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help!!! overwhelmed, back home with 3 kids



 
 
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  #1  
Old November 18th 06, 09:51 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
[email protected]
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Posts: 2
Default help!!! overwhelmed, back home with 3 kids

I need support, help, I feel so overwhelmed, I've been crying 5-6 times
a day since I arrived here a week ago. I'm not crying over leaving my
husband and miserable marriage of 11 yaers. I came back to Canada with
what could fit into 2 hockey bags with 3 kids, one who is 14 mths. old.
I have a little bit of money, very little, I enrolled my 2 children in
school and they've started and seem very happy, and I've enrolled in
the real estate agent course phase 1 of 3 to get a real estae sales
license, to get a job and support my family. ...I'm scared. I have a
supportive family who is helping me the best they can. I'm 38 yrs. old
and living in my father's house where my 2 older sisters and their
children (2 adult age) live. I feel like I'm imposing on them and
sometimes I can feel the tension.
I feel like my head is so full of thoughts, emotion and god knows
what else, I can't even think straight, I can't seem to even get a plan
straight. I've started school but finding time to study properly has
been such a task this first week. I try hard not to think about my
husband(x), and waste my neede focus and energy on my anger and
disappointment for him. I try to stay focused on moving forward and not
looking back other then to remember what not to do. I just feel so
overwhelmed I can't think straight.
So, what do I do , I mean a game plan. Are there any real estate
agents out there who can give me some advice on what kind of career
this is? Any advice about any of this would be so appreciated...thank
you

  #2  
Old November 19th 06, 01:18 AM posted to alt.support.single-parents
[email protected]
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Posts: 2
Default help!!! overwhelmed, back home with 3 kids


Thank you Kate, that's just what I was looking for. Everything you said
is how I feel and have been thinking- thank you for your time and your
thoughts, I really needed that. It just seems like ALL single mothers
are so ...WELL,POOR. Not only do I not want to be poor , but I want to
be successful and make a great living, it just seems like that's not an
option for a single parent. It really terrifies me.

One of the reasons I picked the real estate industry , apart from
liking the idea of changing projects and small goals, and dealing with
people, etc... was the flexible hours, on the weekends I hope one of my
sister's can help me watch the baby, during the week during the night
too, when I start to work.

I was thinking about trying to get a part time job at a real estate
office to get experience etc... I'm sooo excited about the future and
so scared, I just wish I could hear some successful, empowering stories
about single mothers. I NEED EMPOWERMENT.

18,
5:00 pm, 'Kate wrote:
On 18 Nov 2006 12:51:39 -0800, the following was
posted in blue dry erase marker:





I need support, help, I feel so overwhelmed, I've been crying 5-6 times
a day since I arrived here a week ago. I'm not crying over leaving my
husband and miserable marriage of 11 yaers. I came back to Canada with
what could fit into 2 hockey bags with 3 kids, one who is 14 mths. old.
I have a little bit of money, very little, I enrolled my 2 children in
school and they've started and seem very happy, and I've enrolled in
the real estate agent course phase 1 of 3 to get a real estae sales
license, to get a job and support my family. ...I'm scared. I have a
supportive family who is helping me the best they can. I'm 38 yrs. old
and living in my father's house where my 2 older sisters and their
children (2 adult age) live. I feel like I'm imposing on them and
sometimes I can feel the tension.
I feel like my head is so full of thoughts, emotion and god knows
what else, I can't even think straight, I can't seem to even get a plan
straight. I've started school but finding time to study properly has
been such a task this first week. I try hard not to think about my
husband(x), and waste my neede focus and energy on my anger and
disappointment for him. I try to stay focused on moving forward and not
looking back other then to remember what not to do. I just feel so
overwhelmed I can't think straight.
So, what do I do , I mean a game plan. Are there any real estate
agents out there who can give me some advice on what kind of career
this is? Any advice about any of this would be so appreciated...thank
youIt sounds like you already have a game plan but you're doubting your

ability to follow through because you are having a hard time finding
time to study and you're living situation is not the best.

Your game plan sounds good. You're right about checking out the market
for real estate agents in your area. Try googling "occupational outlook
canada" or "occupational outlook" with your provence name. You may find
resources that will give you an idea of what to expect (salary, job
requirements, traits of people who do well in the field, and etc.).

If you're feeling as if you can't keep doing what you're doing, you
don't have enough help. Learning to ask for help is something that is
very difficult for women... not sure why, though. When you ask, make
sure you tell the person exactly what you need and by when. When people
help, they become invested in your success. Remember to say thank you.
The only people that you do not necessarily have to repay in kind
(like... you help me, then I owe you one) are family. It's nice if you
can but if you can't, they will understand (hopefully!).

You need time to study. The best time, I have found, is saturday morning
when the kids are watching cartoons. Limit your study time to 20 minutes
per sitting. You can steal study time by taking all your notes on index
cards and/or voice recorder. Keep one or the other with you at all
times. When you're waiting for the kids to get out of school... that's
study time. Doctor's office... study time. You'd be surprised how often
time is wasted doing everyday things. If you're in the car, you can be
listening to the audio tape. Learn to get up a half hour earlier to
study. You can do this. You really can do this.

As for being overwhelmed... you've entered a totally new world. You have
long term goals. You're now a single parent so you're needed more often.
Be kind to yourself. You must have a little time to just be you.. not
mommy, sister, daughter... just you.

Give your dad a hug every day. You're very lucky to have his help.

As for your siblings and their adult children... they're going to have
to adjust. If you feel tense, ask them outright what's up. Listen. Tell
them that you know this is a change for them and it's going to be
difficult to get use to. Make sure that you have some kind of family get
together for fun... game night or whatever. You guys need to get to know
each other again. Don't assume that you know what the tension's about.
You weren't there to know how things were before you arrived. It may be
that they really need you to talk to. Be willing to listen. Invite it.
"You look a little down today" or "hey... you look great! What's going
on?" And invite them to do things with you too. Let them in to your
life.

Hope this helps.. I know it's not exactly what you were looking for but
what the heck... I type fast. :-)

Welcome.

'Kate- Hide quoted text -- Show quoted text -


  #3  
Old November 20th 06, 02:11 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Tiffany
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 11
Default help!!! overwhelmed, back home with 3 kids

Just so you know, I have been a single parent all my daughter's life and I
am NOT poor.

T


wrote in message
oups.com...

Thank you Kate, that's just what I was looking for. Everything you said
is how I feel and have been thinking- thank you for your time and your
thoughts, I really needed that. It just seems like ALL single mothers
are so ...WELL,POOR. Not only do I not want to be poor , but I want to
be successful and make a great living, it just seems like that's not an
option for a single parent. It really terrifies me.



  #4  
Old March 13th 07, 09:27 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help!!! overwhelmed, back home with 3 kids

Dude you need to chill out and not worry so much i am a male but have been
in the same position i had to take my 2 and 3and half girls away from their
mom until she stopped the drugs nad my emotions that made me worry what
would any person be thinking putting that rubish before a 10 year marriage
and 2 beautiful kids i just could not comprehend but i moved into my mothers
house and she is elderly i also felt as i was imposing in her and my younger
brothers space but they assured mye thsat they wanted to give me the space
with my children. so you just remember your dad realy has always been there
for you and still is remember you are still his baby and i dont think
anything changes that unless you have a family that fits in to the hat full
of assholes. I didnt think soi be happy get your life back on track all will
be well.

sincerelt
GRANT
wrote in message
oups.com...
I need support, help, I feel so overwhelmed, I've been crying 5-6 times
a day since I arrived here a week ago. I'm not crying over leaving my
husband and miserable marriage of 11 yaers. I came back to Canada with
what could fit into 2 hockey bags with 3 kids, one who is 14 mths. old.
I have a little bit of money, very little, I enrolled my 2 children in
school and they've started and seem very happy, and I've enrolled in
the real estate agent course phase 1 of 3 to get a real estae sales
license, to get a job and support my family. ...I'm scared. I have a
supportive family who is helping me the best they can. I'm 38 yrs. old
and living in my father's house where my 2 older sisters and their
children (2 adult age) live. I feel like I'm imposing on them and
sometimes I can feel the tension.
I feel like my head is so full of thoughts, emotion and god knows
what else, I can't even think straight, I can't seem to even get a plan
straight. I've started school but finding time to study properly has
been such a task this first week. I try hard not to think about my
husband(x), and waste my neede focus and energy on my anger and
disappointment for him. I try to stay focused on moving forward and not
looking back other then to remember what not to do. I just feel so
overwhelmed I can't think straight.
So, what do I do , I mean a game plan. Are there any real estate
agents out there who can give me some advice on what kind of career
this is? Any advice about any of this would be so appreciated...thank
you


 




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