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#191
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RSVP (and pinatas)
In article , Banty
wrote: It sounds to me like parents are offered the "choice" of having their personal details circulated to complete strangers OR of running whole-class-size parties -- and all at the say-so of the school. And people don't see this as interfering in their personal lives? Are you talking about our Montessori school, which had long elaborate costume-demanding International Day celebrations each October 31, in hopes that that would overwhelm the "evil, occult" Halloween? The one that banned my child from eating Fritos? Naw - they don't do this to interfere in our personal family life - what you kiddin'? Ha! But did they insist that you not eat Fritos or carve pumpkins at home? We don't generally celebrate Halloween in Australia -- the English traditions have been lost (eg try finding a fodder pumpkin, let alone a fodder turnip, in spring...). It's creeping in from people watching American TV shows, though. Catholics (particularly Italians) visit family graves on All Souls' Day, of course. MM was a devout Catholic IIRC. DS2's day care is owned by a Muslim woman. Last year the day care celebrated Chinese New Year, Easter, Christmas and Eid, mainly in craft activities. No doubt if a Hindu child comes in this year, they will add Diwali. googles Fritos Junk food was banned from the first day-care DS1 went to (parents had to provide their children's lunches). I must say that I'm not really thrilled about the junky morning teas provided at DS2's current day care -- fairy bread today. The lunches are fine, and they have fruit in the afternoon. (No pork products, usually! At the Christmas celebration, each family brings in a dish to share at the party, and as there are quite a few Chinese parents, that means pork products!) -- Chookie -- Sydney, Australia (Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply) http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/ |
#192
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RSVP (and pinatas)
"Chookie" wrote in message news:ehrebeniuk-D6724F.21530105062008@news... In article , toto wrote: On Sat, 31 May 2008 10:10:54 +1000, Chookie wrote: Um, do preschoolers and early graders usually do that sort of thing -- and with the connivance of their parents? Preschoolers and early graders *can* do this if it is allowed. With preschoolers, a big *thing* is often to say *I'm not your friend and you can't come to my birthday party,* though usually this doesn't last long enough to become an invitation problem. We went to very few, if any, pre-school parties. But I just can't picture it at all. Perhaps my DSs move in unusual circles, but that stuff certainly wasn't going on at pre-school age. Is this a girl thing? The first act of exclusion was by a jealous female friend of DS1's, in Kindy. I would not say it was a feature of DS1's friendships, as a rule, and he is 7 now. I should also point out that the school puts a lot of effort into encouraging positive relationships (not with tokenistic stuff like banning party invitations, either) so perhaps that has something to do with it. I think it's more a girl thing. Although I've seen it entirely the other way. "you're my friend and I'm going to invite you to my party". (even though the said party is 10 months away!) It's, for some girls, a way of saying "I want to be your friend." Debbie With K students, a student who happens to be different may be ostracized because his behavior is *weird.* DS1 did have a classmate who has since been moved to special ed for what is probably an ASD. The other children were intimidated by his unpredictable (and unmanaged -- his mother had been pretending to herself that he was normal) behaviour. I would guess that this little boy might well not have been invited to parties -- but then, DS1 only went to one party that year and we didn't hold one ourselves. -- Chookie -- Sydney, Australia (Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply) http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/ |
#193
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RSVP (and pinatas)
In article ehrebeniuk-339947.22531405062008@news, Chookie says...
In article , Banty wrote: It sounds to me like parents are offered the "choice" of having their personal details circulated to complete strangers OR of running whole-class-size parties -- and all at the say-so of the school. And people don't see this as interfering in their personal lives? Are you talking about our Montessori school, which had long elaborate costume-demanding International Day celebrations each October 31, in hopes that that would overwhelm the "evil, occult" Halloween? The one that banned my child from eating Fritos? Naw - they don't do this to interfere in our personal family life - what you kiddin'? Ha! But did they insist that you not eat Fritos or carve pumpkins at home? Almost!! I went to them and recommeneded that the International Day be moved away from Halloween as a date, so that there wouldnt be two costumes to be prepared for one day. (Silly me - thought that was reasonable feedback.) Their answer was, quote unquote! - "We hate Halloween". The timing was intentional. And indeed, that Halloween, my son was too tuckered out that evening to celebrate :-( If he had continued in the school the following year, I would have arranged a doctor's appointment or something to make him absent on Halloween, but we did not continue Montessori past that year, for unreleted reasons. But, yeah - their stated intent was to get some ghosty-gobliny "occult" stuff off the street and replace them with sari's and bolero vests if they could. We don't generally celebrate Halloween in Australia -- the English traditions have been lost (eg try finding a fodder pumpkin, let alone a fodder turnip, in spring...). It's creeping in from people watching American TV shows, though. Catholics (particularly Italians) visit family graves on All Souls' Day, of course. MM was a devout Catholic IIRC. DS2's day care is owned by a Muslim woman. Last year the day care celebrated Chinese New Year, Easter, Christmas and Eid, mainly in craft activities. No doubt if a Hindu child comes in this year, they will add Diwali. Cool. googles Fritos Much better than tim tams or vegemite!! gdr To us, my having grown up in Texas, Fritos are a staple - Frito Pie is a staple main dish. Junk food was banned from the first day-care DS1 went to (parents had to provide their children's lunches). I must say that I'm not really thrilled about the junky morning teas provided at DS2's current day care -- fairy bread today. The lunches are fine, and they have fruit in the afternoon. (No pork products, usually! At the Christmas celebration, each family brings in a dish to share at the party, and as there are quite a few Chinese parents, that means pork products!) Yeah. See, I'm willing to put up with *some* of that stuff, it's all about people trying to do the best by the kids, and responding to parent requests, after all. These are usually not Bad Things. Just sometimes not quite so golden and necessary as some think. So I'm willing to go along even where I think it silly or unsubstantiated. But that Montessori school was way over the line IMO. And inconsistent in my view. For example, they accepted bread-and-jelly sandwiches as OK for lunches. Which, to me, is, what - all simple sugars and starches and no protein but they can't have corn chips huh?? Banty (The Evul Halloween Lady) |
#194
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RSVP (and pinatas)
Chookie wrote:
In article , Ericka Kammerer wrote: Chookie wrote: It sounds to me like parents are offered the "choice" of having their personal details circulated to complete strangers OR of running whole-class-size parties -- and all at the say-so of the school. And people don't see this as interfering in their personal lives? While some might have it so, it really doesn't boil down that way in my experience. It's true that if one isn't going to invite the whole class, one should not use public means of distributing invitations (like handing them out in class or putting them in cubbies where it's obvious who gets one and who doesn't). That ought to be true regardless of school policy. It's simply not polite to make a show of who's invited and who's not. Well, I agree it's impolite to *make a show* -- hence DS1 quietly handed out invitations as his friends were leaving school. That's not *making a show*. There are plenty of kids and parents milling around, from all different classes, and it wouldn't be easy to see who was handing out invitations. I should mention that this is school, not preschool -- DS1 is 7yo. At DS2's day care there are cubby-holes for the children's bedding, spare clothes etc, but in the foyer there are pockets for parent communication. If I wished to send an invitation, I would use the pockets. Much of what constitutes "making a show" depends on the particulars of the situation. If there is a discreet way to communication, those schools are less likely to have policies about passing out invitations. But by and large, if children notice, then it's not discreet enough, and in many of the schools mine have been in, there isn't any easy, discreet way to hand out invitations at school. Therefore, it's more likely those schools will have policies against such things. Best wishes, Ericka |
#195
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RSVP (and pinatas)
On Thu, 05 Jun 2008 21:53:01 +1000, Chookie
wrote: Preschoolers and early graders *can* do this if it is allowed. With preschoolers, a big *thing* is often to say *I'm not your friend and you can't come to my birthday party,* though usually this doesn't last long enough to become an invitation problem. We went to very few, if any, pre-school parties. But I just can't picture it at all. Perhaps my DSs move in unusual circles, but that stuff certainly wasn't going on at pre-school age. Is this a girl thing? Possibly more girls than boys, but I heard boys in our preschool classes do this as well. The first act of exclusion was by a jealous female friend of DS1's, in Kindy. I would not say it was a feature of DS1's friendships, as a rule, and he is 7 now. I should also point out that the school puts a lot of effort into encouraging positive relationships (not with tokenistic stuff like banning party invitations, either) so perhaps that has something to do with it. The schools I taught in discouraged this and worked on positive relationships, not excluding others from play, etc. It still happened though. Usually, the kids would be mad at one another for a while and then make up. -- Dorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. The Outer Limits |
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