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Raising boys



 
 
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  #1  
Old April 27th 08, 06:52 AM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
Areba
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Posts: 14
Default Raising boys

Hi everyone

The most common question I get asked while pregnant..

Is it a boy or girl..

We simply don't know..but I do daydream about it often. What could it be????

However, as much as I will be over the moon and thrilled at whatever sex
the baby is, there is that tiny bit of apprehension I have if its a boy.

I am one of 5 girls
Most of my girlfriends have daughters
I do have 1 nephew close to me
I am bombarded with women in my life
The Estrogen levels defiantly out numbers the testosterone levels around me.
I understand the mental makeup of girls much more than boys

and although I love the men in my life as much as the women, I often
think...will it be easy to naturally gravitate without effort towards my
baby if my baby is a boy.

I have no idea about raising a boy. Is this a common apprehension, or am
I just thinking hot air and any apprehension I have now will disappear
the moment I see my son for the first time..if its a boy..

Now, all four of my sisters are pregnant also. All four are having
boys..none of my sisters have any apprehension at all and are fully
confident that they can raise a boy.

Basically I am a little scared that I am going to ****up somehow. My
husband on the other could care less.. he is ready to rock and roll
fully confident what ever the sex is. What gives me great comfort is,
that seeing my husband is male..he knows instinctively about boys and
comes from a long line of boys himself.

Its not something I am stressing over. I know that I will enjoy been a
mother to bits and give just as many hugs and kisses no matter what..
But the thoughts are there..niggling ones..

Anyone else felt anything similar?

Areaba..
  #2  
Old April 27th 08, 07:51 AM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
NL
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 444
Default Raising boys

Areba schrieb:
Hi everyone

The most common question I get asked while pregnant..

Is it a boy or girl..

We simply don't know..but I do daydream about it often. What could it
be????

However, as much as I will be over the moon and thrilled at whatever sex
the baby is, there is that tiny bit of apprehension I have if its a boy.

snip
Anyone else felt anything similar?


*lol* yeah. I remember sitting on a bus with my big belly way back when
I was pregnant with Sam thinking "How the hell do I teach you stuff?! I
don't know what boys do.." but you know when they're babies they don't
do "gender specific" things and later they'll let you know what toys
they like and which they don't. And I haven't met a boy yet who won't
stop dead in his tracks when he sees construction going on while most
girls could care less.
You'll be fine. It's just a kid, nothing to be afraid of ;-)

cu
nicole
  #3  
Old April 27th 08, 12:31 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
Sarah Vaughan
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 443
Default Raising boys

Areba wrote:
[...]
I have no idea about raising a boy. Is this a common apprehension, or am
I just thinking hot air and any apprehension I have now will disappear
the moment I see my son for the first time..if its a boy..

[...]
Its not something I am stressing over. I know that I will enjoy been a
mother to bits and give just as many hugs and kisses no matter what..
But the thoughts are there..niggling ones..

Anyone else felt anything similar?


I've read that it's really common for women to feel this way about the
prospect of having a boy - a feeling of "Oh, my goodness, what do I do
with a boy?" So you're certainly not alone.

I had the same feeling that I knew much more about girls, and I always
somehow expected to have a girl. So I was surprised when the scan in my
first pregnancy showed a boy. But I saw that as a positive thing.
Children don't turn out the way you've imagined they will - they grow
into their own little people who surprise you with who they turn out to
be. My feeling was that it was a good thing that the baby was a boy, so
that I could get used to that feeling of unexpectedness, of dealing with
the child I had rather than the child I imagined, right from the start. ;-)

BTW, one thing I would say (in general terms, not just with regard to
the whole boy vs. girl thing) is not to have any expectations about
anything amazing happening the moment you see your son for the first
time. People talk about this amazing surge of love that changes your
whole life, and for some women it is like that, but for other women that
feeling comes on later and more gradually. I know that when I first saw
my babies my feelings were more along the lines of "Bloody hell, a baby.
Great, does that mean that's over?" I was mostly just relieved to
have got through labour successfully. I really doubt that I love my
children now any less than a woman who fell in love with hers from the
start! So, don't expect that it's automatically going to be a Hallmark
or slushy novel moment - it may be, but it may not be, and it's fine
either way.


All the best,

Sarah
--
http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com


--
http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com

"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell

  #4  
Old April 27th 08, 04:27 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
lu-lu
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 113
Default Raising boys


"Areba" wrote in message
...
Hi everyone

The most common question I get asked while pregnant..

Is it a boy or girl..

We simply don't know..but I do daydream about it often. What could it

be????

However, as much as I will be over the moon and thrilled at whatever sex
the baby is, there is that tiny bit of apprehension I have if its a boy.

I am one of 5 girls
Most of my girlfriends have daughters
I do have 1 nephew close to me
I am bombarded with women in my life
The Estrogen levels defiantly out numbers the testosterone levels around

me.
I understand the mental makeup of girls much more than boys

and although I love the men in my life as much as the women, I often
think...will it be easy to naturally gravitate without effort towards my
baby if my baby is a boy.

I have no idea about raising a boy. Is this a common apprehension, or am
I just thinking hot air and any apprehension I have now will disappear
the moment I see my son for the first time..if its a boy..

Now, all four of my sisters are pregnant also. All four are having
boys..none of my sisters have any apprehension at all and are fully
confident that they can raise a boy.

Basically I am a little scared that I am going to ****up somehow. My
husband on the other could care less.. he is ready to rock and roll
fully confident what ever the sex is. What gives me great comfort is,
that seeing my husband is male..he knows instinctively about boys and
comes from a long line of boys himself.

Its not something I am stressing over. I know that I will enjoy been a
mother to bits and give just as many hugs and kisses no matter what..
But the thoughts are there..niggling ones..

Anyone else felt anything similar?

Areaba..


Heh yeah, I'm going through it now I'm expecting baby #2, and I don't
know the sex yet. When I was expecting my daughter, it never occured to me
to be worried, even before I knew what I was having. A little while ago, I
was changing my friend's baby boy, and suddenly realised it's all different
down there! This time round, I'm suddenly anxious about what we're having
this time, and how else it'd be different to having a girl. I'm sure it'll
be fine,and once I know the sex, I'm sure I'll sort my confidence. But wow,
yeah, it's scary this time!

Lucy x


  #5  
Old April 27th 08, 09:38 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
Ericka Kammerer
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,293
Default Raising boys

Areba wrote:

I have no idea about raising a boy. Is this a common apprehension, or am
I just thinking hot air and any apprehension I have now will disappear
the moment I see my son for the first time..if its a boy..


I think this is a common worry. I don't think it will totally
disappear the moment you see your son for the first time, but you will
quickly realize that you are parenting an individual child whom you
know better than anyone else, and not some generic "girl" or "boy."
You may well find that you have some challenging adjustments to
make along the way, but you'd find that with any child. I grew up
with girls and found some significant adjustments living with two
boys...but I've also had to make significant adjustments to expectations
with my daughter.

Now, all four of my sisters are pregnant also. All four are having
boys..none of my sisters have any apprehension at all and are fully
confident that they can raise a boy.


Or perhaps they're just not expressing any concerns, or
perhaps they have other concerns that overshadow concerns about
gender.

Basically I am a little scared...My
husband on the other could care less.. he is ready to rock and roll
fully confident what ever the sex is. What gives me great comfort is,
that seeing my husband is male..he knows instinctively about boys and
comes from a long line of boys himself.


Eh, I don't really think *anyone* has all the answers
easily and instinctively, regardless of the sex of the child.
Your husband may feel comfortable with the idea of a boy, but
I guarantee that your child will send him for a loop sometime
regardless of whether it's a girl or a boy--and same for you.

Best wishes,
Ericka
  #6  
Old April 27th 08, 10:45 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
Kerry J, Renaissance
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1
Default Raising boys

On Sun, 27 Apr 2008 13:52:35 +0800, Areba
wrote:


I have no idea about raising a boy. Is this a common apprehension, or am
I just thinking hot air and any apprehension I have now will disappear


I felt that way about my son. He's my first child, and I was more or
less raised in a household of women -- my sister and my mother. There
were men in my life, growing up, but they seemed more peripheral.

I had no idea what to do with a boy, when I got one. However, I've
managed. The early baby times are all much the same, I think --
slightly different plumbing to clean and wipe (and you've got to watch
for the fountain effect with baby boys!), but still the diaper has to
be changed, the baby needs to be fed and cleaned and loved.

As he's gotten older, well, I've been glad to have my husband around
to influence -- now that he's 6, he's really into his Daddy and doing
"man-things". And it helped to have an example around for peeing
standing up, when potty training time came around.

As he's my first, I'm not always sure what part of his rough-housing
and occasionally getting into trouble is just part of being a boy, or
general non-gender-specific human nature, or just _him_. It doesn't
really matter, usually, but I'm curious.

I'm now expecting twins, a boy and a girl. I'm curious to see how our
next boy turns out, compared to our first, and am looking forward to
having a daughter, too.
  #7  
Old April 30th 08, 12:41 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
Areba
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 14
Default Raising boys

NL wrote:
Areba schrieb:

Hi everyone

The most common question I get asked while pregnant..

Is it a boy or girl..

We simply don't know..but I do daydream about it often. What could it
be????

However, as much as I will be over the moon and thrilled at whatever
sex the baby is, there is that tiny bit of apprehension I have if its
a boy.


snip

Anyone else felt anything similar?



*lol* yeah. I remember sitting on a bus with my big belly way back when
I was pregnant with Sam thinking "How the hell do I teach you stuff?! I
don't know what boys do.." but you know when they're babies they don't
do "gender specific" things and later they'll let you know what toys
they like and which they don't. And I haven't met a boy yet who won't
stop dead in his tracks when he sees construction going on while most
girls could care less.
You'll be fine. It's just a kid, nothing to be afraid of ;-)

cu
nicole



Very VERY Funny you say that..Both my husband and I are Architects and
if my calculations are correct - if my conception day is actually
correct, that means this bubba was concieved in a new commercial
building, 3rd floor, mid construction on a routine private Architect
inspection. What ever sex the baby is, we are estimating anything to do
with construction will turn its head :-)
 




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