Told my OB I was leaving her for my midwife....

Not an easy conversation!

We did a 20wk u/s and all looks great, all tests have been normal as I
expected. Apart from my age and prior m/c, I have no risk factors (low
BP, otherwise healthy, no history of GDS in my family and no signs of
it in me, etc). So I dropped the bomb today. She was not pleased - not
upset, but not really supportive. Listed her less than ideal
experiences with people who'd been in midwife care in the past, said
she'd feel better if it wasn't my first child, etc etc.... I really
like her a lot, she's been great throughout, so I felt pretty guilty,
as did DH.

I still feel 100% confident. Unfortunately she planted seeds of worry
in DH's head...he says it's still up to me, but I want him to be 100%
on board.

My DH wasn't too supportive of the midwife idea either, equating level
of degree with level of care. What helped sell the idea to him was
that the OB would be there just in time to actually deliver the baby,
while the midwife would be with us for most of the labor, so he'd get
more help in supporting me.
We went into the hospital at 11pm, and I was only 3 cm dilated. Nurse
wanted to send us home, but called the midwife who said to "monitor" me
without admission b/c we were 45 min drive from home. (I guess the rule
was that you had to be 4cm dilated for admission) Nurse called midwife
every hour or so through the night (rules for being "monitored") until
I hit 4 cm and could be admitted. Midwife came at 7am to check on me,
I was 5 cm dilated. I had had very little support up to that point,
but between midwife coming in and a new nurse starting her shift, I had
someone in the room with us at all times. Midwife told me to get in
the tub (I was too waffly to make suggestions to, I needed to be told
what to do), and I went from 5cm to 9cm in an hour. Midwife was with
us from 7am until baby was delivered at 1pm....No OB is going to do
that!!

Amy

cjra wrote:

I still feel 100% confident. Unfortunately she planted seeds of worry
in DH's head...he says it's still up to me, but I want him to be 100%
on board.

Have him ask your midwife what she would do in the
situations raised by the OB that concern him, and how often
they've happened in the past and what the outcomes were.
In all likelihood he'll be quite reassured.

Best wishes,
Ericka

wrote:
I went with a midwife for this pregnancy but I had an doctor for my
first two pregnancies and I have never been happier about a decision.
The care is so much more personal and I feel as if I have complete
control over every aspect of my pregnancy because it is my body and my
baby. With the doctors I felt like they were running the show and I
was just along for the ride. The midwives give me appointments of up
to and hour if I want to be there that long to you have time to ask all
the questions you might have. You are not rushed in and out like
usually happens in a doctors office. It is very non-invasive as I am
38 weeks and have not had an internal exam yet and even my step-B swab
was done by me in the privacy of a washroom. I find the midwives are
as concerned about my well being as they are about the baby's,
something that doesn't always seen the case with doctors. It is also
wonderful how they are towards my older children who have to come with
me to each visit. I live in Canada and here midwives go through
extensive schooling. Basically it is like medical school but the focus
is narrowed to reproduction and childbirth and everything that entails.
In many ways I find them more experienced than the doctors were and
with more knowledge. Also, there are usually less complications when
midwives are involved and a lower incidence of c-sections which is a
definite bonus. Men are just too hung up on doctors and they see
pregnancy and childbirth and a medical issue when it isn't. It is a
natural part of life that has been going on for millions of years. I
think you will be very pleased with your decision especially if your
experience is as wonderful as mine has been.


Thanks for the comments. DH is not a typical man I guess ;-). He's the
champion of natural medicine/ayurvedic health etc. He's not a huge
supporter of western medicine (I am, and work in the field, but have
worked in non-western health care situations as well). So it's kind of
odd to address when he gets like this.

Fortunately, we talked more and he's back to being 100% confident of
the decision, without any persuasion from me.

I kind of wish my doc was pushing and annoying because then I wouldn't
feel so guilty. She's great, we both really like her a lot and she's
been a real help through some difficult parts. She actually doesn't
really rush you out, stays for questions etc, tho I've never chatted
for an hour and I usually have to wait 30 mins for my appt.She's just
wary of lay midwives because they are not required to have such
extensive medical training here. Some IS required, and mine is well
qualified with loads of experience, but my doc said she's had to deal
with patients whose midwives insisted on not transporting to hospital
when it was necessary, or focusing too heavily on natural methods when
they became dangerous.

So I just feel kind of bad about ditching her, but we're confident now,
so we'll forge ahead.