question - or maybe ramble - about my 4yo

My son is in daycare/preschool. I was talking to his teacher the other day.
I was asking what skills were expected going into kindergarten after
preschool. The teacher listed knowing shapes, colors and recognizing
letters. Hmmm said I, DS has had that cold for a really long time. Then I
asked what basic skills are expecting going into first grade. She said (in a
neighboring state in which she used to teach kindergarten) knowing letters
cold, knowing many letter sounds, recognizing numbers. By this account,
academically speaking, my 4yo is ready for first grade. He knows a lot of
whole words that he recognizes on sight. And he is getting more and more
adept at reading words by sounding them out. He does not know any compound
sounds like "ee" and "th" but he is very interested in them. We have started
talking about them, but he would not be able to tell me what "th" sounds
like. I have not asked him. His math skills are very good. He can count
forever, as long as he is paying attention. He can add small numbers using
his fingers. He enjoys this stuff.

Anyway, he is 4 and will be 5 in december. Meaning, he missed the
kindergarten cut off at our school. I could apply for a cut off waiver,
which apparently is not granted very often in our district. I have to go
speak to the principal for more details.

My concern is that over the normal course of events, he will not be able to
go to kindergarten until Sept 2006. If he is so acedemically ahead of the
game now, what will things be like then? I have thought to basically
de-emphasize reading and math for now. Some more writing would be fine. But
maybe I could bring up more science topics which we have been ignoring, like
how do flowers grow? How do bees make honey, and stuff like that. But even
so, if DS is not reading by Kindergarten I'll be a monkey's uncle.

My point is I am not sure what I should be thinking about in terms of
education options for him. His acedemic ability is not on the same track as
his social skills. I do not want to advance him acedemically at the expense
of being able to get along with his peers. I think my folks did that. It
worked out Ok. I am pretty sure I would have been a massive geek anyway. But
I never did understand what was going on with my own peer group. But I do
not want learning and school to be boring and drudgery all the time. At some
point, a child sometimes has to do things that they do not want to do. But I
have visions of learning letter sounds and counting which will be just too
easy for him, and resultant behavioral issues stemming from boredom.

Options may include:

- Do nothing and wait and see how things are when he is eligible for
kindergarten.
- Attempt to get him into kindergarten this September at 4 yo. That's kind
of young, don't you think?
- Plan on homeschooling. This one would be the biggest life departure from
our current scene. But I am working on being more available for this sort of
thing.

I would say that private schooling is not an option, as I want to reduce the
family reliance on my income, not increase it.

Ok, I am done rambling now. Anyone have any comments? Thanks!

Stephanie wrote:


My concern is that over the normal course of events, he will not be able to
go to kindergarten until Sept 2006. If he is so acedemically ahead of the
game now, what will things be like then? I have thought to basically
de-emphasize reading and math for now. Some more writing would be fine. But
maybe I could bring up more science topics which we have been ignoring, like
how do flowers grow? How do bees make honey, and stuff like that. But even
so, if DS is not reading by Kindergarten I'll be a monkey's uncle.

Just because the criteria for getting into grade X are
somewhat limited doesn't mean that that's all they cover in
grade X-1. There's a whole lot of variation from school district
to school district, but around here, a whole lot of kids are
reading by kindy (and a whole lot aren't). Some go into first
grade barely reading, and others go into first grade reading
very well. They just meet the kids where they are and make
progress from there. It's not perfect, but it's not like
they're going to hold a child who is reading back for the
whole year. They'll usually find a way to accommodate, especially
if you say something about it.
That said, I certainly would not be pushing him academically
at home. I wouldn't stand in his way if he wants to learn more
about a particular area, but I wouldn't be encouraging it. There
are *SO* many things he can spend his time with now--science, as
you say, as well as music and dance and other arts and things in
the community and so forth.

Options may include:

- Do nothing and wait and see how things are when he is eligible for
kindergarten.

That's what I'd do. Both my boys are gifted and neither had
any serious problems being accommodated in kindy (one started at 5 years
7 months and the other at 5 years 1 month). It *could* be a disaster
with a poor teacher, but it is far from necessarily being a disaster.
Any kindy teacher worth his or her salt should be able to accommodate
a wide range of abilities, as that's *very* common in kindy.

- Attempt to get him into kindergarten this September at 4 yo. That's kind
of young, don't you think?

Yes. Even with more academic kindys, kindy is still *very*
social and a lot about learning all the "school rules." I think it
would likely to him a great disservice to put him in so much younger
than the other kids.

- Plan on homeschooling. This one would be the biggest life departure from
our current scene. But I am working on being more available for this sort of
thing.

I wouldn't borrow trouble. Things could still work out just
fine. Unless you want to homeschool for other reasons, I'd reserve
that option for when and if it turns out to be clearly necessary.

Best wishes,
Ericka

"Stephanie" wrote in message
...
My son is in daycare/preschool. I was talking to his teacher the other
day.
I was asking what skills were expected going into kindergarten after
preschool. The teacher listed knowing shapes, colors and recognizing
letters. Hmmm said I, DS has had that cold for a really long time.

My daughter had all of those down by the time she was 3.5, despite having a
learning disability. Because of that learning disability, she is struggling
in kindergarten (though she is, quite happily, making progress and according
to her teacher, she won't be held back, which was my greatest concern when I
decided not to keep her out of kindy until next year).

My point here is that a *lot* of kids, particularly those with preschool or
daycare experience, have the "prerequisites" for kindergarten down pat well
before they're old enough to go to kindergarten. That doesn't mean they're
socially or psychologically or physically ready for all that kindergarten
entails.

Then I
asked what basic skills are expecting going into first grade. She said (in
a
neighboring state in which she used to teach kindergarten) knowing letters
cold, knowing many letter sounds, recognizing numbers.

That sounds more like what our school district wants for kindergarten entry,
not first grade entry. They don't make a big deal out of knowing letter
sounds, but they definitely like it if the kids know some of them.

I don't know where you live, but the expectation for children leaving
kindergarten in California includes the ability to identify, count, and
write number to 30, the ability to write three non-patterned sentences
(meaning it can't be "I see the cat. I see the dog. I see the kite." but has
to be "I see the cat. The cat is gray. I like petting the cat."), and be
able to read/write roughly 30 sight words. I wouldn't go by a report of what
the expectations in another state are (or were when she was teaching there).

By this account,
academically speaking, my 4yo is ready for first grade. He knows a lot of
whole words that he recognizes on sight. And he is getting more and more
adept at reading words by sounding them out. He does not know any compound
sounds like "ee" and "th" but he is very interested in them. We have
started
talking about them, but he would not be able to tell me what "th" sounds
like. I have not asked him. His math skills are very good. He can count
forever, as long as he is paying attention. He can add small numbers using
his fingers. He enjoys this stuff.

That's great. For a child like this, a Montessori pre-K/K program is
probably a great option. But the ability to read and do math doesn't mean
he's really ready for kindergarten. A *lot* of kids are reading and doing
rudimentary mathematics when they enter kindergarten. That doesn't mean that
the entire kindergarten curriculum is too easy for them, though.

Just as an example, my cousin's son was reading at about a third grade level
when he entered kindy last fall. His parents actually have had to hide the
newspaper from him since he was about 4 because he read the headlines and
then wanted to know about car bombs in Iraq and the like. Even though he was
*very* advanced at reading, he still found learning to write and many of the
other skills taught in kindergarten to be challenging. And, in fact,
kindergarten is a *whole* lot more about learning to write than it is about
learning to read, so if he's already reading when he enters kindergarten,
it's *not* going to make the entire curriculum boring for him.

My concern is that over the normal course of events, he will not be able
to
go to kindergarten until Sept 2006. If he is so acedemically ahead of the
game now, what will things be like then? I have thought to basically
de-emphasize reading and math for now. Some more writing would be fine.
But
maybe I could bring up more science topics which we have been ignoring,
like
how do flowers grow? How do bees make honey, and stuff like that. But even
so, if DS is not reading by Kindergarten I'll be a monkey's uncle.

Personally, I'd lay off academic stuff unless *he's* pushing you for it. I
never made any effort to get my children to read or write or do math before
they got to kindergarten. They learned what they learned in preschool and I
supported that if they asked me to, but I never made any great point to
doing academic stuff with them at home. Aside from reading them lots of
books, taking them to museums and parks and the zoo, and answering their
questions about anything and everything ("what are trees made of? what is
glass made of? what is the sky made of?"--my oldest could come up with these
all day long), I didn't think it was particularly desirable to spend a lot
of our family time on "teaching" them things.

My point is I am not sure what I should be thinking about in terms of
education options for him. His acedemic ability is not on the same track
as
his social skills. I do not want to advance him acedemically at the
expense
of being able to get along with his peers. I think my folks did that. It
worked out Ok. I am pretty sure I would have been a massive geek anyway.
But
I never did understand what was going on with my own peer group. But I do
not want learning and school to be boring and drudgery all the time. At
some
point, a child sometimes has to do things that they do not want to do. But
I
have visions of learning letter sounds and counting which will be just too
easy for him, and resultant behavioral issues stemming from boredom.

And you can cross that bridge when you come to it. I think you're borrowing
trouble here based on your own experiences. Don't assume your kid is you,
even if he looks and acts a lot like you g. And don't assume that his
school experiences will necessarily be the same as yours, because school
today is not what it was when you went. (Trust me on this one. I'm shocked
by how different kindy is for my kids than it was for me...ahem...30+ years
ago, and I had a more academic than usual kindergarten experience for my day
because I was identified gifted and taught to read.)

Options may include:

- Do nothing and wait and see how things are when he is eligible for
kindergarten.

This gets my vote.

- Attempt to get him into kindergarten this September at 4 yo. That's kind
of young, don't you think?

Depending on when the cut-off in your district is, it could be very young.
The California state cut-off is Dec. 2, though some districts have later
cut-offs, so we actually have a *lot* of kids who are 4 when they start
kindergarten and most of them do fine. That said, if the cut-off for your
district is late like ours, it's all the more reason to respect it if your
child's birthdate falls after it. IOW, the likelihood that your child really
isn't socially, psychologically, and physically ready for kindergarten are
greater the later the cut-off is. Many people in California hold back
children with Oct.-Nov. birthdays until the following school year precisely
because our cut-off is so late and our requirements are so academic.

- Plan on homeschooling. This one would be the biggest life departure from
our current scene. But I am working on being more available for this sort
of
thing.

Like Ericka, this isn't something I'd put on the table at this juncture.
Home schooling is something I'd do if I felt is was the absolutely only
option for some reason, but it would take a lot to get me there.
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Mr. Congeniality (7), the Diva (5) and the Race Car Fanatic (3)

I have PMS and ESP...I'm the bitch who knows everything! (T-shirt slogan)

- Do nothing and wait and see how things are when he is eligible for
kindergarten.
- Attempt to get him into kindergarten this September at 4 yo. That's kind
of young, don't you think?
- Plan on homeschooling. This one would be the biggest life departure from
our current scene. But I am working on being more available for this sort
of
thing.

I have a friend who decided to homeschool for the reasons you listed. She
could not see sending her daughter to school to learn things she already
knew the year before she could go to public school.

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/02
Xavier 10/04

Goal 1- lose 20 lbs By May 1st

"Tori M." wrote in message
...
- Do nothing and wait and see how things are when he is eligible for
kindergarten.
- Attempt to get him into kindergarten this September at 4 yo. That's
kind
of young, don't you think?
- Plan on homeschooling. This one would be the biggest life departure
from
our current scene. But I am working on being more available for this
sort
of thing.

I have a friend who decided to homeschool for the reasons you listed. She
could not see sending her daughter to school to learn things she already
knew the year before she could go to public school.

Of course, this assumes that public schools cannot accommodate the needs of
children who are academically ahead of their peers. This is no more true
than the assumption that they cannot accommodate the needs of those who are
academically behind their peers. In point of fact, public schools deal with
children in a single grade with a range of academic skills and needs on a
daily basis. Some of them do it better than others, of course, but the fact
remains that all children in a single grade in school are not all
learning/performing exactly the same skills because they're not all at
exactly the same level when they get there. That's a fact of life.
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Mr. Congeniality (7), the Diva (5) and the Race Car Fanatic (3)

I have PMS and ESP...I'm the bitch who knows everything! (T-shirt slogan)

I would put him into kindergarten and not worry about it. There is more to
just knowing how to count and knowing letters. He needs to be able to pick
them out and know all of the sounds. There is social things going on that
you are not aware of. If he seems bored in kindergarten, then perhaps you
can do something about it then.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

"Stephanie" wrote in message
...
My son is in daycare/preschool. I was talking to his teacher the other
day.
I was asking what skills were expected going into kindergarten after
preschool. The teacher listed knowing shapes, colors and recognizing
letters. Hmmm said I, DS has had that cold for a really long time. Then I
asked what basic skills are expecting going into first grade. She said (in
a
neighboring state in which she used to teach kindergarten) knowing letters
cold, knowing many letter sounds, recognizing numbers. By this account,
academically speaking, my 4yo is ready for first grade. He knows a lot of
whole words that he recognizes on sight. And he is getting more and more
adept at reading words by sounding them out. He does not know any compound
sounds like "ee" and "th" but he is very interested in them. We have
started
talking about them, but he would not be able to tell me what "th" sounds
like. I have not asked him. His math skills are very good. He can count
forever, as long as he is paying attention. He can add small numbers using
his fingers. He enjoys this stuff.

Anyway, he is 4 and will be 5 in december. Meaning, he missed the
kindergarten cut off at our school. I could apply for a cut off waiver,
which apparently is not granted very often in our district. I have to go
speak to the principal for more details.

My concern is that over the normal course of events, he will not be able
to
go to kindergarten until Sept 2006. If he is so acedemically ahead of the
game now, what will things be like then? I have thought to basically
de-emphasize reading and math for now. Some more writing would be fine.
But
maybe I could bring up more science topics which we have been ignoring,
like
how do flowers grow? How do bees make honey, and stuff like that. But even
so, if DS is not reading by Kindergarten I'll be a monkey's uncle.

My point is I am not sure what I should be thinking about in terms of
education options for him. His acedemic ability is not on the same track
as
his social skills. I do not want to advance him acedemically at the
expense
of being able to get along with his peers. I think my folks did that. It
worked out Ok. I am pretty sure I would have been a massive geek anyway.
But
I never did understand what was going on with my own peer group. But I do
not want learning and school to be boring and drudgery all the time. At
some
point, a child sometimes has to do things that they do not want to do. But
I
have visions of learning letter sounds and counting which will be just too
easy for him, and resultant behavioral issues stemming from boredom.

Options may include:

- Do nothing and wait and see how things are when he is eligible for
kindergarten.
- Attempt to get him into kindergarten this September at 4 yo. That's kind
of young, don't you think?
- Plan on homeschooling. This one would be the biggest life departure from
our current scene. But I am working on being more available for this sort
of
thing.

I would say that private schooling is not an option, as I want to reduce
the
family reliance on my income, not increase it.

Ok, I am done rambling now. Anyone have any comments? Thanks!

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...
Stephanie wrote:


My concern is that over the normal course of events, he will not be able
to
go to kindergarten until Sept 2006. If he is so acedemically ahead of
the
game now, what will things be like then? I have thought to basically
de-emphasize reading and math for now. Some more writing would be fine.
But
maybe I could bring up more science topics which we have been ignoring,
like
how do flowers grow? How do bees make honey, and stuff like that. But
even
so, if DS is not reading by Kindergarten I'll be a monkey's uncle.

Just because the criteria for getting into grade X are
somewhat limited doesn't mean that that's all they cover in
grade X-1. There's a whole lot of variation from school district
to school district, but around here, a whole lot of kids are
reading by kindy (and a whole lot aren't). Some go into first
grade barely reading, and others go into first grade reading
very well. They just meet the kids where they are and make
progress from there. It's not perfect, but it's not like
they're going to hold a child who is reading back for the
whole year. They'll usually find a way to accommodate, especially
if you say something about it.
That said, I certainly would not be pushing him academically
at home.



We don't push. We just live. And in the course of doing that, he picks these
things up. Lots of toys are "learning" toys these days, so it is rather hard
to avoid, if one wanted to, which we don't particularly. And he loves
books.

I wouldn't stand in his way if he wants to learn more
about a particular area, but I wouldn't be encouraging it.


What do you mean by this?

There
are *SO* many things he can spend his time with now--science, as
you say, as well as music and dance and other arts and things in
the community and so forth.


Yeah, that's what I mean.

Options may include:

- Do nothing and wait and see how things are when he is eligible for
kindergarten.

That's what I'd do. Both my boys are gifted and neither had
any serious problems being accommodated in kindy (one started at 5 years
7 months and the other at 5 years 1 month). It *could* be a disaster
with a poor teacher, but it is far from necessarily being a disaster.
Any kindy teacher worth his or her salt should be able to accommodate
a wide range of abilities, as that's *very* common in kindy.

- Attempt to get him into kindergarten this September at 4 yo. That's
kind
of young, don't you think?

Yes. Even with more academic kindys, kindy is still *very*
social and a lot about learning all the "school rules." I think it
would likely to him a great disservice to put him in so much younger
than the other kids.


That was my main worry.

- Plan on homeschooling. This one would be the biggest life departure
from
our current scene. But I am working on being more available for this
sort of
thing.

I wouldn't borrow trouble.


It is something we are considering for a host of reasons. But I am curious,
why would you call it borrowing trouble?

Things could still work out just
fine. Unless you want to homeschool for other reasons, I'd reserve
that option for when and if it turns out to be clearly necessary.

Best wishes,
Ericka

Stephanie wrote:

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...

I wouldn't stand in his way if he wants to learn more
about a particular area, but I wouldn't be encouraging it.

What do you mean by this?

I mean that I would let him take the lead in
picking up academic stuff. I wouldn't be suggesting he work
on academics. I wouldn't actively teach him to read. I
would actively search out other interesting, non-academic
things to do together. However, I wouldn't refuse to
answer a question or show him how to do something *he*
wanted to do just because I was trying to slow down the
academic juggernaut.
With kids who are academically precocious, you
have to wage a full out war against making academics
seem like the be all and end all. Because so many
parents are dealing with the opposite set of issues,
there is a *lot* of stuff out there that gives the impression
that academic stuff (and focusing on it) is a Good Thing. Your
son will get a lot of positive reinforcement for being so
smart and will pick up very quickly on the fact that it is
something that his parents value highly. It's easy for him
to decide that academics are his long suit, and they're a
Good Thing, so this is where he will put all his energy and
all that other stuff (where he may not be as precocious)
gets short shrift. Pretty soon, he's fit himself in a
niche and doesn't want to go do other things because they
don't come as easily to him and they're not "his thing."
I'm not suggesting that you somehow try to turn academics
into a bad thing. I'm just suggesting that you work hard
to make sure that he gets a more balanced perspective, which
can be an uphill struggle if you tend to be more academically
inclined yourself.

- Plan on homeschooling. This one would be the biggest life departure
from
our current scene. But I am working on being more available for this
sort of thing.

I wouldn't borrow trouble.

It is something we are considering for a host of reasons. But I am curious,
why would you call it borrowing trouble?

Because you don't know you have a problem as yet.

Best wishes,
Ericka

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...
Stephanie wrote:

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...

I wouldn't stand in his way if he wants to learn more
about a particular area, but I wouldn't be encouraging it.

What do you mean by this?

I mean that I would let him take the lead in
picking up academic stuff. I wouldn't be suggesting he work
on academics. I wouldn't actively teach him to read. I
would actively search out other interesting, non-academic
things to do together. However, I wouldn't refuse to
answer a question or show him how to do something *he*
wanted to do just because I was trying to slow down the
academic juggernaut.


I am not sure I understand the thinking here. I am inclined to assume that
my thinking is not clear, since you often make so much sense to me. But if
he wants to learn it and we (he in particular) are having a good time, I
should attempt to direct our attention elsewhere so that he can be kept to
the same level as other people his age? That's what it sounds like you are
saying. I definitely think that the worl is big, and that there is a lot of
stuff to see and touch and learn. But if I hear you correctly, it sounds
like you think I shoud intentionally steer clear of "acedemic" subjects.
That does not make sense to me.

With kids who are academically precocious, you
have to wage a full out war against making academics
seem like the be all and end all. Because so many
parents are dealing with the opposite set of issues,
there is a *lot* of stuff out there that gives the impression
that academic stuff (and focusing on it) is a Good Thing.

We don't particularly focus on it. He has advanced with precious little
effort from anyone. I am interested in balance.

Your
son will get a lot of positive reinforcement for being so
smart and will pick up very quickly on the fact that it is
something that his parents value highly.


That's not quite on target. I actually have told DH to knock oit off with
the smart comments and focus more on the try comments. Like noticing when he
is trying something challenging is more important than succeeding at
something easy. There is nothing meritorious about doing something well that
comes very easily.


It's easy for him
to decide that academics are his long suit, and they're a
Good Thing, so this is where he will put all his energy and
all that other stuff (where he may not be as precocious)
gets short shrift. Pretty soon, he's fit himself in a
niche and doesn't want to go do other things because they
don't come as easily to him and they're not "his thing."
I'm not suggesting that you somehow try to turn academics
into a bad thing. I'm just suggesting that you work hard
to make sure that he gets a more balanced perspective, which
can be an uphill struggle if you tend to be more academically
inclined yourself.

I think you are assuming there is a lack of balance which may have been
implied, but if so was incorrectly so. There are certainly things he does
less of because of his own disinterest. Ask him to play music, and he will
give you a blank look. Ask him about the solar system, and he will read you
chapter and verse! We go where his interest lead, for the most part. The day
when he has to do things that are dissinteresting are too fast approaching.




- Plan on homeschooling. This one would be the biggest life departure
from
our current scene. But I am working on being more available for this
sort of thing.

I wouldn't borrow trouble.

It is something we are considering for a host of reasons. But I am
curious,
why would you call it borrowing trouble?

Because you don't know you have a problem as yet.


I thank you for your time and willingness to discuss this with me. But I
actually do think this bears thinking about on my part. I may not conclude
to do anything. The fact that myself, all my brothers and sisters and my
husband all faced a situation that seems to be dawning for my son *does*
strike me as more than coincidence. Like all parents, I would like my son to
excel. (Don't I sound like one of those mega pressure parents?) I want him
to excel at being the best him he can be.

The most important lessons that I hope for my children do not necessarily
include being able to read. They are smart enough to read, so it is a
forgone conclusion that they will read unless some other information comes
forth. The most important lessons include giving your best and your all to
achieve the things you want to achieve, being able to face challenges
without shrinking in fear of failure. Being willing to try, fail and then
try again. These are lessons that I think are easier learned early in life.

I think I hear what you are saying to me. That I run the risk of being an
overbearing parent who is trying to *see* a gifted child whether there is
one there or not. I hear you (or I hear myself if you were not saying that).
I am cautious of that. But that is not really what I am about. I am trying
to think in my mind what would be the best set of learning experiences for
my son. Then, if I can imagine what that is, I can see how close things are
to my image. I am not expressing this very well.

What I do not think is that I am limited to what the public schools have to
offer. I do not think I need to wait until they determine my kids are old
enough or know enough or whatever and sort of sit back and wait for them to
tell me what constitutes education. This paragraph probably bears a little
background explanation, with some apologies to some of the excellent
educators in this group. Where I come from there were precious few excellent
educators. My mom was a teacher at a good private school for a lot of years.
She then eventually moved into the public school system. She had to leave in
disgust at what constituted education in the public schools. So I am pretty
biased, I suspect. But also, it seems unlikely that you can take a large
number of kids (depending on their age) with nothing in common but their
age, stick them in a room with one or two adults, and teach each kid to
*their* needs and abilities. Don't get me wrong, I am not blaming teachers.
They do the best that they can, and better than I could, under pretty tough
circumstances. But until such time as society values the excellence of
education more highly than it does, then we will continue to fail to provide
the resources necessary to get the excellence part of the job done.

I don't want my children to get lost in that shuffle.

I have probably said too much. I hope I did not offend anyone. I certainly
did not mean to, but I am good at it nonetheless.

"Stephanie" wrote in message
...
There are certainly things he does
less of because of his own disinterest. Ask him to play music, and he will
give you a blank look. Ask him about the solar system, and he will read
you
chapter and verse! We go where his interest lead, for the most part. The
day
when he has to do things that are dissinteresting are too fast
approaching.

I think it is a bit worrisome that you presume that school will include many
subjects that will be uninteresting to him. That does not necessarily have
to be the case and, indeed, for most well-rounded, academically gifted
children, almost all of school is a pleasure. (It certainly was for me until
I got into middle school.) Elementary school teachers generally love
academically precocious children who are easy to teach (which means that
some gifted kids who are hard to teach because they have issues like ADHD
sometimes get short-shrift, but that's a separate issue!) and cater to them
quite a bit. The kids with identified problems at the other end of the
spectrum also get a lot of attention. It's the ones in the middle who tend
to get the least direct attention.

Because you don't know you have a problem as yet.

I thank you for your time and willingness to discuss this with me. But I
actually do think this bears thinking about on my part. I may not conclude
to do anything. The fact that myself, all my brothers and sisters and my
husband all faced a situation that seems to be dawning for my son *does*
strike me as more than coincidence. Like all parents, I would like my son
to
excel. (Don't I sound like one of those mega pressure parents?) I want him
to excel at being the best him he can be.

The problem that I see is that you are trying to make a decision about
something that isn't happening yet based on information you don't have. Your
son appears to be very gifted academically. That doesn't mean, however, that
he's doomed to be bored in school if he started kindergarten when the school
district says he should or that his teachers won't provide him with
challenging and interesting material to learn once they see and understand
his strengths and potential. And, to be honest, it doesn't seem entirely
clear to me that you even know yet what the kindergarten curriculum is in
your state/school district/school, so it's very hard for me to see that it's
rational to assume that it will all be too easy and dull for him. Beyond
that, if he is academically gifted, he will certainly be identified as
gifted before he enters the third grade, at which point, he will have access
to gifted/talented programs. These programs exist precisely to serve
children like your son and do an excellent job, overall, of providing
challenging and interesting learning experiences to gifted/talented
students.

IOW, it seems to me that you can't really make a decision about what
situation will allow your son to be the best he can be until you have more
information. I think by bringing up homeschooling as an option before you've
even fully explored what your public school's policies and programs are is,
at a minimum, jumping the gun, unless there are other reasons you want to
homeschool anyway. (In which case, don't make your son's apparent giftedness
an excuse, but homeschool because that's what you want to do.)

Being willing to try, fail and then
try again. These are lessons that I think are easier learned early in
life.

Which is one reason that steering him to try things he's not necessarily all
that interested in (like music, just as a fer instance) in addition to,
though not at the expense of, the things he *is* interested in might be a
good idea.

I think I hear what you are saying to me. That I run the risk of being an
overbearing parent who is trying to *see* a gifted child whether there is
one there or not. I hear you (or I hear myself if you were not saying
that).

I don't think that's what she's saying at all and I don't think it's somethi
ng you should say to yourself, either. The thing is, if your child is
gifted, he's gifted. What *grade* he's in won't make him any more or less
gifted, if you see what I mean. I mean, yes, I suppose if you put a gifted
5yo in a second grade class, the standard curriculum is more likely to be
challenging for him. On the other hand, there would be significant social
and psychological issues to being the only 5yo in a class full of 7 and
8yo's that might well mean he'd be better off in a kindergarten classroom
getting a supplemented curriculum. Either way, he'd still be gifted!

I am cautious of that. But that is not really what I am about. I am trying
to think in my mind what would be the best set of learning experiences for
my son. Then, if I can imagine what that is, I can see how close things
are
to my image. I am not expressing this very well.

Nah, you're expressing it fine. I just think you don't know enough about the
learning experiences being offered by your public school to judge whether or
not it's going to be close to your image or not.

What I do not think is that I am limited to what the public schools have
to
offer. I do not think I need to wait until they determine my kids are old
enough or know enough or whatever and sort of sit back and wait for them
to
tell me what constitutes education. This paragraph probably bears a little
background explanation, with some apologies to some of the excellent
educators in this group. Where I come from there were precious few
excellent
educators. My mom was a teacher at a good private school for a lot of
years.
She then eventually moved into the public school system. She had to leave
in
disgust at what constituted education in the public schools. So I am
pretty
biased, I suspect.

You are g. And your bias is leading you to assume that homeschooling would
be better for your child than public schooling. Honestly, it's fine to have
that bias. I just think that looking at your child's relative level of
academic ability shouldn't have *anything* to do with that decision. After
all, as you said below, it doesn't really matter exactly *what* any child's
abilities a a teacher can't (in your opinion) teach to the abilities and
needs of each individual child.

But also, it seems unlikely that you can take a large
number of kids (depending on their age) with nothing in common but their
age, stick them in a room with one or two adults, and teach each kid to
*their* needs and abilities. Don't get me wrong, I am not blaming
teachers.
They do the best that they can, and better than I could, under pretty
tough
circumstances. But until such time as society values the excellence of
education more highly than it does, then we will continue to fail to
provide
the resources necessary to get the excellence part of the job done.

I don't want my children to get lost in that shuffle.

I think you've said all you need to. Whether I agree with you or not is
irrelevant. You don't trust the public school system to provide your child
with an excellent education. You want to homeschool. So do it.
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Mr. Congeniality (7), the Diva (5) and the Race Car Fanatic (3)

I have PMS and ESP...I'm the bitch who knows everything! (T-shirt slogan)