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Will I be like my mom?? (Hugs)



 
 
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Old August 16th 13, 02:37 AM
Vondee03 Vondee03 is offline
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First recorded activity by ParentingBanter: Aug 2013
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Thumbs up Will I be like my mom?? (Hugs)

Ok, first I would like to state that I am very much not trying to come off as a whiny adult child, but if I am let me know
So I am currently pregnant and due in October with my first child at 29. I have had medial support emotionally but I'm ok with it. I am not with the father of the child (dated for 8 years; bad situation, I got out...end of story).
But like I said I've been pretty ok with everything.
I have lived a lot to say the least (a drug problem and a few psyc issues but they have been resolved).
Ok so there is brief background, now to the real issue. I have tried to ask my mother some things about pregnancy, and she never really talks about it (or anything else for that matter) with me. But I get lots of outside support, so it kind of makes up for it. Our relationship has been strained for years, but I have been trying very hard to repair it. But here the thing that is bothering me... I can never remember her hugging me or telling me she loves me. I know she does and I know our relationship has been null due to my own action for the bast 10 years. But even before that I do t remember any type of affection. I don't expect it from my dad because that's how his family was. But I see them loving on younger siblings and it hurts me. I desire it so bad from her and for at least 20 yrs and no amount of trying to ask all the way to begging can get it. I feel it in me that I will love on my child always and am looking forward to it, but also frightened that I may turn out like my mom with him some how.
I am fine for a few month but every now and then I will get angry with her for. It giving me the affection I want so bad.
Question is what should I do? Or is there really anything I can do? ( I don't think there is and I need to resolve it in myself, which has proven to be not completely successful so far)
Long, but I'm concerned :/
Thank in advance to all responses
 




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