A Parenting & kids forum. ParentingBanter.com

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Go Back   Home » ParentingBanter.com forum » misc.kids » Pregnancy
Site Map Home Authors List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read Web Partners

Midwives and my birth/story



 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #21  
Old May 17th 04, 10:32 PM
Circe
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Midwives and my birth/story

Ilse Witch wrote:
Like you, I had long labour
with DS and was put on pitocin drip (didn't want epidural though).
The reason I was given (I asked afterwards again) was that the
contractions were not productive and just making me tired. The way
things were going, I'd be labouring for days and just get very
exhausted. Then I wouldn't have energy left to push, which is the
hardest bit.

Just an observation, but I didn't find pushing to be "the hardest bit" at
all, at least not during my unmedicated labors. It was a bit harder during
the one when I had an epidural, but that was because I couldn't feel what I
was doing. Maybe I was just lucky and my babies were in good positions, but
pushing just didn't take much effort on my part at all--certainly not nearly
as much effort as *not* pushing would have been!
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 4), and the Rising Son (Julian, 6)

Aurora (in the bathroom with her dad)--"It looks like an elephant, Daddy."
Me (later)--"You should feel flattered."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman


  #22  
Old May 17th 04, 10:41 PM
Nikki
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Midwives and my birth/story

Circe wrote:

Just an observation, but I didn't find pushing to be "the hardest
bit" at all, at least not during my unmedicated labors. It was a bit
harder during the one when I had an epidural, but that was because I
couldn't feel what I was doing. Maybe I was just lucky and my babies
were in good positions, but pushing just didn't take much effort on
my part at all--certainly not nearly as much effort as *not* pushing
would have been!


The pushing just completely totally sucked with my #1 and was just peachy
with my #2. With #1 I started pushing when they told me to. *Don't do
that!!!*. It totally messed everything up and I never did get back on
track. Wait until you feel the urge to push even if you are at 10cm for an
hour first! That is my theory anyway :-)


--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3)


  #23  
Old May 17th 04, 10:52 PM
Tori M.
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Midwives and my birth/story

I am just confused a bit. Did they put you on a drip epidural? I only had
my epidural in for 45 minutes or so but I dont understand how it could keep
wearing off without someone shutting it off. Do they have kinds that they
just give you anouther shot at intervals?

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Anna or Xavier due 10/17/04
"Jill" wrote in message
om...
Argh. While my husband is holding the baby, I just wanted to post about my
birth experience. (Motherhood is great! But ouch....I am in soooooo much
pain, a whole week later! read on...)

I had discussed my birthing plans with the midwife beforehand and had told
her definitely, I did not want to be in any more pain that I had to and
would want an epidural (and would let her know if by chance I didn't end

up
feeling like I needed one). When they asked me what was most important to
me, I said the health of the baby- I will consent to any procedure
necessary, if it IS necessary, for the baby's safety, and also- it was
really imoprtant to me not to be in pain. They emphasized to me that it is
my choice and they fully support whatever I want be it epidural or IV meds
or nothing at all. But they assured me, they would have no problems with

me
having an epidural, that a lot of their patients have them.

But what happened....was traumatic, I labored for 18 hours! My water broke
at 4am. I had no pain or cramping or contractions. We went to the hospital
at about 5:30am. It took a while to get me checked in, and still no
contractions. The midwife showed up and immediately ordered an IV drip of
Pitocin!! She didn't even ask me, but she did tell me she wanted to do it
and her reasoning. She just said she didn't want me going any longer

without
contractions. I don't understand this? I told her I've heard Pitocin

causes
more painful contractions and also can increase chances of a C-section.

She
said it increases C-section chances ONLY when used in someone whose cervix
is not ready and probably in people who would end up having a C anyway.

She
did say the contractions hit harder, and told me they would increase my
pitocin very slowly and give me an epidural as soon as the pain became too
bad.

Well, it was a few hours but the pain hit HARD. She orderedn the epidural
and checked me and I was only dilated to 2cm. Since I had the epidural she
turned up the Pitocin. I had NO problems with the epidural..I could move

my
legs and feel everything, but felt no pain, it didn't bother my back or
leave me with a headache. But.,......in 2 hours it wore off, and they

called
anesthesia to give me more meds. They checked me and I was dilated 10-

fully
dilated! This was about 3pm. She wanted me to "labor down" before pushing

so
she had the Pitocin turned off and had me rest for an hour. My epidural

wore
off again! This time she wanted me to push before ythe epidural and it

went
on for a long time until I was hurting SO bad and nothing was

accomplished.
I was pushing hard but the baby wasn't moving. I begged for the epidural
again and she finally called anesthesia back. Well.......after more

pushing
and no baby, and me being completely exhausted and in pain....the epidural
wore off again!!! I was crying out in pain, and insisting I wanted and
needed pain relief per my birth plan. It was way too long before she
actually agreed to get the anesthesia person back in. THEN the midwife

told
the anesthesiologist "Give her only half the amount you have been since

she
needs to push". The anesthesiologist shot her a look and looked at me (I'm
crying by now) and said "If I give half I may as well not even give ANY
because it won't help" and the anesthesiologist gave me MORE--- GOD BLESS
HER!!!! I was truly in agony, I don't know why it was so bad. Or why the
midwife seemed to not care if my epodural wore off. So anyway after 2 more
hours of pushing, they had been seeing the baby's head all this time but

she
was STUCK, and the midwife even said she could see I was truly pushing

hard.
She finally told me that I was a good pusher and the baby should have been
out by now but wasn't coming down. The midwife told me she was calling the
OB and transferring care to him, and she told me to get ready for a
C-section!!! She told me it would be the doctor's decision, her hands

were
out of it now, but in allhonesty I was headed for a C-section so she was
having the nurses prepare me. I was SO tense!!! And worried. Also by this
time the midwife had caused a vaginal tear while reaching in me.

Well...the OB, a really wonderful doctor who I had never met, came in and
checked me and said he thought he could get the baby out himself. He did
have to use forceps and I did have to push but he had the baby out in 10
minutes!!! He also scolded the nurses for some equipment being labelled
wrong, my husband said (I wasn't paying attention!) The dr was

all-business
and he got the job done.

And one more thing I forgot to mention, all the while my epidural had worn
off, the midwife kept telling me "You said it hurts once- don't mention it
again! We are going to think about something else now", and wouldn't let
them redo my epidural until SHE wantd them to. My mom did come to the
hospital and heard the midwife telling me at the beginning that they would
give me pain medication to take care of my pain, not to be nervous. My
husband never left my side the entire labor so he witnessed how the

midwife
did. But anyway, every time after that I said I hurt and was asking for
epidural, the midwife would get on me and tell me I had to think about
something else, my pain would "not be zero", I would hurt some. !!!! I was
furious. Actually that was afterwards, during labor I was just upset and

in
a lot of pain.

I feel the midwife was WAY wrong to deny me the epidural after it kept
wearing off. My labor nurse said hers wore off every 2 hours also. Also,

if
the midwife had turned me over to the OB in the first place, soon after
realizxing the baby wasn't coming out, I wonder if I would have as many
stitches. They did not do episiotomy but I tore through the muscles and

had
a lot of stitches.

The past few days I have been in excriciating pain. The midwives , every
time I call them , get on me for mentioning the pain. They gave me Lortab
which is ineffective and finally ended up giving me Percocet. But my

bottom
is SO sore. One of the midwives in the groups told me over the phone that
they didn't think I hurt any more than anyone else, that it was my

"anxiety"
causing me to "think" I hurt bad. !!!!!!Then she said "Do you think that's
what it is Jiiiiiiill?" My husband was in the room, and looked kind of
surprised when I took a tone with her for the rest of the phone call. My
husband had me call the midwife on call because he wanted them to meet me

at
the ER to make sure my stitches aren't coming out or I am not bleeding
internally. I finally ended up calling the OB on call for the OBs office
that the midwives partner with. I told him about all of this. He told me

his
wife had the same thing happen (had a tear through her muscles) and that

it
is very painful indeed and he knew that's what happened to me from what
happened during labor and my description of the pain now. He's having me
come in Monday to see the OB who delivered my baby to check me. He said
unfortunately, the midwives don't like to treat pain with medicines, that
the OBs are more pain-centered. I told him-- they told me at my initial
consult that they had no problem giving you whatever pain relief you need-
then I told him about the anxiety comment. He sort of couldn't believe

that.
But he also couldn't believe the midwife let me keep pushing when the baby
was stuck, for 4 hours...

Sigh..................I will not be seeing the midwives anymore. They were
fantastic during my appointments but labor with them was hell. Their
treatment after labor when I have been in very bad pain from the stitches,
has been horrid too. My husband even commented that for no reason, they

have
been kind of attitudey and sarcastic, whenever the subject of pain or
request for pain relief comes up and he agrees with me if they want to be
unhelpful with it, they should have told me when I told them I didn't want

a
natural birth instead of telling me they give epidurals and whatever else
the patient needs or prefers.

But the bottom line is, my daughter is beautiful and worth it, perfect and
healthy,and I would do it all over again to have her. Oh- the OB also told
me if I HAD labored naturally without Pitocin, I probably really wouldn't
have hurt as bad THEN as I did this time with the epidurals that wore off,
because my contractions priobably wouldn't have been nearly as bad!! he

also
said a recovery from a c-section would potentially be less painful than
recovery from the kind of tears and stitches I had. NOW they tell me!

I think next time I will stick with an OB and have a doula, instead of a
nurse-midwife.




  #24  
Old May 17th 04, 11:05 PM
Circe
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Midwives and my birth/story

Nikki wrote:
Circe wrote:
Just an observation, but I didn't find pushing to be "the hardest
bit" at all, at least not during my unmedicated labors. It was a
bit harder during the one when I had an epidural, but that was
because I couldn't feel what I was doing. Maybe I was just lucky
and my babies were in good positions, but pushing just didn't take
much effort on my part at all--certainly not nearly as much effort
as *not* pushing would have been!


The pushing just completely totally sucked with my #1 and was just
peachy with my #2. With #1 I started pushing when they told me to.
*Don't do that!!!*. It totally messed everything up and I never
did get back on track. Wait until you feel the urge to push even
if you are at 10cm for an hour first! That is my theory anyway :-)


Even with my first, when I'd had an epidural and couldn't feel a blamed
thing, I was able to get the head almost to crowning within about 20
minutes; I just couldn't get him "over the hump" so to speak so my OB got
impatient and used the vacuum. Total pushing stage with #1 was only 30
minutes, though it obviously would have been longer without that
intervention. #2 was out in 15 minutes and #3 out in under 5 minutes. But I
guess you can see from that time progression why that *labor* part always
seems "harder" to me than the "pushing" part g!

I definitely agree with not pushing until you feel the urge to do so, unless
you've had an epidural, in which case, you might not feel an urge at all.
FWIW, I *do* think that Jill's midwives suggestion that she "labor down" and
their desire for the epidural to have worn off in the pushing stage makes
sense from a practical POV, even if it wasn't what Jill wanted. It's just
generally a *lot* easier to push effectively when you can feel what's going
on, and that's particularly true in a case where the baby isn't moving when
you're pushing with an epidural. I know that when I had an epidural, I could
only really feel that I was pushing correctly towards the very end of a
contraction, which meant I really wasn't getting any value for my efforts
until the last few seconds each time. I was just lucky to have a baby who
was in a good position and (apparently) a very strong uterus that could do a
lot of the work on its own.
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 4), and the Rising Son (Julian, 6)

Aurora (in the bathroom with her dad)--"It looks like an elephant, Daddy."
Me (later)--"You should feel flattered."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman


  #25  
Old May 18th 04, 12:49 AM
Jill
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Midwives and my birth/story


"Dagny" wrote in message
news
Jill

What a nightmare.

I don't know what to say except that I am very upset at what you
experienced. I went through my own birth trauma last fall. Too much

mental
and physical damage.

To as much recovery as we can,
Dagny

Mom to Meg, 10/03
and to a possibility, ?1/19/05?



I am so glad others understand! It was truly completely mentally and
physically draining. I was in so much pain even through yesterday and today
that I got worked in with an OB just to make sure everything is healing ok
etc. We figured out what was causing the pain and I think I am on the way
back up now. But what an ordeal! The midwives weren't too happy I followed
up with an OB they partner with- but that's really not their choice, is it?

OTOH-- the OB that delivered Rachel was WONDERFUL. I plan to see him for my
6-week postnatal followup. He really took charge in delivery, and his
reputation also preceded him. He is surprisingly young looking- I swear he
looked like he's in his 20's. I was like "Oh here comes Doogie Howser!"
LMAO(and actually, I think he MUST be in his 30's, and he is actually good
looking unlike Doogie Howser)-- but, he is actually very very thorough and
nitpicky and insisted that everything be done exactly his way, the right
way, to the tee etc. The nurse told my husband that when he (OB) is on call,
he can dial in from home and watch the computers of people who are in labor,
that he might be needed to come attend to. He can see the baby, the
contractions etc. So anyway, they told me the midwives at least had alerted
him to the fact he might be needed after my first pushing, so he was
monitoring it before he came in. And like I said, although I was already to
be in for a painful recovery, he delivered my baby without me having to have
a C and did a good job stitching me up.

It helps to know others have BTDT. I still envy those with easy labors! I
know several who breezed through. I am terrified to think I want 2 more
kids!

Jill


  #26  
Old May 18th 04, 12:55 AM
Jill
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Midwives and my birth/story


"Coccinella" wrote
Anyway you got the best present a mother could wish for this past Mother's
day!
Congratulations again to you and DH and welcome to lovely Rachel.
Wishing you a very speedy and complete recovery.

Pampering vibes on your way.



Thanks Nicky (and everyone!)....when I hold Rachel in my arms I really do
forget everything else! I am trying to work on getting pictures up. She is a
doll....she really brings me joy! Breastfeeding is still going great, she
only cries when she's wet or hungry, and we are cosleeping- something I
never thought I could do, but I can't rest if she's not there!

Last night, we were all 3 asleep in bed, with Rachel in the middle with
plenty of room on each side of her between her and Mommy and Daddy....I
don't sleep too deeply since I always seem to have one ear on her breathing
and cooing etc....I dozed off, and when I woke up, she was nestled up to me
nursing! It was amazing...I don't know how she did that, she had to scoot a
little bit to get latched on (I was wearing a nursing gown and I guess the
flap was in the right position!).......that was sooooooooooo sweet and
amazing feeling. I thought nursing would be time consuming and difficult at
times (it is) but I had no idea how amazing it would feel, and how sweet my
baby would seem to me etc....it's precious.

Jill, Rachel's proud, proud, mama! 5/9/04


  #27  
Old May 18th 04, 01:05 AM
Jill
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Midwives and my birth/story


"Elfanie" wrote
There are nice and respectful and competent
OB's...and there are doofus OB's who have no business practicing.
Same for midwives. (same for doulas!)

I understand your frustration at your postpartum treatment...and I'm
sorry that your care providers haven't been more supportive. As for
your labor and delivery - other than not being fast enough calling
anesthesiologist for you, I'm not sure what else you think they could
have done?



Oh, I do want to point out-- even after my experience, I don't think these
are horrendous midwives. They told me that I am one of few that have even
been turned over to an OB. I believe that. Since they accept only low risk
pregnancies. That is exactly the point, aside from the pain relief what do
I think they could have done for me. I honestly and truly believe that in
my case, that's ALL they could have done better for me, is to call the OB
sooner (4 hours was too long to push esp. w/o pain relief, since I had pain
relief as an important part of my birth plan), and to not let the epidural
wear off. I don't fault the midwives for anything else, except the
postpartum time when they kept bringing up "anxiety" "because you're on
Paxil" etc. That was pretty crude. But other than that, honestly, I thnk
these midwives are ok, just in hindsight, definitely not the best choice for
me-- but we can't know that ahead of time. They were SUPER for my prenatal
appointments.

So really I am upset the most that they emphasized at my appointments that
they fully support pain relief and emphasized they are willing to give each
individual woman as much pain relief as she chooses to make her labor
comfortable...then, they didn't! And actually, it blew me away when they
called the anesthesiologist in and THEN told her not give me as much as I
had last time . (The anesthesiologist wouldn't abide that though, because
she said she may as well give me nothing then as it wouldn't be effective. )
My mom ran in to the anesthesiologist in the hallway, and asked her how I
was and she said I was "not a happy camper", she could tell I was in pain.

I still do appreciate my prenatal appointments. And the time they spent with
me.

Jill


  #28  
Old May 18th 04, 01:14 AM
Ericka Kammerer
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Midwives and my birth/story

Jill wrote:

I am so glad others understand! It was truly completely mentally and
physically draining. I was in so much pain even through yesterday and today
that I got worked in with an OB just to make sure everything is healing ok
etc. We figured out what was causing the pain and I think I am on the way
back up now. But what an ordeal! The midwives weren't too happy I followed
up with an OB they partner with- but that's really not their choice, is it?


No, it's not. As much as it makes me cringe a little bit
when good midwifery practices are getting dumped for no good reason,
that can't stand in the way of there being repercussions for
midwives who are doing inappropriate things.

It helps to know others have BTDT. I still envy those with easy labors! I
know several who breezed through. I am terrified to think I want 2 more
kids!


Hang tough. Second labors tend to be much easier,
and even more so by comparison when the first was particularly
difficult. My first labor was 45 hours long. My second was
only 2 and a half hours long!

Best wishes,
Ericka

  #29  
Old May 18th 04, 01:29 AM
Jennifer and Robert Howe
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Midwives and my birth/story

Jill,
I ended up pushing for 6 or 7 hours I can't remember so I can understand.
that was too long to push I remember asking for a c-section like 2 hours
into pushing.

Jennifer
Ariana 8/17/03
home.earthlink.net/~soalus

"Jill" wrote in message
om...

"Elfanie" wrote
There are nice and respectful and competent
OB's...and there are doofus OB's who have no business practicing.
Same for midwives. (same for doulas!)

I understand your frustration at your postpartum treatment...and I'm
sorry that your care providers haven't been more supportive. As for
your labor and delivery - other than not being fast enough calling
anesthesiologist for you, I'm not sure what else you think they could
have done?



Oh, I do want to point out-- even after my experience, I don't think these
are horrendous midwives. They told me that I am one of few that have even
been turned over to an OB. I believe that. Since they accept only low risk
pregnancies. That is exactly the point, aside from the pain relief what

do
I think they could have done for me. I honestly and truly believe that in
my case, that's ALL they could have done better for me, is to call the OB
sooner (4 hours was too long to push esp. w/o pain relief, since I had

pain
relief as an important part of my birth plan), and to not let the epidural
wear off. I don't fault the midwives for anything else, except the
postpartum time when they kept bringing up "anxiety" "because you're on
Paxil" etc. That was pretty crude. But other than that, honestly, I thnk
these midwives are ok, just in hindsight, definitely not the best choice

for
me-- but we can't know that ahead of time. They were SUPER for my prenatal
appointments.

So really I am upset the most that they emphasized at my appointments that
they fully support pain relief and emphasized they are willing to give

each
individual woman as much pain relief as she chooses to make her labor
comfortable...then, they didn't! And actually, it blew me away when they
called the anesthesiologist in and THEN told her not give me as much as I
had last time . (The anesthesiologist wouldn't abide that though, because
she said she may as well give me nothing then as it wouldn't be

effective. )
My mom ran in to the anesthesiologist in the hallway, and asked her how I
was and she said I was "not a happy camper", she could tell I was in pain.

I still do appreciate my prenatal appointments. And the time they spent

with
me.

Jill




  #30  
Old May 18th 04, 01:39 AM
Jamie Clark
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Midwives and my birth/story

You said exactly what I was thinking as I read Jill's birth story. Well
said.
--

Jamie & Taylor
Earth Angel, 1/3/03

Check out Taylor Marlys -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest, Password:
Guest
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

Handmade Baby Blankets -- www.geocities.com/digit_the_cat/Blankets.html


"Karen" wrote in message
...
My comments:
- not such a good idea to head straight to the hospital after your water
breaks if there are no contractions. Chances are awfully good that for a
first baby, it isn't going to just appear from nowhere if there are no
contractions! I'd wait many, many hours to see if labor starts on its own
before heading to the hospital.
- 18 hours from beginning to end for a first baby is average, maybe a

little
less, for a first baby. For my first, it was around 25 hours. I felt that
was pretty good!
- not sure where you got the idea that birth would be pain free, even with
an epidural. I've never had one, but I believe at the hospital I use,

it's
standard to wait until the mother is 5 cm. I've always had a lot of pain

to
deal with getting from 0-5 myself (drug free births). It's not like
transition, but it hurts.
- I totally sympathize with you regarding Pitocin. Some people think it's
no big deal. My water broke with my first with no ensuing labor. I went

to
the hospital after 12 hours and got Pitocin. I handle pain quite well,

but
Pitocin put me on a roller coaster of contractions that gave me no rest.

It
was wild! I think I may have been insane to do it without an epidural, in
hindsight. However, I now have the confidence to know I can handle
anything!
- The worst thing about epidurals, IMO, is that unless they are walking,
they do often impede the progress of the baby. I had to have a brief

vacuum
with my first, as his head was stuck - once he got moved down via vacuum,

I
was able to push him out on my own. I think it's just a bad, bad idea to
lie down during labor at all.
- the good news is that a first birth that does not meet your expectations
usually results in a mother who knows what she wants for her second! Now
you can talk from experience. My second birth was idyllic and a romp in

the
park. I got every single thing I wanted...no...insisted upon. Written

birth
plans help a lot. When you are experienced, you will be taken more
seriously. However, I think it's contradictory to lay yourself at their
feet and say you'll do anything but then get very worked up about having

any
pain. It's better IMO to learn ways of dealing with pain, of reaching
inside yourself to cope, and if an epidural is your thing, then relishing
the pain free periods. While being fully aware that epidurals slow down
labor, make pushing less effective, and often don't completely work. You
gotta take the bad with the good and take responsibility for your choices.
This is childbirth, after all! Every labor is different, even if you have
the same plan. But unless they fully knock you out at the first

contraction,
you are going to feel pain. And since the health of the baby was

paramount,
they probably did put the baby ahead of you.
Congrats. Enjoy that baby!
Karen




 




Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
'Midwives...encourage...semisitting' (Yale CNMwifery Prof. Helen Varney) Todd Gastaldo Pregnancy 0 April 29th 04 04:33 PM
Georgetown U. Hospital firing their midwives Alpha Pregnancy 2 April 8th 04 03:20 PM
Odent on forceps (also: midwives 'prisoners of protocol') Todd Gastaldo Pregnancy 0 March 1st 04 06:59 AM
Midwives, Doulas, and Wal-mart zeldabee Pregnancy 5 August 2nd 03 10:47 PM
Midwives getting practical experience andrea Pregnancy 3 July 28th 03 06:15 PM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:02 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004-2024 ParentingBanter.com.
The comments are property of their posters.