If the teacher is Miss Herfirstname . . .

dragonlady wrote:
In article .com,
"Melania" wrote:

I'm a first name person, generally, but if someone insists on being
called by an honorific, I expect the same in return.

I, on the other hand, am a first name person (partly because people
tend
to not pronounce my last name correctly, but mostly it's just my
nature)
and will call people what they wish to be called and still invite
them
to call me by my first name.

Mmm. People often feel uncomfortable with my first name, and can't
pronounce it correctly, so they stumble over it. My last name is very
easy, though.

Somehow, it never makes me feel that I am in a "lesser" position,
though
I understand that for many people, it does.

I wouldn't say that it makes me feel lesser, but I personally feel that
in a professional setting, the names we use for each other help to set
the framework for the whole working relationship. Although, to be fair,
that's mostly with men, and in a work environment . . . my brother, on
the other hand, gets bent out of shape if a bank teller uses his first
name . . .

Melania
Mom to Joffre (Jan 11, 2003)
and #2 (edd May 21, 2005)

"Melania" wrote in message
ups.com...

dragonlady wrote:
In article .com,
"Melania" wrote:

I'm a first name person, generally, but if someone insists on being
called by an honorific, I expect the same in return.

I, on the other hand, am a first name person (partly because people
tend
to not pronounce my last name correctly, but mostly it's just my
nature)
and will call people what they wish to be called and still invite
them
to call me by my first name.

Mmm. People often feel uncomfortable with my first name, and can't
pronounce it correctly, so they stumble over it. My last name is very
easy, though.
I figured it was Mel Ahn E Ah like Donald Trumps new wife

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/02
Xavier 10/04

I call the teachers by however they introduce themselves unless I am in
private with them. They call me Mrs. mylastname in front of the children and
by my first name when we are in private. It may be confusing, but as it ends
up I am pretty close with some of the girl's teachers and I know the
distinction of when to use proper names and when not to.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

"toypup" wrote in message
m...
Am I Mrs. Mylastname? I'd feel funny being Miss Myfirstname. I even feel
funny being Mrs. Mylastname. It's so formal. I like being Myfirstname,
but
that's too informal, if I have to call the teacher Miss Herfirstname,
which
I figure I have to, since she introduced herself that way. What is the
best
way to introduce myself to a teacher who introduces herself as Miss
Herfirstname? This happens so much, I never know what to do. I just say
my
whole name, but I'd rather figure out what I'm most comfy with, so I'd
like
to know what other people are most comfy with first.

toypup wrote:
Am I Mrs. Mylastname? I'd feel funny being Miss Myfirstname. I even feel
funny being Mrs. Mylastname. It's so formal. I like being Myfirstname, but
that's too informal, if I have to call the teacher Miss Herfirstname, which
I figure I have to, since she introduced herself that way. What is the best
way to introduce myself to a teacher who introduces herself as Miss
Herfirstname? This happens so much, I never know what to do. I just say my
whole name, but I'd rather figure out what I'm most comfy with, so I'd like
to know what other people are most comfy with first.



My kids have had preschool teachers who were called "Miss Firstname" by
the children, but it would have seemed very strange to me if I were
expected to call her "Miss Firstname". (Unless I was talking to a
child, saying something like, "Oh, here's Miss Firstname.")

I always introduce myself as Firstname Lastname. The teacher can either
call me Firstname or Ms. Lastname - I don't really care. If the
teacher didn't tell me her last name, I'd call her Firstname.

This probably varies a lot regionally. I grew up in the South, where
calling someone "Miss Firstname" generally means you're speaking to an
elder. Since I'm 51, somebody would have to be doddering for me to
actually call her "Miss Firstname."

Clisby


Clisby

In article ,
"Ruth Baltopoulos" wrote:

I mean, I understand that is their
wishes, but it is *my* name and I cannot stand Mrs.
Baltopoulos (not to mention most kids can't come close to
saying it).

If a parent insists on titles, I insist on "Ms.". (Except for those who
choose "Miss Firstname". It used to feel weird, but I've decided it's
kind of charming.)

Could you get away with asking the kids to call you "Mrs. B"? At least
then they won't have to struggle with pronouncing your last name!
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

toypup wrote:

Am I Mrs. Mylastname? I'd feel funny being Miss Myfirstname. I even feel
funny being Mrs. Mylastname. It's so formal. I like being Myfirstname,
but that's too informal, if I have to call the teacher Miss Herfirstname,
which
I figure I have to, since she introduced herself that way. What is the
best way to introduce myself to a teacher who introduces herself as Miss
Herfirstname? This happens so much, I never know what to do. I just say
my whole name, but I'd rather figure out what I'm most comfy with, so I'd
like to know what other people are most comfy with first.

The preschool teachers of the first preschool were all Mrs Herlastname
(and I was Mrs Mylastname): it was actually a very informal preschool.

The second preschool teachers were all Herfirstname, but the preschool
was not nearly as welcoming to parents.

At school, the teachers are all Miss/Mrs/Mr HerLastname and I am Mrs
Mylastname. The teacher who also teaches at Sunday Club at the church
becomes Herfirstname to the kids on Sundays, but they seem to cope.

I usually introduce myself as MyFirstname MyLastname, Kidsname's Mum.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

toypup wrote:

Am I Mrs. Mylastname? I'd feel funny being Miss Myfirstname. I even feel
funny being Mrs. Mylastname. It's so formal. I like being Myfirstname, but
that's too informal, if I have to call the teacher Miss Herfirstname, which
I figure I have to, since she introduced herself that way. What is the best
way to introduce myself to a teacher who introduces herself as Miss
Herfirstname? This happens so much, I never know what to do. I just say my
whole name, but I'd rather figure out what I'm most comfy with, so I'd like
to know what other people are most comfy with first.

In my experience with teachers, one of two things happens:

1) We're really on a first name basis, but with the kids around I call
the teacher Miss FirstName in order not to confuse the children.
Similarly, the teacher tends to refer to me as "your mom" because
the child is around. With no kids around, we'd just call each other
by first names. This gets really confusing to me in situations
where I know the teacher in another context and have to keep
reminding myself to use "Miss FirstName" or whatever the convention
is ;-)

2) We're really on a last name basis. In this case, the teacher is
whatever the kids call him/her and I am Title LastName (usually with
a certain amount of back and forth to establish the appropriate
title and last name ;-)

I usually introduce myself with first and last names, because the
way the teacher refers to me generally clues me in whether the
teacher is a first-namer or a last-namer. If the teacher calls
me "Ericka," then I'd call the teacher by her first name if we
talked outside the kids' earshot. If the teacher used title and
last name, that's what I'd use for her outside the kids' earshot.

Best wishes,
Ericka

Melania wrote:

Wow. I'm not at all accustomed to people being Miss Herfirstname . . .
it's always been the last name around here.

It's a very Southern custom (not universal, obviously,
but much more common in the South than elsewhere).

I'm a first name person, generally, but if someone insists on being
called by an honorific, I expect the same in return.

But I think it's fair for teachers to want to be called
whatever they're called in the classroom as long as you're in
front of the kids (which is most of the time you're intereacting
with a teacher). Especially with little kids, it's a bit confusing
to remember that they have to say "Miss Ann" while mom just calls
her "Ann." They figure it out after a while, but it seems to work
more smoothly to be consistent. Even now, if I am speaking to
my children about another adult, I will use the name the children
use rather than the name I would use. Of course, any name beats
what DS1 called his teachers when he first went to preschool.
They didn't think "honey" was appropriate, for some reason ;-)

Best wishes,
Ericka

"Stephanie Stowe" wrote in message
...
IMO, she introduced herself as Miss Herfirstname, so that is what you call
her. You introduce yourself as YourFirstName, and that is what she calls
you. I would think it a little dopey for me to call someone Miss or Mrs
while they call me Stephanie. But I don't know who Mrs. Stowe is, but it
sure is not me....

Why isn't it you? If Stowe is your last name, then you are either Miss
Stowe, Ms. Stowe, or Mrs. Stowe. I think people that are so resistant to
the title "Mrs. Whatever" are under the impression that it makes them seem
old. I can relate a bit, since I was well past college before I felt
comfortable calling myself a "woman" instead of a "girl." But now at 40, I
can't deny anymore that I've grown up. By the same token, you're an adult
for goodness sake! A wife and mother! Get over it!

So either the teacher just introduced herself so you know
which of your childn's teachers she is, and will say Oh call me Kate (or
whatever) or you are stuck calling her Miss Whatever.

I think I would call her Miss Kate to my kids, and Kate to her face unless
she corrected me. She is the one who chose to use her first name after all,
and it's generally understood that the "Miss" is added for the children.
And yes, if she did correct me and tell me to use the "Miss" I would
definitely have her call me "Mrs. Lastname."

One caviat. If calling her Miss Whatever while you go with your first name
is going to cause you to feel you are speaking with an Authority Figure
rather than a professional peer, then you might want to adopt Mrs
Lastname. You do not want to set a tone of poor beggar at the doorstep of
the Authority.

toypup wrote:
Am I Mrs. Mylastname? I'd feel funny being Miss Myfirstname. I even
feel funny being Mrs. Mylastname. It's so formal. I like being
Myfirstname, but that's too informal, if I have to call the teacher
Miss Herfirstname, which I figure I have to, since she introduced
herself that way. What is the best way to introduce myself to a
teacher who introduces herself as Miss Herfirstname? This happens so
much, I never know what to do. I just say my whole name, but I'd
rather figure out what I'm most comfy with, so I'd like to know what
other people are most comfy with first.

This varies a lot by region I think. I had a neighbor from the south and she
taught her kids to call me Miss Nikki. She herself called me Nikki. That
is not common around my area. I've heard her and one other person do that.
The other woman was new to town and I have no idea where she was from. She
didn't have an accent but she was in a much higher economic bracket them me
so perhaps the wealthy do it around here and I don't know it ;-)

In the daycares I've used the kids call the staff either Miss Firstname or
'Teacher'. The staff and I referred to each other by our first names only.

In kindergarten this year I refer to the teachers as Mrs. Lastname in the
classroom. The teacher and aid address each other as Mrs. Lastname as well.
I'm referred to as Hunter's mom by them and Nikki by the other kids. This
is fine with me. When I introduced myself I said I'm Nikki Lastname,
Hunter's mom. I don't ever recall the teacher addressing me by name so I
don't know what she'd call me. I'd be fine with Nikki. I was at a meeting
to discuss evaluation results and was referred to as Ms. Lastname by the
principle.

--
Nikki