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My 3.5 year old will pee, but not poop in potty
We have a 3.5 year old daughter that has been potty trained as far a
pee is concerned for several months. She has full control of her body bladder and bowels; she wears panties all day and at night, too. However, she refuses to poop, or even sit on the potty. (She will ask for a diaper when she needs to poop.) We have tried "everything" to get her to poop in the potty, without any luck. We've tried bribes (candy, toys, dress-up clothes), but they don't seem to do the trick. We have her poop, while wearing her diaper, in the bathroom and then dump her poop from the diaper into the potty (so she understands where the poop is suppose to go.) We have had her sit on the potty while wearing her diaper. We've had her sit on the potty for 10 min, etc. Each time we put on the potty, she has a crying fit. (Getting her on the potty is a huge struggle.) She will say "next time I will poop in the potty", but each time she has to poop she will cry "I don't want to poop in the potty." I believe she has more issue with pooping sitting down, then with losing the diaper. (Even if she has a diaper on, she doesn't want to sit on the potty.) All the girls her age seem to already be "poop" potty trained; should we conitnue to try to get her to poop in the potty or back off? I'd like to know if anyone else has had a similar experinece and what they did to get past the issue. Although I know there is no "standard", for those that take a passive approach, by when do most girls decide to poop in the potty? |
#2
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JB wrote: All the girls her age seem to already be "poop" potty trained; should we conitnue to try to get her to poop in the potty or back off? I'd like to know if anyone else has had a similar experinece and what they did to get past the issue. Although I know there is no "standard", for those that take a passive approach, by when do most girls decide to poop in the potty? My daughter is 3y3months old and still has issues with pooping on the potty - she'll do it sometimes, and sometimes not, so I really don't have any advice for you (we are currently rewarding her with Dora tatoos, and its working now, but the reward system seems to work for awhile then stop working). We've actually had some success with a poop chart - her picture with 5 boxes, for each potty poop she gets a sticker. When all the boxes have stickers, she gets to pick a toy from the store. Anyway, my point was that it isn't that unusual for 3y+ girls to not be pooped trained. There are a couple in her daycare class of that age that are having the same issue. I feel for you though, and will be watching for the advice you get. My mom said with my brother, she had the same problem. Her pediatrician told her that when he was ready, he'd use the potty. And he was right. One day, he came out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles saying to my mom, "Are you going to wipe me". From that point on he pooped in the potty. He was 3.5 years. Mary |
#3
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"Mary W." wrote:
JB wrote: All the girls her age seem to already be "poop" potty trained; should we conitnue to try to get her to poop in the potty or back off? I'd like to know if anyone else has had a similar experinece and what they did to get past the issue. Although I know there is no "standard", for those that take a passive approach, by when do most girls decide to poop in the potty? I never had an issue with this with any of mine that I remember. When dd#2 was trained for pee at 2.5, she was also trained for poop. However, I do and my mom did have an issue (not with going in the potty LOL) with pooping regularly. My mom was mortified because when she was in school they had to report whether they had a bowel movement each day, and since she didn't have one everyday, she couldn't say that she had, so she didn't get a sticker. My dh has a bm every morning. He thinks it is really weird and somewhat deficient of me that I don't. Of course when mom and I (and my sister) do have one it is what my dad used to call an ostrich egg and tended to clog up the plumbing. It also was a bit painful. I know one of my grandsons resisted pooping and would say 'it doesn't hurt yet', but AFAIK he is now trained, and I think his little sister is about ready, if she isn't already trained - she's 3.5 IIRC. My daughter is 3y3months old and still has issues with pooping on the potty - she'll do it sometimes, and sometimes not, so I really don't have any advice for you (we are currently rewarding her with Dora tatoos, and its working now, but the reward system seems to work for awhile then stop working). We've actually had some success with a poop chart - her picture with 5 boxes, for each potty poop she gets a sticker. When all the boxes have stickers, she gets to pick a toy from the store. Anyway, my point was that it isn't that unusual for 3y+ girls to not be pooped trained. There are a couple in her daycare class of that age that are having the same issue. I feel for you though, and will be watching for the advice you get. My mom said with my brother, she had the same problem. Her pediatrician told her that when he was ready, he'd use the potty. And he was right. One day, he came out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles saying to my mom, "Are you going to wipe me". From that point on he pooped in the potty. He was 3.5 years. Mary grandma Rosalie |
#4
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"JB" wrote in message om... We have a 3.5 year old daughter that has been potty trained as far a pee is concerned for several months. She has full control of her body bladder and bowels; she wears panties all day and at night, too. However, she refuses to poop, or even sit on the potty. (She will ask for a diaper when she needs to poop.) Then give her a diaper. For some reason, she doesn't want to poop in the potty. Make sure her feet are on a solid surface, like a stool when she poops. Imagine if you had to poop and a huge toilet and your feet just hung there. Make sure you don't flush while she is on the toilet (sometimes that scares kids). It is far more important that she poops and doesn't try to hold in her poop than she poops in the potty. If she starts to hold in her poop, you end up with problems with constipation, which you don't want. Remember, it is her poop. She will put it where she wants. And she will win any battles over her poop too (or, more accurately, you'll both lose). We have tried "everything" to get her to poop in the potty, without any luck. We've tried bribes (candy, toys, dress-up clothes), but they don't seem to do the trick. We have her poop, while wearing her diaper, in the bathroom and then dump her poop from the diaper into the potty (so she understands where the poop is suppose to go.) We have had her sit on the potty while wearing her diaper. We've had her sit on the potty for 10 min, etc. Each time we put on the potty, she has a crying fit. (Getting her on the potty is a huge struggle.) She will say "next time I will poop in the potty", but each time she has to poop she will cry "I don't want to poop in the potty." I believe she has more issue with pooping sitting down, then with losing the diaper. (Even if she has a diaper on, she doesn't want to sit on the potty.) All the girls her age seem to already be "poop" potty trained; She is poop trained. She knows when she has to poop, she can hold it and go when it is time. should we conitnue to try to get her to poop in the potty or back off? I'd like to know if anyone else has had a similar experinece and what they did to get past the issue. Although I know there is no "standard", for those that take a passive approach, by when do most girls decide to poop in the potty? Let her poop in the diaper. Ask her why she doesn't want to poop on potty. And model the proper pooping experience for her. Jeff |
#5
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Potty teaching is a difficult road, I feel your pain. I wish I could offer
good advice, but our 3 year old won't poop OR pee on the potty. Because we know how sensitive this issue is, we don't push it, but believe me, like you, we've tried it all. Just don't stress over it, and while we've been no more successful than you, I truly think that the bigger issue you make of it, the worse it will be. Act like you don't care whether or not she goes poop in the potty, but reiterate to her every few days that pooping in the potty is something everybody does eventually, whether she does it now or later. If she chooses later, which she obviously has, so be it. Take it from me, I was potty trained with spankings and humiliation - it may work, but it has BAD repercussions. I got spanked every time I messed my pants, and I was not allowed off the potty until I made pee or poop. This often entailed hours on the potty, and I ate several meals in the bathroom. My mom brags how I was completely accident-free within a month. She fails to brag about the fact that I suffered with UTI's and constipation well into my teen years, not to mention the hemorrhoids that kept me riding bikes my entire childhood. I am convinced that 3 year olds have the strongest resolve of any age humans. If they don't want to do something, they just aren't going to do it, regardless of how constipated, hungry, sleep-deprived, or sick their will renders them. Good luck -Christine 8/26/04 4:45 AM, in article , "JB" wrote: We have a 3.5 year old daughter that has been potty trained as far a pee is concerned for several months. She has full control of her body bladder and bowels; she wears panties all day and at night, too. However, she refuses to poop, or even sit on the potty. (She will ask for a diaper when she needs to poop.) We have tried "everything" to get her to poop in the potty, without any luck. We've tried bribes (candy, toys, dress-up clothes), but they don't seem to do the trick. We have her poop, while wearing her diaper, in the bathroom and then dump her poop from the diaper into the potty (so she understands where the poop is suppose to go.) We have had her sit on the potty while wearing her diaper. We've had her sit on the potty for 10 min, etc. Each time we put on the potty, she has a crying fit. (Getting her on the potty is a huge struggle.) She will say "next time I will poop in the potty", but each time she has to poop she will cry "I don't want to poop in the potty." I believe she has more issue with pooping sitting down, then with losing the diaper. (Even if she has a diaper on, she doesn't want to sit on the potty.) All the girls her age seem to already be "poop" potty trained; should we conitnue to try to get her to poop in the potty or back off? I'd like to know if anyone else has had a similar experinece and what they did to get past the issue. Although I know there is no "standard", for those that take a passive approach, by when do most girls decide to poop in the potty? |
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#7
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JB wrote:
We have a 3.5 year old daughter that has been potty trained as far a pee is concerned for several months. She has full control of her body bladder and bowels; she wears panties all day and at night, too. However, she refuses to poop, or even sit on the potty. (She will ask for a diaper when she needs to poop.) Hunter was similar only he never asked for a diaper. Personally, I'd completely back off and gladly hand her the diaper (or get her pull-ups that she can get and put on by herself) and just wait for her to decide it is time to use the potty. Actually if you go the pull-ups route she might decide it is more work then is worth it. I'd not mention one word and if she is still using the diaper after 3 full months you could nonchalantly offer her some big-girl reward (toy or activity) if she manages to poop in the potty 5 days in a row or something like that. Then don't mention the reward. Don't mention if she uses the diaper. Be pleased when she uses the potty but not overly enthusiastic. Maybe use a sticker on a chart to mark the success. 5 stickers in a row = reward. If she is anything like my two, she is never going to use the potty just to please you. It has to be something she decides. To much enthusiasm freaked Luke out and he became really self conscious. For Hunter to much enthusiasm made digging in his heels to annoy us much more fun then using the potty :-) -- Nikki |
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On Fri, 27 Aug 2004 01:50:08 EDT, Christine Chase
wrote: Act like you don't care whether or not she goes poop in the potty, but reiterate to her every few days that pooping in the potty is something everybody does eventually, whether she does it now or later. If she chooses later, which she obviously has, so be it. Take it from me, I was potty trained with spankings and humiliation - it may work, but it has BAD repercussions. I got spanked every time I messed my pants, and I was not allowed off the potty until I made pee or poop. This often entailed hours on the potty, and I ate several meals in the bathroom. My mom brags how I was completely accident-free within a month. She fails to brag about the fact that I suffered with UTI's and constipation well into my teen years, not to mention the hemorrhoids that kept me riding bikes my entire childhood. I am convinced that 3 year olds have the strongest resolve of any age humans. If they don't want to do something, they just aren't going to do it, regardless of how constipated, hungry, sleep-deprived, or sick their will renders them. Hear, hear. Christine speaks from her unfortunate experience. I would agree with all the advice on this thread. A few more comments: Refusal to use the potty at this age is often due not to "stubbornness" but rather to irrational fear. This fear worsens when she is forced to confront it (e.g., forced to use the potty or threatened if she doesn't.) Make sure her stools are soft and painless. When a child has a painful stool, she may decide not to do it again, and will hold in bowel movements, making future ones even more painful. Constipation is the great enemy of potty training. Give her pear juice and a high fiber diet, and if she still has hard and/or painful stools, talk to her doctor. Expanding on this: Never, ever make her feel bad for having passed a stool, whether it's in a diaper, in her underwear, or on the floor. She should be praised for letting the stool out, but you can certainly discuss where to pass it next time. This can prevent retentive behaviors that are counterproductive. Finally, trying "baby steps" may be helpful. If she puts on her diaper and hides in a corner to pass her stool, you can tell her that in your family, one poops in the bathroom, and have her stand in the bathroom to do it. Later on, as she gets more comfortable, have her stand right next to the potty to do it, then perhaps standing on her step-stool in front of the potty, then maybe sitting on the potty, and finally sitting on the potty with the diaper off. Take each step only when she is comfortable with the prior step. PF |
#10
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