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Computer monitoring



 
 
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  #1  
Old November 4th 05, 04:42 PM
Greg
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Default Computer monitoring

Greetings all.

I'm a father of one teenaged daughter, and another teeneager-to-be (not
too soon, thank the Gods!)

As with any household, the use of the computer has become quite an
issue. Parental controls on my AOL account don't seem to be enough.
She still manages to find her way to inappropriate material. Mostly at
the urging of her friends (my daughter a bit of a follower). I've
decided to go with computer monitoring/keylogging software to see
what's happening on my computer. Anyone else have experience with any
of these types of programs that could offer suggestions?

As a parent, it kills me not to trust my own kid, but the need to keep
her (and the rest of us) safe takes priority I think. Also, with
monitoring software, I could be better informed in case I have to take
further action.

Advise? Opinions? Thanks.

Greg

  #2  
Old November 4th 05, 05:03 PM
Scott
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Default Computer monitoring

Greg wrote:
Greetings all.

I'm a father of one teenaged daughter, and another teeneager-to-be (not
too soon, thank the Gods!)

As with any household, the use of the computer has become quite an
issue. Parental controls on my AOL account don't seem to be enough.
She still manages to find her way to inappropriate material. Mostly at
the urging of her friends (my daughter a bit of a follower). I've
decided to go with computer monitoring/keylogging software to see
what's happening on my computer. Anyone else have experience with any
of these types of programs that could offer suggestions?

As a parent, it kills me not to trust my own kid, but the need to keep
her (and the rest of us) safe takes priority I think. Also, with
monitoring software, I could be better informed in case I have to take
further action.

Advise? Opinions? Thanks.

Greg


This is occasionally an issue at our house, with our
12-yo DD. We (the BH and I -- it's the BH's computer)
have made it clear to her that what she
does on the computer *is* visible to us. In fact,
Wednesday I logged into her account right in front
of her -- she didn't even know I knew her password!
She has on occasion lost her computer privileges --
once for a month IIRC -- because of inappropriate
activity (mostly related to chat sessions).

Having said that, we don't have monitoring software.
As you note, a child can find a way around that, and
I prefer not to have the illusion of security that
such software might give me.

My DD gives off unmistakeable signs when she is abusing
her computer privileges. Sometimes I don't notice them
at the time, but in retrospect they are always there.

It helps in our house that the computer is in a very
visible part of the house. There is *no* privacy
there. That and being able to log in as her helps
keep things in control. So far

Scott DD 12 and DS 9

  #3  
Old November 5th 05, 12:30 AM
Beth Kevles
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Default Computer monitoring


Hi --

Although my kids aren't quite that old yet, I teach middle school
(grades 7-8). That said, my suggestions would be:

1. Sit down together and write out a list of good computer rules. If
you suggest one that your daughter doesn't like, discuss it
further. Perhaps she's right! Perhaps she'll convince you to
modify the rule. Perhaps when she hears your rationale she'll
change her mind. And in the end, you can always, apologetically,
say "because I'm the parent". Sign a computer-use contract
together.
2. Keep the computer with Internet access in a well-traveled part of
the house. Don't let your daughter have the impression that the
computer is ever used in private.
3. Make sure you know her password, and that she knows you know her
password, and that you'll log in on her account from time to time
but only with her present.
4. Give your daughter some of the responsibilities that go with using a
computer. For example, she can be responsible for keeping the
anti-virus software up to date. She can be responsible for keeping
the file system well organized, with all files in appropriate
folders and all files meaningfully named. And if you or she want
new software, let HER do some of the initial research into which
particular brand to get and where to get a good price on it.

Finally, if your daughter has not yet taken a good touch-typing class
where posture and wrist position are emphasized as much as speed and
accuracy, then make SURE she takes such a class ASAP. Carpal tunnel
syndrome can strike at any time, and one of my 7th graders has recently
had a brush with it! (I'm their first exposure to correct typing
skills, so some have taught themselves some horribly anti-ergonomic
habits by the time they get to me.)

My two cents,
--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

  #4  
Old November 5th 05, 01:20 AM
Dawn
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Default Computer monitoring

It might help if you defined "inappropriate material." I've felt (so
far) that AOL's content restrictions are actually pretty extreme. For
that reason, we've given up trying to use it.

A hint on AOL when it comes to computer use logical-consequence
punishments. You can set a limit on the amount of time your child can
access the internet on AOL. You can set that limit to 0. You can do
it remotely, from another computer. This came in handy this sumemr a
few times when I needed to shut him down from work.

Good luck. It's a problem, I know.

-Dawn

  #5  
Old November 6th 05, 01:47 PM
animzmirot
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Default Computer monitoring


"Scott" wrote in message
...
Greg wrote:

My DD gives off unmistakeable signs when she is abusing
her computer privileges. Sometimes I don't notice them
at the time, but in retrospect they are always there.

It helps in our house that the computer is in a very
visible part of the house. There is *no* privacy
there. That and being able to log in as her helps
keep things in control. So far


I have to agree with Scott. I have two teenagers, one of whom has a MySpace
account and blog. The other really isn't that interested in the computer
other than to read my blog and see what I've written about the kids. The kid
who is very computer savvy has been caught before doing inappropriate things
on the computer and has lost privileges for quite some time. It was easy, I
just password protected the computer, removed the kids accounts, and the
only computer to have internet access is in a VERY visable place where they
can't hide a thing. I do check the history fairly often, and I have the
password to the MySpace account and know what is on it at all times. Both
kids have laptops in their rooms for homework, but they have no internet
access and we don't have WIFI just for this reason.

I don't believe in monitoring software. I'm pretty sure of what they are and
aren't doing on the computer because it's in such a public space in our
house. But if things took a bad turn I'd be slapping on password protection
pretty quickly and my kids know that from experience. Having consequences
that are painful has taught them valuable lessons. We no longer have IM
because someone abused it, for example. If you don't want to lose privileges
then you have to follow the house rules concerning anything electronic.

Marjorie



  #6  
Old November 14th 05, 12:54 AM
Jeff
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Default Computer monitoring

You can also get software called VNC (search for it on google). With VNC,
you can see what is on the computer's screen from any other computer on the
network. It does slow down the computer that you are looking at, though,
especially for games. You can even take over the mouse and keyboard and
close windows and stuff. Of course, you should let her know you are using
the software and that you will be looking in from time to time without
warning.

(The software is meant to use computers remotely, not to monitor other
people's behavior. But, hey if it works....)

I also agree with making the computer in a public part of the house. And I
like the middle-school teacher's idea of giving your daughter
responsibilities for maintaining the computer and its files. I would add to
Ms. Kevles's list, backing up the computer files regularly.

Jeff

 




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