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Help for Friend with Post Partum Depression



 
 
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  #1  
Old January 31st 07, 08:28 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated,misc.kids
Dawn
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Posts: 10
Default Help for Friend with Post Partum Depression

Hi everyone,

A very close friend is having a rough time with what seems to be post-
partum depression/anxiety. I'm looking for ways to help long
distance.

She gave birth to her third child, a girl, in September, bringing that
baby home the same day her oldest daughter started Kindergarten. She
also has a 3 year old boy. Between these pregnancies she had several
miscarriages. She's basically been pregnant, trying to get pregnant,
or recovering from a birth or miscarriage for the last 7 years
straight. Recently, she very reluctantly chose to wean her youngest
earlier than she had hoped due to some severely clogged ducts and
infections in her breasts.

It's always been her goal to have three children (she is the third in
her family). Now that she has achieved that against some stiff odds
(she's over 40 and as I mentioned had several miscarriages), she
describes feeling trapped and completely dissatisfied with her life.
She has had episodes of near-paralysis, waking up and feeling unable
to get up out of bed. She has also had bouts of uncontrollable
crying.

She is afraid to be alone with her children. She doesn't report
feeling she would hurt them, but rather that she just won't be able
to handle it all. She says they are "so needy at this age, so whine-
y." She doesn't feel bonded to the new baby ("I know I love her, but
I don't feel connected").

She's taken some excellent steps. She has been up front with her
husband, nearby family and friends. She has more than once reached
out to one of them when she felt out of control and seems very willing
to do so when she needs to. She has seen a counselor and is on a
schedule of weekly appointments. She has tried one anti-anxiety
medication prescribed by her OB/GYN but felt the side effects
(dizziness) were too unpleasant. She is open to anti-depressant
medication and when I spoke with her Monday she was going to call and
ask for a prescription.

I've been in touch via phone, offered to fly to see her and sent
tulips when she mentioned that if she can just make it to spring, she
thinks she'll be ok. That seems so woefully inadequate for someone I
love so much. Ideas?

-Dawn

  #2  
Old January 31st 07, 10:50 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated,misc.kids
Banty
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Posts: 2,278
Default Help for Friend with Post Partum Depression

In article .com, Dawn says...

Hi everyone,

A very close friend is having a rough time with what seems to be post-
partum depression/anxiety. I'm looking for ways to help long
distance.

She gave birth to her third child, a girl, in September, bringing that
baby home the same day her oldest daughter started Kindergarten. She
also has a 3 year old boy. Between these pregnancies she had several
miscarriages. She's basically been pregnant, trying to get pregnant,
or recovering from a birth or miscarriage for the last 7 years
straight. Recently, she very reluctantly chose to wean her youngest
earlier than she had hoped due to some severely clogged ducts and
infections in her breasts.


She's getting the right medical and counselling help. What she needs is the
practical day to day help with three kids five (or six or so) and under. It
would overwhelm a lot of people, especially when they're not in their 20's and
30's anymore, even without the depression. It may be a plain-vanilla clinical
depression, which may have happened under any hugely stressful situation.

Of course, long distance it's not something you can jump over and do. But it
strikes me that whatever is done would be along that line. Is there some way
you can ease her path to getting daily in-home help?

Banty

  #3  
Old February 1st 07, 02:49 AM posted to misc.kids.moderated,misc.kids
Anne Rogers
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Posts: 1,497
Default Help for Friend with Post Partum Depression

I'm not sure there is so much you can do to actually "help", or at least not
in the way you mean, depression takes time, sometimes medication and a lot
of support to recover from, you can ease that path, but you can't solve the
problem.

I have a dear friend with severe, recurrent depression that meds to not
always manage to control, over the years, we've learnt that there is nothing
we can do to prevent each episode happening, we can usually spot it earlier
than her and get her to the doctors, we can slow the onset a little, we can
support through it, but we can't do much more, the rest has to come from the
doctors, counsellors etc.

Unfortunately stopping breastfeeding is known to have an effect on postnatal
depression, rates are higher in mothers that don't breastfeed and a low
patch even if it's isn't depression is commonly reported after weaning, you
probably don't want to tell her this right now! But if she has unresolved
issues in this area, they are important to talk through and if she mentions
trying to start breastfeeding again (you don't mention how long since she
stopped), then I would encourage her.

Cheers

Anne


 




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