If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#71
|
|||
|
|||
"'Kate" wrote in message ... On Fri, 17 Dec 2004 18:19:48 -0600, steveb wrote: On Sat, 18 Dec 2004 00:18:27 GMT, 'Kate wrote: I'd have to disagree in principle.. All of this is true, of course, if you pick the wrong partner ste .. The divorce rate for second marriages suggests that we tend to do just that. I remain ever hopeful that some do, indeed, work well. 'Kate Plus one doesn't know they picked the wrong partner until its to late. T |
#72
|
|||
|
|||
"'Kate" wrote in message ... On Fri, 17 Dec 2004 23:20:02 -0500, "Tiffany" wrote: Plus one doesn't know they picked the wrong partner until its to late. T Yep... that's true. If we didn't notice the warning signs the first time and it ends badly, then how can we be sure that we didn't miss them the second time. er... don't want to scare anyone... getting married is good... if it's to the righit person. Step families can work very well. They can and often do benefit the children if only by providing another adult to share the work of the household. 'Kate Oh I agree! But I also agree that the step-parent should not try to be the 'parent'. Me and the guy I am seeing already discussed this..... I told him I will not parent his kids nor he mine. Plus I kind of can't say no to the little boy, he is to damn cute. T |
#73
|
|||
|
|||
"Tiffany" wrote in message ... "'Kate" wrote in message ... On Fri, 17 Dec 2004 23:20:02 -0500, "Tiffany" wrote: Plus one doesn't know they picked the wrong partner until its to late. T Yep... that's true. If we didn't notice the warning signs the first time and it ends badly, then how can we be sure that we didn't miss them the second time. er... don't want to scare anyone... getting married is good... if it's to the righit person. Step families can work very well. They can and often do benefit the children if only by providing another adult to share the work of the household. 'Kate Oh I agree! But I also agree that the step-parent should not try to be the 'parent'. Me and the guy I am seeing already discussed this..... I told him I will not parent his kids nor he mine. Plus I kind of can't say no to the little boy, he is to damn cute. So when is the wedding? ;-p T |
#74
|
|||
|
|||
The children did come first. The parent and child have a longer
history together (usually) and the longer that history, the longer period of time that the step parent will have to wait to "belong". Step parents *will* have to understand that *all of this* is part of the package. They may very well feel excluded until an individual family has found its "way". That's just how it is. And it's better that the step parent wait and take his/her time than have the child feel pushed out. Adults can be adults. Kids can be kids. If there's any "give" then it's up to the adult to give first. 'Kate What she said. Without the boots. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#75
|
|||
|
|||
The divorce rate for second marriages suggests that we tend to do just
that. I don't think it has anything to do withe picking the right person. I think the failure rate with second marraiges has to do with this unrealistic expectation that because the husband and wife love each other, the whole family is gonna come on board, they will all instantly jell into a family. I remain ever hopeful that some do, indeed, work well. And I'm convinced the ones that work come with realistic expecations of even "the right person" Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#76
|
|||
|
|||
er... don't want to scare anyone... getting married is good... if it's
to the righit person. But even with the "right" person there are problems. The right person has flaws and weaknesses as you do - you just have to decide that what is good is worth putting up with the flaws. And accepting that you are not going to change the weaknesses. Step families can work very well. They can and often do benefit the children if only by providing another adult to share the work of the household. Yes, I'm seriously taking that into consideration - considering a change of heart from our email ;-) ...the extra income doesn't hurt either. Just have to decide if the good points outweigh the not so good... Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#77
|
|||
|
|||
|
#78
|
|||
|
|||
|
#79
|
|||
|
|||
|
#80
|
|||
|
|||
"Joelle" wrote in message ... But boy, you'd sure have to have compatible child rearing views & styles to make it work. And isn't that the point. Okay, now i'm thinking some of you that haven't been married or had bad marraiges maybe think that a good marraige parents agree about childrraising all the time? Let me disabuse you of that fantasy. A couple can be compatible, share values, blah blah blah and still disagree about "Should we let her pierce her ears, buy that game, ect?" When you are both the parents, you have to work that out, compromise. You aren't going to agree on everything. Someone is going to have to give in. When a step parent is involved, I'm saying ONE PERSON makes those decisions, and it's not the step parent. The parent decides if she gets to wear that shirt to the dance, not the step parent. I don't think agreeing on the shirt should be a requirement for getting married, I think agreeing WHO decides about the shirt is a requirment for getting married. And I also believe discipline is the parents job. You earn the right to discipline a child by virtue of having been there their whole life...not by having sex with their mother or father. Now I'm getting deja vue and wondering if I ought to be shining up those KGB boots... Joelle LOL..... funny thing to read this cold Saturday morning. I agree with what you say Joelle. Though I am sure the parent will take the step-parents idea's and views into consideration, because you know we aren't ALWAYS right...... the end decision is the bio-parents solely. T |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Where's Bri ? | Nick | Single Parents | 3 | April 24th 04 12:27 PM |
Feb. FAQ | turtledove | Single Parents | 0 | February 2nd 04 12:53 PM |
December's FAQ | turtledove | Single Parents | 1 | December 7th 03 07:37 PM |
November's FAQ! | turtledove | Single Parents | 0 | November 1st 03 04:13 PM |
FAQ October 2003 | turtledove | Single Parents | 0 | October 17th 03 03:50 AM |