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3 Year old CopyCats and SmartMouths



 
 
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  #1  
Old June 16th 05, 04:56 PM
DramaNut
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Default 3 Year old CopyCats and SmartMouths

Hi,
I am in a position where I have a 3 year old son, who thinks that
copying everything I say is fun. Sometimes it is funny. Sometimes it
is not. For instance, I say "Pick up the Crayons" he says "YOu pick up
the crayons", and proceeds to laugh.
He doesn't listen when i ask him to do stuff, he thinks its funny to
just tell me to do it.
I usually have to say, ok, no tv, or no dvds, until he will get
going, but sometimes that doesn't always work. I was wondering if
anyone has had the same thing (where your kid gives you lip like that).

Also, anyone else hate daycares where kids learn to say "You're
stupid mommy" or "I hate you mommy"? My kid learned that too. LOL he
should never have learned to talk, coz all I get is copying or ordering
around.
I have never had another person to help with him (his father left
when i was preggo), and I'm finding it really difficult to figure out
this discipline thing now that he isn't a baby anymore.

Anyone can help?
Crystal

  #2  
Old June 16th 05, 05:27 PM
twb
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"DramaNut" wrote in message
oups.com...
Hi,
I am in a position where I have a 3 year old son, who thinks that
copying everything I say is fun. Sometimes it is funny. Sometimes it
is not. For instance, I say "Pick up the Crayons" he says "YOu pick up
the crayons", and proceeds to laugh.
He doesn't listen when i ask him to do stuff, he thinks its funny to
just tell me to do it.



Put him in his room/playpen for 5 minutes everytime he doesn't listen to
you. When you go get him, explain to him that you don't like it when he does
it, and that you'll keep repeating untill he cuts it out.

First day *J* spent the better part of the day in and out of the playpen (
toy less playpen i might add ) and was ignored whenever he was put in the
playpen. I'm not fond of leaving kids in there rooms for hours especially at
that age, but a few minutes at a time might do the trick.

Just make sure he knows what he's doing in there or it's kinda pointless


  #3  
Old June 16th 05, 06:36 PM
xkatx
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"DramaNut" wrote in message
oups.com...
Hi,
I am in a position where I have a 3 year old son, who thinks that
copying everything I say is fun. Sometimes it is funny. Sometimes it
is not. For instance, I say "Pick up the Crayons" he says "YOu pick up
the crayons", and proceeds to laugh.
He doesn't listen when i ask him to do stuff, he thinks its funny to
just tell me to do it.
I usually have to say, ok, no tv, or no dvds, until he will get
going, but sometimes that doesn't always work. I was wondering if
anyone has had the same thing (where your kid gives you lip like that).

Also, anyone else hate daycares where kids learn to say "You're
stupid mommy" or "I hate you mommy"? My kid learned that too. LOL he
should never have learned to talk, coz all I get is copying or ordering
around.
I have never had another person to help with him (his father left
when i was preggo), and I'm finding it really difficult to figure out
this discipline thing now that he isn't a baby anymore.

Anyone can help?
Crystal


I have a mouthy, lippy, stubborn 4.5 year old son... Seems somewhat similar
to what you're dealing with when it comes to your son. I seem to have had
nothing but problems, and one of the major things lately is his toys. He
too does the, "No! You put toys away!" type thing, and only just recently,
I've found a way that seems to work for me to deal with it.
With your problem, and the example, the crayons. Crayons all over the
place, and I say calmly and nicely, "Alright, it's time to put the crayons
away nicely." He replies with, "You put them away!" I then respond simply
with, "You need to put your crayons away now, or you will not be able to
color with them next time." If he still refuses to put them away, we now
have his foam chair set up in the corner, facing the room and not the
corner, that he then gets to sit in for 4-5 minutes. (It was suggested to
me by quite a few that you do minutes per years of age) The 4-5 minutes
start when bum is on the chair, and yelling, shouting, crying, screaming,
talking stops. After those 4 or 5 minutes, I then ask him once more to put
the crayons away. If he then still refuses, I do it myself. I also tell
him before the last chance to pick them up comes that if I must pick them
up, they will be put away and be gone and mine for X amount of time/days -
usually 2-4 days, depending on what the item is, how he acted, etc. I then
pick up the mess, and I have a little Rubbermaid tote box that I put stuff
in, carry it up to my room and lock it in my hope chest.

I do this with toys, movies, blankets and all that kind of stuff that is
simple and easy for him to pick up on his own, and items that he should be
picking up on his own.
If it's a huge mess and big items, I will offer to help him pick things up -
I usually make a deal where you pick one toy up, I pick one up, you pick one
up, I pick one up - until everything is picked up and put back where it
belongs.

I've also been making a point to enforce that nothing new will be taken out,
or nothing else will be done until what I have asked to be done is actually
done properly. (Ie, no trucks out until the crayons are picked up and put
away) This, so far, seems to be working for me. Can't say if it will work
for you or not, but it might be worth a try. It took me a good week or two
for him to truly believe and see I was serious about cleaning up his mess,
but now it's rare for it to get to the point of sitting alone in the corner
on his chair. It did take me time, and patience, which is something I have
such a limited amount of! But now things have been easier to deal with,
since he knows damn well I will take those toys away and they will be gone
for a few days (which can seem like forever to a small child at times)

Also, with the daycare, I had some major issues as well. Put B in a daycare
down the block from our house, and I was far from impressed by the staff and
daycare in general. The one good thing gained from that particular daycare
was that he potty trained in about a week! When he saw the other older kids
using the potty, he did too. I also found he came home telling me he hated
me. It really didn't bother me so much, since I wasn't even sure if he knew
exactly what it means. It was always out of his anger, if I did something
he didn't like, or said something he didn't like. It was always, "I hate
you!" and even to this day, after he's been out of that daycare for well
over a year, almost 2 years now, I guess, he still pulls that off. When he
tells me he hates me, I simply say, "That's nice. I still love you." and
then he just sits there and fumes over what the original issue was that made
him angry. Every time he says it, I reply with the same thing. If he
continues to say it, or says he hates someone else, then I simply say, "You
know, that's not a very nice thing to say. It hurts peoples' feelings when
you say you hate them because they love you." After that ****es him off for
a moment, he then says that he doesn't hate *insert name of person here* and
that he's sorry he said it.
I just found that when he says he hates me, the easiest and simplest thing
to tell him is that I love him anyways.

--
A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?
A: Top-posting.
Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet?


  #4  
Old June 17th 05, 03:16 AM
xkatx
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"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On 16 Jun 2005 08:56:55 -0700, "DramaNut" the
following was posted in blue dry erase marker:

Hi,
I am in a position where I have a 3 year old son, who thinks that
copying everything I say is fun. Sometimes it is funny. Sometimes it
is not. For instance, I say "Pick up the Crayons" he says "YOu pick up
the crayons", and proceeds to laugh.


Repeat that it's time to pick the crayons and that if you pick them up,
they will be put away in the trash because that's the new rule. Then
ask, "Are you sure you want me to pick them up?" and if he says yes or
mimics me again, I'd pick them up and throw them away. Period. The
next time, I'd say, "Remember the new rule? If I have to pick your toys
up, I will throw them away." Eventually, he'll catch on. If you're
unwilling to throw them away, then you'll probably have to punish using
a time out. In the meanwhile, if you catch him doing something good on
his own, make a bit of a deal about it... moreso than the punishment if
he does something wrong. He has to want to please you by doing the
right thing and not learn to earn attention (the bad kind) by doing bad
things. Are you spending enough time with him as a little person doing
what he likes to do? What does he like to do? Can you use that as an
incentive to get him to do what he's supposed to do first?

He doesn't listen when i ask him to do stuff, he thinks its funny to
just tell me to do it.
I usually have to say, ok, no tv, or no dvds, until he will get
going, but sometimes that doesn't always work. I was wondering if
anyone has had the same thing (where your kid gives you lip like that).


If they did it, it was only that one time. I still have toys in the
attic that one kid or the other did not want to pick up... (my kiddos
are 15, 17 on Sunday, and 26 on Wednesday).. but I'm a pack rat.

Also, anyone else hate daycares where kids learn to say "You're
stupid mommy" or "I hate you mommy"? My kid learned that too. LOL he
should never have learned to talk, coz all I get is copying or ordering
around.


Either you gain control now or you're going to have a 16 year old kid
who does whatever he pleases.

I have never had another person to help with him (his father left
when i was preggo), and I'm finding it really difficult to figure out
this discipline thing now that he isn't a baby anymore.


Simple.. don't allow anything that you don't want him to repeat 5,000
times in a car on a long trip. It's up to you to encourage good habits
early on so that his life, as an adult and future husband and father, is
an easy one.

Anyone can help?
Crystal


I dunno. How'd I do? Does that seem like something you can do? Have you
tried a reward system before? Time outs? Punishment?

'Kate
P.S. xkatx I liked your response too... pretty much what I said (just
read it)... and you have far more recent experience. :-) Hope you're
doing ok.


Oh yes, Kate... I read all you said, and it's pretty much the same basic
idea of losing/gaining/respecting/whatever.
I have no real recent experience, as it's an ongoing experience to deal
with! I've come to realize and see that it's not just mine that's a brat...
They're all like this, one way or another, at around this age, which makes
me feel better.
I've been doing alright... I've been trying to manage with whatever I can.
I find I'm getting grumpier and grumpier with every day that passes, and my
patience runs out REAL quick, which is why I had to start with something to
show that I won't put up with bull****! I can no longer fight with him,
and temper tantrums, screaming and kicking are absolutely not allowed. Bad
behavior in public is me dragging him out to the car, or away from the rest
of the world,.since I really can't just pick him up and carry him anymore,
and if he's kicking, that makes it even more impossible to just pick him up.
I just keep telling myself only 5 or so more weeks to go. I think I can
manage, although there's something fat and hard right up in my left side of
my ribs any time I sit, and some major deformities and mutations going on
everywhere else. Ooh... How I CAN'T wait! My back is killing me!

--
A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?
A: Top-posting.
Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet?


  #5  
Old June 17th 05, 03:42 AM
xkatx
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"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 17 Jun 2005 02:16:16 GMT, "xkatx" the
following was posted in blue dry erase marker:


Oh yes, Kate... I read all you said, and it's pretty much the same basic
idea of losing/gaining/respecting/whatever.


Yeah.. kids haven't really changed in the last 25 years, have they? :-)


No, because I remember around the 5 or so mark when I was losing toys as
well, which was less than 25 years ago!

I have no real recent experience, as it's an ongoing experience to deal
with! I've come to realize and see that it's not just mine that's a
brat...
They're all like this, one way or another, at around this age, which makes
me feel better.


Yeah. It's either the terrible two's or the horrid threes. I don't
think we escape the brunt of their learning.


Definitely not. What name do they apply to ages 4 and 5??? lol

I've been doing alright... I've been trying to manage with whatever I can.
I find I'm getting grumpier and grumpier with every day that passes, and
my
patience runs out REAL quick, which is why I had to start with something
to
show that I won't put up with bull****! I can no longer fight with
him,
and temper tantrums, screaming and kicking are absolutely not allowed.
Bad
behavior in public is me dragging him out to the car, or away from the
rest
of the world,.since I really can't just pick him up and carry him anymore,
and if he's kicking, that makes it even more impossible to just pick him
up.
I just keep telling myself only 5 or so more weeks to go. I think I can
manage, although there's something fat and hard right up in my left side
of
my ribs any time I sit, and some major deformities and mutations going on
everywhere else. Ooh... How I CAN'T wait! My back is killing me!


Oh ouch... I feel forya kiddo. The last month is a bear. Hang in
there. I'm glad everything's ok with you and the baby... and it'll be
over soon.


Oooh... Not soon enough... I miss being able to see my belly button... And
I miss being capable of putting on my own socks, but I'm glad it's nice and
warm out so I can just wear flip flops that I can easily put on! No tying
shoes or boots for me. If I can't slip them on, they stay in the closet and
out of sight
I think the baby's alright... OB said that everything's alright. I had
questions about the heartrate on Tuesday, since I was told it was 130bpm,
but 2 weeks earlier, the heartrate was at 151bpm... I asked if that was
normal, and the doc kind of just shrugged it off and said it was fine... So
I guess it is.
This thing has a fat, hard head shoved right in my ribs. That's what's
driving me mad. And that it insists on dancing on my bladder quite often.
That's another thing I can't wait to end!

'Kate




  #6  
Old June 17th 05, 05:53 AM
Cele
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On Fri, 17 Jun 2005 02:42:14 GMT, "xkatx"
wrote:


Yeah. It's either the terrible two's or the horrid threes. I don't
think we escape the brunt of their learning.


No kidding. Fours....I remember the fours as truly gruesome. Both of
mine were pretty good at two and three, but four was hell.

Definitely not. What name do they apply to ages 4 and 5??? lol


Frightful fours, I called 'em.

This thing has a fat, hard head shoved right in my ribs. That's what's
driving me mad. And that it insists on dancing on my bladder quite often.
That's another thing I can't wait to end!


Ah, yes. T was a footling breech, for which reason, I had a booked
caesarian. They tried turning her, but, well, I've tried turning her a
few times since, in various ways, and it's just not on. That's one
focused kid! Focused on a good day; stubborn, when I've had enough.
LOL It's probably got her where she is today, though.

Anyway, moving right along. T had a foot planted right on top of my
bladder, and her head up under my ribs. Felt like my chest was gonna
explode, and every time she moved even slightly, WHAM! I was off and
running to the nearest facility. I feel for ya too, kiddo....oh, how I
feel for you.

Hang in there xkatx. It'll be over soon. By the time you have your
baby, I'll be in Wales, and we'll both be out of our misery.....

[g]

Cele

PS: We're going to a wedding in Whitehorse in August. You & CME gonna
be around the third week in August? We're tossing around the idea of
driving out via Alberta.....

C
  #7  
Old June 17th 05, 03:49 PM
xkatx
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"Cele" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 17 Jun 2005 02:42:14 GMT, "xkatx"
wrote:


Yeah. It's either the terrible two's or the horrid threes. I don't
think we escape the brunt of their learning.


No kidding. Fours....I remember the fours as truly gruesome. Both of
mine were pretty good at two and three, but four was hell.

Definitely not. What name do they apply to ages 4 and 5??? lol


Frightful fours, I called 'em.


I'd like to add a 4-letter ('F'-word)+ing to that Frightful fours... Just
seems a bit more suitable, if you wouldn't mind.

This thing has a fat, hard head shoved right in my ribs. That's what's
driving me mad. And that it insists on dancing on my bladder quite often.
That's another thing I can't wait to end!


Ah, yes. T was a footling breech, for which reason, I had a booked
caesarian. They tried turning her, but, well, I've tried turning her a
few times since, in various ways, and it's just not on. That's one
focused kid! Focused on a good day; stubborn, when I've had enough.
LOL It's probably got her where she is today, though.


Zach was the same way, but my OB didn't know it. It was a big surprise
followed very quickly with an emergency c-section, with a lot of morphine
right after. I like morphine. lol Luckily Bran turned himself around
at 33 weeks. Something about my uterus being a funky shape where it can't
turn around one way or another come the ending, and it also makes for being
turned around nearly impossible, so whatever way it ends up being towards
the last month or so, that's the way it's supposed to stay - according to my
doc.

Anyway, moving right along. T had a foot planted right on top of my
bladder, and her head up under my ribs. Felt like my chest was gonna
explode, and every time she moved even slightly, WHAM! I was off and
running to the nearest facility. I feel for ya too, kiddo....oh, how I
feel for you.


This one, however, I am positive its head is shoved nicely up my ribs and,
like you said, with a foot nicely on my bladder. I know the feeling of a
run-waddle to the closest washroom. I now sleep with a 'pee-pee pad' under
me in bed - just in case! My friend works for a lady as like a home support
worker, and when her boss orders the diapers for one of the girls, I
believe, she gets these hospital pad things. The boss doesn't use them and
gave them to my friend, since she's about 6 weeks behind me. There's been
many times I've run up the stairs trying to make it to the washroom!

Hang in there xkatx. It'll be over soon. By the time you have your
baby, I'll be in Wales, and we'll both be out of our misery.....

[g]


Oooh... That would be nice. I'd like to be in Wales right now, or,
actually, anywhere... Going sale shopping at Old Navy today with above
friend at the mall. That could be a nice change!

Cele

PS: We're going to a wedding in Whitehorse in August. You & CME gonna
be around the third week in August? We're tossing around the idea of
driving out via Alberta.....

C


Oh you should! The lovely dead landscape Alberta offers is great to drive
through! Can't say for CME, but where else would I be with a cranky newborn
and obnoxious 4 year old?? LOL


  #8  
Old June 18th 05, 08:20 PM
jembieram
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Posts: n/a
Default

I think I have been so lucky with my 2 that I am going to suffer the worst
Teenage years!!! LOL Plus the fact that myself and my 2 sisters were
terrible teens too.

With my 2 when they were little, I just had to start counting to 3 I only
ever barely got to 2 before they had done whatever it was I told them. God
knows what I would ever have done if I did get to 3
--

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't ever stop believing........
Never get tired of watching you, someday you will break through.....

http://www.cafepress.com/jembie,jemb...my,1inamillion


  #9  
Old June 18th 05, 09:45 PM
DramaNut
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I've tried the time outs, but it only worked so far, it got to point
where I was literally holding him in his time out chair for the whole
time, and I was so scared of hurting him the way he was fighting me. I
don't understand, at daycare apparently they all say he's the best
behaved out of the kids in his room. Sometimes when he has a huge
temper tantrum I take him up to my bedroom (no toys) and he has to stay
on my bed (that way he doesn't associate his bed with being in
trouble).... Sometimes it works, but I do get tired of the "no you do
it's".

Generally he is a good kid, but it gets sooo frustrating!

Thanks for your suggestions

Crystal

  #10  
Old June 19th 05, 02:12 PM
jembieram
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NOooo! Not a counter! My mother was a counter. I have math anxiety.
Coincidence? I think not. :-)

'Kate


LOL I think it actually helped my 2 as they are both in accelerated learning
groups for Maths

--

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't ever stop believing........
Never get tired of watching you, someday you will break through.....


 




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