not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?

Anyone heard of this?

What are your thoughts?

http://www.awareparenting.com/answer13.htm

Its all so confusing! I thought it would be much kinder to them if they
didn't cry - a dummy/boob/rocking/wrapping helps that, but what do we
really know about how much a baby *needs* to cry?

Am I just delirious with lack of sleep for even considering this?


Jo (Mum to a cat-napping Will, 4.5 months)

"Jo" wrote in message
...
Anyone heard of this?

What are your thoughts?

http://www.awareparenting.com/answer13.htm

Its all so confusing! I thought it would be much kinder to them if they
didn't cry - a dummy/boob/rocking/wrapping helps that, but what do we
really know about how much a baby *needs* to cry?

Am I just delirious with lack of sleep for even considering this?


I'm skeptical that a four-month-old baby only needs one or two night feeds,
and possibly only if he/she was small for age. It doesn't sound like the
author BF, but I could be wrong. I'll give her that though, that she does
recommend checking for hunger first, disapproves of CIO and isn't
anti-cosleeping.
The AAP recently came out in favour of dummies/pacifiers in SIDS prevention,
but stupidly IMO were against even safe co-sleeping and didn't mention
comfort sucking at the breast, which is the obvious biological SIDS
prevention strategy for those who are BF and happy to let their babies
comfort suck.
I think some babies need to suck, and I can't see a problem with it unless
it's becoming too much for the mother to handle. I've also heard that babies
that age typically cry for an hour and a half a day. Sure, if nothing else
works and they're still going to cry, it's probably nicer for them to cry in
someone's arms, and there's no point feeling guilty about why your baby is
*still* crying.
If it's driving you insane to the point where you can't cope, I also think
it's acceptable to put them in their beds for 15 mins or so and take time
out where you can't hear them. No CIO is the ideal IMO, but we can't be
perfect all the time.


--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/



--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/

I'm skeptical that a four-month-old baby only needs one or two night feeds,
and possibly only if he/she was small for age. It doesn't sound like the
author BF, but I could be wrong.

Every baby is different. All 3 of my children slept through the night from a
young age. Jas 6weeks Sean 7weeks, Tara before we left the hospital (3days)
And all my children have been or are breastfeed. So just because one child
needed night feeds doesnt mean the next will just as it doesnt mean that
many dont need many night feeds. And I think the emphase is on NEEDS they
probably only do NEED one or two feeds but the probably WANT many more.

Cheri

Jake Mysterio wrote:
I'm skeptical that a four-month-old baby only needs one or two night feeds,
and possibly only if he/she was small for age. It doesn't sound like the
author BF, but I could be wrong.


Every baby is different. All 3 of my children slept through the night from a
young age. Jas 6weeks Sean 7weeks, Tara before we left the hospital (3days)
And all my children have been or are breastfeed. So just because one child
needed night feeds doesnt mean the next will just as it doesnt mean that
many dont need many night feeds. And I think the emphase is on NEEDS they
probably only do NEED one or two feeds but the probably WANT many more.

Cheri



Yup, Will used to feed at 10pm, 4am, 7am. That was for about a month,
then for a week it was 10pm, 5am, 7:30am... even better! Now, for the
last 3 weeks it is a completely diffrerent story.

Jo

Jo wrote:

Yup, Will used to feed at 10pm, 4am, 7am. That was for about a month,
then for a week it was 10pm, 5am, 7:30am... even better! Now, for the
last 3 weeks it is a completely diffrerent story.

When something like that happens, I wonder about a
growth spurt and/or other developmental changes. He may
be getting to the age where he *can* keep himself awake,
and so he is. In my experience, at that point you have
to give them the picture that the interesting world isn't
going to come back if they fuss. So, I'd go back in
and pat or cuddle or whatever, but no lights, no talking,
no stimulation, no fun. I'd put them back down as soon
as they settled a bit. Sometimes I'd have to repeat a
*lot* before they went back to sleep, but this was usually
a rare thing, so a night or two wasn't a killer in terms
of the big picture.

Best wishes,
Ericka

Ericka Kammerer wrote:
Jo wrote:

Yup, Will used to feed at 10pm, 4am, 7am. That was for about a month,
then for a week it was 10pm, 5am, 7:30am... even better! Now, for the
last 3 weeks it is a completely diffrerent story.


When something like that happens, I wonder about a
growth spurt and/or other developmental changes.

I thought a growth spurt in the beginning, but it's been 3 weeks now,
and sleep patterns have not returned to his previous normal. I thought
of other developmental things, too... like trying to roll, etc... but
when he does wake, he's not *doing* anything but semi-crying with eyes
closed and mouth open waiting for the dummy!

He may
be getting to the age where he *can* keep himself awake,
and so he is. In my experience, at that point you have
to give them the picture that the interesting world isn't
going to come back if they fuss. So, I'd go back in
and pat or cuddle or whatever, but no lights, no talking,
no stimulation, no fun. I'd put them back down as soon
as they settled a bit. Sometimes I'd have to repeat a
*lot* before they went back to sleep, but this was usually
a rare thing, so a night or two wasn't a killer in terms
of the big picture.

Yup, all I do when I go to him to resettle is put the dummy back in, or
if his arms are unwrapped, rewrap him, put my hand on his chest and say
'back to sleep' in a low voice, and leave again.

Thanks for your thoughts, Ericka

Jo

"Jake Mysterio" wrote in message
...
I'm skeptical that a four-month-old baby only needs one or two night
feeds, and possibly only if he/she was small for age. It doesn't sound
like the author BF, but I could be wrong.

Every baby is different. All 3 of my children slept through the night from
a young age. Jas 6weeks Sean 7weeks, Tara before we left the hospital
(3days) And all my children have been or are breastfeed. So just because
one child needed night feeds doesnt mean the next will just as it doesnt
mean that many dont need many night feeds. And I think the emphase is on
NEEDS they probably only do NEED one or two feeds but the probably WANT
many more.

Looking back, I think DD at 3-4 months was down to 1-2 feeds a night. I got
the impression from reading at MKB that this was unusual rather than the
norm, but I could be wrong. Four months old seems so little when you have a
15 month old, and my memory is surprisingly hazy!
Since I would still be feeding a four month old baby on demand, 'want' would
translate to 'need' for me.

--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/

Mum of Two wrote:
"Jake Mysterio" wrote in message
...

I'm skeptical that a four-month-old baby only needs one or two night
feeds, and possibly only if he/she was small for age. It doesn't sound
like the author BF, but I could be wrong.

Every baby is different. All 3 of my children slept through the night from
a young age. Jas 6weeks Sean 7weeks, Tara before we left the hospital
(3days) And all my children have been or are breastfeed. So just because
one child needed night feeds doesnt mean the next will just as it doesnt
mean that many dont need many night feeds. And I think the emphase is on
NEEDS they probably only do NEED one or two feeds but the probably WANT
many more.


Looking back, I think DD at 3-4 months was down to 1-2 feeds a night. I got
the impression from reading at MKB that this was unusual rather than the
norm, but I could be wrong. Four months old seems so little when you have a
15 month old, and my memory is surprisingly hazy!
Since I would still be feeding a four month old baby on demand, 'want' would
translate to 'need' for me.


Heh. My 15th month old just (like last week) went down to
1-2 feeds a night!

1-2 feeds a night at 4 months would have been heaven. Sigh.

Mary W.

Mary W. wrote:


Mum of Two wrote:


Looking back, I think DD at 3-4 months was down to 1-2 feeds a night.
I got the impression from reading at MKB that this was unusual rather
than the norm, but I could be wrong. Four months old seems so little
when you have a 15 month old, and my memory is surprisingly hazy!
Since I would still be feeding a four month old baby on demand, 'want'
would translate to 'need' for me.


Heh. My 15th month old just (like last week) went down to
1-2 feeds a night!

1-2 feeds a night at 4 months would have been heaven. Sigh.

Mary W.


Yeah, it was while it lasted!!

Jo

I'm skeptical that a four-month-old baby only needs one or two night
feeds,
and possibly only if he/she was small for age. It doesn't sound like the
author BF, but I could be wrong. I'll give her that though, that she does
recommend checking for hunger first, disapproves of CIO and isn't
anti-cosleeping.

really? Ada has been sleeping through from 9 weeks, with no training at all,
she's just started waking for 1 feed and is 4 months and 1 week. Nathanael
slept through at fairly much spot on 4 months, and he only weighed just over
10 pounds at four months, again, no training. It's probably not normal, but
it's certainly possible.

Anne