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#131
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To ALL fathers Custody
"Phil" wrote .......................... You are becoming much like Marge; == Wow, that's a trip back in time! I'd forgotten all about Marge-- You are referring to the Marge who posted here years, years ago? |
#132
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To ALL fathers Custody
"Gini" wrote in message news:koibh.11528$d42.3395@trndny07... "Phil" wrote "Gini" wrote "teachrmama" wrote ............................ I certainly hope you are not teaching your children that they are victims! Everyone needs to play the cards they are dealt, and not liking your cards should never make you sit down and pout! == That is the tragedy of some children of divorce. A parent's obsession with the minutia of "issues" tramples common sense and dignity. Fortunately, the children come of age and sort beyond the BS they were handed. Then mom's "too bad your dad didn't show for your party," becomes child's "no damn wonder he stayed away after the horrible wretch you were to him." I wonder if these mothers ever realize they are their own worst enemy and caused their later situation by their earlier actions. == I don't think they realize the implications of their actions at the time because it's hard to imagine one's child as an independently thinking adult. My stepchildren were very controlled by their mother who blamed my DH for all manner of things including never having enough money for them, despite the fact that we were paying 600. then 1200. a month CS. She blamed us because she got evicted from her apt, had her car re-poed and was asked not to come back to certain doctors because she had so many unpaid bills. She told the kids that DH was putting me and our kids ahead of them. They were told that we were living large at their expense-- They had no idea how much support we were paying, or how financially strapped we were because of it. Now they do, and not because we ran to them and spilled the beans. The kids asked about these things after they were grown and we simply told them the facts. Sooner or later the laundry gets done, huh. |
#133
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To ALL fathers Custody
"Gini" wrote in message news:koibh.11528$d42.3395@trndny07... "Phil" wrote "Gini" wrote "teachrmama" wrote ............................ I certainly hope you are not teaching your children that they are victims! Everyone needs to play the cards they are dealt, and not liking your cards should never make you sit down and pout! == That is the tragedy of some children of divorce. A parent's obsession with the minutia of "issues" tramples common sense and dignity. Fortunately, the children come of age and sort beyond the BS they were handed. Then mom's "too bad your dad didn't show for your party," becomes child's "no damn wonder he stayed away after the horrible wretch you were to him." I wonder if these mothers ever realize they are their own worst enemy and caused their later situation by their earlier actions. == I don't think they realize the implications of their actions at the time because it's hard to imagine one's child as an independently thinking adult. My stepchildren were very controlled by their mother who blamed my DH for all manner of things including never having enough money for them, despite the fact that we were paying 600. then 1200. a month CS. She blamed us because she got evicted from her apt, had her car re-poed and was asked not to come back to certain doctors because she had so many unpaid bills. She told the kids that DH was putting me and our kids ahead of them. They were told that we were living large at their expense-- They had no idea how much support we were paying, or how financially strapped we were because of it. Now they do, and not because we ran to them and spilled the beans. The kids asked about these things after they were grown and we simply told them the facts. I have a similar tale with my (now) 20 year old. When he was 18, he asked his mom how much C$ she got. She told him with the exception of the child care and insurance I was paying as well as forgetting to advise him that even though she was making over twice (according to him) what I was, the out-of-pocket expenses for medical, eyeglasses, dental, etc. was that I got 79% of the cost to her 21%. (Long story but our salaries both changed after divorce; hers went up 300%, mine went down 50%. I never asked for a reduction... 'cause I'm a nice guy and wanted her to have all life had to offer) . Long story short, he started counting and watching and today throws it all back in her face often. Sadly, she still feels vindicated in taking the C$ for personal use, maintaining that it was legal, therefore moral. I fear for the country. Phil #3 |
#134
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To ALL fathers Custody
"Gini" wrote in message news:Rribh.19069$mM1.15700@trndny08... "Phil" wrote ......................... You are becoming much like Marge; == Wow, that's a trip back in time! I'd forgotten all about Marge-- You are referring to the Marge who posted here years, years ago? Yeah, I think so. She posts under different names as she gets killfiled often(sound like someone else we know?) and is a habitué in alt.soc.men as an agitator. She's posted here but I think only in x-posting. Phil #3 |
#135
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To ALL fathers Custody
"Phil" wrote in message ink.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Phil" wrote in message ink.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Phil" wrote in message ink.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Phil" wrote in message ink.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... Of course half the marital assets should be yours--but not more than half. And that happens far more often than you might imagine. As long as you are careful to take responsibility for every step you take (or agree to take), and don't hide behind the "but my lawyer made me do it" excuse, you should not find yourself falling into that trap. Also, don't try to make him pay your lawyer's bills, so you remain aware of how much it costs to do the whole court thing. The burden is on *you* to keep things fair. Why isn't the burden on *BOTH* of them to keep things fair? You know doggone well why, Moon. Once the system starts rolling, HE will simply be an ATM. She will be in the driver's seat. How do you propose that he keep things fair? Sign over every pay check to her, and live on what she deigns to throw back to him? I propose that *BOTH* adults act like adults, and try to keep things fair. Like I said, right above - "Why isn't the burden on *BOTH* of them to keep things fair?" And as I said right above, only she has the power to decide to be fair. He will have to do as ordered by the court. Which you know perfectly well. Here, Teach - let's try this. 2 parents, both working. Only 1 is providing health insurance. Who should be paying for the health insurance? The person providing it, the person who earns more money, or should they both try to be fair and split the cost? 2 parents, both working. 1 Parent has the children every weekend. Should the child support reflect this? 2 parents, both working. 2 tax exemptions, 1 for each child. Who should get the tax exemptions? Let's see what your idea of fair is. Ok, Moon, let's discuss fair. snipping diatribe Teach, I believe your starting premise is as screwed up as your view of CP's. Trying to keep things fair is NOT the responsibility of one, and only one, person. As long as you insist that it is, you've tossed any sense of fairness right out the window. When there are 2 people, it takes 2 to screw it up, and it takes 2 to try to make things fair. You mean you are partly responsible for being abandoned by your ex? I wasn't abandoned. Never made that claim, not once. Let's see.......... oh yeah, I was there - I was the one who filed for divorce. You kicked him out? No, I filed for divorce. You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than just being the one to file or was it just his actions or inactions that resulted in divorce? I couldn't be married to him anymore. I filed for divorce. Phil #3 Perhaps, but I disagree with your overall statement. No matter how wonderful things are, it only takes one to screw it up and in today's world, it only takes one to make the result unfair. Phil #3 Complete and total sidestep. Typical. Don't you just hate it when your own words bite you in the ass? What sidestep? You asked if I kicked him out, and I did not. You asked about the reasons for my divorce (which is none of your business), and I answered - I couldn't be married to him anymore. Phil #3 Remember this:"You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than just being the one to file or was it just his actions or inactions that resulted in divorce?" ? You failed to answer that even when the answer would not require you to divulge any 'secrets' about your divorce. You made a claim that "it takes 2 to screw it up"; I, and others, called you on it. Either you had some fault in your marriage failing or you are wrong that "it takes 2 to screw it up". Personally, I think everything you say carries a high probability of being incorrect. Gee, WHATEVER would cause you to think that? You now claim that the reasons for your divorce are none of my business after a decade of posting them? You are becoming much like Marge; a bitter, old, lonely hag who spends half her time complaining about getting what she demanded from life, the other half blaming men for her self induced problems. Common behavior from those whose own mother never said "no". Phil #3 |
#136
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To ALL fathers Custody
"Phil" wrote "Gini" wrote "Phil" wrote ......................... You are becoming much like Marge; == Wow, that's a trip back in time! I'd forgotten all about Marge-- You are referring to the Marge who posted here years, years ago? Yeah, I think so. She posts under different names as she gets killfiled often(sound like someone else we know?) and is a habitué in alt.soc.men as an agitator. She's posted here but I think only in x-posting. == Ah, you sounded like she was around but I didn't recall seeing her in years. |
#137
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To ALL fathers Custody
"Phil" wrote in message ink.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Phil" wrote in message ink.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Phil" wrote in message ink.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Phil" wrote in message ink.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... Of course half the marital assets should be yours--but not more than half. And that happens far more often than you might imagine. As long as you are careful to take responsibility for every step you take (or agree to take), and don't hide behind the "but my lawyer made me do it" excuse, you should not find yourself falling into that trap. Also, don't try to make him pay your lawyer's bills, so you remain aware of how much it costs to do the whole court thing. The burden is on *you* to keep things fair. Why isn't the burden on *BOTH* of them to keep things fair? You know doggone well why, Moon. Once the system starts rolling, HE will simply be an ATM. She will be in the driver's seat. How do you propose that he keep things fair? Sign over every pay check to her, and live on what she deigns to throw back to him? I propose that *BOTH* adults act like adults, and try to keep things fair. Like I said, right above - "Why isn't the burden on *BOTH* of them to keep things fair?" And as I said right above, only she has the power to decide to be fair. He will have to do as ordered by the court. Which you know perfectly well. Here, Teach - let's try this. 2 parents, both working. Only 1 is providing health insurance. Who should be paying for the health insurance? The person providing it, the person who earns more money, or should they both try to be fair and split the cost? 2 parents, both working. 1 Parent has the children every weekend. Should the child support reflect this? 2 parents, both working. 2 tax exemptions, 1 for each child. Who should get the tax exemptions? Let's see what your idea of fair is. Ok, Moon, let's discuss fair. snipping diatribe Teach, I believe your starting premise is as screwed up as your view of CP's. Trying to keep things fair is NOT the responsibility of one, and only one, person. As long as you insist that it is, you've tossed any sense of fairness right out the window. When there are 2 people, it takes 2 to screw it up, and it takes 2 to try to make things fair. You mean you are partly responsible for being abandoned by your ex? I wasn't abandoned. Never made that claim, not once. Let's see.......... oh yeah, I was there - I was the one who filed for divorce. You kicked him out? No, I filed for divorce. You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than just being the one to file or was it just his actions or inactions that resulted in divorce? I couldn't be married to him anymore. I filed for divorce. Phil #3 Perhaps, but I disagree with your overall statement. No matter how wonderful things are, it only takes one to screw it up and in today's world, it only takes one to make the result unfair. Phil #3 Complete and total sidestep. Typical. Don't you just hate it when your own words bite you in the ass? What sidestep? You asked if I kicked him out, and I did not. You asked about the reasons for my divorce (which is none of your business), and I answered - I couldn't be married to him anymore. Phil #3 Remember this:"You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than just being the one to file or was it just his actions or inactions that resulted in divorce?" ? You failed to answer that even when the answer would not require you to divulge any 'secrets' about your divorce. Well, then we'll simply have to disagree - you offered a choice of (A) You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than just being the one to file or (B) or was it just his actions or inactions that resulted in divorce? It was neither. I simply couldn't be married to him anymore. You made a claim that "it takes 2 to screw it up"; I, and others, called you on it. Either you had some fault in your marriage failing or you are wrong that "it takes 2 to screw it up". Personally, I think everything you say carries a high probability of being incorrect. Ok, fine. It takes one to screw up. And since you know *neither* of us, any claims that you make that I was the one are pretty worthless. You now claim that the reasons for your divorce are none of my business after a decade of posting them? A decade? I haven't been in this newsgroup for a decade.... actually, I haven't been divorced for a decade, either. You are becoming much like Marge; a bitter, old, lonely hag who spends half her time complaining about getting what she demanded from life, the other half blaming men for her self induced problems. Oh? How odd - I see how I spend my time - and my time on here is a very small portion of my waking hours.... all the rest are spent at my job, and with my children, and doing a whole lot of other activities. Phil #3 |
#138
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To ALL fathers Custody
"Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Phil" wrote in message ink.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Phil" wrote in message ink.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Phil" wrote in message ink.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Phil" wrote in message ink.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... Of course half the marital assets should be yours--but not more than half. And that happens far more often than you might imagine. As long as you are careful to take responsibility for every step you take (or agree to take), and don't hide behind the "but my lawyer made me do it" excuse, you should not find yourself falling into that trap. Also, don't try to make him pay your lawyer's bills, so you remain aware of how much it costs to do the whole court thing. The burden is on *you* to keep things fair. Why isn't the burden on *BOTH* of them to keep things fair? You know doggone well why, Moon. Once the system starts rolling, HE will simply be an ATM. She will be in the driver's seat. How do you propose that he keep things fair? Sign over every pay check to her, and live on what she deigns to throw back to him? I propose that *BOTH* adults act like adults, and try to keep things fair. Like I said, right above - "Why isn't the burden on *BOTH* of them to keep things fair?" And as I said right above, only she has the power to decide to be fair. He will have to do as ordered by the court. Which you know perfectly well. Here, Teach - let's try this. 2 parents, both working. Only 1 is providing health insurance. Who should be paying for the health insurance? The person providing it, the person who earns more money, or should they both try to be fair and split the cost? 2 parents, both working. 1 Parent has the children every weekend. Should the child support reflect this? 2 parents, both working. 2 tax exemptions, 1 for each child. Who should get the tax exemptions? Let's see what your idea of fair is. Ok, Moon, let's discuss fair. snipping diatribe Teach, I believe your starting premise is as screwed up as your view of CP's. Trying to keep things fair is NOT the responsibility of one, and only one, person. As long as you insist that it is, you've tossed any sense of fairness right out the window. When there are 2 people, it takes 2 to screw it up, and it takes 2 to try to make things fair. You mean you are partly responsible for being abandoned by your ex? I wasn't abandoned. Never made that claim, not once. Let's see.......... oh yeah, I was there - I was the one who filed for divorce. You kicked him out? No, I filed for divorce. You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than just being the one to file or was it just his actions or inactions that resulted in divorce? I couldn't be married to him anymore. I filed for divorce. Phil #3 Perhaps, but I disagree with your overall statement. No matter how wonderful things are, it only takes one to screw it up and in today's world, it only takes one to make the result unfair. Phil #3 Complete and total sidestep. Typical. Don't you just hate it when your own words bite you in the ass? What sidestep? You asked if I kicked him out, and I did not. You asked about the reasons for my divorce (which is none of your business), and I answered - I couldn't be married to him anymore. Phil #3 Remember this:"You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than just being the one to file or was it just his actions or inactions that resulted in divorce?" ? You failed to answer that even when the answer would not require you to divulge any 'secrets' about your divorce. Well, then we'll simply have to disagree - you offered a choice of (A) You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than just being the one to file or (B) or was it just his actions or inactions that resulted in divorce? It was neither. I simply couldn't be married to him anymore. Since you either were or were not at least partially at fault, it has to be one or the other; either you had some fault or not. It can't be both, it can't be neither, your avoidance notwithstanding. You made a claim that "it takes 2 to screw it up"; I, and others, called you on it. Either you had some fault in your marriage failing or you are wrong that "it takes 2 to screw it up". Personally, I think everything you say carries a high probability of being incorrect. Ok, fine. It takes one to screw up. And since you know *neither* of us, any claims that you make that I was the one are pretty worthless. I made no claims, I asked a question that you failed to answer until now when you finally appear to be claiming without saying so, that the divorce is all his fault. This is possible, since as you say, I know neither of you but the entire point is that your original statement was wrong (as usual). You now claim that the reasons for your divorce are none of my business after a decade of posting them? A decade? I haven't been in this newsgroup for a decade.... actually, I haven't been divorced for a decade, either. Perhaps it just seems I have been reading it that long. You are becoming much like Marge; a bitter, old, lonely hag who spends half her time complaining about getting what she demanded from life, the other half blaming men for her self induced problems. Oh? How odd - I see how I spend my time - and my time on here is a very small portion of my waking hours.... all the rest are spent at my job, and with my children, and doing a whole lot of other activities. Yeah, a legend in your own mind. :P -- "Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it” ~ Adolph Hitler Phil #3 Phil #3 |
#139
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To ALL fathers Custody
"Phil" wrote in message ink.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Phil" wrote in message ink.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Phil" wrote in message ink.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Phil" wrote in message ink.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Phil" wrote in message ink.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... Of course half the marital assets should be yours--but not more than half. And that happens far more often than you might imagine. As long as you are careful to take responsibility for every step you take (or agree to take), and don't hide behind the "but my lawyer made me do it" excuse, you should not find yourself falling into that trap. Also, don't try to make him pay your lawyer's bills, so you remain aware of how much it costs to do the whole court thing. The burden is on *you* to keep things fair. Why isn't the burden on *BOTH* of them to keep things fair? You know doggone well why, Moon. Once the system starts rolling, HE will simply be an ATM. She will be in the driver's seat. How do you propose that he keep things fair? Sign over every pay check to her, and live on what she deigns to throw back to him? I propose that *BOTH* adults act like adults, and try to keep things fair. Like I said, right above - "Why isn't the burden on *BOTH* of them to keep things fair?" And as I said right above, only she has the power to decide to be fair. He will have to do as ordered by the court. Which you know perfectly well. Here, Teach - let's try this. 2 parents, both working. Only 1 is providing health insurance. Who should be paying for the health insurance? The person providing it, the person who earns more money, or should they both try to be fair and split the cost? 2 parents, both working. 1 Parent has the children every weekend. Should the child support reflect this? 2 parents, both working. 2 tax exemptions, 1 for each child. Who should get the tax exemptions? Let's see what your idea of fair is. Ok, Moon, let's discuss fair. snipping diatribe Teach, I believe your starting premise is as screwed up as your view of CP's. Trying to keep things fair is NOT the responsibility of one, and only one, person. As long as you insist that it is, you've tossed any sense of fairness right out the window. When there are 2 people, it takes 2 to screw it up, and it takes 2 to try to make things fair. You mean you are partly responsible for being abandoned by your ex? I wasn't abandoned. Never made that claim, not once. Let's see.......... oh yeah, I was there - I was the one who filed for divorce. You kicked him out? No, I filed for divorce. You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than just being the one to file or was it just his actions or inactions that resulted in divorce? I couldn't be married to him anymore. I filed for divorce. Phil #3 Perhaps, but I disagree with your overall statement. No matter how wonderful things are, it only takes one to screw it up and in today's world, it only takes one to make the result unfair. Phil #3 Complete and total sidestep. Typical. Don't you just hate it when your own words bite you in the ass? What sidestep? You asked if I kicked him out, and I did not. You asked about the reasons for my divorce (which is none of your business), and I answered - I couldn't be married to him anymore. Phil #3 Remember this:"You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than just being the one to file or was it just his actions or inactions that resulted in divorce?" ? You failed to answer that even when the answer would not require you to divulge any 'secrets' about your divorce. Well, then we'll simply have to disagree - you offered a choice of (A) You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than just being the one to file or (B) or was it just his actions or inactions that resulted in divorce? It was neither. I simply couldn't be married to him anymore. Since you either were or were not at least partially at fault, it has to be one or the other; either you had some fault or not. It can't be both, it can't be neither, your avoidance notwithstanding. You made a claim that "it takes 2 to screw it up"; I, and others, called you on it. Either you had some fault in your marriage failing or you are wrong that "it takes 2 to screw it up". Personally, I think everything you say carries a high probability of being incorrect. Ok, fine. It takes one to screw up. And since you know *neither* of us, any claims that you make that I was the one are pretty worthless. I made no claims, I asked a question that you failed to answer until now when you finally appear to be claiming without saying so, that the divorce is all his fault. This is possible, since as you say, I know neither of you but the entire point is that your original statement was wrong (as usual). You now claim that the reasons for your divorce are none of my business after a decade of posting them? A decade? I haven't been in this newsgroup for a decade.... actually, I haven't been divorced for a decade, either. Perhaps it just seems I have been reading it that long. You are becoming much like Marge; a bitter, old, lonely hag who spends half her time complaining about getting what she demanded from life, the other half blaming men for her self induced problems. Oh? How odd - I see how I spend my time - and my time on here is a very small portion of my waking hours.... all the rest are spent at my job, and with my children, and doing a whole lot of other activities. Yeah, a legend in your own mind. :P No - just a parent, raising a couple of kids. Nothing more, nothing less. -- "Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it" ~ Adolph Hitler Phil #3 Phil #3 |
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