If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#81
|
|||
|
|||
Empowering boys
"Tiffany" wrote in message ... Paul Fritz wrote in message ... "Tiffany" wrote in message ... V wrote in message ... "Tiffany" wrote in message ... I don't think you were being gender biased. Both parents should talk to the kids, that way they see both sides of the card. Unfortutanly both parents aren't always there. How much longer before you have the talk? T Oh we have. They know what I do and my kids (both) have been taught how to defend themselves, against anyone trying to hurt them....as far as sex we have had the talk...and it was not so bad. I was just open and will stay opening to questioning. I forget sometimes, there are single dads to girls vice versa, hence using "mom's talking to sons" instead of parents talking to their children. How old are your kids? V One....12 girl. We had the talk, retalk, reminder talk, ect. She will be 13 at the end of the month so its getting closer and closer to the point she may do 'it'. Now I work to remind her what can happen that one instant with out protection, stuff like that. Yeah, two kids were caught at the local public school.......8th graders, he was getting a b.j. in a science room DURING class. My ex overheard my daughter (13) taking to a friend about another girl iin her class (private catholic school) getting 'fingered' during school.........YIKES Yeah, its scary. I talk to mine about oral sex.... I don't want her running around giving blowjobs with disregard for her own sexual pleasure. lol. Actually I don't say it that way. These girls just do the bj's and get nothing back. In that case it is demoralizing. I do tell her that emotions and feelings should be considered before doing anything sexual and that were she to be one of those girls doing the bj's or whatever, she would get a reputation that would follow her through high school. I never spoke to her about getting 'fingered'. I guess that will have to come up at the next one. I will add also that it is becoming common for teenagers to engage is anal sex..... because all these things aren't really SEX you see. You can't get pregnant doing these things. Thanks Clinton. Side note...... imagine the teacher who caught the 2 in the mist of oral sex during a lecture! Well, you have to watch out for the teachers as well. You may remember a certain very successful H.S. basketball coach (and dean of students) ....I went to school with him......that ended up doing a couple of years in the Pa. State Prison for being involved with several female students.......and apparently it had been going on for years.......perosnally, I don't think he did enough time...........and had it been my daughter.....I'd probably be doing time now. T |
#82
|
|||
|
|||
Empowering boys
"lm" wrote in message ... On Thu, 4 Mar 2004 08:23:33 -0500, "Tiffany" wrote: Paul Fritz wrote in message ... "Tiffany" wrote in message ... V wrote in message ... "Tiffany" wrote in message ... I don't think you were being gender biased. Both parents should talk to the kids, that way they see both sides of the card. Unfortutanly both parents aren't always there. How much longer before you have the talk? T Oh we have. They know what I do and my kids (both) have been taught how to defend themselves, against anyone trying to hurt them....as far as sex we have had the talk...and it was not so bad. I was just open and will stay opening to questioning. I forget sometimes, there are single dads to girls vice versa, hence using "mom's talking to sons" instead of parents talking to their children. How old are your kids? V One....12 girl. We had the talk, retalk, reminder talk, ect. She will be 13 at the end of the month so its getting closer and closer to the point she may do 'it'. Now I work to remind her what can happen that one instant with out protection, stuff like that. Yeah, two kids were caught at the local public school.......8th graders, he was getting a b.j. in a science room DURING class. My ex overheard my daughter (13) taking to a friend about another girl iin her class (private catholic school) getting 'fingered' during school.........YIKES Yeah, its scary. I talk to mine about oral sex.... I don't want her running around giving blowjobs with disregard for her own sexual pleasure. lol. Actually I don't say it that way. These girls just do the bj's and get nothing back. In that case it is demoralizing. I do tell her that emotions and feelings should be considered before doing anything sexual and that were she to be one of those girls doing the bj's or whatever, she would get a reputation that would follow her through high school. I never spoke to her about getting 'fingered'. I guess that will have to come up at the next one. I will add also that it is becoming common for teenagers to engage is anal sex..... because all these things aren't really SEX you see. You can't get pregnant doing these things. Thanks Clinton. All of that thinking predates Clinton, you can be sure of that. voice of experience???? sorry, I couldn't resist.............yes sex predates Clinton, but the general acceptance of such acts 'not being sex' as an excuse certain can be laid at his feet. lm |
#83
|
|||
|
|||
Empowering boys
'Kate wrote in message ... On Thu, 4 Mar 2004 08:47:19 -0500, "Paul Fritz" 'Kate wrote in message The problem with how you've reported is that each agency uses a different criterion for what it includes as rape. For example, the FBI statistics do not include incomplete rape or non-violent rape. A person can be penetrated without ejaculation and that will not be included (an example only). The rate of rape/sexual assault has lessened considerably since 1995. If 248,000 people were raped or sexually assaulted in 2002 (reported rapes only) and 44%* of reports filed are from victims who are 18 years old or less, then 109,000 are under 18. If adolescence starts at age 13, then by the time a child reaches age 18 (5 years), 545,000 teens will have reported being raped or sexually assaulted. Classic example of stats gone bad. Lets take your example......109,000 under age 18 were raped....lets call it 110,000 for easy math, so every year age group would average 22,000 rapes per year. ( 110,000 divide by 5 years. ) The cumulative total would be 110,000 as each year group passed their 18th year. Actually, no. One would not divide the five years into the 110,000. Doing that would only be manipulating the numbers and not be a true picture of the risk. The chance of being raped increases dramatically in the 16-19 year old female age group. It increases also for those living in cities and who are black or hispanic. Spreading "risk" over years evenly does not give a realistic picture of that risk given that each age group does not have an equal "chance". It doesn't matter how you divide up the numbers, the averages would still be the same, as will the cumulative totals. The 1 in 4 stat is bogus. I can't say that anything you've shown would prove that and nothing I've shown would disprove it. Actaully, the numbers show that the 1 in 4 stat is bogus In some areas of the country, there may be a risk of 1:4 or 1:6. In some areas there may be 0 risk. That does not affect the average. If there is a local problem, then it is up to that locality to address the occurrences, find the cause, and lessen the risk. What I have seen is that there is an overall rate of decline for rape that started in the mid 1990's. I can think of several reasons for that and among those reasons is manipulation of statistics and the definitions of the variables that are used to compile the statistics. I don't think that the victims did the manipulation so there must be another reason - perhaps political. Perhaps? That is the understatement of the year. *Sex Offenses and Offenders. Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice, 1997. Age 12-34 are the highest risk years. Risk peaks in the late teens: girls 16 to 19 are four times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape or sexual assault. [2000 NCVS.] Has nothing to do with the 1 in 4 claimed ratio Nor was I defending that statistic at that point. I was fact finding. Part of the fact finding was getting information that would increase or decrease risk among teens. If risk is higher when a teen enters those age groups, then that is important to know. No doubt, as well as the where's and how's......such as use of alcohol and drugs. Also, violent crime rates, overall, are higher for lower SES, and some minority groups. The statistics tend to vary by area/location too. Urban v. suburban and rural have to be considerations when evaluating risk. Urban areas have higher crime rates. All in all, the numbers are confusing. It seems that in some areas, the incidence of rape may be as high as 1:6 male, 1:4 female. I would like to add that I have never seen a report on the incidence of rape in prisons. Would not affect the under 18 stat significantly Correct but something that has been discussed in the university that I attend because it also serves the prison system. I hadn't looked at the stats to ascertain that they weren't reported along with the rate of violent assaults in the general population. That was more for me. My general belief is that one victim is too many when it's someone you love. Teaching rape prevention and awareness to both male and female teens is a great idea. NO arguement there, but teaching the truth is more important than teaching urban myths. It depends on what one calls truth. If one's city has a higher report rate and a lower conviction rate, then there's a problem that needs to be addressed. If one's city has a high report and conviction rate, then that is a different problem. Overall, being in a city that has a high number of reported rapes & convictions will raise one's risk. Using statistics that are locally relevant and applying them nationally is not the way to go on something like this and vice versa... using national numbers to make local risk seem less can be potentially harmful. We live in our own areas. The urban myth may be more of a reality in a specific town. Sorry, but the claimed stat was "in the United States": that is an average across the board, not a local anomally. 'Kate |
#84
|
|||
|
|||
Empowering boys
P.Fritz wrote in message ... "Tiffany" wrote in message ... Paul Fritz wrote in message ... Well, you have to watch out for the teachers as well. You may remember a certain very successful H.S. basketball coach (and dean of students) ....I went to school with him......that ended up doing a couple of years in the Pa. State Prison for being involved with several female students.......and apparently it had been going on for years.......perosnally, I don't think he did enough time...........and had it been my daughter.....I'd probably be doing time now. Sure, you have to tell your kid that just because someone IS a figure of authority doesn't mean you can actually TRUST them. It must be confusing to kids. I have already told my daughter that she doesn't even open the door for someone dressed as a police officer. That basically there is no reason for the cop to enter the house, he can talk through the door. And if someone claims I am injured and at the hospital and is taking her there.... I tell her forget it, if I am injured she can't help anyways and needs to wait for her Grandmother. |
#85
|
|||
|
|||
Empowering boys
P.Fritz wrote in message ... "lm" wrote in message ... On Thu, 4 Mar 2004 08:23:33 -0500, "Tiffany" wrote: Paul Fritz wrote in message ... "Tiffany" wrote in message ... V wrote in message ... "Tiffany" wrote in message ... I don't think you were being gender biased. Both parents should talk to the kids, that way they see both sides of the card. Unfortutanly both parents aren't always there. How much longer before you have the talk? T Oh we have. They know what I do and my kids (both) have been taught how to defend themselves, against anyone trying to hurt them....as far as sex we have had the talk...and it was not so bad. I was just open and will stay opening to questioning. I forget sometimes, there are single dads to girls vice versa, hence using "mom's talking to sons" instead of parents talking to their children. How old are your kids? V One....12 girl. We had the talk, retalk, reminder talk, ect. She will be 13 at the end of the month so its getting closer and closer to the point she may do 'it'. Now I work to remind her what can happen that one instant with out protection, stuff like that. Yeah, two kids were caught at the local public school.......8th graders, he was getting a b.j. in a science room DURING class. My ex overheard my daughter (13) taking to a friend about another girl iin her class (private catholic school) getting 'fingered' during school.........YIKES Yeah, its scary. I talk to mine about oral sex.... I don't want her running around giving blowjobs with disregard for her own sexual pleasure. lol. Actually I don't say it that way. These girls just do the bj's and get nothing back. In that case it is demoralizing. I do tell her that emotions and feelings should be considered before doing anything sexual and that were she to be one of those girls doing the bj's or whatever, she would get a reputation that would follow her through high school. I never spoke to her about getting 'fingered'. I guess that will have to come up at the next one. I will add also that it is becoming common for teenagers to engage is anal sex..... because all these things aren't really SEX you see. You can't get pregnant doing these things. Thanks Clinton. All of that thinking predates Clinton, you can be sure of that. voice of experience???? sorry, I couldn't resist.............yes sex predates Clinton, but the general acceptance of such acts 'not being sex' as an excuse certain can be laid at his feet. I think it didn't help a society that is already going down the tubes with a lack of basic morals. He definately started the phrase that is still sticking that certain sexual acts AREN'T sex. T |
#86
|
|||
|
|||
Empowering boys
On Thu, 4 Mar 2004 17:24:05 -0500, "Tiffany"
wrote: P.Fritz wrote in message ... "lm" wrote in message ... On Thu, 4 Mar 2004 08:23:33 -0500, "Tiffany" wrote: Paul Fritz wrote in message ... "Tiffany" wrote in message ... V wrote in message ... "Tiffany" wrote in message ... I don't think you were being gender biased. Both parents should talk to the kids, that way they see both sides of the card. Unfortutanly both parents aren't always there. How much longer before you have the talk? T Oh we have. They know what I do and my kids (both) have been taught how to defend themselves, against anyone trying to hurt them....as far as sex we have had the talk...and it was not so bad. I was just open and will stay opening to questioning. I forget sometimes, there are single dads to girls vice versa, hence using "mom's talking to sons" instead of parents talking to their children. How old are your kids? V One....12 girl. We had the talk, retalk, reminder talk, ect. She will be 13 at the end of the month so its getting closer and closer to the point she may do 'it'. Now I work to remind her what can happen that one instant with out protection, stuff like that. Yeah, two kids were caught at the local public school.......8th graders, he was getting a b.j. in a science room DURING class. My ex overheard my daughter (13) taking to a friend about another girl iin her class (private catholic school) getting 'fingered' during school.........YIKES Yeah, its scary. I talk to mine about oral sex.... I don't want her running around giving blowjobs with disregard for her own sexual pleasure. lol. Actually I don't say it that way. These girls just do the bj's and get nothing back. In that case it is demoralizing. I do tell her that emotions and feelings should be considered before doing anything sexual and that were she to be one of those girls doing the bj's or whatever, she would get a reputation that would follow her through high school. I never spoke to her about getting 'fingered'. I guess that will have to come up at the next one. I will add also that it is becoming common for teenagers to engage is anal sex..... because all these things aren't really SEX you see. You can't get pregnant doing these things. Thanks Clinton. All of that thinking predates Clinton, you can be sure of that. voice of experience???? sorry, I couldn't resist.............yes sex predates Clinton, but the general acceptance of such acts 'not being sex' as an excuse certain can be laid at his feet. I think it didn't help a society that is already going down the tubes with a lack of basic morals. He definately started the phrase that is still sticking that certain sexual acts AREN'T sex. You guys didn't spend much time around catholic schools, did you? Girls have been protecting their virtue whilst having nonsex-sex for a long time. lm |
#87
|
|||
|
|||
Empowering boys
"Tiffany" wrote in message ... I don't know.... me and my friends weren't giving head all over schools. lol There was a scary article in the Globe and Mail a few months back that said girl even as young as 11-12 are performing oral sex, because it is consider the "new" goodnight kiss. Not only should girls this young not be having any kind of sex on ethical grounds, but if they start that young and it is just a game, then it loses all meaning. Sharing themselves with someone will never be special. Betty |
#88
|
|||
|
|||
Empowering boys
"lm" wrote in message ... On Thu, 4 Mar 2004 17:24:05 -0500, "Tiffany" wrote: P.Fritz wrote in message ... "lm" wrote in message ... On Thu, 4 Mar 2004 08:23:33 -0500, "Tiffany" wrote: Paul Fritz wrote in message ... "Tiffany" wrote in message ... V wrote in message ... "Tiffany" wrote in message ... I don't think you were being gender biased. Both parents should talk to the kids, that way they see both sides of the card. Unfortutanly both parents aren't always there. How much longer before you have the talk? T Oh we have. They know what I do and my kids (both) have been taught how to defend themselves, against anyone trying to hurt them....as far as sex we have had the talk...and it was not so bad. I was just open and will stay opening to questioning. I forget sometimes, there are single dads to girls vice versa, hence using "mom's talking to sons" instead of parents talking to their children. How old are your kids? V One....12 girl. We had the talk, retalk, reminder talk, ect. She will be 13 at the end of the month so its getting closer and closer to the point she may do 'it'. Now I work to remind her what can happen that one instant with out protection, stuff like that. Yeah, two kids were caught at the local public school.......8th graders, he was getting a b.j. in a science room DURING class. My ex overheard my daughter (13) taking to a friend about another girl iin her class (private catholic school) getting 'fingered' during school.........YIKES Yeah, its scary. I talk to mine about oral sex.... I don't want her running around giving blowjobs with disregard for her own sexual pleasure. lol. Actually I don't say it that way. These girls just do the bj's and get nothing back. In that case it is demoralizing. I do tell her that emotions and feelings should be considered before doing anything sexual and that were she to be one of those girls doing the bj's or whatever, she would get a reputation that would follow her through high school. I never spoke to her about getting 'fingered'. I guess that will have to come up at the next one. I will add also that it is becoming common for teenagers to engage is anal sex..... because all these things aren't really SEX you see. You can't get pregnant doing these things. Thanks Clinton. All of that thinking predates Clinton, you can be sure of that. voice of experience???? sorry, I couldn't resist.............yes sex predates Clinton, but the general acceptance of such acts 'not being sex' as an excuse certain can be laid at his feet. I think it didn't help a society that is already going down the tubes with a lack of basic morals. He definately started the phrase that is still sticking that certain sexual acts AREN'T sex. You guys didn't spend much time around catholic schools, did you? Girls have been protecting their virtue whilst having nonsex-sex for a long time. lm Not the schools I went to. |
#89
|
|||
|
|||
Empowering boys
"Tiffany" wrote in message ... Sure, you have to tell your kid that just because someone IS a figure of authority doesn't mean you can actually TRUST them. It must be confusing to kids. I have already told my daughter that she doesn't even open the door for someone dressed as a police officer. That basically there is no reason for the cop to enter the house, he can talk through the door. And if someone claims I am injured and at the hospital and is taking her there.... I tell her forget it, if I am injured she can't help anyways and needs to wait for her Grandmother. This is were the "password" system comes in handy. There are times when, especially single parents, have to have someone else pick up their child. Establishing a password system with your child insures that only someone who YOU have asked to pick them up will be able to. My son knows not to go with anyone, even someone he knows, if the person does not give the password. If I am not there to meet him (if I was hurt or unable to call), and some one (other then my cousin) who does not have the password tries to pick him up, he knows not to go with that person, but to go to my cousins house which is just across the street from us. Once the password has been used, you have to change it of course. Betty |
#90
|
|||
|
|||
Empowering boys
lm wrote in message ... On Thu, 4 Mar 2004 17:24:05 -0500, "Tiffany" wrote: P.Fritz wrote in message ... I think it didn't help a society that is already going down the tubes with a lack of basic morals. He definately started the phrase that is still sticking that certain sexual acts AREN'T sex. You guys didn't spend much time around catholic schools, did you? Girls have been protecting their virtue whilst having nonsex-sex for a long time. lm No, I am not catholic. Lets not get into that. lol I actually went to a Christian school and we sure weren't doing all that. T |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Girls Don't Deserve Any Unfair Advantages Over Boys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | Fair For All | General | 0 | April 13th 04 05:26 PM |
My Wish | Fair For All | General | 25 | April 8th 04 05:33 PM |
OT religion and smacking | teapot | Breastfeeding | 170 | March 19th 04 02:41 AM |
Most Misandrists are Cruel to Boy Children | Fair for all | General | 0 | March 12th 04 02:37 AM |
Review: Bad Boys II (**) | Steve Rhodes | General | 0 | August 4th 03 09:17 PM |