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#11
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Newbie to child support
Hey man, your best chance is to marry her if you can. Give up and be a
father, it is better to be a father than a debtor! Fatherhood is alright, I know a lot of guys that love it and never thought they would. Also, check and see if your state recognizes contract marriages, this is a marriage with tougher terms for divorce, she will think it is because you are so committed, but you are actually covering your ass. |
#12
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Newbie to child support
Oh, I can tell you that if I ever decided to marry her, I'd get a prenup in
advance. My trust in women has all run out. I can't marry her, though. She's self righteous and lazy. I have really expensive health insurance. For family, it would be around $550 per month. I only make about $2200 per month. She's been in and out of work ever since I met. She never really holds down jobs and now that she's preggo, forget it. I know that if I married her and\or let her live with me, her ass would be out of work as soon as the kid is born, if not earlier. She'd stay out of work, too. It would be like pulling teeth trying to get her back to work. Then, I'd be supporting 3 people instead of 2 and I probably wouldn't be able to even do that because of the medical insurance cost. I don't know. A part of me thinks that living with her is a big mistake. I have no ill will towards the poor child, but I think I might go nuts with her, knowing how she pushed me into this and in effect, dragged an innocent child into this mess-my child!. I also think because of how pushy she is, that making any kind of progress with her in regards to parenting and living together would be impossible. I'd be totally whipped and miserable. I wish people knew how the US child support law creates such an unfair and ultimately hostile environment for people in our situation. If men could make the same choices that women are able to make after an accidental conception, women would have to think like adults. If a man had the same rights of a woman and could relinquish his parental rights and responsibilities after conception, women would be left to either raise the child themselves, place it up for adoption or abort it. Instead, women aren't forced to think like adults. They can make a decision that greatly effects someone else's life just to get money and without any detriment to themselves. Women are treated like children in this country. Women are not equal to men under the law. Until men have the same right to plan their families as women do, ladies, stop bitching about lower pay. You deserve lower pay because you can ultimately force a dude to pay for you. I'm not going to take you seriously, until that lame, unfair, "safety net" or as I like to call it, male-noose is removed from your disposal. Ladies, if you can't support and care for the kid yourself, here's an f'ing thought, maybe you shouldn't keep the child. I'm not endorsing abortion, even though I support it, but give the kid to a couple that can care for it properly. Also, chicks, stop getting religious at times that are just convenient for you. Don't throw your pseudo religious, moral garbage at us after an accident takes place. We see through that noise. Where was your religion when you were having unprotected sex outside of marriage? If you keep the kid and you can't care for him\her, you're being as, if not more, irresponsible than the accidental conception itself. Stupid people always make a bad situation worse. wrote in message oups.com... Hey man, your best chance is to marry her if you can. Give up and be a father, it is better to be a father than a debtor! Fatherhood is alright, I know a lot of guys that love it and never thought they would. Also, check and see if your state recognizes contract marriages, this is a marriage with tougher terms for divorce, she will think it is because you are so committed, but you are actually covering your ass. |
#13
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Newbie to child support
"GerrickPeters" wrote .................................................. ....... Until men have the same right to plan their families as women do, ladies, stop bitching about lower pay. You deserve lower pay because you can ultimately force a dude to pay for you. I'm not going to take you seriously, until that lame, unfair, "safety net" or as I like to call it, male-noose is removed from your disposal. === OK, I take back the advise I gave you. === |
#14
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Newbie to child support
Gini wrote: "GerrickPeters" wrote .................................................. ...... Until men have the same right to plan their families as women do, ladies, stop bitching about lower pay. You deserve lower pay because you can ultimately force a dude to pay for you. I'm not going to take you seriously, until that lame, unfair, "safety net" or as I like to call it, male-noose is removed from your disposal. === OK, I take back the advise I gave you. === I thought maybe women should stop bitching about lower pay when they continue to take jobs that do not pay well. You cannot just average women and mens salaries and say "well holy ****, women make XX% of what men do, SEXISM, BOO HOO HOO." Their are reasons for pay disparity, choices have consequences. |
#15
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Newbie to child support
wrote Gini wrote: "GerrickPeters" wrote .................................................. ...... Until men have the same right to plan their families as women do, ladies, stop bitching about lower pay. You deserve lower pay because you can ultimately force a dude to pay for you. I'm not going to take you seriously, until that lame, unfair, "safety net" or as I like to call it, male-noose is removed from your disposal. === OK, I take back the advise I gave you. === I thought maybe women should stop bitching about lower pay when they continue to take jobs that do not pay well. You cannot just average women and mens salaries and say "well holy ****, women make XX% of what men do, SEXISM, BOO HOO HOO." Their are reasons for pay disparity, choices have consequences. === Women should be paid equally for equal work. I also believe men should be treated equally in family court. That's not my gripe with the OP. He's clueless that most of the women here support father's rights and do in fact have a greater voice than dads because the powers that be listen to women more than they do men. He needs to become aware of the dynamics of a newsgroup (and the roles of gender in father's rights issues) before making a total fool of himself as he did with the above post. Since he has stated that he isn't going to take me seriously, I regret taking the time to respond to his original post. === |
#16
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Newbie to child support
All I'm saying is,before women expect to be treated equal, men should be
treated equal too, in all areas of the law. It seems like this area of the law has been left conveniently out of the equation and it's ludicrous. Inequality does not beget equality. It's not that I'm not going to take women seriously, I'm just not going to take a pseudo feminist seriously. Here's the general sentiment summed up: You want equality? Then, I get it, too. I'm just ****ed off that because of the lame law I have to go through this garbage and it is, garbage. It's tantamount to an f'ing arranged marriage. We live in a supposedly free country in the 21st f'ing century! Come on! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. Wars were waged over nonsense like this. The law has to change, but I doubt it will. I'm just forced to do something like a little kid and yet I'm expected to be "adult" about this. Complete bull****. "Gini" wrote in message news:r95Kf.8658$qa2.1859@trndny07... wrote Gini wrote: "GerrickPeters" wrote .................................................. ...... Until men have the same right to plan their families as women do, ladies, stop bitching about lower pay. You deserve lower pay because you can ultimately force a dude to pay for you. I'm not going to take you seriously, until that lame, unfair, "safety net" or as I like to call it, male-noose is removed from your disposal. === OK, I take back the advise I gave you. === I thought maybe women should stop bitching about lower pay when they continue to take jobs that do not pay well. You cannot just average women and mens salaries and say "well holy ****, women make XX% of what men do, SEXISM, BOO HOO HOO." Their are reasons for pay disparity, choices have consequences. === Women should be paid equally for equal work. I also believe men should be treated equally in family court. That's not my gripe with the OP. He's clueless that most of the women here support father's rights and do in fact have a greater voice than dads because the powers that be listen to women more than they do men. He needs to become aware of the dynamics of a newsgroup (and the roles of gender in father's rights issues) before making a total fool of himself as he did with the above post. Since he has stated that he isn't going to take me seriously, I regret taking the time to respond to his original post. === |
#17
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Newbie to child support
"GerrickPeters" wrote in message news:tw5Kf.3230$Em2.1170@trndny05... All I'm saying is,before women expect to be treated equal, men should be treated equal too, in all areas of the law. It seems like this area of the law has been left conveniently out of the equation and it's ludicrous. Inequality does not beget equality. It's not that I'm not going to take women seriously, I'm just not going to take a pseudo feminist seriously. Here's the general sentiment summed up: You want equality? Then, I get it, too. === Still not sure who "you" is/are but you're preaching to the choir here and if you'd hung around and read the group for a while, you'd know that. But, don't blame all women for your plight. Indeed, the current state of affairs for dads has its roots in NOW but NOW hardly represents all women. In fact, NOW is a fringe group not supported by the majority of women so you might want keep that work/pay rant for other groups. This group is, and historically has been, a father's rights group, not a custodial parents group or a "NOW" group. You are wasting too much time with that diatribe. The fight fathers now have is with the legislatures and courts. Get over the anti-women crap and down to the issue of your CS/ custody dilemma. Have you even read the advise you were given? Was any of it supportive of women's rights? How are you going to deal with your immediate problem? === |
#18
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Newbie to child support
"GerrickPeters" wrote in message news:TY%Jf.2336$Em2.1248@trndny05... Oh, I can tell you that if I ever decided to marry her, I'd get a prenup in advance. My trust in women has all run out. I can't marry her, though. She's self righteous and lazy. I have really expensive health insurance. For family, it would be around $550 per month. I only make about $2200 per month. You do realize that, if you are ordered to pay child support, you may be ordered to pay health insurance for the child, too? I don't know where you are but I can tell you that both in the state we live in and in the state where my husband's child resides, health insurance is not a part of the child support payment, but in addition to the child support payment. She's been in and out of work ever since I met. She never really holds down jobs and now that she's preggo, forget it. I know that if I married her and\or let her live with me, her ass would be out of work as soon as the kid is born, if not earlier. She'd stay out of work, too. It would be like pulling teeth trying to get her back to work. Then, I'd be supporting 3 people instead of 2 and I probably wouldn't be able to even do that because of the medical insurance cost. I don't know. A part of me thinks that living with her is a big mistake. I have no ill will towards the poor child, but I think I might go nuts with her, knowing how she pushed me into this and in effect, dragged an innocent child into this mess-my child!. Yes--your child. As much as you hate this whole mess, you need to remember that the child is even more innocent than you are, and needs his/her father. I absolutely understand your anger at the system. But you need to think about your child, too. I also think because of how pushy she is, that making any kind of progress with her in regards to parenting and living together would be impossible. I'd be totally whipped and miserable. You don't have to live together, but you can try to get either full or part custody. If she refuses to work, perhaps the child would be better off with you. I wish people knew how the US child support law creates such an unfair and ultimately hostile environment for people in our situation. If men could make the same choices that women are able to make after an accidental conception, women would have to think like adults. If a man had the same rights of a woman and could relinquish his parental rights and responsibilities after conception, women would be left to either raise the child themselves, place it up for adoption or abort it. Instead, women aren't forced to think like adults. They can make a decision that greatly effects someone else's life just to get money and without any detriment to themselves. Women are treated like children in this country. Women are not equal to men under the law. Until men have the same right to plan their families as women do, ladies, stop bitching about lower pay. You deserve lower pay because you can ultimately force a dude to pay for you. I'm not going to take you seriously, until that lame, unfair, "safety net" or as I like to call it, male-noose is removed from your disposal. Do you feel that way about women who have never used tha "safety net"? About women who have shouldered the entire burden of raising their children after their husbands have abandoned them? About women who are the bread winners of the family because their men refuse to work? Are all women condemned in your eyes because some milk the system to get for themselves what they in no way deserve? Is just being a woman enough to condemn a person in your eyes? |
#19
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Newbie to child support
Believe me, I know about the health insurance issue. As stated, I've already
consulted an attnorney, so I know exactly what I'm responsible for. What I meant about the insurance was that, if I bit the bullet and married her, I wouldn't be able to afford the family coverage. My company offers three types of coverage, individual, 2 person or family. I would barely be able to afford the 2 person insurance. My attorney told me that in NYS, both parents are forced to insure the child unless the parents sign a court approved agreement that only one will. I'm hoping she'll agree to that with me because her current health insurance is much cheaper than mine would be. The other insane thing I found out about NYS law is that the father for some reason is 100% responsible for the health costs incurred as a result of the birthing. It's called costs of "care and confinement". That's 100% responsible for both the baby and the mother's care. Excuse me, but WTF!? 100%!? Is the mother not an adult? I can kinda see maybe 50%, but 100%? Who came up with this nonsense? Luckily, she has health insurance and I'm hoping that she keeps it until the baby is born. I don't believe all women abuse the system. I think the system shouldn't even allow that to happen, though. I don't agree with dads who abandon families that they've already previously agreed to create. My dad did. I think this situation is entirely different, though. I never agreed to have a family with my girlfriend. I wanted to spare the kid from this situation. Unfortunately, I was too careless to wrap it up one time. Having kids is not the kind of decision that should be made at orgasm, nor does it have to be. I'm completely incapable of being a father emotionally, financially or otherwise. There's no way for me to get full or partial custody of this child. Nor do I want full or partial custody. I happen to think she'd be inept as a mother, too, but I'd never be able to convince her and\or a judge of that. I don't even have a place of my own. I still live with my parents. And with what's on the horizon, I can't get a place of my own. I have no idea how I'd afford it. I understand this and wanted to make a wise decision by allowing an able and stable family adopt the child. Now, my hands are tied. I don't know what she's going to do. Aside from screwing with me, she hasn't really been doing anything to prepare either. "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "GerrickPeters" wrote in message news:TY%Jf.2336$Em2.1248@trndny05... Oh, I can tell you that if I ever decided to marry her, I'd get a prenup in advance. My trust in women has all run out. I can't marry her, though. She's self righteous and lazy. I have really expensive health insurance. For family, it would be around $550 per month. I only make about $2200 per month. You do realize that, if you are ordered to pay child support, you may be ordered to pay health insurance for the child, too? I don't know where you are but I can tell you that both in the state we live in and in the state where my husband's child resides, health insurance is not a part of the child support payment, but in addition to the child support payment. She's been in and out of work ever since I met. She never really holds down jobs and now that she's preggo, forget it. I know that if I married her and\or let her live with me, her ass would be out of work as soon as the kid is born, if not earlier. She'd stay out of work, too. It would be like pulling teeth trying to get her back to work. Then, I'd be supporting 3 people instead of 2 and I probably wouldn't be able to even do that because of the medical insurance cost. I don't know. A part of me thinks that living with her is a big mistake. I have no ill will towards the poor child, but I think I might go nuts with her, knowing how she pushed me into this and in effect, dragged an innocent child into this mess-my child!. Yes--your child. As much as you hate this whole mess, you need to remember that the child is even more innocent than you are, and needs his/her father. I absolutely understand your anger at the system. But you need to think about your child, too. I also think because of how pushy she is, that making any kind of progress with her in regards to parenting and living together would be impossible. I'd be totally whipped and miserable. You don't have to live together, but you can try to get either full or part custody. If she refuses to work, perhaps the child would be better off with you. I wish people knew how the US child support law creates such an unfair and ultimately hostile environment for people in our situation. If men could make the same choices that women are able to make after an accidental conception, women would have to think like adults. If a man had the same rights of a woman and could relinquish his parental rights and responsibilities after conception, women would be left to either raise the child themselves, place it up for adoption or abort it. Instead, women aren't forced to think like adults. They can make a decision that greatly effects someone else's life just to get money and without any detriment to themselves. Women are treated like children in this country. Women are not equal to men under the law. Until men have the same right to plan their families as women do, ladies, stop bitching about lower pay. You deserve lower pay because you can ultimately force a dude to pay for you. I'm not going to take you seriously, until that lame, unfair, "safety net" or as I like to call it, male-noose is removed from your disposal. Do you feel that way about women who have never used tha "safety net"? About women who have shouldered the entire burden of raising their children after their husbands have abandoned them? About women who are the bread winners of the family because their men refuse to work? Are all women condemned in your eyes because some milk the system to get for themselves what they in no way deserve? Is just being a woman enough to condemn a person in your eyes? |
#20
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Newbie to child support
Gini wrote: wrote Gini wrote: "GerrickPeters" wrote .................................................. ...... Until men have the same right to plan their families as women do, ladies, stop bitching about lower pay. You deserve lower pay because you can ultimately force a dude to pay for you. I'm not going to take you seriously, until that lame, unfair, "safety net" or as I like to call it, male-noose is removed from your disposal. === OK, I take back the advise I gave you. === I thought maybe women should stop bitching about lower pay when they continue to take jobs that do not pay well. You cannot just average women and mens salaries and say "well holy ****, women make XX% of what men do, SEXISM, BOO HOO HOO." Their are reasons for pay disparity, choices have consequences. === Women should be paid equally for equal work. Of course, and that, by and large, has already been achieved. I thought you were getting off on comparable worth, you don't want to get me started on that piece of socialist bull****. I am happy you are on our side Gini, I misunderstood you. Garret doesn't seem all that bright as he assumed that equal pay was actually an issue and not a feminist talking point. |
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