A Parenting & kids forum. ParentingBanter.com

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Go Back   Home » ParentingBanter.com forum » misc.kids » General
Site Map Home Authors List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read Web Partners

Talking about death to a 3 year old?



 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old June 14th 09, 05:29 AM posted to misc.kids
Avid Fan
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2
Default Talking about death to a 3 year old?

My mother died recently. I used take my son over on a weekly
fortnightly basis (I saw her more frequently after work) I used to take
them out to lunch to try to get her to eat more.

I have totally avoided the topic. My son was in day care the day of the
funeral

Now my three year old boy has started to ask "Can we go to Nona's?"
What do I say?
  #2  
Old June 15th 09, 10:41 AM
rajagiri rajagiri is offline
Junior Member
 
First recorded activity by ParentingBanter: Jun 2009
Posts: 1
Default

try to divert his mood by getting him something different...
  #3  
Old June 15th 09, 06:16 PM posted to misc.kids
Ericka
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 64
Default Talking about death to a 3 year old?

Avid Fan wrote:
My mother died recently. I used take my son over on a weekly
fortnightly basis (I saw her more frequently after work) I used to take
them out to lunch to try to get her to eat more.

I have totally avoided the topic. My son was in day care the day of the
funeral

Now my three year old boy has started to ask "Can we go to Nona's?"
What do I say?


I think you're going to have to talk to him about it,
and it will be more challenging because you didn't talk about
it at the time (so now you have the double issue that he may
worry what else important has happened that you're not telling
him about).
The good news is that kids tend to deal fairly well
with death. They don't have the lookahead ability to really
understand how permanent it is, so sometimes it's a little
less devastating to them in the moment. Explain to him that
she was very sick and her body wasn't able to keep going
anymore and so she died and can't be with us anymore. You
can add anything appropriate from your faith tradition, if
you like. There are lots of books for children, so you could
go to the bookstore and see if there's one that seems suitable
for your child, his age, and your beliefs. Often, the thing
kids worry about most when you tell them about a death in the
family is that you'll be next. You probably want to reassure
him that what happened to his grandmother is not going to happen
to you anytime soon. It's normal for kids at this age to be
sad when you tell them, but it's also normal for them to have
little reaction. It takes a while for them to process things,
and you can usually expect that the topic will come up at
intervals over the years as they grow in their understanding.
I'm very sorry for your loss--it's a lot to have to
deal with losing your mother and also having to worry how to
handle it with your child.

Best wishes,
Ericka
 




Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Foster mom sentenced in death of 4-year-old fx Spanking 0 December 9th 07 06:00 PM
Foster mom sentenced in death of 4-year-old fx Foster Parents 0 December 9th 07 06:00 PM
Trial of foster mother charged in childs death could wrap up Wednesday:2-year-old was burned and beaten to death.... fx Spanking 0 June 12th 07 11:14 PM
Trial of foster mother charged in childs death could wrap up Wednesday:2-year-old was burned and beaten to death.... fx Foster Parents 0 June 12th 07 11:14 PM
2 1/2 year old not talking hsstanley General 12 June 14th 06 10:25 PM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 05:44 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004-2024 ParentingBanter.com.
The comments are property of their posters.