I'm a horrible, horrible person and mother...

Sweetheart, I'm gonna top post for this one. Accidents happen, even yucky
horrible ones like making a bad driving decision and causing an accident.
However, they are still just accidents. His wounds will heal and heal and
he wont' remember much of this in the years to come.

Give his as much love and affection as you can muster and continue being the
good mother we all know you are.

Much love sweets,
*b

"©kat©" wrote in message
news%hnb.46405$zx2.24505@edtnps84...
Earlier today, I smashed my son's head... He has a huge bruise. By huge,
I
really do mean HUGE...


Last night, he was up til 3am ****ing around in his room and in the
hallway
and downstairs. Finally I got really ****ed off, yelled at him and
eventually, around 330am, he went to sleep... The other night, he snuck
up
in the middle of the night, came in my room and climbed on to the top of
my
closet shelf and let out the gerbils... I didn't think I'd find them
alive,
given the cat... He's killed one bird and about 4 fish in the past couple
days... I get blamed when he is mean to the cat and she scratches him.
Everyone is telling me that he's not mean to the cat and to get rid of
her... Really, she is just defending herself and does put up with a lot of
crap, and I don't really see a reason to get rid of a friendly, clean,
good
cat... I guess I just think that he needs to learn to be nice to others
and
animals... This cat has yet to leave a scratch on me, and it will take one
warning sign - not an actual act - of her attacking or scratching for no
reason before she's gone.
This afternoon, when he was supposed to be having a nap, I again found him
on the top shelf of my closet, and both gerbils gone. I lost it then
because not only is it a dangerous, fairly long fall with many hard
objects
in the way (the wall, computer desk, my hope chest, etc.) but I've been
telling him and explaining to him why he cannot go up there in the first
place. I grabbed him down and pretty much dragged him back to his room -
kicking and screaming. I then closed the bedroom door and he instantly
ran
to it and started kicking and hitting the door while screaming. I stood
there holding the door as he was screaming and kicking it and trying to
open
it, and then when he gave up trying to open the door, he just kicked it.
He knows there's no screaming like that in the house. I booked it up the
stairs, and opened the door harder than I figured I would because it often
sticks sometimes, and I ended up smashing the door right into him,
literally
sending him flying half way across the room... Almost instantly, he had a
HUGE purple bruise in the middle of his forehead, and I knew it was my
fault, unintentional or not, it was my doing... I went downstairs to calm
myself after I put him on his bed and grabbed ice then came back upstairs.
I felt like such a horrible piece of crap and horrible excuse for a human
being... I grabbed his covers off, and he was cowering under them,
obviously
away from me. He was sobbing and still crying and I picked him up and
started crying myself... I took him downstairs and wrapped him in a
blanket
and tried to put the ice on his forehead, and then, eventually, we both
fell
asleep on the couch cause I wasn't sure about putting him in his room to
sleep alone... Right now, I feel so ****ing horrible, and there's no way I
could take it back... I don't know what happened, but when I was putting
ice
on his forehead, it hit me hard that maybe I just am a bad mother...
I'm scared to go outside anywhere for fear that someone might see his huge
bruise and not care to hear what happened, and just call social
services...
How on earth do you explain that your child kills/is mean to animals and
you
smashed a door into him?? I feel worse right now than I have in as long
as
I can remember...
I called my mom to see what I could do to keep the swelling down and make
the bruise go away, but I wonder what she'll say or think when she gets
here, which should be right away... I have a meeting downtown, and the
baby
is going to my parents' place for a couple hours while I'm out... This
really sucks, and I really don't need to feel even worse about what I
did...

Hey Kat if you are still looking for feedback, JUDGMENTAL BITCH here (I like
that title) sez, give yourself a break, but you are wise to hope that
Children's Services never hears about it. Those people can turn accidents into
a nightmare, while really abused children are ignored...

Joelle

steveb wrote in message ...
"Dennis Here"

lifted the trapdoor, peered around and wrote:

From my observations over the years, unruly children invariably have one
or
two unruly parents.

Sometimes ... but ADHD is a recognised condition too


But is it a valid excuse for unruly behaviour?

In GB and Ireland the incidence of ADHD is only 1% of children whereas in
the USA it is 5% to 7% (depending on the source)
Perhaps it is influenced by the environment as well as the parents?

Dennis

"Dennis Here" youreply
lifted the trapdoor, peered around and wrote:

But is it a valid excuse for unruly behaviour?

Well it is certainly a valid "reason" for such behaviour. Behaviour which
needs appropriate treatment and managing, of course.

steveb

"Dennis Here" youreply
wrote in message ...

steveb wrote in message ...
"Dennis Here"

lifted the trapdoor, peered around and wrote:

From my observations over the years, unruly children invariably have one
or
two unruly parents.

Sometimes ... but ADHD is a recognised condition too


But is it a valid excuse for unruly behaviour?

In GB and Ireland the incidence of ADHD is only 1% of children whereas in
the USA it is 5% to 7% (depending on the source)
Perhaps it is influenced by the environment as well as the parents?

Or perhaps it is simple overmedicating for docility (sp?)


Dennis

Dennis Here youreply
wrote in message ...

steveb wrote in message ...
"Dennis Here"

lifted the trapdoor, peered around and wrote:

From my observations over the years, unruly children invariably have one
or
two unruly parents.

Sometimes ... but ADHD is a recognised condition too


But is it a valid excuse for unruly behaviour?

In GB and Ireland the incidence of ADHD is only 1% of children whereas in
the USA it is 5% to 7% (depending on the source)
Perhaps it is influenced by the environment as well as the parents?

Dennis



Possibly that in the USA, people are very much looking for the quick
fix..... doctors give that with meds. Diagnose the child with ADD/ADHD and
you get meds. That stat of 5-7 percent seems pretty low to me actually. I
will add also, that in the US, the typical diet is not a healthy one and can
contribute to hyperactivity and other issues. It is definitely influenced by
the environment also. Just my opinion.

T

Paul Fritz wrote in message
...

"Dennis Here" youreply
wrote in message ...

steveb wrote in message ...
"Dennis Here"

lifted the trapdoor, peered around and wrote:

From my observations over the years, unruly children invariably have
one
or
two unruly parents.

Sometimes ... but ADHD is a recognised condition too


But is it a valid excuse for unruly behaviour?

In GB and Ireland the incidence of ADHD is only 1% of children whereas
in
the USA it is 5% to 7% (depending on the source)
Perhaps it is influenced by the environment as well as the parents?

Or perhaps it is simple overmedicating for docility (sp?)




Yeppers..... kids can be much easier to handle on meds. That is not to say
that meds don't benefit some kids. (political disclaimer)

T