Mourning for what could have been, rather than what was.

My Grandfather passed away on Sunday, it was also the first day of snow.
He'd been battling cancer for a couple years. His memorial is tomorrow and
apparently there will be close to 200 people there, as he was very active in
the community and well respected. God, I'm going to be a mess tomorrow. I
just finished reading his obituary, and I feel so much sadness at his
duality. The people that he worked with saw a different side to him than
his own family. I felt most of my life that I was a disappointment, mostly
for becoming a single parent. I struggled over the years and didn't live up
to my potential in his eyes, yet I don't regret my choice. I know on my
death bed, wishing I worked more won't be something I'll be thinking about.
My grandmother told me though, that when he was dying, he told her to take
watch out for me. I just wish he was able to show me he loved me while he
was alive, because I rarely felt it.

Christine

"CME" wrote in message
news:Nrdcf.117261$yS6.42032@clgrps12...
My Grandfather passed away on Sunday, it was also the first day of snow.
He'd been battling cancer for a couple years. His memorial is tomorrow
and apparently there will be close to 200 people there, as he was very
active in the community and well respected. God, I'm going to be a mess
tomorrow. I just finished reading his obituary, and I feel so much
sadness at his duality. The people that he worked with saw a different
side to him than his own family. I felt most of my life that I was a
disappointment, mostly for becoming a single parent. I struggled over the
years and didn't live up to my potential in his eyes, yet I don't regret
my choice. I know on my death bed, wishing I worked more won't be
something I'll be thinking about. My grandmother told me though, that when
he was dying, he told her to take watch out for me. I just wish he was
able to show me he loved me while he was alive, because I rarely felt it.

Christine


So terribly sorry for your loss... I understand what you are saying and it
is indeed a bitter pill on your tongue... You are a wonderful mom... You are
doing a great job... You have no regrets... Why should you have? Your
grandfather missed out on a good thing... You!! That's HIS regret and
obviously he's realized it way too late in life...

*HUGZ*
I truly am sorry!

Kim

"CME" wrote in message
news:Nrdcf.117261$yS6.42032@clgrps12...
My Grandfather passed away on Sunday, it was also the first day of snow.
He'd been battling cancer for a couple years. His memorial is tomorrow
and apparently there will be close to 200 people there, as he was very
active in the community and well respected. God, I'm going to be a mess
tomorrow. I just finished reading his obituary, and I feel so much
sadness at his duality. The people that he worked with saw a different
side to him than his own family. I felt most of my life that I was a
disappointment, mostly for becoming a single parent. I struggled over the
years and didn't live up to my potential in his eyes, yet I don't regret
my choice. I know on my death bed, wishing I worked more won't be
something I'll be thinking about. My grandmother told me though, that when
he was dying, he told her to take watch out for me. I just wish he was
able to show me he loved me while he was alive, because I rarely felt it.

Christine


(((Christine))))

Trust me, he loved and adored you. That generation of men, they mostly
aren't about showing affections. My grandfather was the same way. It wasn't
until my grandma died that he actually said he loved me and that was in a
card. He then died a year later and while in the hospital, he was then
concerned for me and mydaughter (who had just lost her father).

Don't doubt for a second that he was proud of you. I feel this will become
more apparent to you in the upcoming weeks.

T

Thanks everyone...

His memorial was today and it was amazing how much his life affected others.
There was over 200 people at the service, I don't think when he planned it,
he realized how many people admired him and were going to attend. lol But I
found out some things about my Grandfather I didn't know. That he was
behind many policies in labour relations, health and safety, education, and
politics here in Alberta. He was the first chairman of the board of NAIT,
helped build the Dew Line up north, as well as the Pipeline that runs
through Northern Alberta, the Dam in Sask, numerous buildings in Iran etc
etc. He was a highschool math teacher, and an engineer. He put himself
through University while he had a wife and 4 kids to support, and visited
over 30 countries. Those were the things I remember, he accomplished much
more. He obviously placed a great deal of importance on his career and
contribution to his community, to the detriment of his family at times but
still, he was a good man. He loved us all very much, he just had
difficulties showing it. I was proud today, to be related to such a man.

Christine

"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 10 Nov 2005 08:13:15 GMT, "CME" the
following was posted in blue dry erase marker:


Thanks everyone...

His memorial was today and it was amazing how much his life affected
others.
There was over 200 people at the service, I don't think when he planned
it,
he realized how many people admired him and were going to attend. lol But
I
found out some things about my Grandfather I didn't know. That he was
behind many policies in labour relations, health and safety, education,
and
politics here in Alberta. He was the first chairman of the board of NAIT,
helped build the Dew Line up north, as well as the Pipeline that runs
through Northern Alberta, the Dam in Sask, numerous buildings in Iran etc
etc. He was a highschool math teacher, and an engineer. He put himself
through University while he had a wife and 4 kids to support, and visited
over 30 countries. Those were the things I remember, he accomplished much
more. He obviously placed a great deal of importance on his career and
contribution to his community, to the detriment of his family at times but
still, he was a good man. He loved us all very much, he just had
difficulties showing it. I was proud today, to be related to such a man.

Christine

Wow.. what a life he had! That's so neat.

'Kate

Yeah whoa does mine pale in comparison! lol

Christine