If the teacher is Miss Herfirstname . . .

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
news
bizby40 wrote:


So, IMHO, if someone sends you a card or invitation or whatever
and doesn't get it just right, you should really just let it go.

Or better yet, you establish some sort of communication
where you make it clear what your preferred terminology is.

Sure. Still, over the years you will likely get things from people
who aren't "in the know." I don't think it's worthwhile to get
upset about it. In most cases, I wouldn't even bother correcting
them.

I'm that way with my first name too. It's a very simple name
really, and pronounced in the usual way, but for some reason
many (most?) people get it wrong at first. If it's someone with
whom I expect to be in close contact in the future (like a co-
worker), I'll correct them right away so they get it right.
Otherwise, I usually just get it go. In a few cases where it has
turned out that I *have* ended up having more contact with
them than I thought I would, I've corrected them after several
years of having them get it wrong.

Being called by the wrong name *really* used to grate on my
nerves. But I've gotten over it.

Bizby

For
instance, ditch those response cards and send a proper response
on your own stationery saying, "Ms. Your Name and Mr. His Name/
accept with pleasure/the kind invitation of hosts/for Saturday,
the sixth of June" (using, of course, whatever your preferred
form is), if it's a formal invitation. In other situations,
you can use your return address to put in your names and titles
(not strictly proper, but hey, it works for the observant).
Or, get things off to a good start by using "at home" cards
with your wedding invitations/announcements (they give you
a good opportunity to share your "new" names and titles
and address). Use your preferred form when issuing formal
invitations of your own. Ask the other person what they
prefer (many will return the favor once you've taking the
stop of broaching the subject).
None of those things are foolproof ways to make sure
everyone gets the word, but you do leave a trail for those
who are interested in knowing what you prefer, which beats
expecting them to guess correctly ;-)

Best wishes,
Ericka

"bizby40" wrote in message
...
I remember when I was a kid, my mom told me that I should address
Grandma's envelopes to Mrs. Jane Doe though, because she was a widow.

As someone else mentioned, I'm quite sure that, according to these rules of
etiquette, widows were always properly addressed as Mrs. HisName LastName.
Only divorcees got the Mrs. HerName LastName treatment.

So, IMHO, if someone sends you a card or invitation or whatever
and doesn't get it just right, you should really just let it go.

Oh, goodness, yes. I wouldn't get my panties in a twist over an envelope
addressed to us as Mr. and Mrs. MyHusbandsFirstName OurLastName, though I'd
probably prefer to see just Mr. and Mrs. OurLastName. What I wouldn't like
(and would correct) is to be *introduced* as Mrs. MyHusbandsFirstName
OurLastName. Sorry, but ick!
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Mr. Congeniality (7), the Diva (5) and the Race Car Fanatic (3 today)

I have PMS and ESP...I'm the bitch who knows everything! (T-shirt slogan)

toypup wrote:
Am I Mrs. Mylastname? I'd feel funny being Miss Myfirstname. I even feel
funny being Mrs. Mylastname. It's so formal. I like being Myfirstname, but
that's too informal, if I have to call the teacher Miss Herfirstname, which
I figure I have to, since she introduced herself that way. What is the best
way to introduce myself to a teacher who introduces herself as Miss
Herfirstname? This happens so much, I never know what to do. I just say my
whole name, but I'd rather figure out what I'm most comfy with, so I'd like
to know what other people are most comfy with first.

Going from California where it's hip to be first name buddies with kids
back to Georgia, where the line between children and adults is clearly
drawn in the sand, all I can say is go with the vernacular.

She most likely introduced herself in a manner that would teach the
kids by example. So matching her lead would help her out.

I'd expect a much different introduction in a PTA meeting and an even
more different intro in a bar.

In the classroom, she's doing the cheerful happy dance for the children.
No need to feel funny about it ... besides the sometimes oversaturated
cheerfulness of it all.

"Circe" wrote in message
news:IAlVd.86322$Yu.85761@fed1read01...
"bizby40" wrote in message
...
I remember when I was a kid, my mom told me that I should address
Grandma's envelopes to Mrs. Jane Doe though, because she was a widow.

As someone else mentioned, I'm quite sure that, according to these rules
of
etiquette, widows were always properly addressed as Mrs. HisName LastName.
Only divorcees got the Mrs. HerName LastName treatment.

Ah, well, so mom wasn't perfect. One can only hope that she knew what her
mom preferred.

Bizby

Circe wrote:
"bizby40" wrote in message
...
I remember when I was a kid, my mom told me that I should address
Grandma's envelopes to Mrs. Jane Doe though, because she was a
widow.

As someone else mentioned, I'm quite sure that, according to these
rules of
etiquette, widows were always properly addressed as Mrs. HisName
LastName.
Only divorcees got the Mrs. HerName LastName treatment.

Yup - that's the way my mom taught me, at least. Alas, hardly anyone
ever seems to learn that nowadays. I recently received a baby shower
invitation to Mrs. HisName Lastname, and I did cringe! Personally, I
prefer (in writing) either no title, or Ms. Myname Lastname, but that's
me. Speaking, I prefer no title or Mrs. LastName (from a grownup). I
haven't decided for sure what I prefer from kids, actually.

So, IMHO, if someone sends you a card or invitation or whatever
and doesn't get it just right, you should really just let it go.

Oh, goodness, yes. I wouldn't get my panties in a twist over an
envelope
addressed to us as Mr. and Mrs. MyHusbandsFirstName OurLastName,
though I'd
probably prefer to see just Mr. and Mrs. OurLastName. What I wouldn't
like
(and would correct) is to be *introduced* as Mrs. MyHusbandsFirstName
OurLastName. Sorry, but ick!
--
Ick, ick, ick!

Irene

In ,
bizby40 wrote:

*I remember when I was a kid, my mom told me that I should address
*Grandma's envelopes to Mrs. Jane Doe though, because she was a widow.

Whereas my grandma got very upset when she got a sympathy card addressed
to Mrs. Herfirstname Marriedlastname after my grandfather died - she
insisted that that construction suggested she'd been divorced, and that
since she was in fact not divorced, she should remain Mrs. Hisfirstname
Marriedlastname upon being widowed. Go figure.

I address all her envelopes to World's Best Great-Grandma Lastname to
avoid the issue at this point

--
Hillary Israeli, VMD
Lafayette Hill/PA/USA/Earth
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is
too dark to read." --Groucho Marx

In article ,
"toypup" wrote:

Am I Mrs. Mylastname? I'd feel funny being Miss Myfirstname. I even feel
funny being Mrs. Mylastname. It's so formal. I like being Myfirstname, but
that's too informal, if I have to call the teacher Miss Herfirstname, which
I figure I have to, since she introduced herself that way. What is the best
way to introduce myself to a teacher who introduces herself as Miss
Herfirstname? This happens so much, I never know what to do.

Er, what do *you* like being called?

"I'm Firstname Lastname; please call me Firstname," is what I'd say (I'm
married, but didn't take DH's surname, so I'm a Ms). And in adult company,
the teacher would be Firstname to me. I would only call her Miss Firstname in
front of the children.

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"In Melbourne there is plenty of vigour and eagerness, but there is
nothing worth being eager or vigorous about."
Francis Adams, The Australians, 1893.

"Chookie" wrote in message
...
In article ,
"toypup" wrote:

Am I Mrs. Mylastname? I'd feel funny being Miss Myfirstname. I even
feel
funny being Mrs. Mylastname. It's so formal. I like being Myfirstname,
but
that's too informal, if I have to call the teacher Miss Herfirstname,
which
I figure I have to, since she introduced herself that way. What is the
best
way to introduce myself to a teacher who introduces herself as Miss
Herfirstname? This happens so much, I never know what to do.

Er, what do *you* like being called?

I like being Firstname, but I don't like being Firstname and calling her
Miss Firstname. So, I'm trying to figure out what is the norm and just go
with that, since I'm not comfortable going by what I normally go by.

"I'm Firstname Lastname; please call me Firstname," is what I'd say (I'm
married, but didn't take DH's surname, so I'm a Ms). And in adult
company,
the teacher would be Firstname to me. I would only call her Miss
Firstname in
front of the children.

I figure I need to call her Miss Firstname, since she introduced herself as
Miss Firstname when I met her without without DS.

"toypup" wrote in message
m...
I figure I need to call her Miss Firstname, since she introduced herself
as Miss Firstname when I met her without without DS.



That may just have been an automatic introduction. What I mean is she is
"Miss Firstname" for at least 8 hours a day and she tells the kids she's
"Miss Firstname" but I'm not sure when she introduces herself as such she's
requesting you (the parent) to address her that way. I know that's not the
Miss Manners' Etiquette definition of how one introduces oneself (or
interpreting an introducation).

I would ask how she wants you to address her out of DS' earshot.

Jeanne