I got a nice surprise tonight

Hubby and I were talking and he said "I want another one". I said another
what and he said another baby. He said he wanted ours to grow up with a
brother or sister close to her so they won't fight as badly. We had talked
about this in the past and I have been thinking of having the IUD out in
August after she was a year old but now he wants me to have it removed
sooner. I don't think I want to do this considering I had a c-section with
the first one I want to let my body heal a bit. Do you think that this
would be a good idea or should I go ahead have it taken out and try for the
2nd one? I'm not sure what to really do about it.

Jennifer
Ariana 8/27/03

"Jennifer and Robert Howe" wrote in message
ink.net...
Hubby and I were talking and he said "I want another one". I said another
what and he said another baby. He said he wanted ours to grow up with a
brother or sister close to her so they won't fight as badly. We had
talked
about this in the past and I have been thinking of having the IUD out in
August after she was a year old but now he wants me to have it removed
sooner. I don't think I want to do this considering I had a c-section
with
the first one I want to let my body heal a bit. Do you think that this
would be a good idea or should I go ahead have it taken out and try for
the
2nd one? I'm not sure what to really do about it.

Jennifer
Ariana 8/27/03

I think you should ask your DR, I thought they liked 1 yr gaps just for
healing of the uterine scar, then again accidents happen all the time and
people have them sooner, I know someone who's children are exactly 1 yr
appart.And of course you yourself need to feel it's the right time.
Good luck
Alissa

Jennifer and Robert Howe wrote in message
He said he wanted ours to grow up with a brother or sister close to her so
they won't fight as badly.

Oh now see, my girls who are 18 months apart didn't read that rule in the
book. They fight like cats and dogs. However, the 3-year age gap between the
two older ones has been very nice and they get along much better. If I had
to do it all over again, I would opt for the longer age spacing. I also
didn't like the fact that I felt I missed out on a lot of #2's baby years
because I was pregnant and tired and didn't feel like doing a whole lot.
Personally, the longer you can have your body heal and more bonding time
with your oldest, is imo better for everyone involved. But, obviously it is
your husband and your decision and not all kids happen to fight as much as
mine does. I think I am at an disadvantage because they are all girls and
much closer in age. It's like having triplets.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)
I'm Just a Raggedy Ann in a Barbie Doll World...

"Jennifer and Robert Howe" wrote in message
ink.net...
Hubby and I were talking and he said "I want another one". I said another
what and he said another baby. He said he wanted ours to grow up with a
brother or sister close to her so they won't fight as badly.

LOL!! Sorry but a close age gap does not mean no fighting. Mine are 16
months apart and 25 months apart. Yes they play together but boy, can they
fight.

We had talked
about this in the past and I have been thinking of having the IUD out in
August after she was a year old but now he wants me to have it removed
sooner. I don't think I want to do this considering I had a c-section
with
the first one I want to let my body heal a bit. Do you think that this
would be a good idea or should I go ahead have it taken out and try for
the
2nd one? I'm not sure what to really do about it.

Jennifer
Ariana 8/27/03

All of mine are c-sections. I was never told to wait a certain amount time
in-between.

Sophie
#4 due 7/7/04 - 4th c-section

Personally, the longer you can have your body heal

Not sure about that. My Dr said healed is pretty much healed with
c-sections. Waiting longer doesn't mean more healed.

Jennifer and Robert Howe wrote:

Hubby and I were talking and he said "I want another one". I said another
what and he said another baby. He said he wanted ours to grow up with a
brother or sister close to her so they won't fight as badly. We had talked
about this in the past and I have been thinking of having the IUD out in
August after she was a year old but now he wants me to have it removed
sooner. I don't think I want to do this considering I had a c-section with
the first one I want to let my body heal a bit. Do you think that this
would be a good idea or should I go ahead have it taken out and try for the
2nd one? I'm not sure what to really do about it.

I don't know about the issues related to having had
a c-section. Research has suggested that the optimal
spacing for health reasons is 2.5 years to 5 years.
Earlier than that the risk of preterm labor and low
birthweight are increased. They aren't huge, but they
are increased, which may indicate something about your
body not being as ready for another pregnancy within
that time frame. So, that would suggest starting trying
for another baby when your first is around 18 months.
By happenstance, that's what the spacing
between my first two is. It worked well for us, though
every spacing has it's good points and bad points.
One thing I will say, though, is that there
is NO spacing that will guarantee that the kids won't
fight as much. Some of the siblings I know that fight
the *MOST* are very close in age, and some that fight
the least are further apart. My husband is less than
a year younger than his brother and they fought like
crazy as kids and weren't even really friends until
they were adults. If you want close spacing for
other reasons, then feel free, but don't take on
the challenge of having two so close together (and
it is definitely a challenge in the early years)
under the assumption that it will guarantee sibling
closeness.
Also, it sounds like you're not quite ready
to do this again right now. I think it's important
to respect your body and your feelings too. Pregnancy
is a major drain on your resources, and it's a lot
harder being pregnant when you already have a child
(you can't just take a nap when you're tired!). Don't
let a false sense of urgency push you somewhere you're
not ready to go yet.

Best wishes,
Ericka

You shouldn't do it until you both feel ready, but I wouldn't let the c-section
hold me back if I were you. I have two boys a year apart, both c-sections, and
I've had another baby since with no problems. As Sophie said, once it's
healed, it's healed.

Leslie

I don't know about the issues related to having had
a c-section. Research has suggested that the optimal
spacing for health reasons is 2.5 years to 5 years.
Earlier than that the risk of preterm labor and low
birthweight are increased. They aren't huge, but they
are increased, which may indicate something about your
body not being as ready for another pregnancy within
that time frame.

Well Patrick was more than a pound bigger than Charlotte and he came only
cos it was scheduled (on his due date).
*They* can say that *might* happen but I don't buy it.

So, that would suggest starting trying
for another baby when your first is around 18 months.
By happenstance, that's what the spacing
between my first two is. It worked well for us, though
every spacing has it's good points and bad points.
One thing I will say, though, is that there
is NO spacing that will guarantee that the kids won't
fight as much. Some of the siblings I know that fight
the *MOST* are very close in age, and some that fight
the least are further apart. My husband is less than
a year younger than his brother and they fought like
crazy as kids and weren't even really friends until
they were adults. If you want close spacing for
other reasons, then feel free, but don't take on
the challenge of having two so close together (and
it is definitely a challenge in the early years)
under the assumption that it will guarantee sibling
closeness.

Absolutely agree. You can't guarantee a thing - that you'll get pregnant
when you want to, that you'll have a certain gender, that they'll get along,
etc....You just have to take your chances.


Also, it sounds like you're not quite ready
to do this again right now. I think it's important
to respect your body and your feelings too. Pregnancy
is a major drain on your resources, and it's a lot
harder being pregnant when you already have a child
(you can't just take a nap when you're tired!). Don't
let a false sense of urgency push you somewhere you're
not ready to go yet.

Best wishes,
Ericka

But if you get pregnant and you have a younger child there's more chance
that child naps - and you can too
That was great when I was pregnant with Patrick, Charlotte still took 2 naps
a day (then only one) and I did too.

Sophie wrote:

I don't know about the issues related to having had
a c-section. Research has suggested that the optimal
spacing for health reasons is 2.5 years to 5 years.
Earlier than that the risk of preterm labor and low
birthweight are increased. They aren't huge, but they
are increased, which may indicate something about your
body not being as ready for another pregnancy within
that time frame.

Well Patrick was more than a pound bigger than Charlotte and he came only
cos it was scheduled (on his due date).
*They* can say that *might* happen but I don't buy it.

I think it's pretty hard to dispute a large,
reasonably well done study that demonstrated a greater
risk of preterm labor and low birthweight with closer
spacings (especially since those findings have been
supported by other studies as well). That doesn't
mean that it will happen to everyone, of course.
It simply means that the odds are higher that it will
than if one has a larger gap. Just because you weren't
one of the people it happened to doesn't mean the
additional risk doesn't exist. After that, it becomes
a personal choice whether the risk is something a person
wants to accept or not. Different people have different
levels of risk tolerance. Some people would look at
those studies and still feel the risk was acceptable,
and others wouldn't.

Best wishes,
Ericka

Sue wrote:
Personally, the longer you can have your body heal

Sophie wrote in message Not sure about that.
My Dr said healed is pretty much healed with
c-sections. Waiting longer doesn't mean more healed.

Probably not, but I think my mind needs to heal, lol.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)
I'm Just a Raggedy Ann in a Barbie Doll World...