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#1
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
I was all excited to get a spot at our neighbourhood daycare centre
for my 22-month old, who has been at home until now, but a naysayer relative has made me wonder if I'm hurting my daughter more than doing her good by putting her in daycare at this age, in winter, no less. I know my daughter will benefit tremendously from being around other children in a structured educational setting. She will be in a group of 9 children, who are looked after by 2 teachers and one part-time assistant. I work full-time from home, and have a 9-month old here as well. He will stay with me until he gets a spot at the daycare at 12 months. The relative (whose neck I would love to wring right now) insists a child should be kept at home until age 3. I am doing this because I need to keep my job. Until now I had help from my mother, but she leaves in a few days, after having been with us for six months. Already a huge luxury! What I'd love is to hear some positive stories, and if there's any scientific backing to my relative's claims. |
#2
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
On Dec 4, 3:24 pm, Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward
wrote: I was all excited to get a spot at our neighbourhood daycare centre for my 22-month old, who has been at home until now, but a naysayer relative has made me wonder if I'm hurting my daughter more than doing her good by putting her in daycare at this age, in winter, no less. I know my daughter will benefit tremendously from being around other children in a structured educational setting. She will be in a group of 9 children, who are looked after by 2 teachers and one part-time assistant. I work full-time from home, and have a 9-month old here as well. He will stay with me until he gets a spot at the daycare at 12 months. The relative (whose neck I would love to wring right now) insists a child should be kept at home until age 3. I am doing this because I need to keep my job. Until now I had help from my mother, but she leaves in a few days, after having been with us for six months. Already a huge luxury! What I'd love is to hear some positive stories, and if there's any scientific backing to my relative's claims. And what business is this of your relative's? Just what does she/he think will happen if your child goes to day-care before age 3? Smile and tell the relative "Thank you for your concern but we feel we are doing what is best for our family". You said that you know your daughter will benefit so trust your instincts as her mom and don't let anyone make you doubt yourself. There is no one right way to bring up kids. I'm sure one can find studies that show advantages and disadvantages to children being cared for by a parent at home vs day care. It sounds like you've found a good day-care setting so just put that relative right out of your mind. -- Zip |
#3
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward writes:
The relative (whose neck I would love to wring right now) insists a child should be kept at home until age 3. I am doing this because I need to keep my job. Depending on your daughter's personality and how many hours she's at daycare, that relative may be right that it will hurt her in some way. At the same time, you're right that losing your job would hurt her in other ways. That's the painful thing about being a parent: We instinctively want to give our children the best in every area, yet we constantly have to choose. And we know our kids will be hurt sometimes by us, sometimes by others, and sometimes by themselves. I recently had lunch with a 23-year-old coworker. He still remembers the sinking feeling he had looking out the window the first time his mother left him at daycare. That was him. Other kids do fine all day at daycare. Still others will do well for a few hours but not all day. |
#4
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
On Dec 4, 3:24 pm, Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward
wrote: I was all excited to get a spot at our neighbourhood daycare centre for my 22-month old, who has been at home until now, but a naysayer relative has made me wonder if I'm hurting my daughter more than doing her good by putting her in daycare at this age, in winter, no less. I know my daughter will benefit tremendously from being around other children in a structured educational setting. She will be in a group of 9 children, who are looked after by 2 teachers and one part-time assistant. I disagree. My 2yo learns a lot from his parents, his baby-sitter, and his 4yo brother, and I don't think he is missing much by not being around other 2yo's. snip What I'd love is to hear some positive stories, and if there's any scientific backing to my relative's claims. There is, but this is a controversial issue. Here is an article summarizing two studies. Two Studies Link Child Care to Behavior Problems By SUSAN GILBERT New York Times, July 16, 2003 http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpag... 4C0A9659C8B63 "With findings that are bound to rekindle the debate over its effects on children, two studies being published today build on evidence that those who spend long hours in child care may experience more stress and are at increased risk of becoming overly aggressive and developing other behavior problems. One of the studies found that the more time children spent in child care, the more likely they were to be disobedient and have trouble getting along with others, though it suggested that factors like a mother's sensitivity to the child's needs could moderate that outcome. This report is from the Study of Early Child Care and Youth Development, the largest long-term study of child care in the United States, which was undertaken by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, a branch of the National Institutes of Health. The findings elaborate on preliminary research that created a storm of debate when presented by the study's investigators at a child development meeting two years ago. The other study found that in children younger than 3, levels of cortisol, a hormone associated with stress, rose in the afternoon during full days they spent in day care, but fell as the hours passed on days they spent at home. This study's researchers, from the Institute of Child Development of the University of Minnesota, had earlier found the same pattern in 3- and 4-year-olds. Cortisol levels in the saliva of day care children were highest and rose most steeply in those judged by day care center personnel to be the shyest. ''These children struggle in group situations and find them stressful,'' said the study's lead author, Dr. Megan R. Gunnar. Dr. Gunnar said that while none of the cortisol levels measured were high enough to be considered signs of psychological trauma, they were nonetheless a cause for concern." rest of article at link |
#5
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
In article
, Beliavsky wrote: I know my daughter will benefit tremendously from being around other children in a structured educational setting. She will be in a group of 9 children, who are looked after by 2 teachers and one part-time assistant. I disagree. My 2yo learns a lot from his parents, his baby-sitter, and his 4yo brother, and I don't think he is missing much by not being around other 2yo's. But you don't *know*. DS2 is getting quite a few things at day care that he doesn't get at home. He plays with kids who don't necessarily speak English very well, and are of various cultural backgrounds. Most are of a lower SES than our family -- we live in a lower middle class area. He plays with materials I'd never be bothered with at home and plays games he would not get here. You can't really play Sandy Girl with only two children! Day care, as I see it, is a substitute for playing with the kids in the street -- which is what my parents got to do as children. It breaks down social barriers and broadens the mind. I am quite competent to see to my child's education myself, and to his morals, but I cannot provide the experience of diversity (or of being in a large group of children). Most of my friends and family are Anglophone, well-off and tertiary-educated. I'd hate it if he thought that "everyone" lived like that -- and I've met plenty of people who do! -- Chookie -- Sydney, Australia (Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply) http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/ |
#6
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
"Chookie" wrote in message news:ehrebeniuk-654599.13350107122007@news... In article , Beliavsky wrote: I know my daughter will benefit tremendously from being around other children in a structured educational setting. She will be in a group of 9 children, who are looked after by 2 teachers and one part-time assistant. I disagree. My 2yo learns a lot from his parents, his baby-sitter, and his 4yo brother, and I don't think he is missing much by not being around other 2yo's. But you don't *know*. DS2 is getting quite a few things at day care that he doesn't get at home. He plays with kids who don't necessarily speak English very well, and are of various cultural backgrounds. Most are of a lower SES than our family -- we live in a lower middle class area. He plays with materials I'd never be bothered with at home and plays games he would not get here. You can't really play Sandy Girl with only two children! Day care, as I see it, is a substitute for playing with the kids in the street -- which is what my parents got to do as children. I miss this on behalf of my children. Heck for myself too! It breaks down social barriers and broadens the mind. I am quite competent to see to my child's education myself, and to his morals, but I cannot provide the experience of diversity (or of being in a large group of children). By no means disagreeing with your points, but for those who care to, there are other ways to achieve these things. Most of my friends and family are Anglophone, well-off and tertiary-educated. I'd hate it if he thought that "everyone" lived like that -- and I've met plenty of people who do! -- Chookie -- Sydney, Australia (Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply) http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/ |
#7
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward wrote:
I was all excited to get a spot at our neighbourhood daycare centre for my 22-month old, who has been at home until now, but a naysayer relative has made me wonder if I'm hurting my daughter more than doing her good by putting her in daycare at this age, in winter, no less. I know my daughter will benefit tremendously from being around other children in a structured educational setting. She will be in a group of 9 children, who are looked after by 2 teachers and one part-time assistant. I work full-time from home, and have a 9-month old here as well. He will stay with me until he gets a spot at the daycare at 12 months. The relative (whose neck I would love to wring right now) insists a child should be kept at home until age 3. I am doing this because I need to keep my job. Until now I had help from my mother, but she leaves in a few days, after having been with us for six months. Already a huge luxury! What I'd love is to hear some positive stories, and if there's any scientific backing to my relative's claims. I was a bit worried about this at first, but I found my little boy loves daycare. He was started at 13 months (now 24 months). In fact I would say that if I did not have to work I would still send him to daycare 2-3 days a week for the play and socialisation. When you think about it, it is one big play group. In ancient times I sure children played with each other. Being walled up in a big house with one parent is a modern construct. He used to be unhappy when I dropped him off in the morning but I used have to chase him to catch him and take him home in the afternoon. Now he runs to his carers and in the morning and in the afternoon and in the afternoon I get an enthusiastic "Daddy !" and he runs to me and gives me a big hug. As for your relative - he is making the claims he should back them up. |
#8
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
In article ,
Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward says... I was all excited to get a spot at our neighbourhood daycare centre for my 22-month old, who has been at home until now, but a naysayer relative has made me wonder if I'm hurting my daughter more than doing her good by putting her in daycare at this age, in winter, no less. I know my daughter will benefit tremendously from being around other children in a structured educational setting. She will be in a group of 9 children, who are looked after by 2 teachers and one part-time assistant. I work full-time from home, and have a 9-month old here as well. He will stay with me until he gets a spot at the daycare at 12 months. The relative (whose neck I would love to wring right now) insists a child should be kept at home until age 3. Do wring said relative's neck. Your daughter will do just fine. What's the special thing about age 3, anyway? Banty |
#9
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
On Dec 4, 4:38 pm, Banty wrote:
Do wring said relative's neck. Yes, dissent from progressive orthodoxy must be silenced! Research on problems with day care should be ignored! Your daughter will do just fine. Maybe, but we have no way of knowing that. |
#10
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
"Beliavsky" wrote in message ... On Dec 4, 4:38 pm, Banty wrote: Do wring said relative's neck. Yes, dissent from progressive orthodoxy must be silenced! Research on problems with day care should be ignored! Your daughter will do just fine. Maybe, but we have no way of knowing that. If a parent needs to work for financial reasons, I suspect that the parent NOT working will hurt more. There's a much greater coorelation between low parental income and just about every problem under the sun than between high quality child care and long-term problems. And in most cases, if you can afford Nanny care, you can afford to have a parent stay home and survive on one income, which means that if you're talking about needing to work, Nanny care is probably out of reach. |
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