If the teacher is Miss Herfirstname . . .

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...
Melania wrote:

Wow. I'm not at all accustomed to people being Miss Herfirstname . . .
it's always been the last name around here.

It's a very Southern custom (not universal, obviously,
but much more common in the South than elsewhere).

I'm a first name person, generally, but if someone insists on being
called by an honorific, I expect the same in return.

But I think it's fair for teachers to want to be called
whatever they're called in the classroom as long as you're in
front of the kids (which is most of the time you're intereacting
with a teacher). Especially with little kids, it's a bit confusing
to remember that they have to say "Miss Ann" while mom just calls
her "Ann." They figure it out after a while, but it seems to work
more smoothly to be consistent. Even now, if I am speaking to
my children about another adult, I will use the name the children
use rather than the name I would use.

I use the name my children would use when speaking directly to them, but if
I'm only speaking near them, I use whatever name I would normally use. They
understand that I call their dad Todd, but they call him Daddy. That I call
my friend "Jane," but they call her "Mrs. Doe." We are consistant in that
we always expect them to use Mr. or Mrs. for a non-related adult, and there
has never been any confusion.

I also correct children who call me by my first name. I generally correct
them directly, instead of saying anything to their parents. And they
generally only have to be told once to "get it." The one exception was a
little boy of 3 or 4 who had never called anyone by their last name in his
life. He'd been taught to call other parents by "Daddy Joe" and "Mommy
Ann." He called me "mister Lastname" for the longest time, and my husband
"Todd."

Bizby

Of course, any name beats
what DS1 called his teachers when he first went to preschool.
They didn't think "honey" was appropriate, for some reason ;-)

Best wishes,
Ericka

"toypup" wrote in message
m...
Am I Mrs. Mylastname? I'd feel funny being Miss Myfirstname. I even feel
funny being Mrs. Mylastname. It's so formal. I like being Myfirstname,
but that's too informal, if I have to call the teacher Miss Herfirstname,
which I figure I have to, since she introduced herself that way. What is
the best way to introduce myself to a teacher who introduces herself as
Miss Herfirstname? This happens so much, I never know what to do. I just
say my whole name, but I'd rather figure out what I'm most comfy with, so
I'd like to know what other people are most comfy with first.

I would introduce myself as Jeff. Remember, teachers are used to being
called as Miss, Ms or Mrs.

Of course, you probably would want to use your own first name.

Jeff

"dragonlady" wrote:

: "Ruth Baltopoulos" wrote:

: I mean, I understand that is their
: wishes, but it is *my* name and I cannot stand Mrs.
: Baltopoulos (not to mention most kids can't come close
to
: saying it).

: If a parent insists on titles, I insist on "Ms.". (Except
for those who
: choose "Miss Firstname". It used to feel weird, but I've
decided it's
: kind of charming.)

Yes, I would opt for Ms. as well. I have had parents tell
their children to call me 'Mrs. Baltopoulos or Miss Ruth and
would not correct them; it doesn't bother me that much. I
might (and possibly not), as an aside later and not in front
of children, let them know that I prefer to be called Ruth,
but understand if they insist on titles, in which case I
would rather 'Ms.' than 'Mrs.'.
:
: Could you get away with asking the kids to call you "Mrs.
B"? At least
: then they won't have to struggle with pronouncing your
last name!

Well, in my business (child care/preschool) I have the
children call me Ruth. I figure that, while others insist
on their titles, it is my right to forgo mine I make
that clear from the onset, and have never really had a
problem with it. With other children, such as my daughters'
peers or the children of friends, I tend to let it roll
while I cringe inside (for some reason, I hate Mrs. B as
much as Miss Ruth grin).
--
Ruth

"bizby40" wrote:

: "Stephanie Stowe" wrote:

snips
: IMO, she introduced herself as Miss Herfirstname, so
that is what you call
: her. You introduce yourself as YourFirstName, and that
is what she calls
: you. I would think it a little dopey for me to call
someone Miss or Mrs
: while they call me Stephanie. But I don't know who Mrs.
Stowe is, but it
: sure is not me....

: Why isn't it you? If Stowe is your last name, then you
are either Miss
: Stowe, Ms. Stowe, or Mrs. Stowe. I think people that are
so resistant to
: the title "Mrs. Whatever" are under the impression that it
makes them seem
: old. I can relate a bit, since I was well past college
before I felt
: comfortable calling myself a "woman" instead of a "girl."
But now at 40, I
: can't deny anymore that I've grown up. By the same token,
you're an adult
: for goodness sake! A wife and mother! Get over it!

Sadly, I have no burning desire to get over it. I abhor
Mrs. Baltopoulos and, while hopefully not for the reasons
above, have no intense compulsion to examine the origins of
my distaste. Being older, a wife and a mother, does not
negate my feelings, which vary from 'blech!' to 'who's
that?' when I hear myself referred to as Mrs. Baltopoulos.

Another one of them pesky choices
--
Ruth

"Ruth Baltopoulos" wrote in message
...
"bizby40" wrote:

: "Stephanie Stowe" wrote:

snips
: IMO, she introduced herself as Miss Herfirstname, so
that is what you call
: her. You introduce yourself as YourFirstName, and that
is what she calls
: you. I would think it a little dopey for me to call
someone Miss or Mrs
: while they call me Stephanie. But I don't know who Mrs.
Stowe is, but it
: sure is not me....

: Why isn't it you? If Stowe is your last name, then you
are either Miss
: Stowe, Ms. Stowe, or Mrs. Stowe. I think people that are
so resistant to
: the title "Mrs. Whatever" are under the impression that it
makes them seem
: old. I can relate a bit, since I was well past college
before I felt
: comfortable calling myself a "woman" instead of a "girl."
But now at 40, I
: can't deny anymore that I've grown up. By the same token,
you're an adult
: for goodness sake! A wife and mother! Get over it!

Sadly, I have no burning desire to get over it. I abhor
Mrs. Baltopoulos and, while hopefully not for the reasons
above, have no intense compulsion to examine the origins of
my distaste. Being older, a wife and a mother, does not
negate my feelings, which vary from 'blech!' to 'who's
that?' when I hear myself referred to as Mrs. Baltopoulos.

Another one of them pesky choices
--
Ruth

Oh, you can be called whatever you want. I just think its rather silly to
be distressed by your own name.

Bizby

"bizby40" wrote

Why isn't it you? If Stowe is your last name, then you are either Miss
Stowe, Ms. Stowe, or Mrs. Stowe.

Speaking purely for myself. I'm not Mrs L**** because although L**** is my
husband's surname, it's not mine. Similarly, I dislike being called Miss
P***** because I am married and Miss denotes that I'm not. I prefer to be
called Ms P***** and that is the name I use professionally (I'm actually a
teacher myself).

Likewise, I would always address a parent as Mr/Ms Lastname unless told to
do otherwise. It's a mark of respect to the parents.

Jean

Ruth Baltopoulos wrote:


Also, for whatever reason, I have always had a knee-jerk
aversion to calling or being called Miss Myfirstname. Not
sure why, but it makes me grimace...
--
Ruth


Me, too. I don't like being called "ma'am", either (and my husband
didn't want to be called "sir", so we skipped that part of etiquette
training for our children.

Clisby

"Iuil" wrote in message
...

"bizby40" wrote

Why isn't it you? If Stowe is your last name, then you are either Miss
Stowe, Ms. Stowe, or Mrs. Stowe.

Speaking purely for myself. I'm not Mrs L**** because although L**** is
my
husband's surname, it's not mine. Similarly, I dislike being called Miss
P***** because I am married and Miss denotes that I'm not. I prefer to be
called Ms P***** and that is the name I use professionally (I'm actually a
teacher myself).

Different situation. Of *course* you don't want to be called by someone
else's name.

Likewise, I would always address a parent as Mr/Ms Lastname unless told to
do otherwise. It's a mark of respect to the parents.

Yes. People here have shown an aversion to showing respect because it sets
up an inequality. In some situations there *is* an inequality. For
example, it makes perfect sense for a teacher to call a student by his or
her first name while still expecting to be called by their title. Though I
would call my child's teacher by his or her first name if they seemed
ammenable to it, I would likely always call my own teacher by their title
and last name. I also call my doctor by her title and last name. I don't
think it says anything about them being better than me in any way. Only
that in this particular situation, I have come to them for their expertise
and so I want to show them that they have my respect.

I also *always* have my children call adults by their last names, even if
other kids call that adult by their first name. I can't justify doing that,
but I do it anyway. Only once did it bother someone enough that I really
*tried* to make an exception for them. But after a year or so of me saying
things to my daughter like, "Tell Mrs. uh, er, ... Jane thank you for
having you over," she finally relented.

This particular woman is funny about her name anyway. She *did* take her
husband's name when she married, but then regretted it. She wouldn't change
it back though because it was too inconvenient. So she hated being called
by the name she herself chose. In fact, I have to address her Christmas
cards like:

Mr. John Doe
Mrs. Jane Smith Doe

Because if it's just addressed to Mr. and Mrs. John Doe, she doesn't
consider it to have been sent to her.

Bizby

Jean

"Ruth Baltopoulos" wrote in message
news:MridnSZK5OLqUrnfRVn-

Well, in my business (child care/preschool) I have the
children call me Ruth. I figure that, while others insist
on their titles, it is my right to forgo mine I make
that clear from the onset, and have never really had a
problem with it. With other children, such as my daughters'
peers or the children of friends, I tend to let it roll
while I cringe inside (for some reason, I hate Mrs. B as
much as Miss Ruth grin).
--


My kids call everyone Mr. or Miss Firstname. It would drive me crazy if
someone insisted they be called only their first name. I mean, I'd respect
it, because it's your right, but man, it would drive me crazy.

Denise

"bizby40" wrote:
:
: "Ruth Baltopoulos" wrote:

: Sadly, I have no burning desire to get over it. I abhor
: Mrs. Baltopoulos and, while hopefully not for the
reasons
: above, have no intense compulsion to examine the origins
of
: my distaste. Being older, a wife and a mother, does not
: negate my feelings, which vary from 'blech!' to 'who's
: that?' when I hear myself referred to as Mrs.
Baltopoulos.

: Another one of them pesky choices

: Oh, you can be called whatever you want. I just think its
rather silly to
: be distressed by your own name.

Well, Baltopoulos isn't my name; it's my ex-husbands name
which I kept out of respect for my children's wishes.

What one man thinks is silly is another man's.........Oh,
we've done this before, haven't we

I find an open mind and good humor to be the least silly of
all things....
--
Ruth