? About Potty training at an older age and school issues

Hello,

With Thanksgiving being yesterday, somehow the BIG TOPIC of the day among
all our relatives was why our 3.5 yr old daughter isn't potty trained, and
my what a travesty it is that we are such lazy parents, how she "runs the
show" in our house, and boy, aren't we going to have fun with her when she
is 15. Blah, blah blah... My and DH's response to all this is simply
"MYOB, she'll use the potty when she feels like it." Another comment we
tend to throw out is that, "Nobody graduates highschool in diapers."

However, we did get some mouthy relations asking us, "well, just how long DO
you intend to change her diapers? 3rd grade, 6th grade, 9th grade?" Among
our circle of contacts, I've never heard of any child older than 5 requiring
day diapers (I have a few friends of 2nd/3rd graders that still wear night
diapers). If I have to change her diapers til she's 5 or 6, I don't care.
The only concern I have is that her future public elementary school won't
change her diapers in kindergarten, so she may not be able to start that
school with her friends, but would hopefully be able to join them in 1st or
2nd grade...

It's never occurred to us that we may be changing diapers for a child older
than 6, but I'd thought I'd ask if that has been anyone's experience, and if
so, how did you handle the school situation? I know of several private
Pre-K programs and even one 1st-3rd grade program that will change diapers
(it is rather expensive, unfortunately), but no programs for 4th grade and
up that will change diapers. My assumption is that by 4th grade, non PT
kids are pretty unheard of (kids without physical/mental challenges, let me
clarify).

Thanks for your replies,
Chris