Back again, and worried

Hi all...

Some of you I remember from my last visit here, about a year and a
half ago. (Congratulations, JennP, what a story!) Well, I'm back! I
just got a positive pg test yesterday. This is number three for me,
and I had planned it. But since I did the test, I've been sick to my
stomach and terrified. I'm afraid I'm tempting fate, and there may be
something wrong with this baby. I'm scared I'm screwing up the
chemistry in the family of four we have, and stealing my little boy's
babyhood from him. I'm worried about money and the fact my wonderful
sitter probably won't be taking any more kids. It's terrible, but
after the inital rush of satisfaction I felt at the thought of another
baby, I'm feeling like maybe I only wanted two after all. Please tell
me someone else has had misgivings after a positive test...and tell me
it worked out great for you and your precious third (or fourth, or
fifth...).

L.A.

"L.A.Power" wrote:

Some of you I remember from my last visit here, about a year and a
half ago. (Congratulations, JennP, what a story!) Well, I'm back! I
just got a positive pg test yesterday. This is number three for me,
and I had planned it. But since I did the test, I've been sick to my
stomach and terrified. I'm afraid I'm tempting fate, and there may be
something wrong with this baby. I'm scared I'm screwing up the
chemistry in the family of four we have, and stealing my little boy's
babyhood from him. I'm worried about money and the fact my wonderful
sitter probably won't be taking any more kids. It's terrible, but
after the inital rush of satisfaction I felt at the thought of another
baby, I'm feeling like maybe I only wanted two after all. Please tell
me someone else has had misgivings after a positive test...and tell me
it worked out great for you and your precious third (or fourth, or
fifth...).

This isn't exactly the same perspective but it may help a bit.

Just as background info: I am currently 18years old (I've been around here
for a while and I definitely recognize your name- the story of how I got
here is a bit complex but nonetheless, I'm here!) and this all occurred when
I was 13/14.

My parents had agreed on 4 kids from day one. By 1993 they had their 4 kids.
My mom then found out in July/August of 1999 that she was pregnant! My mom
was 42, both of my parents were deeply involved in their full-time careers,
we planned vacations that we were waiting to take until the youngest was old
enough, my parents were getting excited at the prospects of kids beginning
to graduate from grade school and high school, we were a very busy and
involved family. They were a bit crushed. We had to buy a new car, get a new
house, cancel the trips and change our lives around. It was a huge
adjustment because my youngest sister was 7 when the baby was born and we
had moved beyond all of the baby/toddler things. My mom cried and cried for
days about it. She did not resent the baby, she had just thought her life
was so comfortable and perfect. They did not tell us until October and we
all got VERY excited which helped my mom to put things into perspective.
That baby is now 4 years old and she is THE most incredible person in
the entire world (okay, I'm biased). She is absolutely amazing in the things
she says and does. She makes you happy to come home from work/school every
day. She makes you laugh. She gives you the BEST hugs and kisses. She loves
to tell you about her dance class or school. She wants to play with you. She
has a great sense of humor. She is energetic. Every time I look at her I
realize that that little thing has more love inside of her than anyone else
I know. It is truly an amazing thing. I can't even begin to imagine what our
lives would be like without her. You see, we thought we had it so perfect
before- but THIS is so perfect. Our lives would have been so dull. She truly
completes us as individuals and as a family. No, the circumstances weren't
the best and we worried about health problems and the like, but the end
result is something that is irreplaceable and essential in our lives.
I purposely stayed in my same city for college and actually just ended
up moving back home about a month ago. Part of that decision was how hard it
was for me to be away from my little sister.
Chin up, LA. I am a firm believer that everything will work out in the
end in a way that was seen best for you and your family. I know that you
will be just as lucky as we were with your child. It is hard to imagine how
things could be any better than they are now- and it's easy to just give in
to thinking that means it would have to be worse- but that is not the case.
You're right, you will have to make sacrifices as will the rest of your
family but in the realm of things, those sacrifices become null and void
when you see that beautiful face.

((((((((HUGS))))))))

-Kara.

I'd love to hear that story someday when you have time (if you want to
share!)
"Kara H" wrote in message news:cY6id.18

I've been around here for a while and...the story of how I got here is a bit
complex but nonetheless, I'm here!)

"CY" wrote:

I'd love to hear that story someday when you have time (if you want to
share!)

Well it is not as complex as I made it sound really- it's just sort of,
well, interesting would have been a better word. What happened was when my
mom was pregnant with said baby, she had come to MKP to ask a question. I
didn't even know what a newsgroup was! At that point we only had one
computer and she had just used the computer and left MKP up. I started
reading it and was very interested. I had always thought I wanted to be a
doctor and if I was going to be a doctor, I would be an OB (don't worry-
from MKP I had created do's and don'ts sort of list but I have since
realized after a semester in college that medicine is not for me. However,
the interest I have for pregnancy/childbirth is still there so I will find a
way to express that. Anyway, back to the story. I eventually realized I
could get to the newsgroup from the e-mail account and I started reading
daily. Eventually I started posting but I only posted to threads about
products and names, etc b/c I really couldn't give advice since I have not
been there. My parents didn't mind that I read MKP since it was an outlet
for my interests, but I just wasn't allowed to give out my age. I shared
private e-mails with lots of people though and made sure they knew just so
they didn't have false pretenses or anything like that and everyone was okay
with that. I was careful not to try to be someone I wasn't. Around 16 or 17
I knew enough about usenet and how to read people and such on there that I
felt comfortable letting people know in the newsgroups. I hated feeling like
I was hiding something but I really wasn't, you know? I would have gladly
told them in e-mails, I just was not allowed to say it over usenet. So
anyway, that was over 5 years ago and I'm still here. It has a lot to do
with sticking around for people who were here when I was first here and then
someone else getting pregnant and then while you are waiting for them you
become involved and interested about all of the new people who have come in
that time....you just CAN'T leave!!!!

Lol. So that's that. I hope it was worth the read.

-Kara.

Well, I'm having baby #1 so it's not exactly the same -- but I have to
admit, when I first found out I was pregnant, my initial response was more
fear and trepidation than elation. We weren't planning on getting
pregnant right at that moment (we wanted to wait another year or two), and
I was really afraid that the baby would disrupt the relationship between
me and my husband -- I *liked* (and still like, I admit) it only being the
two of us. So I can relate with your fear of "screwing up the family
chemistry we have" -- I'm excited and happy now (and so is he), but at
times I'm still worried about what my and my husband's relationship is
going to look like after this one's born. I'll tell you in a month if it
worked out great!! (Umm, or maybe in a year... or two... or
eighteen... hehe)

Em
baby boy, due Nov. 18

L.A.Power wrote:

Hi all...

Some of you I remember from my last visit here, about a year and a
half ago. (Congratulations, JennP, what a story!) Well, I'm back! I
just got a positive pg test yesterday. This is number three for me,
and I had planned it. But since I did the test, I've been sick to my
stomach and terrified. I'm afraid I'm tempting fate, and there may be
something wrong with this baby. I'm scared I'm screwing up the
chemistry in the family of four we have, and stealing my little boy's
babyhood from him. I'm worried about money and the fact my wonderful
sitter probably won't be taking any more kids. It's terrible, but
after the inital rush of satisfaction I felt at the thought of another
baby, I'm feeling like maybe I only wanted two after all. Please tell
me someone else has had misgivings after a positive test...and tell me
it worked out great for you and your precious third (or fourth, or
fifth...).

I think your feelings are very normal, especially the part
about tempting fate. I certainly had some of those feelings, and
#3 worked out great for us. (I didn't worry about messing up
#2's babyhood, as he was nearly six years old, but I did worry
about what displacing him as the baby would do.) There are
challenges, of course, but overall we're very pleased. Take
heart--this is probably just your fear of the unknown speaking.

Best wishes,
Ericka

L.A.Power wrote:

But since I did the test, I've been sick to my
stomach and terrified.

It's very normal, someone even coined a name for it, 3rd child syndrome
or something, I read an article about it once it was very interesting.
The more healthy pregnancies and babies you have the more you think your
number must be up soon and something is bound to go wrong. It seems to
peak at baby 3 for some reason.

Andrea

Kara H wrote:


I am currently 18years old

You're just showing off now ;-)

Andrea (35 going on 60)

"Unadulterated Me" wrote:L

You're just showing off now ;-)

Bahahha! You all might kill me but there are times when I wish I was 30. I
hate all this school stuff and blah blah blah! Want to trade? Lol.

Andrea (35 going on 60)

Oh stop! You look like you are in your 20s missy!!!

Two random questions, but while I have you....
1. Are you still doing your art pieces? I *love* your work! If you post new
ones on your site or anything, let me know because I would really love to
see them!

2. Did you draw any conclusions from the name thread? Lol.

-Kara.

Oh, yeah, I always feel that way! Because, you know, a new family member does
mean change, and the "death" of the family you had before. There's always a
little bit of grief involved in the process for me--I'm going through it now
with the arrival of number five imminent, thinking about the displacement of my
pampered almost-four-year-old. But it will work out for us, and for you, and
we will all adjust, and before you know it you won't be able to imagine life
without your new addition!


Leslie

Emily (2/4/91)
Jake (1/27/94)
Teddy (2/15/95)
William (3/5/01 -- VBA3C, 13 lbs. 5 oz.)
and Lorelei, expected 11/2/04

"Children come trailing clouds of glory from God, which is their home."
~ William Wordsworth