raising the grandkids

I am 50 years old and I have 3 grown children. I have always told my kids
that when they have children, not to expect grandma to offer free
babysitting as I have "done my time"



I have one granddaughter who is 9. She stays over night about 4 times a
year, that is enough for me as I find it hard work. My married daughter has
been a SAHM for 9 years and now wants to return to college. She is having a
problem with childcare and needs someone to take care of my granddaughter 1
day a week after school. She can afford childcare, but there are no places
in any of the after school programs for around 6 months.



She asked me if I would pick her up from school one day a week for around 6
months till the after school program has places. I told her no and that her
child is her respoibility. My daughter seems angered by this as neither me
nor my husband work anymore (my husband recently took early retirement) and
seems to think I "owe" her some of my free time. My husband thinks we should
do it as it is only for 6 months, but I told him that isn't the point. If I
do this now, when my other children have their own kids they will also
expect free babysitting and it just isn't happening.



How do you explain to grown kids that grandma is done raising kids,
especially when so many grandmas seem to spend their own lives raising their
grandkids?

Joan wrote:

I am 50 years old and I have 3 grown children. I have always told my kids
that when they have children, not to expect grandma to offer free
babysitting as I have "done my time"

I have one granddaughter who is 9. She stays over night about 4 times a
year, that is enough for me as I find it hard work. My married daughter has
been a SAHM for 9 years and now wants to return to college. She is having a
problem with childcare and needs someone to take care of my granddaughter 1
day a week after school. She can afford childcare, but there are no places
in any of the after school programs for around 6 months.

She asked me if I would pick her up from school one day a week for around 6
months till the after school program has places. I told her no and that her
child is her respoibility. My daughter seems angered by this as neither me
nor my husband work anymore (my husband recently took early retirement) and
seems to think I "owe" her some of my free time. My husband thinks we should
do it as it is only for 6 months, but I told him that isn't the point. If I
do this now, when my other children have their own kids they will also
expect free babysitting and it just isn't happening.

How do you explain to grown kids that grandma is done raising kids,
especially when so many grandmas seem to spend their own lives raising their
grandkids?
-------------
You had kids, now you shut the **** up and take the consequences,
you'll need the extra hands of your children's children as you
grow old, to do more and more humiliating things for you and take
care of you, and you're not done paying the bill yet, so get used to
it, and next time you're born, remember to have your tubes tied.
Steve

Now I am not a grandparent; I am only a parent. But, I gotta ask why in the
world is this grandparent not thrilled at the prospect of helping out her
daughter by taking care of her granddaughter just one day a week. Even your
husband doesn't seem to mind it for six months. She's nine years old. It's
not like you have to change her diapers or anything. I would be crushed if
my grandmother didn't want to pick me up after school just one day a week
and spend time with me. Where and how are you going to establish any kind of
special relationship with her if you find this hard work. Then again, you
said you have done your time. Maybe they will be better off finding someone
else. By the way, my grandmother passed away when I was in my 20's. How I
wish I had had some kind of special relationship with her. I will make sure
to make up for that with my own grandkids some day. I really wish you would
rethink your position. If not for your, for your granddaughter.

Susan

"Joan" wrote in message
...
I am 50 years old and I have 3 grown children. I have always told my kids
that when they have children, not to expect grandma to offer free
babysitting as I have "done my time"



I have one granddaughter who is 9. She stays over night about 4 times a
year, that is enough for me as I find it hard work. My married daughter
has
been a SAHM for 9 years and now wants to return to college. She is having
a
problem with childcare and needs someone to take care of my granddaughter
1
day a week after school. She can afford childcare, but there are no places
in any of the after school programs for around 6 months.



She asked me if I would pick her up from school one day a week for around
6
months till the after school program has places. I told her no and that
her
child is her respoibility. My daughter seems angered by this as neither me
nor my husband work anymore (my husband recently took early retirement)
and
seems to think I "owe" her some of my free time. My husband thinks we
should
do it as it is only for 6 months, but I told him that isn't the point. If
I
do this now, when my other children have their own kids they will also
expect free babysitting and it just isn't happening.



How do you explain to grown kids that grandma is done raising kids,
especially when so many grandmas seem to spend their own lives raising
their
grandkids?

"R. Steve Walz" wrote in message
...
You had kids, now you shut the **** up and take the consequences,
you'll need the extra hands of your children's children as you
grow old, to do more and more humiliating things for you and take
care of you, and you're not done paying the bill yet, so get used to
it, and next time you're born, remember to have your tubes tied.
Steve

Bull****. Once they are 21 they are NOT my responsibility. And neither are
their kids.

Joan wrote:

"R. Steve Walz" wrote in message
...
You had kids, now you shut the **** up and take the consequences,
you'll need the extra hands of your children's children as you
grow old, to do more and more humiliating things for you and take
care of you, and you're not done paying the bill yet, so get used to
it, and next time you're born, remember to have your tubes tied.
Steve

Bull****. Once they are 21 they are NOT my responsibility.
And neither are their kids.
---------------------
Then when you're not theirs and wish you were,
you'll finally know better, dumb bitch.
Steve

"R. Steve Walz" wrote in message
...
Joan wrote:

"R. Steve Walz" wrote in message
...
You had kids, now you shut the **** up and take the consequences,
you'll need the extra hands of your children's children as you
grow old, to do more and more humiliating things for you and take
care of you, and you're not done paying the bill yet, so get used to
it, and next time you're born, remember to have your tubes tied.
Steve

Bull****. Once they are 21 they are NOT my responsibility.
And neither are their kids.
---------------------
Then when you're not theirs and wish you were,
you'll finally know better, dumb bitch.
Steve

I do not expect my kids to take responsibility for me when I am old. I have
the money to pay for full time care if need be. I am responsible for myself.
Hell, I don't even expect my husband to wipe my ass and I certainly wont be
wiping his.

Joan wrote:

"R. Steve Walz" wrote in message
...
Joan wrote:

"R. Steve Walz" wrote in message
...
You had kids, now you shut the **** up and take the consequences,
you'll need the extra hands of your children's children as you
grow old, to do more and more humiliating things for you and take
care of you, and you're not done paying the bill yet, so get used to
it, and next time you're born, remember to have your tubes tied.
Steve

Bull****. Once they are 21 they are NOT my responsibility.
And neither are their kids.
---------------------
Then when you're not theirs and wish you were,
you'll finally know better, dumb bitch.
Steve

I do not expect my kids to take responsibility for me when I am old. I have
the money to pay for full time care if need be. I am responsible for myself.
Hell, I don't even expect my husband to wipe my ass and I certainly wont be
wiping his.
-------------------------
You don't seem to get it, sure, YOU can pay stranger's grandkids for
your care, but you're reliant on them! And then, someone else will just
have to pay YOUR kids for THEIR care. It's the same thing, you're just
convinced that money separates you from dependence on others, and
it doesn't, all it does is formalize it.
Steve

"dejablues" wrote in message
...
Joan wrote:

snip

I think you're a troll.

You are threatened by an older lady having some fun. I like a beer and a
smoke so i must be a troll. What's up moo, don't u ever party anymore?

I cant believe the resentment in here.
Grandma wants a life. Why is that so bad?

Joan wrote:

snip

I think you're a troll. This is about the third time this year where
someone posted a childcare dilemma to various newsgroups, using a throwaway
email address and using all the lingo as a first-time poster. The situation
always involves a nine-year-old child (remember the nine-year-old boy who
needed his mom to get his bath ready? Ian? Jamie? Other handles? The "earn
good money" catchphrase?) ,a mother returning to work or school, the
non-necessity of her decision, and the put-out party being resentful of it.
Then "Joan" will disappear as quickly as "she" came.
Am I the only one seeing a pattern here?

Joan wrote:


"dejablues" wrote in message
...
Joan wrote:

snip

I think you're a troll.

You are threatened by an older lady having some fun. I like a beer and a
smoke so i must be a troll. What's up moo, don't u ever party anymore?

I cant believe the resentment in here.
Grandma wants a life. Why is that so bad?

Tada! I get the prize! ALL HAIL ME!