child support review objection

"Sarah Gray" wrote
Gini wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote
teachrmama wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote
Chris wrote:
Indeed! There exists not a SINGLE CP (mother) who is willing to swap
positions with the NCP (father). Why? Because they know that they are
RIPPING OFF the NCP. That's why! Yet they continue to foolishly
proclaim
that they are being "FAIR".


Maybe some of these CP's actually enjoy spending time with their
children.
As opposed to my ex, who told me today that he will not be coming up
to spend a few days with our daughter this weekend as planned, but
instead will be coming later next week. He says it's "not safe" for
him to make an eight-hour drive alone, so he's waiting until his dad
is driving up later in the week.
She is really disappointed that she can't stay with him while he is
here, just spend a few hours after school
Oh, but Sarah, what is more important? Spending time with dad (and
ditching school) or going to school and having limited time with dad?
chuckle (tongue in cheek)
I just hope he *does* come up next week, because she has really been
looking forward to see him. I have a folder full of pictures and
"letters" she insisted she had to give him in person.
==
Did you tell him that? There were times I had to "prompt" my ex to get
his butt in gear.
Some men just don't understand how their words/actions affect the kids. I
had to prompt my ex when we
lived together to understand the child's needs/feelings from time to
time. No different after the split.

I told him. He is upset that I have not mailed anything, but she has been
insistent on saving stuff to give to him in person. The thing is, he
insists that he wants to be this great dad, and that it's killing him that
he "had" to move. But it's not as if there is a shortage of $9 an hour
jobs here. And, frankly, if I were in his position, I would have already
been doing what I could to have visited her a number of times already. I
suggested renting a car and said that I would help with gas, and he came
up with the above response (he doesn't have a car of his own).
==
I understand your frustration and his apparent wishywashieness (I just made
that word up .
My ex grew up in an emotionally devoid home. After we had kids, he learned
what it was like
to deeply love someone and it kinda threw him offguard. So, while he really
really loved his babies,
he sometimes really didn't know *how* to love them. So, when others might
have seen him as uncaring,
I knew better. Now, even though the boys are in their late 20s, he's right
there for them with lots of hugs
and "I love you's"--and they worship their dad.

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Gini" wrote in message
news:bA81j.6698$ht1.4377@trndny01...

"teachrmama" wrote

"Gini" wrote
"Sarah Gray" wrote
......................................

I just hope he *does* come up next week, because she has really been
looking forward to see him. I have a folder full of pictures and
"letters" she insisted she had to give him in person.
==
Did you tell him that? There were times I had to "prompt" my ex to get
his butt in gear.
Some men just don't understand how their words/actions affect the kids.
I had to prompt my ex when we
lived together to understand the child's needs/feelings from time to
time.

I have to agree. Sometimes they just don't understand the major impact
they have. And I'm not sayig this in any sort of negative way. My
husband is such a solution-finder. When our daughters were very young
he commented that they were acting the same way he had seen some of his
alcoholic relatives act, and he was concerned. I had to point out to
him that they were acting exactly as 1-1/2 and 2-1/2 year olds were
supposed to act. It was his alcoholic relatives that were acting
inapproporiately. chuckle
===
Hehe--they can be pretty dense, eh? I remember my middle son sitting on
the
hood of our car with his suitcase waiting for his dad to arrive. After a
while I called his dad
and told him to get moving. It just didn't occur to him while he was
sipping his third cup of
coffee that the boy was sitting in the driveway
waiting...waiting....(Now, if that were Moon, she
would have been typing a letter to her ex [cc the court, of course] that
the court had not authorized a change
in the visitation schedule and that 24 hour's written notice was required
for such change.)

Yep, I'm sure she would have. But that path has not led her to where she
wanted to go, has it?
==
Nope. And she has one helluva paper trail.

teachrmama wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
...
Gini wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote
teachrmama wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote
Chris wrote:
Indeed! There exists not a SINGLE CP (mother) who is willing to swap
positions with the NCP (father). Why? Because they know that they are
RIPPING OFF the NCP. That's why! Yet they continue to foolishly
proclaim
that they are being "FAIR".


Maybe some of these CP's actually enjoy spending time with their
children.
As opposed to my ex, who told me today that he will not be coming up
to spend a few days with our daughter this weekend as planned, but
instead will be coming later next week. He says it's "not safe" for
him to make an eight-hour drive alone, so he's waiting until his dad
is driving up later in the week.
She is really disappointed that she can't stay with him while he is
here, just spend a few hours after school
Oh, but Sarah, what is more important? Spending time with dad (and
ditching school) or going to school and having limited time with dad?
chuckle (tongue in cheek)
I just hope he *does* come up next week, because she has really been
looking forward to see him. I have a folder full of pictures and
"letters" she insisted she had to give him in person.
==
Did you tell him that? There were times I had to "prompt" my ex to get
his butt in gear.
Some men just don't understand how their words/actions affect the kids. I
had to prompt my ex when we
lived together to understand the child's needs/feelings from time to
time. No different after the split.
I told him. He is upset that I have not mailed anything, but she has been
insistent on saving stuff to give to him in person. The thing is, he
insists that he wants to be this great dad, and that it's killing him that
he "had" to move. But it's not as if there is a shortage of $9 an hour
jobs here. And, frankly, if I were in his position, I would have already
been doing what I could to have visited her a number of times already. I
suggested renting a car and said that I would help with gas, and he came
up with the above response (he doesn't have a car of his own).

It doesn't sound as if he has quite developed the knack of taking
responsibility for his own choices yet. Do you have a video camera? Maybe
seeing a video ov his daughter would motivate him to come up more often.



I have a slew of videos uploaded to youtube that I have emailed him
links to.

--

Sarah Gray

Gini wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote
Gini wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote
teachrmama wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote
Chris wrote:
Indeed! There exists not a SINGLE CP (mother) who is willing to swap
positions with the NCP (father). Why? Because they know that they are
RIPPING OFF the NCP. That's why! Yet they continue to foolishly
proclaim
that they are being "FAIR".


Maybe some of these CP's actually enjoy spending time with their
children.
As opposed to my ex, who told me today that he will not be coming up
to spend a few days with our daughter this weekend as planned, but
instead will be coming later next week. He says it's "not safe" for
him to make an eight-hour drive alone, so he's waiting until his dad
is driving up later in the week.
She is really disappointed that she can't stay with him while he is
here, just spend a few hours after school
Oh, but Sarah, what is more important? Spending time with dad (and
ditching school) or going to school and having limited time with dad?
chuckle (tongue in cheek)
I just hope he *does* come up next week, because she has really been
looking forward to see him. I have a folder full of pictures and
"letters" she insisted she had to give him in person.
==
Did you tell him that? There were times I had to "prompt" my ex to get
his butt in gear.
Some men just don't understand how their words/actions affect the kids. I
had to prompt my ex when we
lived together to understand the child's needs/feelings from time to
time. No different after the split.
I told him. He is upset that I have not mailed anything, but she has been
insistent on saving stuff to give to him in person. The thing is, he
insists that he wants to be this great dad, and that it's killing him that
he "had" to move. But it's not as if there is a shortage of $9 an hour
jobs here. And, frankly, if I were in his position, I would have already
been doing what I could to have visited her a number of times already. I
suggested renting a car and said that I would help with gas, and he came
up with the above response (he doesn't have a car of his own).
==
I understand your frustration and his apparent wishywashieness (I just made
that word up .
My ex grew up in an emotionally devoid home. After we had kids, he learned
what it was like
to deeply love someone and it kinda threw him offguard. So, while he really
really loved his babies,
he sometimes really didn't know *how* to love them. So, when others might
have seen him as uncaring,
I knew better. Now, even though the boys are in their late 20s, he's right
there for them with lots of hugs
and "I love you's"--and they worship their dad.



That is great how you guys have managed to maintain good relationships
with your kids.
I'm really hoping that my ex gets it together; As much as I cannot stand
him, I want my daughter to have a decent relationship with her dad.

--

Sarah Gray

"Sarah Gray" wrote
Gini wrote:
.............................
==
I understand your frustration and his apparent wishywashieness (I just
made that word up .
My ex grew up in an emotionally devoid home. After we had kids, he
learned what it was like
to deeply love someone and it kinda threw him offguard. So, while he
really really loved his babies,
he sometimes really didn't know *how* to love them. So, when others might
have seen him as uncaring,
I knew better. Now, even though the boys are in their late 20s, he's
right there for them with lots of hugs
and "I love you's"--and they worship their dad.



That is great how you guys have managed to maintain good relationships
with your kids.
I'm really hoping that my ex gets it together; As much as I cannot stand
him, I want my daughter to have a decent relationship with her dad.
===
There's nothing more precious than family and like it or not, when we have
children, our ex's are family--forever.

"Gini" wrote in message
news:wT81j.6699$ht1.3843@trndny01...

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Gini" wrote in message
news:bA81j.6698$ht1.4377@trndny01...

"teachrmama" wrote

"Gini" wrote
"Sarah Gray" wrote
......................................

I just hope he *does* come up next week, because she has really been
looking forward to see him. I have a folder full of pictures and
"letters" she insisted she had to give him in person.
==
Did you tell him that? There were times I had to "prompt" my ex to get
his butt in gear.
Some men just don't understand how their words/actions affect the
kids. I had to prompt my ex when we
lived together to understand the child's needs/feelings from time to
time.

I have to agree. Sometimes they just don't understand the major impact
they have. And I'm not sayig this in any sort of negative way. My
husband is such a solution-finder. When our daughters were very young
he commented that they were acting the same way he had seen some of his
alcoholic relatives act, and he was concerned. I had to point out to
him that they were acting exactly as 1-1/2 and 2-1/2 year olds were
supposed to act. It was his alcoholic relatives that were acting
inapproporiately. chuckle
===
Hehe--they can be pretty dense, eh? I remember my middle son sitting on
the
hood of our car with his suitcase waiting for his dad to arrive. After a
while I called his dad
and told him to get moving. It just didn't occur to him while he was
sipping his third cup of
coffee that the boy was sitting in the driveway
waiting...waiting....(Now, if that were Moon, she
would have been typing a letter to her ex [cc the court, of course]
that the court had not authorized a change
in the visitation schedule and that 24 hour's written notice was
required for such change.)

Yep, I'm sure she would have. But that path has not led her to where she
wanted to go, has it?
==
Nope. And she has one helluva paper trail.

So, is it just her nature to be that way? Or did today's system give her
that extra measure of comfort she needed to behave in that manner?

"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
...
teachrmama wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
...
Gini wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote
teachrmama wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote
Chris wrote:
Indeed! There exists not a SINGLE CP (mother) who is willing to swap
positions with the NCP (father). Why? Because they know that they
are
RIPPING OFF the NCP. That's why! Yet they continue to foolishly
proclaim
that they are being "FAIR".


Maybe some of these CP's actually enjoy spending time with their
children.
As opposed to my ex, who told me today that he will not be coming up
to spend a few days with our daughter this weekend as planned, but
instead will be coming later next week. He says it's "not safe" for
him to make an eight-hour drive alone, so he's waiting until his dad
is driving up later in the week.
She is really disappointed that she can't stay with him while he is
here, just spend a few hours after school
Oh, but Sarah, what is more important? Spending time with dad (and
ditching school) or going to school and having limited time with dad?
chuckle (tongue in cheek)
I just hope he *does* come up next week, because she has really been
looking forward to see him. I have a folder full of pictures and
"letters" she insisted she had to give him in person.
==
Did you tell him that? There were times I had to "prompt" my ex to get
his butt in gear.
Some men just don't understand how their words/actions affect the kids.
I had to prompt my ex when we
lived together to understand the child's needs/feelings from time to
time. No different after the split.
I told him. He is upset that I have not mailed anything, but she has
been insistent on saving stuff to give to him in person. The thing is,
he insists that he wants to be this great dad, and that it's killing him
that he "had" to move. But it's not as if there is a shortage of $9 an
hour jobs here. And, frankly, if I were in his position, I would have
already been doing what I could to have visited her a number of times
already. I suggested renting a car and said that I would help with gas,
and he came up with the above response (he doesn't have a car of his
own).

It doesn't sound as if he has quite developed the knack of taking
responsibility for his own choices yet. Do you have a video camera?
Maybe seeing a video ov his daughter would motivate him to come up more
often.

I have a slew of videos uploaded to youtube that I have emailed him links
to.

That's great. I'm sure she is a superstar!!

teachrmama wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message

I have a slew of videos uploaded to youtube that I have emailed him links
to.

That's great. I'm sure she is a superstar!!



Oh for sure. Only 5 and already a diva!

--

Sarah Gray

"Gini" wrote in message
news:LO81j.12663$Mg1.6005@trndny03...

"Sarah Gray" wrote
Gini wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote
teachrmama wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote
Chris wrote:
Indeed! There exists not a SINGLE CP (mother) who is willing to swap
positions with the NCP (father). Why? Because they know that they are
RIPPING OFF the NCP. That's why! Yet they continue to foolishly
proclaim
that they are being "FAIR".


Maybe some of these CP's actually enjoy spending time with their
children.
As opposed to my ex, who told me today that he will not be coming up
to spend a few days with our daughter this weekend as planned, but
instead will be coming later next week. He says it's "not safe" for
him to make an eight-hour drive alone, so he's waiting until his dad
is driving up later in the week.
She is really disappointed that she can't stay with him while he is
here, just spend a few hours after school
Oh, but Sarah, what is more important? Spending time with dad (and
ditching school) or going to school and having limited time with dad?
chuckle (tongue in cheek)
I just hope he *does* come up next week, because she has really been
looking forward to see him. I have a folder full of pictures and
"letters" she insisted she had to give him in person.
==
Did you tell him that? There were times I had to "prompt" my ex to get
his butt in gear.
Some men just don't understand how their words/actions affect the kids.
I had to prompt my ex when we
lived together to understand the child's needs/feelings from time to
time. No different after the split.

I told him. He is upset that I have not mailed anything, but she has been
insistent on saving stuff to give to him in person. The thing is, he
insists that he wants to be this great dad, and that it's killing him
that he "had" to move. But it's not as if there is a shortage of $9 an
hour jobs here. And, frankly, if I were in his position, I would have
already been doing what I could to have visited her a number of times
already. I suggested renting a car and said that I would help with gas,
and he came up with the above response (he doesn't have a car of his
own).
==
I understand your frustration and his apparent wishywashieness (I just
made that word up .
My ex grew up in an emotionally devoid home. After we had kids, he learned
what it was like
to deeply love someone and it kinda threw him offguard. So, while he
really really loved his babies,
he sometimes really didn't know *how* to love them. So, when others might
have seen him as uncaring,
I knew better. Now, even though the boys are in their late 20s, he's right
there for them with lots of hugs
and "I love you's"--and they worship their dad.

Same with my husband--very cold home environment growing up. My favorite
picture is the first time he went out and played with the whiffle ball and
bat with the girls when they were 6 and 7. I framed it and hung it on the
wall. Before that, he was there, but not really there, if you know what I
mean. That was a breakthrough moment for all of us. =c)

"teachrmama" wrote

"Gini" wrote

"teachrmama" wrote

"Gini" wrote
.................................
===
Hehe--they can be pretty dense, eh? I remember my middle son sitting
on the
hood of our car with his suitcase waiting for his dad to arrive. After
a while I called his dad
and told him to get moving. It just didn't occur to him while he was
sipping his third cup of
coffee that the boy was sitting in the driveway
waiting...waiting....(Now, if that were Moon, she
would have been typing a letter to her ex [cc the court, of course]
that the court had not authorized a change
in the visitation schedule and that 24 hour's written notice was
required for such change.)

Yep, I'm sure she would have. But that path has not led her to where
she wanted to go, has it?
==
Nope. And she has one helluva paper trail.

So, is it just her nature to be that way? Or did today's system give her
that extra measure of comfort she needed to behave in that manner?
==
Considering the behavior is consistent over the years and profoundly
pervasive, it appears to be her nature.