Moving to another state

Laurie wrote in message
...
After talking about it for years, we've taken the plunge and put
our house on the market. We're in the process of trying to find
a home in another state and are going to look at several this
coming weekend.

Wow, Laurie! I have no advice on moving, but wanted to say good luck,
and it sounds like it will turn out really well for you. I hope you
find just what you're looking for!
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 3 mo.
And a boy, EDD 4.Sept

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

Laurie wrote:

For those of you that have moved yourselves and small children to another
state, please share your experiences with me!

After talking about it for years, we've taken the plunge and put our house
on the market. We're in the process of trying to find a home in another
state and are going to look at several this coming weekend.

As soon as it was official, I nearly had an anxiety attack wondering if
we're doing the right thing. We're moving from a beautiful area, where I
grew up, 10 minutes from my parents and 50 minutes from his parents. My dad
built this house for us, and I adore it. However, it's become crazy where
we are now (Cape Cod), the traffic is unbearable in the summer and the cost
of living in MA is really high. Also, we've outgrown our house and need
more space. For a long time, we've both wanted to go somewhere where the
pace is a little slower, where we can own a lot of land, and live in the
mountains. So that's what we're doing. Financially we'll be helping
ourselves a lot; we'll be making a bit less, but cost of living is
significantly lower.

Anyway, we're really excited about it but after I told my dad tonight I felt
like I'd been punched in the stomach. He was really bummed out! I know we
need to live our own lives but I've always been a hometown kind of girl and
that made me feel sad! This is something we both really want to do, but
it's going to be so hard!

So basically I need to hear success stories from those of you that live far
from home. Will I survive? Bear in mind this is something I really *want*
to do, I'm just scared to death! What kinds of things did you do to make it
easier for yourselves and for your kids? How did you adjust without having
family around? (we will have one relative within 30-60 minutes). Anyone
have kids go to school in a small town; how is the education compared to a
larger town? (good school system is high on the list of our desired
location).

Any and all advice appreciated!

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 27 months
and Christopher, 12 weeks

*This email address is now valid*

You'll do fine. It will be an adjustment but since you'll only be an easy days
drive from family (assuming I'm correct that you are staying
in New England)
it won't be quite as shocking as moving cross country for example.
We've moved all over the country since we were married. It's always been an
adventure. My olders got so used to it after we stayed in
one place for 2 years they were requesting to move:-) Living in the same place
for 2 years was 'boring'.

For the majority of the last 11 years we lived between a 6 hour drive-4 hour
flight from my family (a short while less than a 1/2 mile
away and currently about 2 1/2 hours). We visited as much as we could and the
only
times it was miserable was when my grandmother was dying/died in 1998 and my
Mom had breast cancer in 2001 when it would have been
much better for all involved if I still lived in the same state.

I bet it will be harder on your parents then your little family.

Karen

Kari wrote in message ...
As far as traffic - we have none. In Va it was awful. I can only imagine
Cape Cod in the summers. I know the cost of living out there is INSANE! (we
have family from there) I think most small towns are going to have lower
costs of living as well in comparison to larger cities. When we moved up
here, we lived in the suburbs of Rochseter for 6 mos and it was crazy
expensive. Then we moved out here, about an hour from the city, and its SO
much cheaper. Lets just say we bought a fairly new home ('89) with 4
bedrooms, 2 car garage, full finished basement, and 3.5 acres of land for
80K. And taxes? Hardly anything. Its wonderful!!!

Just for a laugh and to compare, we have a 3 bedroom, 2 full bath one story
home, 1400 square feet of living space. 0.62 acres of land. 2 car garage,
full unfinished basement. We do have a lot of pluses, like central air,
central vac, very large deck, sprinkler system outside, very nice outdoor
shower, 2 person jacuzzi in the master bath, 2 gas fireplaces, and a hot tub
outside. Still, our house is small; and the realtor recommended listing it
for $330,000. Can you believe that?

t of course, we do have
a 30 min drive to a chain/larger grocery store, the mall, Walmart, things
like that. We do weekly trips as a family and make it an outing for dinner
and get everything we need for the week. We do have a Rite Aid, McDonalds,
Ma & Pa grocery, movie theater, and things like that right here so we
aren't
THAT bad!

Anyway, just relax and enjoy the move. It sure is scary, believe me, when
we
moved Justin didnt have a job or anything but we knew we wanted to come
back
to NY. After having been in the Navy for 9 years it was scary because you
get used to those paychecks coming no matter what. So that was mostly the
biggest fear factor for us, going civilian and since I dont work it was
pretty scary! Im sure things will be great, you'll love the sense of doing
something exciting and getting a new home, new location.

I know awhile back, you mentioned moving to this area. If you need any more
info about it, just let me know and I'll see what I can do. Its great
around
here!


Thanks Kari! We're actually heading up to the northern New Hampshire/Eastern
Vermont border area. We did look into your area a bit, but we're more
famiar with the NE, so I think we'll stick around here.

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 27 months
and Christopher, 12 weeks

*This email address is now valid*
Kari
mom to Kaylie (7) Noah (4) and #3 due Sept/Oct


"Laurie" wrote in message
. ..
For those of you that have moved yourselves and small children to another
state, please share your experiences with me!

After talking about it for years, we've taken the plunge and put our
house
on the market. We're in the process of trying to find a home in another
state and are going to look at several this coming weekend.

As soon as it was official, I nearly had an anxiety attack wondering if
we're doing the right thing. We're moving from a beautiful area, where I
grew up, 10 minutes from my parents and 50 minutes from his parents. My
dad
built this house for us, and I adore it. However, it's become crazy
where
we are now (Cape Cod), the traffic is unbearable in the summer and the
cost
of living in MA is really high. Also, we've outgrown our house and need
more space. For a long time, we've both wanted to go somewhere where the
pace is a little slower, where we can own a lot of land, and live in the
mountains. So that's what we're doing. Financially we'll be helping
ourselves a lot; we'll be making a bit less, but cost of living is
significantly lower.

Anyway, we're really excited about it but after I told my dad tonight I
felt
like I'd been punched in the stomach. He was really bummed out! I know
we
need to live our own lives but I've always been a hometown kind of girl
and
that made me feel sad! This is something we both really want to do, but
it's going to be so hard!

So basically I need to hear success stories from those of you that live
far
from home. Will I survive? Bear in mind this is something I really
*want*
to do, I'm just scared to death! What kinds of things did you do to make
it
easier for yourselves and for your kids? How did you adjust without
having
family around? (we will have one relative within 30-60 minutes). Anyone
have kids go to school in a small town; how is the education compared to
a
larger town? (good school system is high on the list of our desired
location).

Any and all advice appreciated!

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 27 months
and Christopher, 12 weeks

*This email address is now valid*

Wendy Marsden wrote in message ...
Laurie wrote:
For those of you that have moved yourselves and small children to another
state, please share your experiences with me!

My mother moved me to Vermont from Michigan when I was thirteen. I have
spent the rest of my life going back and forth to Michigan - in a hurry
for funerals, weddings and major birthdays, or taking all my vacation time
for camping trips, reunion weeks, stuff like that. I frequently regret
that it's 800 miles away: if I had it to do over again I wouldn't have
gone more than four hours away.

One of my requirements when we first decided to move was the the location
needed to be a maximum of 6 hours away, preferably more like 4, so we could
head back here in a day in the case of a family emergency.

We're moving from a beautiful area, where I
grew up, 10 minutes from my parents and 50 minutes from his parents. My
dad
built this house for us, and I adore it. However, it's become crazy
where
we are now (Cape Cod), the traffic is unbearable in the summer and the
cost
of living in MA is really high. Also, we've outgrown our house and need
more space. For a long time, we've both wanted to go somewhere where the
pace is a little slower, where we can own a lot of land, and live in the
mountains. So that's what we're doing. Financially we'll be helping
ourselves a lot; we'll be making a bit less, but cost of living is
significantly lower.

Are you considering Northern New England or are you thinking
Colorado? There is a significant difference. I'd really recommend you
look at Vermont, New Hampshire or Maine. New Hampshire has lousy services
and I'd decline to live there, but both Vermont and Maine would fit the
bill without making your distance unbearable.

We're mostly likely going to NH, possibly VT. We looked seriously into VT
last year, but didn't find exactly what we wanted. What do you mean by
"services'?


I've married and made my own family in Massachusetts and did it without
any relatives nearby and it's been hard. I envy all the people who can
drop their kids off at Mom's to go out together - my husband and I must
pay BIG MONEY to go on a date together. (The joke is that we can afford
to date anyone but each other.)

I haven't been as successful as Aula in creating a surregate family: we
just do without. When I was in labor with my second child I was nearly
stumped about what to do with the first one - I was in labor at an
inconvenient moment and couldn't get to the hospital until I was at 8 cm
dilated because I couldn't find anyone to take her. (She ended up being
cared for by three different people during the 12 hours I was in the
hospital having her brother.) I think part of the problem is a New
England one - people just don't reach out to help you in New England the
way they do in the Mid-west and South. In fact, they lose respect for you
or get suspicious if you ASK for help. Bear this in mind when planning on
forming a supportive community in New England - I doubt it would be easy.

So basically I need to hear success stories from those of you that live
far
from home. Will I survive? Bear in mind this is something I really
*want*
to do, I'm just scared to death! What kinds of things did you do to make
it
easier for yourselves and for your kids? How did you adjust without
having
family around? (we will have one relative within 30-60 minutes). Anyone
have kids go to school in a small town; how is the education compared to
a
larger town? (good school system is high on the list of our desired
location).

Yes, we survive. We have decent mental health, too! And like Aula I can
say that the kids all have relationships with their extended family,
perhaps because it takes effort to nurture it.

My opinion on the educational system is that it needs parental supervision
the entire way through. You have to pay attention to how the teacher
works with your kid, pay attention to how your kid is handling school and
supplement quite a lot with "kitchen table time". I went to public
schools in Ann Arbor (a university town) and my husband went to public
schools in Weston, MA (an extremely wealthy suberb of Boston) and my kids
are going to public schools in a small New England town and I would have
to say that more depends on the actual kid and teachers chosen than on the
school system. We have no gifted and talented programs, but I supplement
from home and we're fine.

One thing I've done well is to get enmeshed in my community. I live near
the downtown and walk to the Y and the Library and the schools. I'm known
in town and so are my children. They feel like they belong in this
community. I'm glad that we don't live miles outside of town the way I
did when my mother moved us to Vermont - we knew about five people
there. I lived there four years and I don't have ANY relationships with
anyone who still lives there.

This is also part of our plan. My hubby would be happy in the hills, but I
need to be somewhere with a nice community.


Hope this helps,

It does! Thanks!

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 27 months
and Christopher, 12 weeks

*This email address is now valid*



Wendy, Mummy to DD(12) DS(10) and DS(4)

Laurie wrote:

We're mostly likely going to NH, possibly VT. We looked seriously into VT
last year, but didn't find exactly what we wanted. What do you mean by
"services'?

New Hampshire has no sales tax and no personal income tax. You do the
math. Anyone with a special needs kid moves across the border. Real
estate taxes are truly incredible, too.

I only live 20 miles south of New Hampshire and I can tell you that there
is a different culture to NH, more of an anti-establishment ethos, like
why they don't have a helmet law. It's truly a "live free or
die" mentality, except I usually call it "live free AND die." I suppose
it appeals to people, but not to me.

I've lived in Vermont, both in the Northeast Kingdom and in Burlington,
and worked for a few years in Brattleboro. I wouldn't hesitate to go
back.

Wendy

Wendy Marsden wrote in message
The best moving tip I ever got was a simple thing to do: have ONE ROOM
that is a haven from the mess. In our case it was the screened-in front
porch. We set up the lawn furniture and tables and allowed absolutely NO
boxes or packing materials there.

I set that room up as soon as we had a load of stuff at the new house and
we ate out there and took breaks out there and generally had a place that
was already DONE. A diningroom or livingroom might have worked the same
way.

Wendy

Oh I like that idea. I will file that away in a moving folder. )

--
Sue
mom to three girls

x-no-archive:yes Wendy Marsden wrote:

Laurie wrote:

We're mostly likely going to NH, possibly VT. We looked seriously into VT
last year, but didn't find exactly what we wanted. What do you mean by
"services'?

Have you thought about western RI? We lived there and it was very
nice a rural, but close enough to the city that we got city advantages
too.

New Hampshire has no sales tax and no personal income tax. You do the
math. Anyone with a special needs kid moves across the border. Real
estate taxes are truly incredible, too.

I only live 20 miles south of New Hampshire and I can tell you that there
is a different culture to NH, more of an anti-establishment ethos, like
why they don't have a helmet law. It's truly a "live free or
die" mentality, except I usually call it "live free AND die." I suppose
it appeals to people, but not to me.

I've lived in Vermont, both in the Northeast Kingdom and in Burlington,
and worked for a few years in Brattleboro. I wouldn't hesitate to go
back.

Wendy

grandma Rosalie

"Wendy Marsden" wrote in message
...
Laurie wrote:

We're mostly likely going to NH, possibly VT. We looked seriously into
VT
last year, but didn't find exactly what we wanted. What do you mean by
"services'?

New Hampshire has no sales tax and no personal income tax. You do the
math. Anyone with a special needs kid moves across the border. Real
estate taxes are truly incredible, too.

I only live 20 miles south of New Hampshire and I can tell you that there
is a different culture to NH, more of an anti-establishment ethos, like
why they don't have a helmet law. It's truly a "live free or
die" mentality, except I usually call it "live free AND die." I suppose
it appeals to people, but not to me.

I've lived in Vermont, both in the Northeast Kingdom and in Burlington,
and worked for a few years in Brattleboro. I wouldn't hesitate to go
back.



I grew up in the Bennington area and would go back in a heart beat except
for two things: can't get a job that pays the bills and *snow*. I also
lived in various parts of the Berkshires for ten years. That was a great
place, somewhat less snow [well, a little!] and the economy is a bit less
dependent on tourists. Plus, that puts you within four hours of Boston,
NYC, close to Albany, NY and many many cultural centers like Tanglewood and
SPAC. You might consider that area if their economy is still going ok.

-Aula


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Sue wrote in message ...
Wow moving to another state, what a change. We almost made the move out of
state. We sold our house, bought another one in another state, and it was
about a week away before the move and we decided that it wasn't the right
time and right job move to change everything that we knew and loved.

Wow! Did you ever regret now going?


So I guess you're not taking the new position at the hospital then?

Actually, that's kind of bugging me right now. I *did* take the job, and I
start next Tuesday. Thing is, we were actively looking to move last year,
and didn't find want we wanted. We've been casually looking ever since, but
a few months ago decided we'd just finish off our basement (for more room)
and stick around for a while, and move a little later. If something came
along, we'd just move then. Well, we went up to NH for the 4th of July
weekend and basically found what we were looking for. DH's cousin showed him
a house that we fell in love with and we started talking about moving again.
After some thought we realized that house wasn't perfect for us because the
town is just TOO small (42 kids in the whole school) and has no community,
library, or anything like that. But we love the area and are going to move
nearby.

So now, I'm feeling so torn about that job. I start in 8 days and it's too
late to tell them no, but I feel guilty taking the job just to leave. Then
again, it could take us 6 months to sell our house and find one we love. So
unless we sell our house this week and find the perfect house this weekend,
I'm just going to start the job and take life as it comes.


So we haven't moved out of state, but I have moved three times since my
kids
have been small. Have someone keep the kids on the moving day so you can
get
stuff done. Move Jessica's things on the truck last and unpack them first
into her room so she won't feel misplaced. Since your kids are still very
little, I don't think you will have it too bad. My kids were unphased at
moving, but you can include Jessica in moving and keeping it upbeat. Try to
do some packing everyday so it is not forced on you at the last minute.
Good
luck.

Thanks for all the tips!

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 27 months
and Christopher, 12 weeks

*This email address is now valid*
Sue
mom to three girls

Laurie wrote in message
. ..
For those of you that have moved yourselves and small children to another
state, please share your experiences with me!

After talking about it for years, we've taken the plunge and put our
house
on the market. We're in the process of trying to find a home in another
state and are going to look at several this coming weekend.

As soon as it was official, I nearly had an anxiety attack wondering if
we're doing the right thing. We're moving from a beautiful area, where I
grew up, 10 minutes from my parents and 50 minutes from his parents. My
dad
built this house for us, and I adore it. However, it's become crazy
where
we are now (Cape Cod), the traffic is unbearable in the summer and the
cost
of living in MA is really high. Also, we've outgrown our house and need
more space. For a long time, we've both wanted to go somewhere where the
pace is a little slower, where we can own a lot of land, and live in the
mountains. So that's what we're doing. Financially we'll be helping
ourselves a lot; we'll be making a bit less, but cost of living is
significantly lower.

Anyway, we're really excited about it but after I told my dad tonight I
felt
like I'd been punched in the stomach. He was really bummed out! I know
we
need to live our own lives but I've always been a hometown kind of girl
and
that made me feel sad! This is something we both really want to do, but
it's going to be so hard!

So basically I need to hear success stories from those of you that live
far
from home. Will I survive? Bear in mind this is something I really
*want*
to do, I'm just scared to death! What kinds of things did you do to make
it
easier for yourselves and for your kids? How did you adjust without
having
family around? (we will have one relative within 30-60 minutes). Anyone
have kids go to school in a small town; how is the education compared to
a
larger town? (good school system is high on the list of our desired
location).

Any and all advice appreciated!

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 27 months
and Christopher, 12 weeks

*This email address is now valid*

Cheryl S. wrote in message ...
Laurie wrote in message
. ..
After talking about it for years, we've taken the plunge and put
our house on the market. We're in the process of trying to find
a home in another state and are going to look at several this
coming weekend.

Wow, Laurie! I have no advice on moving, but wanted to say good luck,
and it sounds like it will turn out really well for you. I hope you
find just what you're looking for!


Thanks Cheryl, I hope so too!

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 27 months
and Christopher, 12 weeks

*This email address is now valid*

Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 3 mo.
And a boy, EDD 4.Sept

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.