DOes it?

'Kate wrote in message
news | On Thu, 29 Apr 2004 03:12:32 GMT, "Dinky"
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| almost as annoying as people who think that IRC codes work here.
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| /slap
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It's just a funny, dear, I was not under the impression it would
work. I've been using "fake" html codes and IRC jargon for years on
USENET, and I must say, you are the first one to ever mention it. And
I thought *I* was hostile..eg

billy

Dinky, I am not unsympathetic, I have been there and know how bad the
pain can be.

BUT - you are an adult, and the thing that YOU MUST do now is to put all
your energy into helping those kids of yours. You have only lost your
wife, but they seem to have lost BOTH their parents - you by not wanting
them, and their mother by leaving them.

So, be a man, and start taking care of those kids as your first priority
- and in time you will find that that helps you as well.

David -

Dinky wrote:

Does it ever go away? The pain, the anger, the confusion at having
been abandoned by the one person in the world whom you most trusted?
I was never sure I wanted children in the first place. I did it
because having children made her happy. I bought her a house. I
bought her a new car. Everything I did for her and now she's gone and
I'm left with 4 girls I'm not fit to care for and bills I cannot pay.
How do so many people survive this??????????????????

--

billy

"Dinky" wrote in message...



"Paul Fritz" wrote in message...
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| "Dinky" wrote in message...
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|
| I'm left with 4 girls I'm not fit to care for
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| Why are you not fit to care for them?

Sorry, bad night, I have quite a few of those.
I don't feel qualified to raise these kids. I'm not a patient
man, never have been. I'm more fit to be a hermit or something. I'm
uncomfortable in groups, I prefer quiet..... loud, high-pitched
noises cause me pain due to my Sensory Integration Disorder, so I get
angry with them very often, I could easily imagine myself becoming
too punitive with them, my wife was the 'control' like the rods in a
uranium pile. She would see me getting too angry with them, and
intervene.

Maybe you should have thought of this (your temper, ability to control your
emotions) BEFORE you had four children.

AM classes never seem to address my issues. I just can't
see myself being able to do this for AT LEAST the next 14 years. Jess
will be moving out soon, but that will make it worse since she helps
out when she graces me with her exalted presence...am I rambling?
Guess that happens when the only conversation you get is with 4,5 and
7 year olds...oh god... puberty, proms, boyfriends, sex, cars,
money....people at work tell me I should date. Date!! LMAO!!! I
"work" 19-22 hours a day! (single parents know what I mean) I'm 31
years old, lousy job, heavily in debt, I have 4 kids, and I drive a
damn minivan!!! Heh!

A minivan? So what?? Consider yourself lucky. I haven't seen a trace of
my car since Christmas Day when he took off with it after a fight we had
been having since August! What I now drive is nothing. I am now very
friendly with the public transportation, my bicycle, skateboard and feet. I
couldn't even afford to drive right now even if he did, somehow, for some
reason, allow my car to find its way back home. Insurance is insane, and
with the recent prices of gas being 82.5¢/L, you should consider yourself
somewhat lucky, even be greatful, that you have, at least, one factor to
help you out just a little bit, even if it is a minivan. Would a motorcycle
be better or more appealing to you? A 2-seater, expensive sports car?
Thinking realistically, a minivan doesn't seem so bad. You have the room
for your children, and who really cares about anything else, except that it
gets you, and your children, from point A to point B conveniently. Are you
not impressed with your minivan because you have someone to impress?

--
A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?
A: Top-posting.
Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet?

"Dinky" wrote in message...



"P.Fritz" wrote in message...
|
| The thing to is the moment you start thinking about the ex or the
problems,
| focus on something else, if you dwell on it, it just makes it
worse. If a


Easier said than done, but true enough.



aside Wonderful. Bottom posting is annoying enough, couple that
with the apparent "no snipping" rule in this group...wow..eg

/me ducks


billy


Bottom posting?? Annoying?? Who in the what now?
"No snipping" rule? What in sam hill are you talking about???

--
A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?
A: Top-posting.
Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet?

"Shelley" wrote in message ...

"Dinky" wrote in message ...
Does it ever go away? The pain, the anger, the confusion at having
been abandoned by the one person in the world whom you most trusted?
I was never sure I wanted children in the first place. I did it
because having children made her happy. I bought her a house. I
bought her a new car. Everything I did for her and now she's gone and
I'm left with 4 girls I'm not fit to care for and bills I cannot pay.
How do so many people survive this??????????????????

--

billy

You may find the people on here a little idealist. Being a single parent
is
tough. My advice is, don't neglect your own needs, you need to be happy to
be a good parent. I made all the mistakes and continue to make them. If
you
have friends, rely on them. Ditto family. Don't try to be superman,
remember
you are human. Don't feel guilty if you don't get it right. Just do your
best. If you want to communicate with someone who isn't superhuman and a
superparent but has a sense of humour and can admit to failing, email me.
Shelley.



What ARE you talking about? I'm not going to comment on the idealist
comment you had because it's already been done. Don't neglect your needs,
but often you might find yourself needing to neglect your wants for your
childrens' needs, and even wants. Your child(ren) MUST come first, even if
it means that you don't get to buy that new movie YOU wanted, just so your
child(ren) can have supper. That's your want vs. their need.

I've found that trying to rely on friends, sometimes even family, is the
worst thing you can do. Rely on yourself and strive to rely on yourself
only. Help and support is another thing. Friends and family can be good at
offering help and support, but I don't believe in relying on others.

Who here believes they are Supermom or Superdad? I don't believe anyone
does. There's been times when each one of us has had problems or issues and
needed some advice or pointers. Some were posting here, others, I'm sure,
have worked things out in other ways. No one, that I've seen, has ever
claimed, or tried to prove, they are some fantastic parent who has not had
any problems, issues or failings. Give me a break and don't try and make
every single parent look incompetent.

--
A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?
A: Top-posting.
Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet?

"Joelle" wrote in message ...

snip

Going out without the kids should be compulsory.

Taking a break once in awhile to be with other adults, adult conversation,
socializing, yes. Getting involved in a romantic relationship right now
will
take time, resources and energy from the kids - and they need it more.

Save your bandwidth. I think 'Shelley' missed the part when you said,
"Going out WITHOUT THE KIDS EVERY WEEKEND won't help either."
I find it funny that post had been snipped of what the real meaning behind
it was meant to be.


Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

--
A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?
A: Top-posting.
Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet?