urgent advice please: babysitter stealing?

I would value your collective wisdom please. Posting
semi-anonymously, sorry, but I'm concerned that in a few years, idly
googling my name by the person I am referring to could lead to
embarrasment...anyway the email address I'm posting from works,
(unmunged) so please feel free to cc your reply to me, I don't see all
or even most posts.

OK, here's the thing. I have a young teenaged friend who "babysits"
my 2 yo for me, usually while I am somewhere in the house, once a
week. She is a nice kid, a good kid- but at 13 we all probably did
things that we would cringe over later, and I fear that she is doing
so!

Her mum is my friend (more than an acquaintance, less than a soulmate,
IYKWIM). Her brother is my older son's best mate, and again, a really
nice kid. They are a nice family which makes this even harder :-(.

Several trimes over the last year, I have been able to tell by the
smell that she has tried my perfumes (which means she's been in my
room). Last week, I noticed a streak of blue hair dye in her hair
that wasn't there when she arrived.

daggy mum wrote:

I would value your collective wisdom please. Posting
semi-anonymously, sorry, but I'm concerned that in a few years, idly
googling my name by the person I am referring to could lead to
embarrasment...anyway the email address I'm posting from works,
(unmunged) so please feel free to cc your reply to me, I don't see all
or even most posts.

OK, here's the thing. I have a young teenaged friend who "babysits"
my 2 yo for me, usually while I am somewhere in the house, once a
week. She is a nice kid, a good kid- but at 13 we all probably did
things that we would cringe over later, and I fear that she is doing
so!

Her mum is my friend (more than an acquaintance, less than a soulmate,
IYKWIM). Her brother is my older son's best mate, and again, a really
nice kid. They are a nice family which makes this even harder :-(.

Several trimes over the last year, I have been able to tell by the
smell that she has tried my perfumes (which means she's been in my
room). Last week, I noticed a streak of blue hair dye in her hair
that wasn't there when she arrived.


Since you know the parents, I would approach mom, play
it down (since Mom will probably be horrified), and ask her
how she'd like you to approach the situation together to teach
the lesson she wants to teach.

Best wishes,
Ericka

On Sun, 12 Dec 2004 10:20:40 -0500, Ericka Kammerer
wrote:

Since you know the parents, I would approach mom, play
it down (since Mom will probably be horrified), and ask her
how she'd like you to approach the situation together to teach
the lesson she wants to teach.

Best wishes,
Ericka


Ericka, did you see the whole message, including the fact that it's a
biut nmore serious than spraying herself with gallons of Chanel 5? Do
you still think the mum would rather know... or um, what should I do?

dm

daggy mum wrote:

On Sun, 12 Dec 2004 10:20:40 -0500, Ericka Kammerer
wrote:

Since you know the parents, I would approach mom, play
it down (since Mom will probably be horrified), and ask her
how she'd like you to approach the situation together to teach
the lesson she wants to teach.

Ericka, did you see the whole message, including the fact that it's a
biut nmore serious than spraying herself with gallons of Chanel 5? Do
you still think the mum would rather know... or um, what should I do?

I did see the later bit, which does sound more serious,
but I would still talk to the mother since you're friends. I
know that if my child was doing that, I would very much want to
know. I would be very upset if a friend knew that about my
child and didn't tell me. I would also want to coordinate
dealing with the problem with the friend in a way that was
effective and constructive.
Now, that said, I'm sure there are some parents out
there who would completely wig out and accuse you of lying
and generally make things very ugly. I probably wouldn't
say anything if I really thought that was going to be the
case. But I think most responsible and reasonable parents
would want to know and would either deal with the issue or
work with you to deal with the issue.

Best wishes,
Ericka

On Sun, 12 Dec 2004 21:41:52 GMT, daggy mum
wrote:

On Sun, 12 Dec 2004 10:20:40 -0500, Ericka Kammerer
wrote:

Since you know the parents, I would approach mom, play
it down (since Mom will probably be horrified), and ask her
how she'd like you to approach the situation together to teach
the lesson she wants to teach.

Best wishes,
Ericka


Ericka, did you see the whole message, including the fact that it's a
biut nmore serious than spraying herself with gallons of Chanel 5? Do
you still think the mum would rather know... or um, what should I do?

Speaking as a mum of a teenager, of course she would rather know!
Ignorance is not bliss to parents of teens or preteens.

Barb

dm