Is there an equation ?

"Sophie" wrote in message
...

"Ian" wrote in message
...

The OP was asking if it was harder with 2 kids than one. I am not here
to
start a debate, but logically it is harder. Why do people lie and say
parenting is a breeze? Sometimes it feels like some big secret club,
that
no
one knows the secret to how bad it is until you are in it!

What don't you get? Parenting is not hard for everyone. To some people
it
*is* a breeze. Why is that so hard for you to understand??

How do you make it a breeze Sophie? Id love to know. Like I said we have one
aged 8. Both my and my wife are shattered by 10pm. I work full time she is a
SAHM. If we stay up till midnight its an event!

We're the same as you - same car, same house. We had this house and car
with only 2 kids and will be fine with 4 (2 kids in each room). We
qualify
for a bigger house but I can't be bothered to move.

Honestly, I dont want to move but ya know, I have to have some breathing
space. I found a house I love but the thought of moving, again, with 4 kids
really bites. At least it wont be for a few more years.

We have 4 bedrooms but Xander's is a den-type walk through room, not a real
bedroom. Kaylie's room is very tiny. She has her bed, dresser and desk in
there and it's crowded. Our room is small. Noah's is huge and he has 2 beds
in there now. I can't wait to get the baby in there honestly, probably a lot
sooner than I would normally move him into a bed, like 18 mos if I can.


You said in another post about activities. That's really our only expense
that will increase as the kids get older. But then some things stop. As
it
is this year I pay for C's gymnastics ($36 a month) and P's playgroup ($88
a
month). Her gym will stay the same next yr, might add soccer, P will go
to
free pre-K, but L will start a playgroup. Then the next yr, P will add an
activity, L will go to free pre-K, but #4 will go to a playgroup.

Isn't it great when Pre-K is free? I dont think I'd pay for preschool
actually. Noah will be doing soccer this spring, that's free too. Dance is a
lot for us because it's 4 classes and I'd prefer to cut that back but she
wont hear of it. Especially that damn dance team, we have to freakin' travel
6 hours for a competition next month, oh joy. lol.

Then
there's my mental asylum fees - lol.



I'll be in the next padded room over, tee hee.

Kari

"Ian" wrote in message
...

"Sophie" wrote in message
...

"Ian" wrote in message
...

The OP was asking if it was harder with 2 kids than one. I am not here
to
start a debate, but logically it is harder. Why do people lie and say
parenting is a breeze? Sometimes it feels like some big secret club,
that
no
one knows the secret to how bad it is until you are in it!

What don't you get? Parenting is not hard for everyone. To some people
it
*is* a breeze. Why is that so hard for you to understand??

How do you make it a breeze Sophie? Id love to know. Like I said we have
one
aged 8. Both my and my wife are shattered by 10pm. I work full time she is
a
SAHM. If we stay up till midnight its an event!


I don't think Sophie's implying its a breeze everyday, but for the most
part, its been a breeze. Her kids are almost identical in age to me and I'm
not freaking out about being in bed by 10pm. I work part time, my husband's
in the Navy and subject to many many deployments and we have fun. We don't
stress over messes or loudness or most of the stuff I stressed out with over
one child. We have gymnastics, soccer, preschool for my Autistic daughter,
and church. And plenty of time left to hang out at the library, playgroup,
McDonald's playland.. I don't get what's so hard just like you don't get
what's so easy.

"Kari" wrote in message
...

We're the same as you - same car, same house. We had this house and car
with only 2 kids and will be fine with 4 (2 kids in each room). We
qualify
for a bigger house but I can't be bothered to move.

Honestly, I dont want to move but ya know, I have to have some breathing
space. I found a house I love but the thought of moving, again, with 4
kids
really bites. At least it wont be for a few more years.

Well if we moved into that house we'd have to do it ourselves, if we have
the wrong address C will have to change schools (with no bus), then we move
in 2006 anyway. Next time we move (hopefully to Japan) we should
automatically get a 4 bedroom.


We have 4 bedrooms but Xander's is a den-type walk through room, not a
real
bedroom. Kaylie's room is very tiny. She has her bed, dresser and desk in
there and it's crowded. Our room is small. Noah's is huge and he has 2
beds
in there now. I can't wait to get the baby in there honestly, probably a
lot
sooner than I would normally move him into a bed, like 18 mos if I can.

Our bedroom is small, C's is the biggest of the kids', which will soon be
her and the baby. We're going to put the boys together.

Isn't it great when Pre-K is free?

Yes! Lol.

I dont think I'd pay for preschool actually.

I wouldn't for a half-day of playing.

Noah will be doing soccer this spring, that's free too.

I don't know yet what soccer here costs.

Dance is a
lot for us because it's 4 classes and I'd prefer to cut that back but she
wont hear of it. Especially that damn dance team, we have to freakin'
travel
6 hours for a competition next month, oh joy. lol.

Travelling - wow. C's is just one hour a week. The leotard is pricey ($32)
for what it is (usually really ugly too). Especially since boys only have
to buy a $12 t-shirt.


Then
there's my mental asylum fees - lol.



I'll be in the next padded room over, tee hee.

Kari

Lol!

In article ,
"Ian" wrote:

"Sophie" wrote in message
...

"Ian" wrote in message
...

The OP was asking if it was harder with 2 kids than one. I am not here
to
start a debate, but logically it is harder. Why do people lie and say
parenting is a breeze? Sometimes it feels like some big secret club,
that
no
one knows the secret to how bad it is until you are in it!

What don't you get? Parenting is not hard for everyone. To some people
it
*is* a breeze. Why is that so hard for you to understand??

How do you make it a breeze Sophie? Id love to know. Like I said we have one
aged 8. Both my and my wife are shattered by 10pm. I work full time she is a
SAHM. If we stay up till midnight its an event!





time for some introspection if living life is this hard -- a full time
SAHM and a school aged child AND you are both 'shattered by 10 pm] That
seems really really odd

What don't you get? Parenting is not hard for everyone. To some people
it
*is* a breeze. Why is that so hard for you to understand??

How do you make it a breeze Sophie? Id love to know. Like I said we have
one
aged 8. Both my and my wife are shattered by 10pm. I work full time she is
a
SAHM. If we stay up till midnight its an event!



An 8 yr old??!! I thought you were talking about a baby for goodness sake.
Um, an 8 yr old gets up, goes to school, has activities, homework, dinner
and bed. Wow, that's tough.

We have a 3 - ages 5, 4, and 2, and I'm pregnant with #4 and final due in
July. The 5 yr old is in school all day, the 4 yr old has a playgroup 3
mornings a week. The 2 yr is usually with me and still wakes up once or
twice a night. We get in bed between 10:30 and 11 pm. Why stay up till
midnight? I also usually do this alone. My husband is gone by 5 am, lucky
if he's home by 7 pm, when the youngest 2 go to bed, the oldest goes at 8
pm.

And he's a Marine so he can be gone anywhere from a few days in the field
(heavenly!) to 6 months who knows where.

Personally I think parenting is as hard as you want to make it. I have a
friend with 2 boys 3 yrs apart. She never wanted to be a mother. She's
career women who is a SAHM and she resents it and hates it. If you ask her,
parenting is the worst, hardest thing in the world.

All I wanted was to be a wife and mother, I love it. So...I dunno. Not
everyone is suited to it and that's fine too. But to assume it's hard for
everyone cos it's hard for *you* is baloney IMO.

Ian wrote in message
...

"Sophie" wrote in message
...

"Ian" wrote in message
...
I don't think this is true at all. I have one child and have A LOT
more
time, energy, financial resources, couple time than my friends with
more
kids. The more kids you have the more work it will be. Thats why we
made
the
decision to have one. You arent telling me that someone with 4 kids
has
as
much free time as me?

You don't know what it's like to have two. We with 2+ do (except twins:-))
know what it's like to have one.

Actually I know plenty of moms with "lots" of kids who have more free
time
then moms of 1 or 2. Moms of more tend to be more organized for one
thing.
We don't think we have to entertain baby 24/7. My kids have siblings
for
that

My kid has friends for that. Friends that go home! The kids that come play
here ALL have siblings. Why arent they home "playing" They come here to
get
away from the aggravation of their brothers and sisters, thats why!

Rather than they like the company of you/your child? Friends who come here
come because they want to play with dd#1 and are her friends, not escaping
their own family.
Most kids get siblings by the age of 3. How can a 2, 3 or even 4 yr old
entertain a baby? They want to do their own thing. You cant leave kiddies
that age playing alone. My child wasn't left alone unsupervised until
around
4.5.

Hmmm. There's nothing barring breastfeeding that entertains dd#2 (3months)
more than dd#1 (3 years). Put dd#2 in the bouncy chair and she'll be happy
just watching dd#1 play (with/without me). And yes, dd#1 will do things to
entertain-and spends time talking to #2. It's lovely to watch. Much easier
than #1 who only was entertained by me.

You don't HAVE to be organised with just one. You can be a much more spur
of
the moment person. I don't want my life to revolve around kids activities.
I
want some adult time AND some time with my wife.


I manage those too. We're spur of the minute people and I don't think anyone
would call me organised. (dh just laughed at that!) I don't think you
revolve more around kids activities at pre-school age more for more
children. They both go to toddler group etc.
Debbie

"Jenn" wrote in message
...
In article ,
"Ian" wrote:

"Sophie" wrote in message
...

"Ian" wrote in message
...

The OP was asking if it was harder with 2 kids than one. I am not
here
to
start a debate, but logically it is harder. Why do people lie and
say
parenting is a breeze? Sometimes it feels like some big secret club,
that
no
one knows the secret to how bad it is until you are in it!

What don't you get? Parenting is not hard for everyone. To some
people
it
*is* a breeze. Why is that so hard for you to understand??

How do you make it a breeze Sophie? Id love to know. Like I said we have
one
aged 8. Both my and my wife are shattered by 10pm. I work full time she
is a
SAHM. If we stay up till midnight its an event!





time for some introspection if living life is this hard -- a full time
SAHM and a school aged child AND you are both 'shattered by 10 pm] That
seems really really odd

I don't know. We get almost zero help from family, maybe that's the
difference. It is very rare we get a night out alone. Have to book grandma
about 6 weeks in advance! We are both up at 7am everyday including weekends.
Maybe when he is older and sleeping in at the weekends it will get easier.

How can a 2, 3 or even 4 yr old entertain a baby?

Who's talking about entertaining a baby?

They want to do their own thing. You cant leave kiddies
that age playing alone. My child wasn't left alone unsupervised until
around
4.5.

Wow! Not till 4.5? You never peed alone, took a shower??

I mean extended periods of being left alone, like colouring in their room
etc. You cant leave a 3 yr old alone, they are into everything!!

Depends on your 3 year old. We have "quiet time". For 1hr every afternoon
dd#1 goes to her room with a quiet toy and plays. She asks for the time if I
don't suggest it. Often she doesn't want to come out. It can be a little
untidy afterwards in her room, but she's not in any danger or causing any
problems there. She can call to me if she needs something.


You don't HAVE to be organised with just one. You can be a much more
spur
of
the moment person. I don't want my life to revolve around kids
activities. I
want some adult time AND some time with my wife.

I have to laugh it when someone with only one child *thinks* they know
what
it's like to have more than one. I had no idea I had such a horrid
life,
with no time, dictated constantly by my whiny, fighting kids. LOL!

I get a taste when my kids has friends over. The noise and mess level goes
up about 200%. Constant "He did this" and "she did that" I get more
trouble
from the kids with siblings. I thought kids with siblings would know how
to
share, get along, but I have had my eyes opened. Maybe I live on a street
of
brats, but they seem like normal kids to me. No wonder their Moms send
them
over so often, they need the break!

Maybe it's your kid who doesn't know how to get along, not having siblings?
?Just a thought ;-P

I am not knocking anyone with more than one kid. I just couldn't live with
it 24/7. The demands, financial and otherwise of just one are more than
enough for me. To be honest I have no idea how people cope with more than
one. I`d love more, but I would be a wreck.

It's only about 16/7 actually. They do sleep on their own ;-P
Debbie

"Ian" wrote in message
...

"Jenn" wrote in message
...
In article ,
"Ian" wrote:

"Sophie" wrote in message
...

"Ian" wrote in message
...

The OP was asking if it was harder with 2 kids than one. I am not
here
to
start a debate, but logically it is harder. Why do people lie and
say
parenting is a breeze? Sometimes it feels like some big secret
club,
that
no
one knows the secret to how bad it is until you are in it!

What don't you get? Parenting is not hard for everyone. To some
people
it
*is* a breeze. Why is that so hard for you to understand??

How do you make it a breeze Sophie? Id love to know. Like I said we
have
one
aged 8. Both my and my wife are shattered by 10pm. I work full time
she
is a
SAHM. If we stay up till midnight its an event!





time for some introspection if living life is this hard -- a full time
SAHM and a school aged child AND you are both 'shattered by 10 pm] That
seems really really odd

I don't know. We get almost zero help from family, maybe that's the
difference. It is very rare we get a night out alone. Have to book grandma
about 6 weeks in advance! We are both up at 7am everyday including
weekends.
Maybe when he is older and sleeping in at the weekends it will get easier.



So get a babysitter. He's 8, hire a teenager. Its not like he needs mass
amounts of supervision. I live 2500+ miles away from my closest relative.
Make friends with your neighbors and swap babysitting for a couple hours.
And why do you still need to wake up on the weekends? My 5 year old is
perfectly capable of getting her own cereal and turning cartoons on Saturday
mornings.