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explaining a pet death



 
 
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  #1  
Old August 24th 05, 05:39 PM
middletree
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Default explaining a pet death

My twins are about to turn 4 on the 11th of next month. The cat has been
around since long before they were born. They knew to keep their distance
from the cat at first, as she had no desire to interact with them. But
lately, she's mellowed out and let them (as well as our 18-month-old) pet
her. They're starting to get attached to her.

Well, I took her to the vet yesterday, and she possibly has diabetes. It's
complicated, but the bottom line is, she may have to be put to sleep, and
she may not. I am posting this to ask what other parents do when this
happens, especially at this age. If they were older, they'd understand it.
If they were younger, like my toddler, no explanation would be needed.

If I explain to them that she's very sick and has to be put down, then I
take her to the vet to do that, then they will get a negative impression of
doctors, and might also freak out whenever they or I get sick. I obviously
cannot sneak the cat out of the house and offer no explanation. It's gonna
be tough.


  #2  
Old August 25th 05, 02:08 AM
Cindy Wells
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"middletree" wrote in
eenews.net:

My twins are about to turn 4 on the 11th of next month.

snip

If I explain to them that she's very sick and has to be put down, then
I take her to the vet to do that, then they will get a negative
impression of doctors, and might also freak out whenever they or I get
sick. I obviously cannot sneak the cat out of the house and offer no
explanation. It's gonna be tough.


Leave out the part about putting down kitty and replace it with "the vet
may not be able to treat her because she's so old".

Cindy Wells
(I don't think they'd get as negative an impression esp. if you include
something about the lifespan of the housecat. I know big dogs are
elderly by age 7 but I'm not clear on the values for cats.)




  #3  
Old August 25th 05, 03:17 PM
Ellen
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I would definitely not tell them that the cat is being put down. We
went through this a few years back with my parents' dog, who my DD was
very close to. All we told her was that he was very old and sick and
he died because of that. I know if we had tried to tell her about
putting the dog to sleep, we would have heard "You killed him!" I just
don't think that four-year olds can understand why this is a humane
thing to do to a pet! Because the kids will know you are taking the
cat to the vet, you may just want to tell them that the vet tried very
hard to make her better, but she died while she was there. That is all
they need to know until they are older.

I am sorry your beloved cat is sick

Ellen

  #4  
Old August 26th 05, 01:12 AM
Julie
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James --

Sorry you're going through this. Losing a pet is never easy.

I agree with Cindy and Ellen. They're too young to process the idea of
putting a pet down. In a couple of years they might be able to understand
that, but not at barely four. Keep it simple. And though I could be wrong,
they might actually surprise you and not take it too hard anyway. That's
sort of a gray area age in terms of dealing with that sort of thing.

We've been discussing this with our two as well, as our dog is now fifteen,
and though he's still quite happy, we (and they) know that he won't live
forever. Our kids are eight now, though, and able to understand issues such
as quality of life that a four-year-old wouldn't be able to grasp as
readily.

Off topic here, but Cindy, our dog would beg to differ about seven being
"elderly"! At seven, our dog was in his prime, often doing twenty-mile
hikes with us. Even as recently as last fall, at age fourteen, he was still
doing eight to ten miles.


  #5  
Old August 26th 05, 04:01 AM
mt
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Ellen and others:

Thanks. I never thought of that. Just telling them that she died is good
enough, without stating that I played a part in it. And it will be truthful,
because the cat will die of her diabetes in pretty short order if nothing is
done.

I was supposed to take her for a 2nd blood test, for confirmation, today
after work, but I had to work late. Will try again tomorrow.


  #6  
Old August 26th 05, 05:20 AM
Cindy Wells
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"Julie" wrote in
:

snip

Off topic here, but Cindy, our dog would beg to differ about seven
being "elderly"! At seven, our dog was in his prime, often doing
twenty-mile hikes with us. Even as recently as last fall, at age
fourteen, he was still doing eight to ten miles.


For simplicity, I was using the 7 dog years per one human year (which
holds true more for the puppy than the adult dog) correlation.

It does depend a lot on the breed and the individual. My family tends to
have German Shep's and the first one I knew died at 8. The others
started getting arthritis issues around that same age but lived to 12-13
years.
Cindy Wells
(Both arthritis cases were related to injuries, not genetics - one got
hit by a car and the other kicked by a mule. They both had other age
related issues develop after that - so we had lots of quality of life
discussions.)
)




 




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