A Parenting & kids forum. ParentingBanter.com

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Go Back   Home » ParentingBanter.com forum » misc.kids » General
Site Map Home Authors List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read Web Partners

Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?



 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old December 4th 07, 09:24 PM posted to misc.kids
Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 190
Default Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?

I was all excited to get a spot at our neighbourhood daycare centre
for my 22-month old, who has been at home until now, but a naysayer
relative has made me wonder if I'm hurting my daughter more than doing
her good by putting her in daycare at this age, in winter, no less.

I know my daughter will benefit tremendously from being around other
children in a structured educational setting. She will be in a group
of 9 children, who are looked after by 2 teachers and one part-time
assistant.

I work full-time from home, and have a 9-month old here as well. He
will stay with me until he gets a spot at the daycare at 12 months.

The relative (whose neck I would love to wring right now) insists a
child should be kept at home until age 3.

I am doing this because I need to keep my job. Until now I had help
from my mother, but she leaves in a few days, after having been with
us for six months. Already a huge luxury!

What I'd love is to hear some positive stories, and if there's any
scientific backing to my relative's claims.
  #2  
Old December 4th 07, 09:57 PM posted to misc.kids
Zipadee
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 46
Default Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?

On Dec 4, 3:24 pm, Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward
wrote:
I was all excited to get a spot at our neighbourhood daycare centre
for my 22-month old, who has been at home until now, but a naysayer
relative has made me wonder if I'm hurting my daughter more than doing
her good by putting her in daycare at this age, in winter, no less.

I know my daughter will benefit tremendously from being around other
children in a structured educational setting. She will be in a group
of 9 children, who are looked after by 2 teachers and one part-time
assistant.

I work full-time from home, and have a 9-month old here as well. He
will stay with me until he gets a spot at the daycare at 12 months.

The relative (whose neck I would love to wring right now) insists a
child should be kept at home until age 3.

I am doing this because I need to keep my job. Until now I had help
from my mother, but she leaves in a few days, after having been with
us for six months. Already a huge luxury!

What I'd love is to hear some positive stories, and if there's any
scientific backing to my relative's claims.


And what business is this of your relative's? Just what does
she/he think will happen if your child goes to day-care
before age 3?

Smile and tell the relative "Thank you for your concern but we
feel we are doing what is best for our family". You said that
you know your daughter will benefit so trust your instincts
as her mom and don't let anyone make you doubt yourself.

There is no one right way to bring up kids. I'm sure one can
find studies that show advantages and disadvantages to
children being cared for by a parent at home vs day care.
It sounds like you've found a good day-care setting so
just put that relative right out of your mind.

-- Zip
  #3  
Old December 4th 07, 09:58 PM posted to misc.kids
Bruce Lewis
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2
Default Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?

Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward writes:

The relative (whose neck I would love to wring right now) insists a
child should be kept at home until age 3.

I am doing this because I need to keep my job.


Depending on your daughter's personality and how many hours she's at
daycare, that relative may be right that it will hurt her in some way.
At the same time, you're right that losing your job would hurt her in
other ways.

That's the painful thing about being a parent: We instinctively want to
give our children the best in every area, yet we constantly have to
choose. And we know our kids will be hurt sometimes by us, sometimes by
others, and sometimes by themselves.

I recently had lunch with a 23-year-old coworker. He still remembers
the sinking feeling he had looking out the window the first time his
mother left him at daycare. That was him. Other kids do fine all day
at daycare. Still others will do well for a few hours but not all day.
  #4  
Old December 4th 07, 10:05 PM posted to misc.kids
Beliavsky
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 453
Default Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?

On Dec 4, 3:24 pm, Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward
wrote:
I was all excited to get a spot at our neighbourhood daycare centre
for my 22-month old, who has been at home until now, but a naysayer
relative has made me wonder if I'm hurting my daughter more than doing
her good by putting her in daycare at this age, in winter, no less.

I know my daughter will benefit tremendously from being around other
children in a structured educational setting. She will be in a group
of 9 children, who are looked after by 2 teachers and one part-time
assistant.


I disagree. My 2yo learns a lot from his parents, his baby-sitter, and
his 4yo brother, and I don't think he is missing much by not being
around other 2yo's.

snip

What I'd love is to hear some positive stories, and if there's any
scientific backing to my relative's claims.


There is, but this is a controversial issue. Here is an article
summarizing two studies.

Two Studies Link Child Care to Behavior Problems
By SUSAN GILBERT
New York Times, July 16, 2003
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpag... 4C0A9659C8B63

"With findings that are bound to rekindle the debate over its effects
on children, two studies being published today build on evidence that
those who spend long hours in child care may experience more stress
and are at increased risk of becoming overly aggressive and developing
other behavior problems.

One of the studies found that the more time children spent in child
care, the more likely they were to be disobedient and have trouble
getting along with others, though it suggested that factors like a
mother's sensitivity to the child's needs could moderate that
outcome.

This report is from the Study of Early Child Care and Youth
Development, the largest long-term study of child care in the United
States, which was undertaken by the National Institute of Child Health
and Human Development, a branch of the National Institutes of Health.
The findings elaborate on preliminary research that created a storm of
debate when presented by the study's investigators at a child
development meeting two years ago.

The other study found that in children younger than 3, levels of
cortisol, a hormone associated with stress, rose in the afternoon
during full days they spent in day care, but fell as the hours passed
on days they spent at home. This study's researchers, from the
Institute of Child Development of the University of Minnesota, had
earlier found the same pattern in 3- and 4-year-olds.

Cortisol levels in the saliva of day care children were highest and
rose most steeply in those judged by day care center personnel to be
the shyest. ''These children struggle in group situations and find
them stressful,'' said the study's lead author, Dr. Megan R. Gunnar.

Dr. Gunnar said that while none of the cortisol levels measured were
high enough to be considered signs of psychological trauma, they were
nonetheless a cause for concern."

rest of article at link
  #5  
Old December 7th 07, 03:35 AM posted to misc.kids
Chookie
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,085
Default Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?

In article
,
Beliavsky wrote:

I know my daughter will benefit tremendously from being around other
children in a structured educational setting. She will be in a group
of 9 children, who are looked after by 2 teachers and one part-time
assistant.


I disagree. My 2yo learns a lot from his parents, his baby-sitter, and
his 4yo brother, and I don't think he is missing much by not being
around other 2yo's.


But you don't *know*.

DS2 is getting quite a few things at day care that he doesn't get at home. He
plays with kids who don't necessarily speak English very well, and are of
various cultural backgrounds. Most are of a lower SES than our family -- we
live in a lower middle class area. He plays with materials I'd never be
bothered with at home and plays games he would not get here. You can't really
play Sandy Girl with only two children!

Day care, as I see it, is a substitute for playing with the kids in the street
-- which is what my parents got to do as children. It breaks down social
barriers and broadens the mind. I am quite competent to see to my child's
education myself, and to his morals, but I cannot provide the experience of
diversity (or of being in a large group of children). Most of my friends and
family are Anglophone, well-off and tertiary-educated. I'd hate it if he
thought that "everyone" lived like that -- and I've met plenty of people who
do!

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/
  #6  
Old December 7th 07, 02:11 PM posted to misc.kids
Stephanie[_2_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 693
Default Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?


"Chookie" wrote in message
news:ehrebeniuk-654599.13350107122007@news...
In article
,
Beliavsky wrote:

I know my daughter will benefit tremendously from being around other
children in a structured educational setting. She will be in a group
of 9 children, who are looked after by 2 teachers and one part-time
assistant.


I disagree. My 2yo learns a lot from his parents, his baby-sitter, and
his 4yo brother, and I don't think he is missing much by not being
around other 2yo's.


But you don't *know*.

DS2 is getting quite a few things at day care that he doesn't get at home.
He
plays with kids who don't necessarily speak English very well, and are of
various cultural backgrounds. Most are of a lower SES than our family --
we
live in a lower middle class area. He plays with materials I'd never be
bothered with at home and plays games he would not get here. You can't
really
play Sandy Girl with only two children!

Day care, as I see it, is a substitute for playing with the kids in the
street
-- which is what my parents got to do as children.



I miss this on behalf of my children. Heck for myself too!



It breaks down social
barriers and broadens the mind. I am quite competent to see to my child's
education myself, and to his morals, but I cannot provide the experience
of
diversity (or of being in a large group of children).



By no means disagreeing with your points, but for those who care to, there
are other ways to achieve these things.


Most of my friends and
family are Anglophone, well-off and tertiary-educated. I'd hate it if he
thought that "everyone" lived like that -- and I've met plenty of people
who
do!

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/



  #7  
Old December 4th 07, 10:24 PM posted to misc.kids
Rob
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 79
Default Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?

Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward wrote:
I was all excited to get a spot at our neighbourhood daycare centre
for my 22-month old, who has been at home until now, but a naysayer
relative has made me wonder if I'm hurting my daughter more than doing
her good by putting her in daycare at this age, in winter, no less.

I know my daughter will benefit tremendously from being around other
children in a structured educational setting. She will be in a group
of 9 children, who are looked after by 2 teachers and one part-time
assistant.

I work full-time from home, and have a 9-month old here as well. He
will stay with me until he gets a spot at the daycare at 12 months.

The relative (whose neck I would love to wring right now) insists a
child should be kept at home until age 3.

I am doing this because I need to keep my job. Until now I had help
from my mother, but she leaves in a few days, after having been with
us for six months. Already a huge luxury!

What I'd love is to hear some positive stories, and if there's any
scientific backing to my relative's claims.



I was a bit worried about this at first, but I found my little boy loves
daycare. He was started at 13 months (now 24 months).

In fact I would say that if I did not have to work I would still send
him to daycare 2-3 days a week for the play and socialisation.

When you think about it, it is one big play group. In ancient times I
sure children played with each other. Being walled up in a big house
with one parent is a modern construct.

He used to be unhappy when I dropped him off in the morning but I used
have to chase him to catch him and take him home in the afternoon.

Now he runs to his carers and in the morning and in the afternoon and in
the afternoon I get an enthusiastic "Daddy !" and he runs to me and
gives me a big hug.

As for your relative - he is making the claims he should back them up.

  #8  
Old December 4th 07, 10:38 PM posted to misc.kids
Banty
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,278
Default Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?

In article ,
Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward says...

I was all excited to get a spot at our neighbourhood daycare centre
for my 22-month old, who has been at home until now, but a naysayer
relative has made me wonder if I'm hurting my daughter more than doing
her good by putting her in daycare at this age, in winter, no less.

I know my daughter will benefit tremendously from being around other
children in a structured educational setting. She will be in a group
of 9 children, who are looked after by 2 teachers and one part-time
assistant.

I work full-time from home, and have a 9-month old here as well. He
will stay with me until he gets a spot at the daycare at 12 months.

The relative (whose neck I would love to wring right now) insists a
child should be kept at home until age 3.


Do wring said relative's neck.

Your daughter will do just fine.

What's the special thing about age 3, anyway?

Banty

  #9  
Old December 4th 07, 11:10 PM posted to misc.kids
Beliavsky
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 453
Default Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?

On Dec 4, 4:38 pm, Banty wrote:

Do wring said relative's neck.


Yes, dissent from progressive orthodoxy must be silenced! Research on
problems with day care should be ignored!

Your daughter will do just fine.


Maybe, but we have no way of knowing that.
  #10  
Old December 4th 07, 11:26 PM posted to misc.kids
Donna Metler
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 309
Default Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?


"Beliavsky" wrote in message
...
On Dec 4, 4:38 pm, Banty wrote:

Do wring said relative's neck.


Yes, dissent from progressive orthodoxy must be silenced! Research on
problems with day care should be ignored!

Your daughter will do just fine.


Maybe, but we have no way of knowing that.


If a parent needs to work for financial reasons, I suspect that the parent
NOT working will hurt more. There's a much greater coorelation between low
parental income and just about every problem under the sun than between high
quality child care and long-term problems. And in most cases, if you can
afford Nanny care, you can afford to have a parent stay home and survive on
one income, which means that if you're talking about needing to work, Nanny
care is probably out of reach.



 




Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Child support & daycare JKup General 8 January 7th 07 02:45 AM
signs of child abuse at daycare nasthelli castillo de her General 0 October 7th 05 06:24 AM
sick child daycare toypup General 0 June 6th 04 11:50 PM
Daycare provider issues- child not happy laurie General 3 May 15th 04 06:42 PM
What you do when your child can't attend daycare.... Beeswing General (moderated) 2 July 18th 03 09:20 PM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 03:12 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004-2024 ParentingBanter.com.
The comments are property of their posters.