Saw a Woman

"badgirl" wrote

I totally understand when mothers need to use formula because of
illness or something like that, but this girl I saw (she couldn't have
been older than 22) was healthy, all made up, hair done etc.

*yet another sigh*

I understand your frustration but you don't know the full story. Your
assumptions are probably right because that's the way things are but ...

.... if you'd seen me getting formula for my DD you probably would have
thought the same. I got a month's supply at a time because that way I only
had to pay one prescription charge. So I would have 3 cases of RTF formula
stuck in the base of the stroller. DD was 12 weeks old at the time.

What you didn't see was me desperately trying to get her latch properly, the
fact that the formula was going in an SNS, the two weeks we'd just spent in
the Children's Hospital while she had blood test, X-rays, stool tests etc
for at least 10 different metabolic disorders, the tears DH and I had shed
etc etc.

So I never judge without asking for the whole story because there but for
the grace of G*d go I.

Jean

"Shannon G" wrote in message
news:cD2fc.8065$c%3.7970@okepread02...

"badgirl" wrote in message
news:5%%ec.31367$xn4.74849@attbi_s51...
in the grocery store tonight. She was paying for a case an a half
of
Similac with WIC coupons. This just depresses me. I REALLY think
the
state should be spending it's money on BF classes instead of
paying
for formula for healthy women.
I asked how old the baby was, in hopes that maybe it was young
enough
I could at least *try* to give the pro bf speech, but it was 4
months
old, way too late IMO unless someone was *extremely* determined to
relactate.

While I do think it is my responsibility to encourage mommas who bf,
I
certainly do not think it's my right to condemn those who do not.
Nor, do I
have the right to give the pro-bf speech unless it was brought up
"politely"
in a conversation. You have NO IDEA what her situation might be
(other than
22 and "healthy, all made up, hair done, etc.")


You're right, I had no idea what her situation was. Which is why I
only asked the baby's age and nothing else.


Puleeze. How do you know
she wasn't caring for her sister's baby while she was in the
hospital
fighting cancer and going through chemo and radiation?

Because you can't use someone else's WIC coupons here, you have to
show ID to prove they're yours'

Or maybe baby was
adopted?

If the baby was adopted she wouldn't be getting WIC.

No wonder pro-bf advocates get a bad rap for being so militant.
Let's get off our high horses. My $.02.

Shannon

Look, I asked the girl how old the baby was and kept my opinoins to
myself. So don't go accusing me of giving pro bf advocates a *bad rap*

Jen

"toypup" wrote in message
news:1K2fc.128324$gA5.1549213@attbi_s03...

"Denise Anderson" wrote in message
...

"badgirl" wrote in message
news:5%%ec.31367$xn4.74849@attbi_s51...
in the grocery store tonight. She was paying for a case an a
half of
Similac with WIC coupons. This just depresses me. I REALLY think
the
state should be spending it's money on BF classes instead of
paying
for formula for healthy women.


I honestly think its time for me to leave this newsgroup. Its
become more
and more judgemental. Maybe the baby was a foster child? Maybe
the mom
was
on some sort of medication for a disorder you couldn't see or
maybe, just
maybe its no one's business how a woman chooses to feed a child.

Maybe she's on that welfare to work program or can't be on welfare
anymore
and has to work. Those lower end jobs aren't conducive to pumping.
Maybe
she's combi-feeding.



Maybe, maybe and maybe...but really doubtful.

Jen

"Carol Ann" wrote in message
news:z44fc.32968$wP1.114838@attbi_s54...
in the grocery store tonight. She was paying for a case an a half
of
Similac with WIC coupons. This just depresses me. I REALLY think
the
state should be spending it's money on BF classes instead of
paying
for formula for healthy women.
I asked how old the baby was, in hopes that maybe it was young
enough
I could at least *try* to give the pro bf speech, but it was 4
months
old, way too late IMO unless someone was *extremely* determined to
relactate. If the baby was 2 weeks or younger I don't know what I
would have said, but I would have tried.
I totally understand when mothers need to use formula because of
illness or something like that, but this girl I saw (she couldn't
have
been older than 22) was healthy, all made up, hair done etc.

*yet another sigh*

The question I have is: Is she employed? If not, she should be
breastfeeding.
IMHO.

~Carol Ann



That's how I feel. Who knows if she is working though, I didn't ask
her. If she is though, it isn't much because she wouldn't qualify for
WIC coupons with a full time job. (My sister could only work about 20
hours a week on minimum wage to get hers)

Jen

"nina" wrote in message
...

"Carol Ann" wrote in message
news:z44fc.32968$wP1.114838@attbi_s54...
in the grocery store tonight. She was paying for a case an a
half of
Similac with WIC coupons. This just depresses me. I REALLY think
the
state should be spending it's money on BF classes instead of
paying
for formula for healthy women.
I asked how old the baby was, in hopes that maybe it was young
enough
I could at least *try* to give the pro bf speech, but it was 4
months
old, way too late IMO unless someone was *extremely* determined
to
relactate. If the baby was 2 weeks or younger I don't know what
I
would have said, but I would have tried.
I totally understand when mothers need to use formula because of
illness or something like that, but this girl I saw (she
couldn't have
been older than 22) was healthy, all made up, hair done etc.

*yet another sigh*

The question I have is: Is she employed? If not, she should be
breastfeeding.
IMHO.

She'd still get WIC so it isnt like she's somehow cheating the
system by
refusing to breastfeed and getting government goodies.



Nope, but I still think she could use them for other household
*goodies*. Milk for herself, or cheese or butter or juice. Formula is
so expensive though and the money could stretch further buying other
WIC qualified goods.

Jen

"nina" wrote in message
...

"badgirl" wrote in message
news:5%%ec.31367$xn4.74849@attbi_s51...
in the grocery store tonight. She was paying for a case an a half
of
Similac with WIC coupons. This just depresses me. I REALLY think
the
state should be spending it's money on BF classes instead of
paying
for formula for healthy women.

They do,

Not here...my sister tried to find some when she had her baby and
there was nothing she could take without paying either cash or having
it covered on insurance...which it wasn't on State insurance either.
Pretty messed up if you ask me. Almost like not giving them a chance
to bf in the first place.

and they also give breastfeeding women WIC for a year, 6 months
longer
than nonbreastfeeding mothers.But if the women cant or wont
breastfeed, they
do formula.
The whole point is making sure the babies dont starve.


I know, and I agree with that, it still upsets me though.

Jen



I asked how old the baby was, in hopes that maybe it was young
enough
I could at least *try* to give the pro bf speech, but it was 4
months
old, way too late IMO unless someone was *extremely* determined to
relactate. If the baby was 2 weeks or younger I don't know what I
would have said, but I would have tried.
I totally understand when mothers need to use formula because of
illness or something like that, but this girl I saw (she couldn't
have
been older than 22) was healthy, all made up, hair done etc.

Maybe she had a job and really wasnt able to pump enough to feed the
child
while she was
at work (or school)

"Denise Anderson" wrote in message
...

"badgirl" wrote in message
news:5%%ec.31367$xn4.74849@attbi_s51...
in the grocery store tonight. She was paying for a case an a half
of
Similac with WIC coupons. This just depresses me. I REALLY think
the
state should be spending it's money on BF classes instead of
paying
for formula for healthy women.


I honestly think its time for me to leave this newsgroup. Its
become more
and more judgemental. Maybe the baby was a foster child? Maybe the
mom was
on some sort of medication for a disorder you couldn't see or maybe,
just
maybe its no one's business how a woman chooses to feed a child.

Denise



Let me be clear here....

I am NOT upset with the mother. She was young and on State aid. I am
upset with the way my state welfare system runs. Instead of having
this girl go to bf classes they hand her a book of formula coupons.
That bothers me because it's almost like they don't even give her a
chance to really try to bf. It sucks and it makes me angry. And if you
want to leave the newsgroup over that well then....I won't say what my
next thought was

Jen

"Cheryl S." wrote in message
...
"KR" wrote in message
...
I know, although breastfeeding is best it isn't the only way.
I mean she could be feeding the child chocolate milk,

....or sno-cone syrup...
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 3, and Jaden, 7 months



I couldn't even respond to that thread. *groan*

Jen

"KR" wrote in message
...
I know, although breastfeeding is best it isn't the only way. I
mean she
could be feeding the child chocolate milk, then you'd be wishing she
was
feeding her baby formula?

Wrong. And of course you took my post the wrong way just like Denise
did. But that's ok, whatever.

There are lots of reasons why some women don't
breastfeed, it doesn't make them bad mothers and it doesn't make the
kids
bad kids. Maybe the OP should mind her own business and just let
people
feed their babie's formula if they so choose.

And the next time I see someone smacking their kid in public I
ll mind my own business then too right?

LOL.

Jen


"Denise Anderson" wrote in message
...

"badgirl" wrote in message
news:5%%ec.31367$xn4.74849@attbi_s51...
in the grocery store tonight. She was paying for a case an a
half of
Similac with WIC coupons. This just depresses me. I REALLY think
the
state should be spending it's money on BF classes instead of
paying
for formula for healthy women.


I honestly think its time for me to leave this newsgroup. Its
become more
and more judgemental. Maybe the baby was a foster child? Maybe
the mom
was
on some sort of medication for a disorder you couldn't see or
maybe, just
maybe its no one's business how a woman chooses to feed a child.

Denise

badgirl wrote:
in the grocery store tonight. She was paying for a case an a half of
Similac with WIC coupons. This just depresses me.


It depresses you because she was buying formula or because she was using
WIC coupons?

We went through a lot of formula in the first seven weeks with the
twins. Well, I was in the hospital for the first 10 days but after we
were home DH went to buy formula several times. We only bought a can at
a time since we kept hoping each one would be the last.

Anyone who dared to say a word to either him or me about FF or
relactating would have got a serious lecture from me about emergency
c-sections with general anesthesa, breech twins, HELLP syndrome, acute
renal and liver failure, DIC, delayed milk production, around the clock
pumping, supplemental nursing systems, and lots and lots of tears and
frustration. And likely a punch in the face from my DH, who pretty much
acted as mommy and daddy to our boys for the first 3-4 weeks of their
life because I was too ill to even carry them across the room.

I'm not saying this is the case with the woman you saw. I'm just saying
you never know the whole story.

Jen
twin boys born 11/26/03, fully breastfed/breastmilkfed since 7 weeks of age