Staying the night...

Lately I have been staying the night at my boyfriends house. My son goes
with me, he likes to go over there. So then what's the problem you say?
Well, the past couple of nights my son has wanted to stay at our house,
that's fine. Perfectly acceptable and understandable. But, when I suggest
to my BF, that he join us at our house, he always has an excuse as to why
he can't. Actually he said he won't. When I asked him why, his reply was,
"I'm not comfortable there". Huh?? I was blown away. Was I being
unreasonable? I have tried unsuccesfully to get the real reason out of
him, but I can't seem to get one. He said my kid doesn't share with his
kid. Not true. My son shares. Then he said I have to have a bed for his
kid(he's legal careprovider for a boy), while my son sleeps on a sofabed.
I'm at a loss. We have been together for almost 18 months. It seems as
though we aren't making much progress toward a future. He used to talk
about 'growing old together', and he asked me to 'marry him someday', but
after this, I'm having doubts. The subject matter no longer comes up.
So, oh great wise ones, what would you do? I really do love him, but this
really bothers me. Help. Thanks

"hdbabe" wrote in message ...
Lately I have been staying the night at my boyfriends house. My son goes
with me, he likes to go over there. So then what's the problem you say?
Well, the past couple of nights my son has wanted to stay at our house,
that's fine. Perfectly acceptable and understandable. But, when I suggest
to my BF, that he join us at our house, he always has an excuse as to why
he can't. Actually he said he won't. When I asked him why, his reply was,
"I'm not comfortable there". Huh?? I was blown away. Was I being
unreasonable? I have tried unsuccesfully to get the real reason out of
him, but I can't seem to get one. He said my kid doesn't share with his
kid. Not true. My son shares. Then he said I have to have a bed for his
kid(he's legal careprovider for a boy), while my son sleeps on a sofabed.
I'm at a loss. We have been together for almost 18 months. It seems as
though we aren't making much progress toward a future. He used to talk
about 'growing old together', and he asked me to 'marry him someday', but
after this, I'm having doubts. The subject matter no longer comes up.
So, oh great wise ones, what would you do? I really do love him, but this
really bothers me. Help. Thanks

Who in the what now??
Forget him. Obviously something is up. He's not willing, able or wanting
to tell you. A relationship should not be so one sided. Go find someone
who's willing to accept you for who and what you are, and for who and what
your son is as well.

--
A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?
A: Top-posting.
Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet?

I really do love him, but this
really bothers me

There's no future in this relationship, you've already exposed your son to
getting attached to someone who is not going to be around. Stop bringing your
son to sleepovers. Stop inviting the boyfriend over. If you want to spend
time in a relationship that is going nowhere that's your business but keep your
kid out of it.

Next time, don't expose your kid to sleepovers.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

Kate,
You had some really good points, and thoughts that I will consider.
Thanks. Your absolutly right about stop the 'shuffling' of kid back and
forth. I think you said it best about men not wanting to give up thier
'turf'. That couldn't be more true. Good work. I agree if I were to step
back a little and see how he responds would be a 'good thing'. (yikes, did
I just say that??) I have deliberated over that very notion for some time,
guess I just need to reassured that it was perfectly acceptable. It is.

"hdbabe" wrote in message
lkaboutsupport.com...
Lately I have been staying the night at my boyfriends house. My son goes
with me, he likes to go over there. So then what's the problem you say?
Well, the past couple of nights my son has wanted to stay at our house,
that's fine. Perfectly acceptable and understandable. But, when I suggest
to my BF, that he join us at our house, he always has an excuse as to why
he can't. Actually he said he won't. When I asked him why, his reply was,
"I'm not comfortable there". Huh?? I was blown away. Was I being
unreasonable? I have tried unsuccesfully to get the real reason out of
him, but I can't seem to get one. He said my kid doesn't share with his
kid. Not true. My son shares. Then he said I have to have a bed for his
kid(he's legal careprovider for a boy), while my son sleeps on a sofabed.
I'm at a loss. We have been together for almost 18 months. It seems as
though we aren't making much progress toward a future. He used to talk
about 'growing old together', and he asked me to 'marry him someday', but
after this, I'm having doubts. The subject matter no longer comes up.
So, oh great wise ones, what would you do? I really do love him, but this
really bothers me. Help. Thanks


I personally think it is inappropriate for you to be staying over with your
child at a boyfriends house, with his child. If this were an engaged couple,
the problems should have worked themselves out. I mean occasional, maybe
vacation. But think about the ramifications on your child when the
relationship dissolves. It is unfair to him or her and all too convienient
for the adult.
Remember: Milk, cow , free.
Just my opinion.
V