Crying it out

"Phoebe & Allyson" wrote in message
...
hobbes wrote:

If it helps to know this, neither of my
children would take naps if they weren't being held for the first 3-5
months
of their lives. It was tiring and really frustrating some days. But
eventually, the problems fixed themselves (with some flexibility and
experimentation from me).


That's Caterpillar. What did you do?


Honestly, I don't think I can take credit for any changes. Or not much.
Seemed like eventually each of them decided that it's just as/more
comfortable to sleep lying down than in my arms. (Well, DD might not be
quite there--she certainly doesn't like to settle at night until I'm in bed
with her.)

With DS, my technique was nursing him in bed and sneaking away when he'd
fallen asleep. That was the only thing that worked, and I had to keep it up
until he was almost 1.5 years old.

With DD, it has been persistance and necessity (with a toddler running
around, I simply can't hold her for hours at a time, or lie down in bed 3
times a day). We're still working on it, but she is able to sleep for at
least 20 minutes on her own three times a day. Let me think what got us
there . . . It helped that my mom comes once a week and one time she just
got persistant with putting DD down when she fell asleep, picking her up if
she woke, and putting her right down again. Since she couldn't nurse (I had
nursed recently, so we knew DD wasn't hungry), she had to try various
things, and since DD knew she wasn't getting any milk out of the deal, I
think she just gave up a lot quicker than she would with me, and slept on
her own for over an hour. That's what gave me hope. So I just started
nursing her and lying her down. Sometimes she'd wake up and I'd walk her and
rock her or nurse her or whatever and lay her down again. Eventually, it
just worked. That's why I think it was really a matter of her
timing--nothing I did was unique at all.

I doubt any of that will help Caterpillar. Sounds like she's a stubborn one.
The only thing I wonder is whether she's too tired to sleep. You've
probably tried this, but have you considered trying to get her to nap
earlier? DD's first nap is about an hour and a half after she wakes up in
the morning. Second nap is 3 hours later. Third nap is 3 hours later. (About
8:30, 11:30, 2:30.) I didn't invent the schedule, and it varies somewhat,
but that's what has evolved. First two naps are usually 20-30 minutes. Third
nap is closer to an hour, but she often wakes up after 30-40 minutes and
finishes her nap in my arms. I have no idea if that's helpful or not, but
sometimes it does help to hear what other babies are doing.

Jodi

(HollyLewis) wrote in message ...
IF you want your child to be able to put
themselves to sleep, you have to put them to bed awake.

But, you see, that is not true. Well, I suppose for some children it is. But
my experience is that children will be able to fall asleep on their own at some
point, at least under some circumstances, even if until the age of 2 or 3 or
even later they have typically been nursed to sleep.

Most little kids I know naturally progressed from nursing to sleep, to going to
sleep with a parent lying down next to them (but without nursing), to going to
sleep with a parent in the room (but not in the same bed), to truly going to
sleep alone (or are somewhere along that progression now). In some cases,
parents are able to push a child along that progression very quickly, but in
others, it takes many years. Just as some kids are totally potty trained
before they're two, and others wet the bed until they're 8; not every potty
training technique works on every child, at all or at any given developmental
stage.

Holly
Mom to Camden, 2.5 yrs

This was certainly true in our case. James NEVER ONCE went to sleep
before the age of three without nursing (at night or for naps - okay,
I will admit, he would go to sleep in the car quite often, but once we
got home he was awake and raring to go, if it was an hour nap in the
car or 5 minutes). He weaned right after his third birthday (mainly
because we moved and it was very hectic and DH took over the nighttime
duties for awhile). By the time he reached about 2, it took about 30
seconds of nursing before he went to sleep, so it really wasn't that
time consuming. Now, at 3.5, DH or I lie down with him, read him a
few stories from his favorite books, talk a little bit about his day,
and he then generally falls asleep. I am looking forward to the day
when he will go to bed entirely on his own, but I don't see that
happening for awhile yet.

He has just taken longer for his sleep cycles to mature. I could
never do Ferber; tried once and it failed miserably. James
personality was just not suited to it either, so I just accepted the
fact that in terms of getting him to sleep, I would just have to be
more involved for awhile. Once I just accepted that things got much
better.

I guess I am personally a bit more sensitive about the sleep issue
thing myself, because I am a very poor sleeper; I wake up alot a night
(even when I am not pregnant!), have an extremely difficult time
getting back to sleep once awakened (even in the depths of sleep
deprivation with newborns), and have suffered at points in my life
with insomnia (my record for continuous days without any sleep is 15).
I also vividly remember episodes in my childhood where I was left to
go to sleep alone and feeling terrified. So perhaps this colors my
attitudes about children and sleep a bit too.

Sharon
Mom to James 6.2.00
EDD #2 5 December

hobbes wrote:

First two naps are usually 20-30 minutes. Third
nap is closer to an hour, but she often wakes up after 30-40 minutes and
finishes her nap in my arms. I have no idea if that's helpful or not, but
sometimes it does help to hear what other babies are doing.

Very helpful! Caterpillar will nap 20 minutes by herself,
as long as we can lay her down without waking her up. It's
just that she sleeps up to 90 minutes on someone.

She's being a perverse little Caterpillar today. I asked
the pediatrician about her persistently dark-green poop (ped
said it's undigested bile caused by fast transit time) and
she was yellow for the rest of the day for the first time in
over a month. I posted here about not napping, and she
slept by herself for an hour and a half. (Well, 60 minutes
during which she woke up and went back to sleep a few
seconds later 3 times, woke up for real with a huge burp and
a nurse back to sleep, then 30 more minutes by herself.)
Too bad that nap was from 7:30 to 9:45, which means she'll
be up until 1am. :P

Phoebe
--
yahoo address is unread - substitute mailbolt

Phoebe & Allyson wrote:
hobbes wrote:

If it helps to know this, neither of my
children would take naps if they weren't being held for the first
3-5 months of their lives. It was tiring and really frustrating some
days. But eventually, the problems fixed themselves (with some
flexibility and experimentation from me).


That's Caterpillar. What did you do?

Phoebe *and the never-napping baby who was up until 1am*


That was Hunter. We held him or he didn't nap ;-) When he was weaned
napping was well and truley a struggle. I quite struggling and holding when
the baby was born and Hunter completely quit napping at 24 months, although
he still needed one. If you are wondering...no he never napped for anyone
else either, not dh nor the sitter. He'd occasionally fall over from
complete exhaustion at the sitters but never from an intentional nap. I
could get him to sleep and then transfer him over to dh for a nap and that
worked pretty good though.
--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)