Experts Top Ten ESSENTIALS List For Newborns?

"Zucca4" wrote in message
...
Superstitious as I am, we haven't bought anything yet. I'm in my 21st week
and
I feel like I still have a bunch of time. I know that I'd like the baby
to
remain in our bedroom for the first 3-6 months as I will be nursing and
I'd
like to have the baby very near. I have a very generous family and as the
only
child I know I will be reciving a lot of gifts. I'd actually only like to
register/keep that which is absolutley nescessary and donate the rest or
what
people would have given to a shelter or home for young mothers. I'm an ESL
teacher in downtown Flushing, NY and the parents of my students always
tell me
how very little they had in their very rural parts of the world and yet
how
happy and healthy their children turned out (I can attest to this as their
teacher) While I certainly wouldn't deprive my precious baby of anything
I
also don't want to be overwhelmed with a ton of things I really don't need
(as
in the case of my bridal shower )

What do you baby experts deem MUST HAVE?

Thanks,
Lisa


Sling.
'nother sling.
Boobs.
Carseat
Diapers (maybe)
Everything else is optional.

Might add in another sling or two, in case one ends up in the wash...

Jenrose

"==Daye==" wrote in message
news
On 18 Jul 2003 18:48:28 GMT, (Zucca4) wrote:

I'd actually only like to
register/keep that which is absolutley nescessary and donate the rest or
what
people would have given to a shelter or home for young mothers.

That is a very lovely thought. However, I would be offended if
you gave away my gift to the baby. If it was after the baby grew
out of the item (for clothes), then it would be fine. If you
gave it away before the baby even had a chance to use it, I would
be offended.

My attitude would be if I had wanted you to give my gift to the
shelter, I would have skipped you and made the donation myself.


Oy.
Frankly, once you've given a gift, it's time to let it go... I've seen moms
receive things I would NEVER put on a baby (either unsafe, or butt-ugly 100%
polyester in a nasty shade of green, or whatever else...) and I have too
much darned stuff to keep something we flat out won't use. Not you say
*your* gift wouldn't be useful...

I'm a great gift-giver, most of the time. But even some of mine fall kind of
flat and I'd rather things go where someone will need/use/want them than
that they be kept on a shelf out of fear of offending me.

Now, as to the OP... you can't "insist" or even really "request" that
donations be made in lieu of gifts... You won't be throwing your own shower
and you don't get to presume to tell others what to give you unless and
until they ask you outright. *If* they ask you outright, you can make that
request.

But for those giving gifts, you give the gift out of love and with the hopes
that it will "hit the spot" and be useful, loved, etc. But if you miss
somehow, and it isn't "perfect" or useful to the recipient, it's a waste of
energy to be offended. The error is not theirs--you just missed the mark a
bit! They are not obliged to keep your gift if it is not useful to them.

That said, it's impossible to know before a child is born which gifts will
be useful and which will not. So planning to give something away before
you've even gotten it is a bit premature.

Jenrose

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...
Zucca4 wrote:
snip

Keep in mind that some (including most etiquette mavens) do
think that asking for charity donations in lieu of gifts in this
sort of situation *is* rude. If people want to give your baby
gifts, that is, after all, their prerogative. You may not like
what they've chosen, but it is their money and their right to do
with it as they please, according to their values. Where you
get to do what you want is once the gift is in your hands. As
long as you can do so discreetly, you can give away or sell
excess gifts and donate the money. You might find that if
you don't register at all, more people will give gift
certificates, which you could more easily use for donations.

Best wishes,
Ericka


I remember when my daughter was born, I was given a very religious book from
a faith not my own, by someone who was fairly evangelical and thought I
needed saving. I sent her a lovely thank you note and took the thing back to
a store and got money back in exchange. At that point in my life, as a
young, single mother, I needed money far more than I needed proselytizing.
It was definitely a gift where she spent her money where she saw fit, and I
recognized that it came from a position of generousity, not criticism. That
said, it was something directly contrary to most of my personal religious
beliefs and not something I wanted on my shelf.

Jenrose

"Jenrose" wrote in message
...

"toypup" wrote in message
news:hY5Sa.82586$GL4.21286@rwcrnsc53...
snip

We have Newborn Snugli, Maya Wrap, Baby Bjorn and a Baby Trekker.
Complete
waste of money. DS didn't like any of them.

I'd say a Newborn Snugli is probably a waste of money for most people. The
Baby Bjorn--I'm not particularly fond of that way of carrying a baby
myself, but lots of people like them. The Maya Wrap...How were you putting
the baby in? I find that the best approach to an unpadded sling is to make
it mimic your arms as much as possible. Where do you normally carry your
baby? How old was your baby when you tried them?


I tried him at all different ages and positions. We would try, stop, try
stop, try stop. He never got comfy and the sides would often cut into him
if any part of him hang out of it. Still, I used it for the occasional
vacuuming. Lots of moms use slings and such in our playgroup. Honestly, I
never think other babies look very comfy in those things, either. That's
JMO. They aren't always crying, but they don't look real content, like they
know they can't escape so why bother. I watched one mom walk around with
her baby in a Snugli facing forward, but his head was too low and he
couldn't see anything. That can't be much fun or stimulating. He didn't
look happy, either, but he wasn't complaining. Another reason I don't think
they are truly comfy is that I never see any of the playgroup babies laugh
and play in those things; they never smile. Some of them are old enough to.
They always have this sort of sad expression. Don't flame me, I know YOUR
babies are comfy. Mine just wasn't and IME, many others aren't, either.

In article , Jenrose
wrote:

I'd say a Newborn Snugli is probably a waste of money for most people. The
Baby Bjorn--I'm not particularly fond of that way of carrying a baby
myself, but lots of people like them. The Maya Wrap...How were you putting
the baby in? I find that the best approach to an unpadded sling is to make
it mimic your arms as much as possible. Where do you normally carry your
baby? How old was your baby when you tried them?

Our daughter is so-so about the slings (maya pouch and otsbh) for just
about exactly that reason. We pretty much carry her upright with a hand
under her bum and a hand cradling her head. She gets irritated if we
lay her fully into the sling, but she'll abide it if we keep her
shoulders out and support her head with a hand. I figue it's for the
same reason she gets aggravated by tight swaddling--she'll literally
fuss and grunt and squirm until she gets both arms free, then she's
content.

The Baby Bjorn in our case works great, because she's contentedly
chest-to-chest a large part of the day anyway. We sort of envy the
slinging folks that walk around with a lumpy sack around their
shoulder, but frankly we prefer the urbane style of the Bjorn to the
crashed-through-the-ecuadorean-crafts-booth-on-a-unicycle look of most
slings anyway. In any case, the Bjorn is totally worth the extra you
pay for it compared to the Snugli: it's made to support the baby's
lower torso, whereas an infant tends to collapse into a less
structured frontpack.

One thing the slings have going for them is that you can use them right
off the bat, where a baby needs to be 8 lbs for the Bjorn.

I'd say the bottom line is that you'll probably find a carrier to be a
godsend, but you're better off assessing your newborn's particular
comfort modalities before dropping $40 for a loop of cotton or $70 for
a modified seat cushion. OTOH, your baby will over time become inured
to what you offer it, so having one ahead of time (or keeping one
received as a gift) isn't a bad idea either.

On the main topic, you can get by with 2 onesies and some diapering
supplies until you know how big your proj turns out to be. We stocked
up on bigger clothes after reading here that they go through them
quickly, only to have to seek out the smaller side of 0-3 months for
our 7 lb daughter, who is still wearing the small stuff at 8wks/10lbs.
We tended to run out a lot at first--it's nice to get away for an hour
or so--but what we really wished we had ahead of time was stuff for
engorgement: a pump, breast pads, nipple shield, those hot/cold packs.

APS

"toypup" wrote in message
news:eCiTa.119374$ye4.87033@sccrnsc01...

"Jenrose" wrote in message
...

"toypup" wrote in message
news:hY5Sa.82586$GL4.21286@rwcrnsc53...
snip

We have Newborn Snugli, Maya Wrap, Baby Bjorn and a Baby Trekker.
Complete
waste of money. DS didn't like any of them.

I'd say a Newborn Snugli is probably a waste of money for most people.
The
Baby Bjorn--I'm not particularly fond of that way of carrying a baby
myself, but lots of people like them. The Maya Wrap...How were you
putting
the baby in? I find that the best approach to an unpadded sling is to
make
it mimic your arms as much as possible. Where do you normally carry your
baby? How old was your baby when you tried them?


I tried him at all different ages and positions. We would try, stop, try
stop, try stop. He never got comfy and the sides would often cut into him
if any part of him hang out of it.

I've found that adjusting the sling's edges to make sure that baby's weight
is being primarily supported by the middle of the sling vs. the edges can
help a lot.

Still, I used it for the occasional
vacuuming. Lots of moms use slings and such in our playgroup. Honestly,
I
never think other babies look very comfy in those things, either. That's
JMO. They aren't always crying, but they don't look real content, like
they
know they can't escape so why bother. I watched one mom walk around with
her baby in a Snugli facing forward, but his head was too low and he
couldn't see anything.

Huh. I've seen babies look less than content in a sling, but compared to the
screaming hell that was WalMart yesterday with babies in carriers and
strollers yelling their heads off while parents tried to quiet them with
pacifiers, I'm wondering what you're comparing it to. When I've used slings
with babies, I tend to make the sling mimic positions I would to carry baby
in my arms, and I get no complaints. It's not about "they can't escape", but
that they are just content to be next to Mom and watch.

Recently I've had the chance to use a sling with a 4-year-old. She LOVES it.
Newborns don't really know the difference if you position them well--they
just are glad to be next to Mom. That's one reason I love the new "rings
down" positions with unpadded slings, especially two slings, crossed. You
can basically imitate natural positions you'd carry a baby in anyway, so
it's less an issue of a "how they look in a sling" and more an issue of
"babies like to be held."

That can't be much fun or stimulating. He didn't
look happy, either, but he wasn't complaining. Another reason I don't
think
they are truly comfy is that I never see any of the playgroup babies laugh
and play in those things; they never smile. Some of them are old enough
to.

Recently I put a 9 month old in the sling, and pulled it up so it was
supporting him all the way up to his shoulders. Then I put a hand on his
back and bent over. He started giggling like it was the best game yet. I did
the same thing with a 3-year-old a few weeks later. He said, "Again! Again!"
Even so, slings aren't so much about play as about closeness. Tiny babies
love the security of being very close to Mom. As they get older and more
interested in the world, they can ride "kangaroo" style, sitting
cross-legged, facing out, and have a much more stimulating view of the world
than the view from a car-seat-carrier. When they get a bit older, they can
sit on Mom's hip (where they'd probably end up anyway, being held on the hip
with an arm-of-steel), with their bums a tad lower than their knees and the
sling pulled all the way to the knees. From this position, they can play
with mom, interact with the world, nurse, sleep, be up on Mom's back (a
simple shift away) while cooking, and if they want down, putting them down
is as easy as bending over and carefully dropping them out the bottom of the
sling. Since with most unpadded slings you can pick older babies and
toddlers up the same way, it's much easier than holding them in the same
position with an arm.

They always have this sort of sad expression. Don't flame me, I know YOUR
babies are comfy. Mine just wasn't and IME, many others aren't, either.

I don't think there's any one "perfect" carrier for everyone. But I do think
that most of the times problems with carriers are not problems with the
"general concept" but just a mismatch between the type of sling and what a
family needs.

Did your son like being held in-arms? What positions did you normally hold
him in?

Jenrose

"aps" wrote in message
...
In article , Jenrose
wrote:

I'd say a Newborn Snugli is probably a waste of money for most people.
The
Baby Bjorn--I'm not particularly fond of that way of carrying a baby
myself, but lots of people like them. The Maya Wrap...How were you
putting
the baby in? I find that the best approach to an unpadded sling is to
make
it mimic your arms as much as possible. Where do you normally carry your
baby? How old was your baby when you tried them?

Our daughter is so-so about the slings (maya pouch and otsbh) for just
about exactly that reason. We pretty much carry her upright with a hand
under her bum and a hand cradling her head. She gets irritated if we
lay her fully into the sling, but she'll abide it if we keep her
shoulders out and support her head with a hand. I figue it's for the
same reason she gets aggravated by tight swaddling--she'll literally
fuss and grunt and squirm until she gets both arms free, then she's
content.

I think this is a very common misconception, that slings have to be "taken
lying down" by babies. I almost never carry babies lying down in any sling I
use, and I didn't get much use out of the ones that encouraged that sort of
position. Honestly, with my daughter, I mostly used a wraparound carrier for
her newborn days, holding her upright on my chest, and I used a pouch made
out of the same fabric as the wraparound for hip-sitting when she got to the
"up down" phase where she wanted to be held and then put down every 5
minutes. With my foster son, though, I had two cotton knit ring slings
(solid basic dark color, simple design, no padding) which I wore crossed,
and those worked to carry him up on my shoulder in the position you
described, snuggled up on my chest, facing sideways, looking out, you name
it. Whatever position he wanted, the sling would let him be in it. I've
managed with other babies to even get that kind of sling into a colic hold,
and even a Baby Bjorn type carry.

The Baby Bjorn in our case works great, because she's contentedly
chest-to-chest a large part of the day anyway. We sort of envy the
slinging folks that walk around with a lumpy sack around their
shoulder, but frankly we prefer the urbane style of the Bjorn to the
crashed-through-the-ecuadorean-crafts-booth-on-a-unicycle look of most
slings anyway. In any case, the Bjorn is totally worth the extra you
pay for it compared to the Snugli: it's made to support the baby's
lower torso, whereas an infant tends to collapse into a less
structured frontpack.

I find the biggest problem I have with the Bjorn-style carriers is that most
people I've known say they can't use them once baby gets over 20 pounds,
because it just hurts their backs too much. Since my kid was 20 pounds at 4
months, a Bjorn would have been very limited use for us. I can carry a 38
pound 4-year-old with an unpadded ring sling, for a lot longer than I could
carry the same kid "in arms". However, for people who like the Baby Bjorn
styling, I think the Ergo baby carrier takes the same sensibility and goes
the next step. It's for babies 5 months and up, and is one of the most
comfortable carriers I've ever used for back carries with a heavy child. I
just got one a few days ago and our first try was with the same 4-year old.
So maybe for people who love the Bjorn, the Ergo would be a good "next
step".


One thing the slings have going for them is that you can use them right
off the bat, where a baby needs to be 8 lbs for the Bjorn.

I'd say the bottom line is that you'll probably find a carrier to be a
godsend, but you're better off assessing your newborn's particular
comfort modalities before dropping $40 for a loop of cotton or $70 for
a modified seat cushion. OTOH, your baby will over time become inured
to what you offer it, so having one ahead of time (or keeping one
received as a gift) isn't a bad idea either.

g I wish there were "sling clubs" everywhere, so people could go try out
lots of different kinds of carriers before deciding what to buy. I know many
people who have 10 different types of slings (heck, at the moment I have 8
in the house, maybe 9, and have posessed at least 10 others at one time or
another, but I review them, so that's a little different) because they keep
trying to find "the perfect one". And sometimes "the perfect one" changes
from month to month as a baby grows up.

Heck, I think a lot of it boils down to pure style. My style is t-shirts and
jersey dresses. I gravitated to cotton knit slings in solid colors early.
There are ring slings available in silk brocade, with black webbing and
metal rings that are so incredibly stylish that they look like works of art
in and of themselves. (They look very, very chic--and at $149 each, they'd
better!). There are slings made out of Guatamalan fabrics that appeal to
people who like the ethic look, and slings made out of tie dye or hemp or
polarfleece or whatever fabric happens to appeal to a given person. I've
seen slings offered for as little as $15 or $20 and up through $150. There
are carriers with straps and buckles, ring slings, padded slings, and Very
Very Long Piece of Cloth.

Personally, all I care about is that babies get held, and that parents' arms
not fall off holding the babies. I see slings as a means to an end--happy,
well-connected kids, and I want to help people find the slings, carriers or
whatever that helps them be more comfortable while meeting babies' needs.

Jenrose

"Nina" wrote in message
...

"aps" wrote

One thing the slings have going for them is that you can use them right
off the bat, where a baby needs to be 8 lbs for the Bjorn.

Since mine were born weighing 8'12 and 8'15 I spose that wouldnt be an
issue
for me. I found my snugli for $2.50 at a thrift store and its like new,
hope it works ok.
Nina

If it doesn't work okay, don't assume that all slings are equal. If your
child outgrows it, don't assume that's it for babywearing.

If you really want to go minimalist, a really decent sling can be made from
a bedsheet (although I find cutting the sheet in half and hemming it takes
out some of the bulk.) I used to buy used bedsheets by the pound, wash them
like crazy, cut them in half (the long way), hem them, and then keep them in
my car to hand to people on the street who were holding babies in very
tired-looking arms. A simple knot at hip or shoulder and voila, instant
sling.

Jenrose

"Jenrose" wrote in message
s.com...

"Nina" wrote in message
...

"aps" wrote

One thing the slings have going for them is that you can use them
right
off the bat, where a baby needs to be 8 lbs for the Bjorn.

Since mine were born weighing 8'12 and 8'15 I spose that wouldnt be an
issue
for me. I found my snugli for $2.50 at a thrift store and its like
new,
hope it works ok.
Nina

If it doesn't work okay, don't assume that all slings are equal. If your
child outgrows it, don't assume that's it for babywearing.

If you really want to go minimalist, a really decent sling can be made
from
a bedsheet (although I find cutting the sheet in half and hemming it takes
out some of the bulk.) I used to buy used bedsheets by the pound, wash
them
like crazy, cut them in half (the long way), hem them, and then keep them
in
my car to hand to people on the street who were holding babies in very
tired-looking arms. A simple knot at hip or shoulder and voila, instant
sling.

Jenrose

I never had problems with my old snugli, it was similar to this one. Just
havent yet gone and examined this to be sure its intact, but if it isnt, the
2 bucks wont be tooo missed. I carried both my others in a front carrier
for ages, would walk around nursing and no one knew. They just figured the
baby had a blanket over its head.
I've never tried a sling, though I have seen plenty used. I guess Im afraid
I wouldnt know how to hold the baby in uit securely and it would tumble out.