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how to file for child support



 
 
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  #21  
Old February 11th 06, 03:27 AM posted to alt.child-support
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"mrbrklyn" wrote in

You would almost definitely lose the children. Let it alone and stay
out of the court at all costs.


This is bull****!

Why should he be held hostage for something that is rightfully his by law?

BTW, I have a sister in law that left a marriage recently and now he is left
supporting 4 kids.
Nice thing is, he's been laid off and on welfare as he can't afford daycare
for 4 kids, so the state will sue her ass! :-)




  #22  
Old February 11th 06, 03:45 AM posted to alt.child-support
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"DB" wrote in message
. com...

"mrbrklyn" wrote in

You would almost definitely lose the children. Let it alone and stay
out of the court at all costs.


This is bull****!

Why should he be held hostage for something that is rightfully his by law?

===
Oh, so you're paying the lawyer. I guess you haven't been around here long
enough to know that in family court,
dads have to deal with what 'is,' not what should be.
===
===


  #23  
Old February 11th 06, 07:27 AM posted to alt.child-support
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"SpiderHam77" wrote in message
oups.com...

wrote:
To the original poster,

Just forget about child support, you probably make a lot more than your
ex. If you live in an income shares state, you are not going to get all
that much money anyway. You are one lucky guy. The system is strange
and silly. You might get accused of abuse. It is a dirty, dirty, dirty
system. Count your blessings, unless you want to post to this group
full time.


See now that kinda of logic and thinking is whats going to keep the
system the same.. Could you imagine telling people from the Civil
Rights movement that because they are black they should consider
themselves lucky to just be working, and deal with it.


Until and unless the Feds and the states change how they treat divorcing
couples, the judicial system will continue to stick it to men as a
collective. Remember, less then 15% of CPs are men. And it's even lower
then that if they get a C$ award. Even then, C$ orders for NCP mothers are
usually set at the lowest possible amount (according to state guidelines -
now there's a joke!) the courts can allow.

Do I agree with the way things are? Certainly not (as my previous posts
will attest to). Nor do I believe that rolling over and taking it is the
answer either. The minds of politicians and the public at large must be
changed before divorce courts equalize their playing field.

To me what alot of you have been saying is pretty much the same
argument. If you read the story he presented correctly.. 6 years have
passed since he was already AWARDED custody. Not fighting for it now..
already awarded it.


Umm, Spider, he declined the award. "..at the divorce I declined any
support. The judge told
me that if I ever want it (child support and health insurance) to come back
and ask for it."

While I see a lot of very valid points being made here, I also believe that
the OP's risk of loosing his kids is incredibly high. If it where me in his
shoes, I'd really have to think long and hard about it before making a move.
But in the end, unless I was hurting bad for cash, I seriously doubt I'd go
ahead with it. I would hate to gamble with my kids like that.

The courts are not going to try and undo this after 6 years of
Custody, if the mother has not bothered to fight for custody yet. I
like to think our judges are a little smarter then that. And can read
between the lines...


That would be a good point, if it was a woman we were talking about here.
But as you are well aware, when the courts see a man, it's almost a done
deal that he'll loose. That's not to say it couldn't work with a decent
judge, which it sounds like he got the first time he was in court. In my
mind the risks are just to great to risk my children's well being for a few
bucks.

But what the hell, try it and see what happens. The best that could happen
is he gets the cash. At worst he looses his kids.


  #24  
Old February 11th 06, 03:37 PM posted to alt.child-support
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"SpiderHam77" wrote in message
oups.com...

wrote:
To the original poster,

Just forget about child support, you probably make a lot more than your
ex. If you live in an income shares state, you are not going to get all
that much money anyway. You are one lucky guy. The system is strange
and silly. You might get accused of abuse. It is a dirty, dirty, dirty
system. Count your blessings, unless you want to post to this group
full time.


See now that kinda of logic and thinking is whats going to keep the
system the same.. Could you imagine telling people from the Civil
Rights movement that because they are black they should consider
themselves lucky to just be working, and deal with it.


Apples and bananas..............using a corrupt system to benefit one's self
just makes you as corrupt as the system.


To me what alot of you have been saying is pretty much the same
argument. If you read the story he presented correctly.. 6 years have
passed since he was already AWARDED custody. Not fighting for it now..
already awarded it.


Were you born clueless, or have you always just been that way?



The courts are not going to try and undo this after 6 years of
Custody, if the mother has not bothered to fight for custody yet. I
like to think our judges are a little smarter then that. And can read
between the lines...


See above.



And who cares how much he makes.. not the point... I make a fair bit
of coin myself... My Son and can manage without any support from my ex.
However it does not negate a person from taking care of their
responsibilty. In my particular case as I mentioned.. Any money she
gives me will go straight into a Register College Education Plan. End
of story... And I will not be able to touch the money until he is 25
and decided not to use it for college.


So you are as corrupt as the system.


Talk to your daughters when they are older, if they wanna sue for
support to go to college on, you can do that and put them through
college with it.

Your risks are too high. Male CP's are rare enough, and you could lose
your kids. Don't do it. Is it worth a 10% (debatable) chance you might
lose your kids for a couple hundred bucks a month? Is it worth even a
1% chance?


Is it worth the chance to take any risk in life. If people are not
willing to take a risk.. then nothing would ever become accomplished.
No one would ever leave their door in day. In this case I believe the
risk is well below 10%... and even it were 10%, I like those odds. I
have a 9 in 10 chance in things going my way... Hmm....


I am begining to think you wre born clueless. Risks have to be calculated
against the reward, not just the percentage chance of winning. In the
OP's case, the reward is not there when compared to the risk, but you
appear to clueless to see that fact.

No one in their right mind would risk $100 on a 95% chance to win $5.00.
That is what the OP would be doing by seeking support.



SpiderHam77

J




  #25  
Old February 11th 06, 05:20 PM posted to alt.child-support
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Default how to file for child support


P. Fritz wrote:

Apples and bananas..............using a corrupt system to benefit one's self
just makes you as corrupt as the system.


I agree the courts should not be used to further finicial gain.
However according to alot of people in here, women have have been doing
it through CS for years. So why should men not be allowed, or encourage
to the same thing if that is the only outcome of such a ploy.

Secondly I don't believe CS should be considered a Finicial gain
considering how much the average CP spends in both time and monatary
value in an effort to raise a child. Why should the NCP not contribute
to such an endenvor.

Personally I'm a full support of the idea of Joint Custody and CS
should not even be exchanged. However it's been shown to me here, time
and time again that apparently this is just not possible.

So again I ask if women have been allowed to force men to pay CS, why
should we Single Dads not be allowed, or encourage to do the same
thing. If for no other reason then to simply attempt to balance out
the scale.

To me what alot of you have been saying is pretty much the same
argument. If you read the story he presented correctly.. 6 years have
passed since he was already AWARDED custody. Not fighting for it now..
already awarded it.


Were you born clueless, or have you always just been that way?


Why is it if someone doesn't agree with your line of thinking they
are considered dumb. Thats a very narrow minded approach to life. I'm
sure glad your not in a position of power in the government...


And who cares how much he makes.. not the point... I make a fair bit
of coin myself... My Son and can manage without any support from my ex.
However it does not negate a person from taking care of their
responsibilty. In my particular case as I mentioned.. Any money she
gives me will go straight into a Register College Education Plan. End
of story... And I will not be able to touch the money until he is 25
and decided not to use it for college.


So you are as corrupt as the system.


I'm not as corrupt as the system.. I just have a belief that if you
do something, you should be held accountable for your actions. End of
story. You commit a crime, you do the time so to speak. In this case
it was the creation of a child. Well last I checked it takes 2 people
to do this, unless you can figure out a way to prove A-Sexual
reproduction in women.. And once doing so randomly pick some guy off
the street to support their child.

I agree the system needs to be changed. CS awarding is slightly
flawed in way it's calcualted alot of the time. However I know of very
few people who would ever say that paying CS is simply wrong.

The only people who seem to ever complain about CS being paid are the
ones that have been somehow jadded by the system, and the lawyers they
hire to defend them.

I am begining to think you wre born clueless. Risks have to be calculated
against the reward, not just the percentage chance of winning. In the
OP's case, the reward is not there when compared to the risk, but you
appear to clueless to see that fact.

No one in their right mind would risk $100 on a 95% chance to win $5.00.
That is what the OP would be doing by seeking support.


No you read what I wrote wrong. If you refer back to the very post
by the originator of the thred he stated that he has been AWARDED
CUSTODY, use big letters so you don't miss it that time. And he
DECLINED CS at that time. He did not go into details as to why.. could
of been a variety of factors.

However the judge advised him if he felt he ever needed it, to simply
apply. Sounds like a very Stable Minded judge to me.. and most of the
Judges I encountered during my custody hearings sounded about the
same.. And along with a few other Single Fathers I know who fought for
custody... both in the USA, and Canada where I live.

Personally I don't think he has any risk at all of losing his
Children. I have trouble imagining any judge, where the NCP has next
to no contact over a period of 6 years all of the sudden handing over
Custody to that person. Visitations maybe, but for some reason I think
Visitations were already included in the original agreement.

I think his risk of losing the children are at best 1 in 100 chance.
Or 1%. I don't think after 6 years of custody he would lose it.. Makes
no sense... Unles the older child, since it is her choice now being
over 12, decides she wants to live with Mom...

But that has nothing to do with the case at hand, as the child could
decide to that at anytime. Regardless of what either parent wants...

SpiderHam77

  #26  
Old February 12th 06, 05:17 PM posted to alt.child-support
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Default how to file for child support

On Fri, 10 Feb 2006 18:40:34 -0500, Werebat
wrote:



Confused_Dad wrote:

Go to your Social services department for your count and they will
direct you in the right direction.. However be careful. I have read
some of these posting and these people are right. I would not be
suprised in the least if she tries to turn the custody on you. You are
better off waiting until they are 17 and 11 (that way they can make
their owm minds up). Then nail the B____ for child support. if
everything goes your way she will have to pay for all arrears since the
divorce (that's what happened to me to an extent). The mother of my
daughter filed 10 months after and I had to pay all the way back to her
birth. I didn't mind since she was my daughter. But I have heard
other cases where this had happened (only to guys though of course)


I agree, get by on your own until it's too late for her to file for a
change of custody. The draconian laws about arrears are your friend here.

- Ron ^*^


But since child support had already been addressed in the divorce (and
not ordered with his consent), wouldn't retroactive support be limited
to the time he files?
Beverly
  #27  
Old February 13th 06, 12:35 AM posted to alt.child-support
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"Beverly" wrote in

But since child support had already been addressed in the divorce (and
not ordered with his consent), wouldn't retroactive support be limited
to the time he files?


True!

Arrears only accrue from the time of an order is issued unless the child is
under 6 years of age when filed and they take it all the way back to the
date of birth as in my case!


  #28  
Old February 13th 06, 01:48 AM posted to alt.child-support
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Default how to file for child support

I'm not sure how you go about it, but I think you are right in doing
so. I have been paying child support out the wazoo because I make lots
more money than my ex, and it's only fair that men should be able to
get the same compensation.

Don't let others scare you about the change of custody order. Sure,
she can pull that, but if you have no problems in your history then you
are most likely just fine. The fact that the children have been with
you 6.5 years makes me think that there was a reason you got them to
start with, so there's a huge advantage. Do not fear!

The easy (and smart) way is to retain a good attorney, and he'll handle
everything for you.

  #29  
Old February 13th 06, 05:37 PM posted to alt.child-support
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I agree with Snowshoe here... The time factor alone... over 6 years
of Custody.. gives you whats known as Defacto Custody if nothing has
ever been written on paper about the Custody. Meaning that the courts
are not going to just upset the balance of the Children's lives, based
on the fact that Mommy now wants them...

I can't imagine any court ever doing such a thing. 6 years is a long
time... And if there have been no complications up until now.. why
would the courts step in an intervine. I find the people who are so
against the courts and how rulings are made, are the ones who have had
a ruling made against them, and not the way they wanted it to go.

SpiderHam77

  #30  
Old February 13th 06, 06:03 PM posted to alt.child-support
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"SpiderHam77" wrote in message
oups.com...
I agree with Snowshoe here... The time factor alone... over 6 years
of Custody.. gives you whats known as Defacto Custody if nothing has
ever been written on paper about the Custody. Meaning that the courts
are not going to just upset the balance of the Children's lives, based
on the fact that Mommy now wants them...

I can't imagine any court ever doing such a thing. 6 years is a long
time... And if there have been no complications up until now.. why
would the courts step in an intervine. I find the people who are so
against the courts and how rulings are made, are the ones who have had
a ruling made against them, and not the way they wanted it to go.


Just because it makes sense, Spidey, does not mean that that's the way it
will happen. I can imagine a lawyer up there pleading that girls need their
mothers during the difficulties of adolescence, and that mom has worked
through the difficulties she was experiencing after the birth of her second
child. She is now ready, willing, and able to be the mother that teenage
girls need and deserve. A few tears from mom, regretting past decisions,
"Oh, no, Your Honor, I don't hold their father in the least bit reponsible
for driving me away because he didn't understand post partum depression.
Why didn't I fight for my girls? I was so depressed that I was sure he
would win in court. I was too weak to stand up for myself. The intervening
years? Well, Sir, it has taken a lot of hard work on my part to get to
where I am today. But now I am ready." quavering smile on tear-streaked
face You have not experienced unfairness in court, so it is easy for you
to encourage this man to take the chance. Those who *have* experienced
unfairness are not so sure it is a good idea.


 




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