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Child Support Payment Question



 
 
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Old November 4th 05, 06:09 PM
Tracy
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Default Child Support Payment Question

wrote in message
oups.com...
Thanks for all the advice. And to clear up any confusion - I love my
girlfriend - but am 100% not ready for marriage. I have a lot of
personal issues I'm dealing with, and do not think it's a good idea to
rush into a marriage just because she is pregnant. I told her today
that I was not ready, but that I wanted to stay together and work
things out - and make a decision on the date after the baby is born.
She's says I'm just scared and will never get married if it's up to me
- but I know after the baby is born and I see that things are going
good and that we are clicking still - she will make me a happy man.

An issue that made me really start to ponder if I would be happy or not
is when she all of a sudden said she was going to be a stay at home
mom, and all her bills would be my bills, and I was 100% responsible
for all financial burdens. This is coming from a girl that just bought
a new car, has about 10K in credit card debt, school loans, and has
recently changed her major after 3 years of college that will entail 3
more years of college. I wrote down all our expenses on a piece of
paper, and compared it with how much I made a month. We were 500 in
the hole each month - and that was figures showing "barely" getting by
and DID NOT include any baby expenses. I told her this situation would
not make me happy - I have planned my whole life, and save/manage money
very well. For her to REFUSE to get a job for the first FIVE (yes,
five) years of the kids life, and assign me the full responsibility to
cover expenses that I do not make enough money for would drive me
insain. I gave her a senario were she could work 3 shifts a week (2
days) and we would be about 200+ each month (still pre baby expenses -
so still not really "+") and we could get by. She refused to work
nights or weekends - and didn't want to be away from the baby during
the day. In the coversation we had today, she included that fact that
she wanted to finish school (and still not work) over the next three
years.

I'm a pretty laid back guy, and can go with about anything - but would
anyone in their right mind be happy about marrying a person under these
terms? Her response to that question was - I wouldn't let us be poor -
if I saw we weren't making it I would get a job. So in other words, if
I'm bone dry - spent all the savings, living off credit cards..ect -
then she would get a job. That still doesn't sound good to me.

Child support payments sound like a god send compared to the above
senario.

I would like to hear your thoughts.



I understand your frustration and it is why I have raised my boys to avoid
that type of situation by using their heads. I hate saying that, but it is
the truth. I've been active in this group for more than 7 years now and
would literally print stories similar to yours as examples of what could
happen if they don't stop and think before getting involved with someone.

Just keep one thing in mind - child care can be very expensive. Her working
and going to school full-time can really defeat the purpose of her working.
I'm not supporting her in her decision to be a stay-at-home-mommy, but am
realistic with those costs. I have a few co-workers working through the
same issues associated with working versus staying at home. One co-worker
is expecting their second child. His wife is a teacher and commutes long
hours for her job. When they subtract from her income the cost of commuting
(gas and maintenance) plus the cost of having two children in daycare, they
would not see a savings for her to continue working. Therefore, they are
making the decision for her to not work for about 4 years so they are not
impacted financially by having a second child. BTW - they wanted and
planned their children.


Thanks,
Tracy
~~~~
http://www.hornschuch.net/tracy/


 




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