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#1
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2 yr old causing problems at Daycare
My wife called me today hysterically crying. She picked up our 2 yr
old daughter from daycare today, and was told that Isabella bit another child, pulled hair, was put in time-out 5 times, basically had a really, really bad day. And apparently she was not very good the day before. Isabella is our first, and we spoil her rotten, but she's always been very good, outgoing, friendly, playful etc, all along with a strong personality. But we're not sure what's going on, and more importantly, how to fix this behavior. I've read that "time outs" don't really work until about 3, and just telling her it's wrong, and that she's hurting someone else doesn't seem to be getting through. Any advice would be great, especially for my wife who is having a breakdown over this. She doesn't want Isabella to be the "problem child" at daycare. ConcernedDaddy |
#2
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2 yr old causing problems at Daycare
Jasper wrote:
My wife called me today hysterically crying. She picked up our 2 yr old daughter from daycare today, and was told that Isabella bit another child, pulled hair, was put in time-out 5 times, basically had a really, really bad day. And apparently she was not very good the day before. Isabella is our first, and we spoil her rotten, but she's always been very good, outgoing, friendly, playful etc, all along with a strong personality. But we're not sure what's going on, and more importantly, how to fix this behavior. I've read that "time outs" don't really work until about 3, and just telling her it's wrong, and that she's hurting someone else doesn't seem to be getting through. Any advice would be great, especially for my wife who is having a breakdown over this. She doesn't want Isabella to be the "problem child" at daycare. ConcernedDaddy A TWO year old? Other than beating her senseless the ONLY effective way to "control" two year olds is with direct supervision/intervention, and modifying the environment. You put up what you don't want touched, and you provide close enough proximity to intervene in situations such as you describe. I can't believe that day care operators get away with, some of them. You need a new daycare that has enough trained staff that the child can be quickly physically separated AND, most important, there will be adequate adult/child interaction (doesn't even always need to be more than passive) to satisfy what she is clearly demonstrating. A NEED. Biting and hair pulling are exhibits of frustration. Two year olds are continually frustrated. In fact your kid may be more advanced than the others developmentally if they are all behaving nicely and she isn't. She likely needs to be experimenting with her environment at a higher rate than other kids around her. That IS how we develop. Frustrating that results in a cranky child. Mother nature will NOT be stopped without some biting, screaming, and crying. And boy, does SHE pull hair when you try to stop normal behavior in a two year old. And any day care that puts two year olds together and allows such things to happen doesn't know its business. A child is not even ready to DO socialization cooperative play until age four. Any that does happen is accidental or from careful close proximity supervision. Sorry to rant about this, but if the day care is NOT going to be respectful of child development reality, YOU should get the books and read up on what to expect of two year olds and find another more competent day care. They are out there, and a delight to observe. Such things as you tell here do NOT happen in those that know what they are doing. Best wishes, Kane -- "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote." - Benjamin Franklin (or someone else) |
#3
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2 yr old causing problems at Daycare
Perhaps a child abuse report should be leveled against
the deficient day care, for their incompetence, but then instead of fixing their own incompetence they would expel the ""trouble maker"" and call in a child abuse report on you! Notice how Kane sees spanking only in terms of beating the child senseless. That's his rabid political agenda expressed. The biggest problem with seeking advice is that you know your child better than anybody else. What works for one may not work for another. Whether you believe in spanking or not, the first and obvious course of action is to engage the child in activities that interest them. |
#4
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2 yr old causing problems at Daycare
Greegor wrote:
Perhaps a child abuse report should be leveled against the deficient day care, for their incompetence, Unless they are actually abusing the child that would be a fraudulent report. Are you sure you want to suggest it as a possible course of action? After all, should he and it turn out badly, I'll be happy to put his attorney in touch with you. 0:- but then instead of fixing their own incompetence they would expel the ""trouble maker"" His day care provider would do that? and call in a child abuse report on you! A false report, and risk suit? I mean, after all, your idea of resolving conflict is pretty much always a suit, isn't it Greg? Notice how Kane sees spanking only in terms of beating the child senseless. Hyperbole, thy name is Greg. Nope. You never have gotten irony Greg. Likely too late for you now. More likely you had any real honest gentle humor busted out of you by spanking. Too bad. That's his rabid political agenda expressed. As usual, the 'rabid' project it upon others. The only agenda I have is stopping as much child abuse as possible. Hitting a two year old for expressing their frustration doesn't make a whole lot of sense. There are a world of other things one can do until the child is old enough to be more socialized. Age four is the developmental milestone for cooperative play, and hence, socialization. Before then you are annoying, frustrating, and likely injuring the child's progress by forcing. Especially through pain and aversion methods. Just modify the environment, dummy. The biggest problem with seeking advice is that you know your child better than anybody else. The biggest problem with seeking advice is that the Gregs of the world might come along and miss the point you made, that the parent said in so many words, he didn't know what to do and he and his wife are at the end of their rope. Greg's idea of "helping" is to attack the helpers, derail the exchange, and then pull you into the 'let's everyone kick CPS and the CPS suckup 'sickofants.' He can't even spell. But he's happy to subvert and preempt the one making the inquiry and anyone attempting any real help. If you don't know what to do, Greg, you might consider shutting the puckering up. 0:- What works for one may not work for another. That's why I offered different scenarios and outcomes and suggested strongly that he get a good book on child development to better understand what is going on. What do YOU think he should do, take one of your how to spank your child into submission, force them to take cold aversive showers, and learn to bark and meow? Whether you believe in spanking or not, the first and obvious course of action is to engage the child in activities that interest them. I have to admire the way you condensed, in that last phrase, just what I was saying about development. Brilliant. We need more of that around here. And congratulations, you did not dump YOUR case on the poster. That's got to be a rare first. Go on, I know you are dying to tell him, and after all, your story is more important than his issue, right, Greg? 0:- -- "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote." - Benjamin Franklin (or someone else) |
#5
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2 yr old causing problems at Daycare
Kane, You accused the day care of being incompetent.
Is that true or is it libelous? If it's true that the day care center ""professionals"" are that inept, perhaps they should be found incompetent to care for children? If your statement about their incompetence is libelous, I apologize for any bad suggestions I might have made based on your libel. I notice though that I placed some strong caveats on that idea, and you felt the need to take those out of the context. Perhaps you can suggest a better way to see to it that HEADS ROLL in regard to this day care center if they are indeed incompetent? |
#6
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2 yr old causing problems at Daycare
Greegor wrote:
Kane, You accused the day care of being incompetent. Shall I show how you deliberately aborted attributions to avoid being caught lying? Here is our exchange. You'll kindly point out where "I" made any such accusation. "Greegor wrote: Perhaps a child abuse report should be leveled against the deficient day care, for their incompetence, Unless they are actually abusing the child that would be a fraudulent report. Are you sure you want to suggest it as a possible course of action? After all, should he and it turn out badly, I'll be happy to put his attorney in touch with you. 0:- but then instead of fixing their own incompetence they would expel the ""trouble maker"" His day care provider would do that? and call in a child abuse report on you! A false report, and risk suit? I mean, after all, your idea of resolving conflict is pretty much always a suit, isn't it Greg? " Or were you referring to this?: "I can't believe that day care operators get away with, some of them. You need a new daycare that has enough trained staff that the child can be quickly physically separated AND, most important, there will be adequate adult/child interaction (doesn't even always need to be more than passive) to satisfy what she is clearly demonstrating. A NEED. " Again, you can show where I accused the day care of being incompetent? Is that true or is it libelous? Calling someone incompetent for not being able to have enough workers to keep hair pulling and biting children from acting out against others isn't about "incompetence." It's about under-staffing. If it's true that the day care center ""professionals"" are that inept, perhaps they should be found incompetent to care for children? I didn't use the word "professionals" in or out of quotes, Greg. Why have you done so with double quotes pretending that I did use it? It appears YOU are attempting to claim I made libelous statements by YOU constructing them out of false quotes. Interesting. If your statement about their incompetence is libelous, I apologize for any bad suggestions I might have made based on your libel. I'll bet you don't even see the convoluted logic and circular reasoning inherent in such statements, do you, Greg? I notice though that I placed some strong caveats on that idea, and you felt the need to take those out of the context. What caveats and what idea are you referring to? Well, if you remove all traces of a post you reply to it becomes rather obvious that the respondent cannot follow what you are referring (in fact it would be difficult with the post you are so prone to babble incoherently) OR, you are simply being misleading and promulgating a form of lie. Perhaps you can suggest a better way to see to it that HEADS ROLL in regard to this day care center if they are indeed incompetent? How interesting. Why would I take up the Greg and Cohort method of correcting an agency or company? I'd simply move my children. Now what was it I actually suggested to the poster? Why, Greg, it was exactly that. So all you have done is make a fool of yourself again by using the same methods you do with CPS, to try and make villains out of them and out of me, a private individual. You simply construct the lie and assign it. Not clever, and certainly not honest. 0:- -- "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote." - Benjamin Franklin (or someone else) |
#7
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2 yr old causing problems at Daycare
alt.support.child-protective-services
Exactly who is killing children? Kane reported 99.3 of all reported child fatalities are at the hands of OTHER than foster parents, leaving .6% by foster parent perpetrators, with parents, and relatives constituting by far the largest block of perps. Why is there .1% missing? What percentage of the entire population is Foster contractors? If Fosters are less than .6% of the population then the RATE is horrible! Female day care providers have a surprisingly high percentage attributed to them. And Greg, in another newsgroup, wished to claim I libeled (he meant slander of course) day care providers when I criticized one by suggesting they failed to protect a child and the parent should move that child. But Kane couldn't answer this in the thread where it belongs, he felt the need to repost it in another thread in another newsgroup. I'm always amazed at his brilliance. I wonder, now that he has decided to share the glory of Doug's little valiant CPS REFORM CRUSADER train, what he might have to say about 99.3 percent of all child fatalities REPORTED to acf.hhs as being perpetrated by other than foster parents? But then, "I'm always amazed." What's you point? 0:- wrote: Greegor wrote: Kane, You accused the day care of being incompetent. Shall I show how you deliberately aborted attributions to avoid being caught lying? Here is our exchange. You'll kindly point out where "I" made any such accusation. "Greegor wrote: Perhaps a child abuse report should be leveled against the deficient day care, for their incompetence, Unless they are actually abusing the child that would be a fraudulent report. Are you sure you want to suggest it as a possible course of action? After all, should he and it turn out badly, I'll be happy to put his attorney in touch with you. 0:- but then instead of fixing their own incompetence they would expel the ""trouble maker"" His day care provider would do that? and call in a child abuse report on you! A false report, and risk suit? I mean, after all, your idea of resolving conflict is pretty much always a suit, isn't it Greg? " Or were you referring to this?: "I can't believe that day care operators get away with, some of them. You need a new daycare that has enough trained staff that the child can be quickly physically separated AND, most important, there will be adequate adult/child interaction (doesn't even always need to be more than passive) to satisfy what she is clearly demonstrating. A NEED. " Again, you can show where I accused the day care of being incompetent? Is that true or is it libelous? Calling someone incompetent for not being able to have enough workers to keep hair pulling and biting children from acting out against others isn't about "incompetence." It's about under-staffing. If it's true that the day care center ""professionals"" are that inept, perhaps they should be found incompetent to care for children? I didn't use the word "professionals" in or out of quotes, Greg. Why have you done so with double quotes pretending that I did use it? It appears YOU are attempting to claim I made libelous statements by YOU constructing them out of false quotes. Interesting. If your statement about their incompetence is libelous, I apologize for any bad suggestions I might have made based on your libel. I'll bet you don't even see the convoluted logic and circular reasoning inherent in such statements, do you, Greg? I notice though that I placed some strong caveats on that idea, and you felt the need to take those out of the context. What caveats and what idea are you referring to? Well, if you remove all traces of a post you reply to it becomes rather obvious that the respondent cannot follow what you are referring (in fact it would be difficult with the post you are so prone to babble incoherently) OR, you are simply being misleading and promulgating a form of lie. Perhaps you can suggest a better way to see to it that HEADS ROLL in regard to this day care center if they are indeed incompetent? How interesting. Why would I take up the Greg and Cohort method of correcting an agency or company? You don't advocate fixing what is broken? I'd simply move my children. Yup. Don't fix what's BROKEN! Now what was it I actually suggested to the poster? Why, Greg, it was exactly that. Yes I know. Kane wrote So all you have done is make a fool of yourself again by using the same methods you do with CPS, to try and make villains out of them and out of me, a private individual. I am a litigant. You simply construct the lie and assign it. Not clever, and certainly not honest. Leave that to the jury. |
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