Paternity leave

Hi. I usually post over at mkm, but I think this is particularly
relevant to people at mkp, so I'm posting it over here.

I have a friend who's a reporter for a major, national parenting
magazine. He's working on an article about paternity leave - how
widespread is it, who's using it, whether it's becoming more widely
accepted, etc. Mike has been interviewing fathers who have had
experiences with paternity leave. The problem is that most of the dads
he's found so far were referred to him by companies that offer paid
leave as a benefit, and so of course the dads all had no trouble
taking leave and have been happy with their experience.

Mike knows this isn't the whole picture. He says that statistics
indicate that paternal leave is still quite uncommon and that many
dads face lots of resistance. He'd like to hear about fathers whose
experiences haven't been so wonderful. That means dads who have taken
unpaid leave, who have met resistance to the idea of taking leave, who
didn't take leave because they were actively discouraged from taking
it, or who feel they've suffered because they did take it.

He'd also be thrilled to hear about dads whose stand on taking leave
influenced their bosses or employers to reconsider.

He adds, for clarification, that by "paternity leave," he means a
break from work at or near the time of birth or adoption -- so he's
not looking at stay-at-home or work-at-home dads for this article.

If you want to post your experiences to this group, that's great --
Mike will read them here. Even better, if you know of a father who has
a story to tell about his paternity leave experience, Mike would like
to do a phone interview with him. He'd prefer to have on-the-record
interviews, which would mean publishing the dad's name, age, city, and
at least a general description of the type of work and employer (if
not the employer's name). But he also says, "For a good anecdote, I
can offer anonymity, defined as follows: I would have to have all the
above identifying information, plus contact information (phone number,
e-mail address), which I would share with my editors, but the dad's
identity would not be published."

I can personally vouch for Mike -- I've known him many years, and he's
reputable and conscientious. His work appears in major magazines.
(He's also a father of two.)

Anyone who has a story for Mike can find him at
. Tell him you heard via Robin's posting. If
you're on other parenting lists or "month" lists, please feel free to
forward this along. Mike needs to hear back before Feb. 20, so please
don't forward this message after that date.

Thanks,

--Robin

Ray,

If you're in the US and your company has 50 or more employees, you are
covered by the FMLA act, also commonly called the Family Leave act.

What this means is that you can take up to twelve weeks off during the
year if you've worked at least 1250 hours in the previous twelve
months. Once you use your family leave, you have to work another 1250
hours before you qualify again. The majority of employers do not
offer pay during this time. Your employer can also require you to use
sick leave and vacation concurrently with your FMLA leave.

If your company offers PAID Maternity leave, I would challenge them
for the same.

You can learn about the particular laws for your state by doing a
search for "paternity leave" "state law" and your state at google.
www.hrtools.com also has a lot of good info.

Good luck with this. This isn't something that's been as popularly
supported in the states as in Canada. Let us know how it turns out
for you.

rsitter
mother of megan, 10, riley, 1, and chloe due in 7wks!

"rsitter" wrote in message
om...
Ray,

If you're in the US and your company has 50 or more employees, you are
covered by the FMLA act, also commonly called the Family Leave act.


You know, though, my husband works for a large corporation with union
representation for non-management workers (he is a manager so not covered by
union). They do have to allow time off under FMLA, and for regular
employees under contract the company cannot do anything about it. The
company is NOT FMLA-freindly because a lot of people abuse it-- by using it
intermittently. You can take FMLA in one-hour increments etc or take a day
or two off here and there. So people find ways to abuse it to get extra
vacation days.

The problem is the company HATES FMLA, and frowns upon it. If a MANAGER, who
does not work under contract, uses FMLA often or is out with FMLA when his
or her boss doesn't like it, they can be retaliated on and even terminated ,
or just laid off when they do job cuts. I live in a state where employment
can be terminated with or WITHOUT cause, by employee or company. No manager
dares to use FMLA for this reason.

Why I bring this up is I am in a situation where I have no one who is free
to help me out if I have a problem arise during delivery of my baby. My
husband can use vacation for a few days, but If I had to have a c-section or
had a complication where I am not physically well and need help or care
afterwards etc, unless I am in the hospital, I won't have anyone to help me
out. Or even not me, but if something is wrong with the baby, and my husband
isn't allowed off on vacation. He COULD use FMLA. But it is not a wise
career move at all, since he would no doubt be pegged for dismissal, even
though he is an exemplary manager....they won't tolerate anyone who may be
out from work, if they don't have to.With non-managers, they have to because
of the contract, they CAN'T terminate them without cause, but managers can
be.

This makes me mad-- god willing nothing will come up but if it does, my
husband will not want to risk using FMLA if I needed someone to care for me
for say 2 weeks or something, like if I had a c-section and am not supposed
to drive or lift, etc.

Anyway, just a vent.

If your company offers PAID Maternity leave, I would challenge them
for the same.

ABSOLUTELY. I strongly encourage you to ask for the same benefits that
a woman would receive.

Jill wrote:

The company is NOT FMLA-freindly because a lot of people
abuse it-- by using it intermittently. You can take FMLA in one-hour
increments etc or take a day or two off here and there. So people
find ways to abuse it to get extra vacation days.

That is why so many places require you to use your vacation and sick leave
concurrently with FMLA.

The problem is the company HATES FMLA, and frowns upon it. If a
MANAGER, who does not work under contract, uses FMLA often or is out
with FMLA when his or her boss doesn't like it, they can be
retaliated on

That is to bad :-( I work for a good agency in this respect and so feel
lucky. We do have to work really hard to get things in line before our
leave starts but we have 9 months to get that accomplished :-)

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)

My husband is in the military. After every birth he's been given 10 days
paternity leave. The 10 days do not come out of his accrued leave. We have
no complaints, he's never been given a hard time about getting/taking the
leave.

Sophie
#4 due 7/18/04

"Sophie" wrote in message
...
My husband is in the military. After every birth he's been given 10 days
paternity leave. The 10 days do not come out of his accrued leave. We
have
no complaints, he's never been given a hard time about getting/taking the
leave.

Sophie
#4 due 7/18/04



My DH didn't get to take his paternity leave with #3 because he would have
missed ship's movement. That's the only time he's ever been denied though.

"Denise Anderson" wrote in message
...

"Sophie" wrote in message
...
My husband is in the military. After every birth he's been given 10 days
paternity leave. The 10 days do not come out of his accrued leave. We
have
no complaints, he's never been given a hard time about getting/taking
the
leave.

Sophie
#4 due 7/18/04



My DH didn't get to take his paternity leave with #3 because he would have
missed ship's movement. That's the only time he's ever been denied
though.

That stinks. #3 was the best for us. His 10 days ended on Christmas Eve,
then he took 2 more weeks off. I really needed it after L's crappy birth
too.

"Sophie" wrote in message
...

"Denise Anderson" wrote in message
...

"Sophie" wrote in message
...
My husband is in the military. After every birth he's been given 10
days
paternity leave. The 10 days do not come out of his accrued leave.
We
have
no complaints, he's never been given a hard time about getting/taking
the
leave.

Sophie
#4 due 7/18/04



My DH didn't get to take his paternity leave with #3 because he would
have
missed ship's movement. That's the only time he's ever been denied
though.

That stinks. #3 was the best for us. His 10 days ended on Christmas Eve,
then he took 2 more weeks off. I really needed it after L's crappy birth
too.



I can imagine. It looks like DH will be deployed when this baby is born.
Have I mentioned lately how much I hate this ship??

I can imagine. It looks like DH will be deployed when this baby is born.
Have I mentioned lately how much I hate this ship??


Bummer. Dylan leaves 2 months later - just after school starts,
etc...Should I reserve the room next to mine at the nuthouse for you?