Send to a daycare or not

Mt 15 month has started going to a home daycare. She likes playing with
the kids but cries a lot (literally screaming and calling us) when we
leave her there or even in between . She has not yet adjusted to eating
properly over there. The main reasons I wanted her to go to a daycare
rather than a nanny is because she loves being with kids and she is a
picky eater so she might learn eating good food when with other kids.
Before this I had been watching her andbeofre my mother-in-law or some
family member. She has a lot of separation anxiety because last few
months she was mostly with me and my husband. I also wanted to send her
to a daycare since her social skills might improve. When I was a kid -
I went directly to school at 4 and it was very difficult..from what my
mom says..I ddnot have social skills and use to cry all day for many
months. Keeping that in mind - I am all the more anxious to send her to
a daycare soon but it is being hard on her. I am worried if I am taking
teh right decision? If I wait and send her directly to pre-school will
that be more difficult than now? Because in home daycare - she will get
more attention than in a pre-school.Will a year later help her handle
separation stress better? What would you - experienced parents -
recommend?
Thanks in advance.

"Mommy Mommy" wrote in message
ps.com...
Mt 15 month has started going to a home daycare. She likes playing with
the kids but cries a lot (literally screaming and calling us) when we
leave her there or even in between . She has not yet adjusted to eating
properly over there. The main reasons I wanted her to go to a daycare
rather than a nanny is because she loves being with kids and she is a
picky eater so she might learn eating good food when with other kids.
Before this I had been watching her andbeofre my mother-in-law or some
family member. She has a lot of separation anxiety because last few
months she was mostly with me and my husband. I also wanted to send her
to a daycare since her social skills might improve. When I was a kid -
I went directly to school at 4 and it was very difficult..from what my
mom says..I ddnot have social skills and use to cry all day for many
months. Keeping that in mind - I am all the more anxious to send her to
a daycare soon but it is being hard on her. I am worried if I am taking
teh right decision? If I wait and send her directly to pre-school will
that be more difficult than now? Because in home daycare - she will get
more attention than in a pre-school.Will a year later help her handle
separation stress better? What would you - experienced parents -
recommend?
Thanks in advance.

I wouldn't worry about her social skills at 15 months, they don't really
have them! Also at that age I don't think it's likely to effect her eating
either. If those are your only reasons for sending her to day care then I'd
take her out.
Yes, a year should make some difference to separation as they can understand
better then, but it still doesn't guarantee it.
I'd recommend closer to 3 for social building, and she's more likely to
build them in small group situations with mummy in the background. Try
inviting friends back who have children of the same age. You're then there
to advise them, help them, and step in if things get too difficult, which
gives them some confidence. In my experience that's a better way to build
them up.
Debbie

Mommy Mommy wrote:
Mt 15 month has started going to a home daycare. She likes playing with
the kids but cries a lot (literally screaming and calling us) when we
leave her there or even in between . She has not yet adjusted to eating
properly over there. The main reasons I wanted her to go to a daycare
rather than a nanny is because she loves being with kids and she is a
picky eater so she might learn eating good food when with other kids.
Before this I had been watching her andbeofre my mother-in-law or some
family member. She has a lot of separation anxiety because last few
months she was mostly with me and my husband. I also wanted to send her
to a daycare since her social skills might improve. When I was a kid -
I went directly to school at 4 and it was very difficult..from what my
mom says..I ddnot have social skills and use to cry all day for many
months. Keeping that in mind - I am all the more anxious to send her to
a daycare soon but it is being hard on her. I am worried if I am taking
teh right decision? If I wait and send her directly to pre-school will
that be more difficult than now? Because in home daycare - she will get
more attention than in a pre-school.Will a year later help her handle
separation stress better? What would you - experienced parents -
recommend?

I think that the vast majority of kids will
adjust with a good, supportive effort, so if you want
to keep her in her current daycare and you feel that
the daycare and provider are good, I don't think there's
any harm in doing that and working through the issue now.
That said, if your main goal is school
readiness, I also don't think there's any problem
with waiting until she's two or three years old to
start preschool. It may be easier to start her when
she's older and more verbal and more able to understand.
Much of this is developmental, so what she has to
learn and do to be successful at going to daycare
now is different from what she'll have to do at two
or three years old. Just because it's challenging
now doesn't mean it will be as bad or worse later.

Best wishes,
Ericka

Thanks Debbie and Ericka. How bad it is to let a child cry at the day
care? She is screaming for a while everyday and maybe whining and
crying off an on. She is going there just for few hours but it is
difficult to let her cry even those hours. I hear that this is the way
kids adjust to their separation anxiety. But is it bad for them? We
have always done attachment parenting and just worried of this impact
to our little one.
Please let me know what you think.
Thanks so much in advance.

Mommy Mommy wrote:
Thanks Debbie and Ericka. How bad it is to let a child cry at the day
care? She is screaming for a while everyday and maybe whining and
crying off an on. She is going there just for few hours but it is
difficult to let her cry even those hours. I hear that this is the way
kids adjust to their separation anxiety. But is it bad for them? We
have always done attachment parenting and just worried of this impact
to our little one.

I don't think that crying in and of itself is
inherently damaging. I think it depends on how the
crying is responded to. How does the daycare provider
respond? How long has it been? Has there been any
change?

Best wishes,
Ericka

"Welches" wrote in message
...

"Mommy Mommy" wrote in message
ps.com...
Mt 15 month has started going to a home daycare. She likes playing with
the kids but cries a lot (literally screaming and calling us) when we
leave her there or even in between . She has not yet adjusted to eating
properly over there. The main reasons I wanted her to go to a daycare
rather than a nanny is because she loves being with kids and she is a
picky eater so she might learn eating good food when with other kids.
......
I wouldn't worry about her social skills at 15 months, they don't really
have them! Also at that age I don't think it's likely to effect her eating
either. If those are your only reasons for sending her to day care then
I'd
take her out.
...

Not necessarily. My now 18 month old eats MUCH better at PDO than at home.
She's always been an observer first, who would try things only after seeing
another child do them (the only times she ever voluntarily TRIED to nurse
was when she saw other babies doing it-and this is a child for whom I'm
still pumping because she refused to try to nurse again after the first few
weeks where she kept trying and got nothing due to her motor tone issues).
So, for her it does make a difference, and did starting at about the time
she moved up an age group and started having lunch when the other kids were
eating too. It's not enough for me to have her in care more than the two
mornings a week I teach, but it is one reason why I try to schedule lots of
playdates which incorporate food.

"Mommy Mommy" wrote in message
ups.com...
Thanks Debbie and Ericka. How bad it is to let a child cry at the day
care? She is screaming for a while everyday and maybe whining and
crying off an on. She is going there just for few hours but it is
difficult to let her cry even those hours. I hear that this is the way
kids adjust to their separation anxiety. But is it bad for them? We
have always done attachment parenting and just worried of this impact
to our little one.
Please let me know what you think.
Thanks so much in advance.

Is she truly crying the entire time, or even whiny the entire time, or is it
that she pitches a fit when you leave, then settles down? Right about at 15
months, Alli started fussing seriously when I dropped her off at PDO-but,
usually by the time I got out of the room and around to the window, she'd
have settled down, only to start fussing the second she saw me or heard my
voice (but again, if I watched outside before coming in, she'd be fine). 15
month olds can be master manipulators. Most DCPs will call you if your child
is fussy or cranky for any extended period of time, and I can't imagine
letting a baby whine and cry for hours on end when you have other children
to care for. Certainly, my daughter's PDO teachers don't-the written policy
is that they may call the parent and request that a child be picked up if
they cry for more than 5 minutes straight (although I know that they've got
more tolerance than that, especially with tantrumming toddlers), and I've
been called several times when Alli was just a bit whiny for extended
periods of time, because they were concerned about possible illness.

I think a daycare is not so bad if the intention is to make your child
be more sociable.

So far, what I do is always take my Hannah to places where she can meet
many kids, such as in a park or my pal's home (i have some pals who
have more than 2 kids ). I think that's how she learns her social
kids.

Maybe later on she has a sibling, i put her to one, just to ease my job
as a mom, btw I'm a working from home mom.

About the crying, she'll get over it, trust me, my SIL's daughter
needed half a month adjustment...just be patient...

cheers,
nina
http://asweetnectarwomb.lipblogs.com

Dear Mommy Mommy,
All moms' advice here is so wise. But if you're not sure to leave your
DD to a daycare yet... I mean, not really sure about it, I think a
toddler/baby group is a good idea.

You can create a group of some friends with kids around your kid's age.
Arrange meetings with them several times a week. When you think you DD
is comfortable with them, I think it's a good time for the daycare.

What do you think? Hope it helps.

Cheers,
CinnamonLeaf
http://cinnamonleaf.lipblogs.com

Mommy Mommy wrote:
Mt 15 month has started going to a home daycare. She likes playing with
the kids but cries a lot (literally screaming and calling us) when we
leave her there or even in between . She has not yet adjusted to eating
properly over there. The main reasons I wanted her to go to a daycare
rather than a nanny is because she loves being with kids and she is a
picky eater so she might learn eating good food when with other kids.
Before this I had been watching her andbeofre my mother-in-law or some
family member. She has a lot of separation anxiety because last few
months she was mostly with me and my husband. I also wanted to send her
to a daycare since her social skills might improve. When I was a kid -
I went directly to school at 4 and it was very difficult..from what my
mom says..I ddnot have social skills and use to cry all day for many
months. Keeping that in mind - I am all the more anxious to send her to
a daycare soon but it is being hard on her. I am worried if I am taking
teh right decision? If I wait and send her directly to pre-school will
that be more difficult than now? Because in home daycare - she will get
more attention than in a pre-school.Will a year later help her handle
separation stress better? What would you - experienced parents -
recommend?
Thanks in advance.