to wake him up each time we got out of the car and it
was hard to help Hunter and hold a floppy newborn that I couldn't set
anywhere. Low and behold, he was a much happier camper when he was left in
peice rather then be fussed with and get hot in my arms.

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)


  #18  
Old September 9th 03, 04:28 PM
Nevermind
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Default do people not like holding their babies?

Dawn Lawson wrote in message ...
Nevermind wrote:
You see these people for, what, 15 mins of their day, during which
time they are not holding their babies, and you assume they don't
*like* to hold their babies? This is one of those problems that you
need to remind yourself there's "not enough information" to figure
out.


20lbs isnt' that heavy, imo. I carry DS (19lb 11oz) in backpack or
sling for long long periods of time on walks, visits to events, etc.


It isn't too heavy for a sling, which I also use, but it is heavy *for
me* when I am simply holding her. I don't find slings to be very
convenient for a lot of times. Now that my baby is older and is amused
by just being out, I only use it when a stroller would be a PITA or
when all I'm doing is walking, not for when I'm walking while needing
to do stuff, e.g., shopping.
I
detest strollers from the point of view of the user


Do you mean the parent or the child? If the former, why detest it for
them -- they wouldn't use it if they didn't want to. If the latter,
why? Some babies are not happy in strollers, but many clearly are. Do
you object to happy babies in strollers? Why?!

Let's not pretend that babies in slings are never cranky or that if
you're out doing stuff with your baby in a sling and she starts
crying, you are always able to make her happy immediately. I take ALL
my baby's cries seriously, but not all crying can be avoided. If I
made that my rule #1, the house and my older kids' lives would fall
apart. Remember that a baby crying is not like an adult crying. I only
cry when really really upet, whereas babies cry for the equivalent of
"I think I'll have a glass of water now." Not every cry is an
emergency, nor should it be treated like one. Please do not attempt to
twist this into me being hard-hearted about babies crying. I'm not. I
just try to keep it in perspective.

AND the poor
unfortunate person trying to navigate AROUND one of those monstrous
blockages.


Whatever. You sound like a CFer with that.

Given the number of items available to make picking up one's child less
"necessary" and the frequency with whch I see MANY of them in one house,
I have to assume the average parent spends very little time holding
their infant. Many places (homes)I've been, the parent has shuttled the
baby from carseat to bouncer to swing to playmat to crib and back, only
holding them long enough to transfer them.


Are these parents busy with something else when you're there? I tend
to assume militant APers are "persons of leisure" who can stand or sit
around holding babies all day long. I am most definitely not. I cook
our meals; I help 2 older kids with homework and guitar practice and
stuff in general; I attend soccer practices and other events not
baby-focused; I do this-and-that to keep the house running; and I
gasp! work, albeit at home. I do have a babysitter 6 hours a week
and do the rest of the bulk of my work at night when the kiddies are
abed, but I occasionally need to answer e-mail or look something up or
whatever while the baby is awake.

Although the question may be "loaded" it certainly seems a valid
question if you look about and notice how very very few people really DO
hold their infants/children for any appreciable length of time.


Oh, please -- how could you possibly know that this is true?

and
really, those that reply that they use a stroller or seat say they do so
because they do NOT like holding their baby during a meal or to go for
walks, or whatever. (Not to say they don't like their baby)


Who on earth would hold a baby during a meal if she didn't have to
(that is, if the baby was happy in a chair)? My DH and I often have
to hold our baby during dinner, but it makes eating very hard. She's
constantly grabbing at the plates and the forks. If we feed her in our
arms, we get very dirty, making yet more laundry in a busy household.

The ultimate question is, if a baby is happy in a stroller, why
shouldn't she be there?
  #19  
Old September 9th 03, 04:57 PM
Irrational Number
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Default do people not like holding their babies?

Dawn Lawson wrote:

[...] Many places (homes)I've been, the parent has shuttled the
baby from carseat to bouncer to swing to playmat to crib and back, only
holding them long enough to transfer them.


We have all those things and more! And, they're
used a LOT when I have company. I put Pillbug in
his bouncy seat or swing so that I can pour drinks
for my guests or set out dinner.

Although the question may be "loaded" it certainly seems a valid
question if you look about and notice how very very few people really DO
hold their infants/children for any appreciable length of time. and
really, those that reply that they use a stroller or seat say they do so
because they do NOT like holding their baby during a meal or to go for
walks, or whatever. (Not to say they don't like their baby)


I don't hold my baby during my meals! Gosh,
my baby is my whole life, but I still want
to be able to cut my meat and drink and talk
to my husband. Pillbug is in his bouncer at
my feet and is included in the conversation,
but he's not in my arms! That doesn't mean
I don't like to hold him.

-- Anita --
Mommy to Pillbug, almost 3 months

--
SUCCESS FOUR FLIGHTS THURSDAY MORNING ALL AGAINST
TWENTY ONE MILE WIND STARTED FROM LEVEL WITH ENGINE
POWER ALONE AVERAGE SPEED THROUGH AIR THIRTY ONE
MILES LONGEST 57 SECONDS INFORM PRESS HOME CHRISTMAS.

  #20  
Old September 9th 03, 05:07 PM
teapot
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Default do people not like holding their babies?

Anne Rogers wrote in message ...
I took ds for jabs today, our surgery has a baby clinic for an hour on a
Monday so the waiting room was full of babies. It didn't occur to me til I
came home that I was the only one actually holding my baby, everyone else
came in with them in a buggy, or a car seat, I'd driven, so when I'd
parked I took him out of the seat, so much easier than unbuckling it and
it's much easier to carry a baby than a huge plastic bucket. In the
waiting room no one picked up their babies til they cried, mine never
cried, he sat on my lap, played with me smiled at the nurses, took
interest in his surroundings and generally got admired by everyone for
being sociable. I didn't think I was an attachment parent, but now I'm
probably thinking compared to average I am, he's sociable cos people
socialise with him!

one of the few times moo is asleep and restful is in his pushchair,

so I leave him in there if he is happy. most of the time ( including
right this minute) he wont be put down so any chance of a break i get
i grab it.

its taken us some time to realise that he actually likes to be left
alone sometimes though, and will yell until that happens. i wish hed
make his mind up :-)

teapot and 3 month moo
 




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