Dads interaction with baby vs moms

I've noticed that my interaction with our new baby is very much
different than my wife's interaction. She is much more "googoo gaagaa"
and "here cuttie" while feeding while I'm more "get down to business"
type. Also, the crying seems more bothersome to me than to her.

The last thing I want to be bad dad. I feel bad for feeling like this,
but honestly wonder if a lot of guys are like this, at least while bay
is so young.

wrote in message
oups.com...
I've noticed that my interaction with our new baby is very much
different than my wife's interaction. She is much more "googoo gaagaa"
and "here cuttie" while feeding while I'm more "get down to business"
type. Also, the crying seems more bothersome to me than to her.

The last thing I want to be bad dad. I feel bad for feeling like this,
but honestly wonder if a lot of guys are like this, at least while bay
is so young.


Your interaction with your baby should be different. You are not her, and
she is not you. You are the dad, and she is the mom. Don't feel bad about
it, that just makes everything more complicated and sticky. Just be
yourself and love your child.

You are not a bad dad, you are just different than her. You and baby will
find your ways together, which will be different than mom's way. Baby's
crying may be more bothersome to you because you want to fix it and don't
know how, so feel helpless. Make mom go out for a few hours and get her
hair cut, or get a manicure or pedicure (or both), and spend time with your
baby, and you will develop your own soothing techniques. When you learn how
to sooth your child, you won't feel so helpless and bothered by the crying.

--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys -- 01/03/03
Addison Grace -- 09/30/04

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wrote:
I've noticed that my interaction with our new baby is very much
different than my wife's interaction. She is much more "googoo gaagaa"
and "here cuttie" while feeding while I'm more "get down to business"
type. Also, the crying seems more bothersome to me than to her.

The last thing I want to be bad dad. I feel bad for feeling like this,
but honestly wonder if a lot of guys are like this, at least while bay
is so young.

It is common for moms and dads to interact differently
with their children at pretty much any stage of the game. Different
is not necessarily bad. What you have to ask yourself is whether
you are connecting with your child in a meaningful and positive
way. If you're doing that, it doesn't matter if it's different
from the way your wife does it.

Best wishes,
Ericka

I've noticed that my interaction with our new baby is very much
different than my wife's interaction. She is much more "googoo gaagaa"
and "here cuttie" while feeding while I'm more "get down to business"
type. Also, the crying seems more bothersome to me than to her.

that's fine, me and my husband are like you, but the opposite way round,
over time, I've grown into the cooing and what not and it has made me
feel closer to my kids, it just took be a bit of time to learn, and it
wasn't just a case of me learning, but I had to develop it for each kid
separately, so it's more a growth of relationship thing, so I suspect
that the closening of the relationship came before the verbal expression
of it.
Anne

wrote:

I've noticed that my interaction with our new baby is very much
different than my wife's interaction.

Your interaction is supposed to be different.
As long as you're treating baby with love,
it's good.

-- Anita --

On Jun 16, 11:45 am, wrote:
I've noticed that my interaction with our new baby is very much
different than my wife's interaction. She is much more "googoo gaagaa"
and "here cuttie" while feeding while I'm more "get down to business"
type. Also, the crying seems more bothersome to me than to her.

The last thing I want to be bad dad. I feel bad for feeling like this,
but honestly wonder if a lot of guys are like this, at least while bay
is so young.

It's normal. I'm the same way (except I have a wife who handles her
job well so I don't have to do anything) till this day and our son is
2 1/2.

Regards...

wrote in message
oups.com...
I've noticed that my interaction with our new baby is very much
different than my wife's interaction. She is much more "googoo gaagaa"
and "here cuttie" while feeding while I'm more "get down to business"
type. Also, the crying seems more bothersome to me than to her.

The last thing I want to be bad dad. I feel bad for feeling like this,
but honestly wonder if a lot of guys are like this, at least while bay
is so young.

First off, before I forget, there was an email a friend sent me about how
dads act and influence in a child's life from the start. How a mom and dad
always seem to be very different in their roles and the way they parent, and
both these ways can benefit children.
I'll go look for that email right now.
*Alright, it's a fairly long email, so I'll post it under just so others
won't have to read through it if they don't want to!

Moms and dads tend to have very different parenting styles and relationships
with their children. It's often a really good thing for all.
You're not a bad dad - and she's not a bad mom - just because you're so
different.

Both of you have very different relationships right from the start. Mom
carried the baby, literally felt him grow inside her, has that special bond
that a mother only has, as she has a different experience with pregnancy
than dads do. Dad can see the baby getting bigger before birth, can feel
him kick and wiggle inside his cramped living spaces, can talk directly into
Mom's tummy and do things that mom can't do like lay his head on her tummy.
(well, for the most part, moms can't really do the last 2 things very well!)
I know that N has a different relationship with the kids than I do. It
doesn't make him any better or worse of a parent.

Also, with crying, it does seem like (of course, generally speaking) males
tend to have a harder time with babies crying. Something that you might
need to learn is how to soothe your baby. It seems that around here, I am
the one that does most of the soothing, although not all of it. Males
generally have lower and deeper voices than females. That doesn't mean a
male's voice can be or is less soothing to a baby. Again, something that
might need to be learned.

Babies tend to be so needy at a young age. To me, it just seems that the
old "mother's instinct" is far stronger for a mom than a dad. I hear crying
in another room, I go running. N hears crying in another room, he often
will holler from the room he's in before he goes running
You're not a bad dad just because your relationship is different than your
DW's!

I'll post that article below if you wanted to scan through it. It's
actually very interesting, and when I first read through it (and even every
now and then when I read it over again) I do see that it appears to be very,
very true - for us, anyways.

"xkatx" wrote in message
news:uYJdi.30827$nx3.4422@edtnps89...

wrote in message
oups.com...
I've noticed that my interaction with our new baby is very much
different than my wife's interaction. She is much more "googoo gaagaa"
and "here cuttie" while feeding while I'm more "get down to business"
type. Also, the crying seems more bothersome to me than to her.

snip
Also, with crying, it does seem like (of course, generally speaking) males
tend to have a harder time with babies crying.
snip
Really? Dh almost never disturbs his sleep for a crying baby. I remember
once with #1 putting her loudly crying mouth next to his ear and he didn't
even pause in the snoring pattern. He will quite happily finish his meal
while the baby is crying, whereas I'd rather hold them through the meal if
it keeps them from crying.
The only way I think he finds the crying harder is that I can always feed
them if nothing else will calm them and he can't so he can feel powerless
when they're needing food.
It's not that the crying doesn't bother him at all, just if he needs to
finish/do something he seems to be able to tune it out, whereas I can't, so
I'll stop what I'm doing rather than have them continue crying.
Debbie